“I’m delighted to hear you say that!” said Charlotte. It couldn’t be comfortable leaning over to stroke Louise’s back, but she kept doing it. Her warmth sank in through the fabric of Louise’s dress. Heat built behind Louise’s eyes.
I can’t believe I’m letting someone younger than me comfort me. The first thing that came to mind was, as always, petty self-derision. But her heart did feel lighter.
“I know this is terribly shallow of me, but I was so preoccupied with myself,” Louise said, the words slipping out before she realized her mouth was giving them shape. It was like a dam had broken, and soon she was confiding that she hadn’t even thought to celebrate Claudia. Could she still call herself Claudia’s best friend?
When she’d said everything, Charlotte stopped stroking Louise’s back and instead clasped her hand. “You’re always so hard on yourself. I’m always so focused on Lady Claudia that it never occurred to me to reflect on my own faults!” And that, she said, was why she’d wanted to celebrate Claudia the moment she heard the news. “I don’t think there’s anything wrong with the way you handle things, Big Sister. In fact, I think you are the one person who can stand beside Lady Claudia as her equal.”
“I can?” Louise asked in disbelief.
“Most definitely, beyond a shadow of a doubt. I am certain that if you asked Lady Claudia, she would tell you the exact same thing.”
Louise shook her head. “But I haven’t accomplished anything.”
“Do you make friends with someone based on their accomplishments?”
“No, I…”
I don’t.
Charlotte beamed. “See? Even if Lady Claudia were a baron’s daughter, you two still would have become friends if given the opportunity.”
Louise hesitated. “I suppose I’ve been looking at it all wrong.”
It was as if the dark clouds obscuring her sight had finally lifted. Her desperation to demonstrate her maturity and her friendship with Claudia were two entirely separate things. She had mixed them into a toxic cocktail and gotten depressed over it.
“And if we’re speaking of accomplishments, I don’t have any either! In fact, I ignore what my mother expects of me.”
According to Charlotte, once her mother realized that it would be impossible for Charlotte to land a match with Sylvester, she’d shifted her focus to Raul instead. Charlotte had no intention of humoring her mother on that point, however, and had found ways to brush her off whenever the topic arose.
“I realize I’m not being a dutiful daughter,” said Charlotte.
An aristocratic lady’s marriage was determined by her parents. The same was true for Louise. The only difference was that her parents weren’t openly considering any offers at the moment. Tristan popped into her head, but she knew it would only sidetrack her if she let herself think about him, so she pushed him to the back of her mind.
“Compared to Lady Claudia, I’m no better than common garbage!” Charlotte proclaimed dramatically.
“Honestly, aren’t you exaggerating?” Like Louise, Charlotte had been a bridal candidate. She never would have been considered if she hadn’t won approval from those around her.
“I could say the same to you. Aren’t you overthinking things?”
Louise was at a loss for words.
Charlotte’s gaze was gentle and warm. “I understand where you are coming from. There are times when I feel the distance between us and Lady Claudia growing.”
Claudia showed no fear, even when she had to handle married ladies with many more years of experience through her princess training. She always seemed to be steps ahead, leaving them in the dust. But, as Charlotte said, that wasn’t completely true.
“Just as our friendship allows me access to meet with you, so too does your friendship with Lady Claudia.” Being close to Claudia allowed them the special privilege of being able to see her in person and spend time with her. “It makes me glad I didn’t give up on myself. Not just anyone could become friends with incredible ladies like you two!”
Louise nodded. She wouldn’t have accepted such a spur-of-the-moment visit from anyone else.
“At any rate, my point is that you have done nothing wrong!”
“That wasn’t a well-argued conclusion,” Louise pointed out despite the smile on her face.
The way Charlotte tried desperately to express herself was utterly adorable. I really do have the best friends.
“Thank you,” said Louise. “I feel much better now.”
“I’m so glad to hear that! Actually, I was copying Lady Claudia when I stroked your back.”
“You were?”
Charlotte explained that when she was crestfallen before, Claudia had rubbed her back to encourage her. “She made me feel so validated… I hope I was able to emulate that to some degree. It’s a relief to see you smiling again.”
“I apologize for worrying you. I wish I could be more optimistic.”
This wasn’t the first time Louise had brooded over her own flaws. There had been nights when the regrets and self-blame kept her wide awake.
“As I said, you overthink things,” Charlotte told her. “When you can’t sleep, it’s best to do a little exercise!” Once one was sufficiently exhausted, they’d fall asleep whether they liked it or not.
Louise laughed. Of course that was Charlotte’s solution.
“It’s more effective than you’d think!” Charlotte insisted.
Still snickering, Louise said, “All right, all right. I will try it next time.”
It didn’t solve the core issue, but perhaps this was better. After all, no matter how much I want to change, I haven’t been able to.
As Louise had discovered, thanks to Charlotte, there were perhaps other angles from which she could approach her problems. She might not have felt compelled to try if it weren’t for Charlotte—who had personal experience thanks to her battles with her own complex—encouraging her.
“Now, let’s get back to your original topic,” said Louise. “We should think of a way to celebrate Dee.”
“Absolutely!”
“I know the perfect place.”
Louise’s family had remodeled their conservatory on the basis that it urgently needed updating. Her mother hadn’t yet thrown the lavish party she’d planned to unveil it, but surely she wouldn’t mind if Louise invited Charlotte and Claudia.
“You really think that’s okay to do before the unveiling?” Charlotte asked doubtfully.
“Certainly. My parents are supportive of my relationship with the future crown princess.”
“Ah ha ha, so are mine!”
The Saviles had their status to maintain. While they normally strove to keep their distance from the Lindsays, Claudia would be part of the royal family soon enough. Provided there was no good reason to do otherwise, the marquess and marchioness—both as parents and as members of the aristocracy—would support their friendship.
Louise could already picture the three of them gathered in her family’s conservatory. It would be delightful, spending time with the two people she felt most comfortable with—of that she was sure.
“Let’s discuss the details.”
“Absolutely! I can hardly wait!”
With the great big grin on her face and her pastel-pink hair, Charlotte resembled a flower in Louise’s mind. Her childlike naivety helped Louise forget all the worries that had been haunting her, and for that, Louise was immensely grateful.