* * * Hearing Alice’s voice from the speaker system, we hear the low-rumbling engine noise that every Kisaragi employee knows all too well. Mr. Destroyer, the Multilegged Combat Vehicle, steps out in front of the Sand King. The beast’s escape route is cut off, and it’s surrounded by enemies looking to take it out once and for all. “Squeesqueesquee, squeeeek!” The Sand King lets out a high-pitched series of squeaks. “Yeah, well, bring it, you damned mole! Monster-slaying isn’t just for Heroes!” Mr. Destroyer and the Sand King finally face off in earnest… “Taste the power of science!” “Squeeee!” Far from Hideout City, they engage in a genuine giant-monster battle. 3 Having returned to the base, we first decide to wash Mr. Destroyer, who did the most work today. “Mr. Destroyer really is the best. A mere mole is no match for it.” Alice, a firm believer in science and nothing else, happily pats Mr. Destroyer’s hull. The Sand King, which had long plagued the demons as well as the neighboring country, was finally put down after a fierce duel with Mr. Destroyer. Despite its adorable appearance, it was still a great monster, and it put up a hell of a fight until the very end. Mr. Destroyer is a true asset for allowing us to take care of that monster. “Mr. Destroyer’s damaged all over now. The least I can do is fill the cracks with grains of rice.” “What the hell are you trying to do to Mr. Destroyer?! Do you want to die?! I’ll fix the damage myself. It’ll take some time, but my repairs will be so thorough that, by the time I’m done, you’ll be able to see your reflection in the hull.” Alice has an attachment to Mr. Destroyer bordering on obsession. She forces us to also treat it like a person in conversation, but I suppose that attachment stems from it being a fellow robot. …Heine, who has been oddly quiet since the end of the battle between the Sand King and Mr. Destroyer, bows her head deeply. “Mr. Destroyer, was it? Thank you so very much for taking down the Sand King. Usually, you don’t move at all, and I thought you were just lazy, but I was wrong. I thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for accomplishing the long-held hope of demonkind.” Heine then deeply bows her head to Mr. Destroyer. It seems like she’s got a strange misunderstanding of what it actually is. Oh, right, she wasn’t there for the fight between Mr. Destroyer and Russell’s giant robot. Just when I try to tell her that Mr. Destroyer is similar to a golem… “Mr. Destroyer says the power you generated is the reason he was able to defeat the Sand King. The electricity you helped create with your high-quality flames was most delicious.” “R-really?! I see. My flames helped…” Alice begins pumping the ignorant Heine’s head full of weird ideas, but every Kisaragi operative other than me is already busy preparing the victory party. Which is why Alice, Heine, and I are the only ones here. I opt to jump on Alice’s bandwagon. “Mr. Destroyer is our trump card, and he usually spends his days sleeping as a result. The harder you work in the power plant, Heine, the stronger Mr. Destroyer becomes.” “Is that true?! …Okay then! From now, I’ll redouble my efforts!” “Very good. Mr. Destroyer is looking forward to your help, but he doesn’t want you to work too hard. He’s asking that I give you some time off as I promised before.” Tears spill from Heine’s eyes. “Oh, Mr. Destroyer…” Looks like she’s just as thickheaded as me and Rose. I’ve been hearing announcements of Evil Point gains throughout our entire conversation with Heine, and at this rate, it looks like I’ll be in the black again soon. As we continue teasing her, Viper shows up. “Um, I was told preparations for the party are complete, so I came to collect you all…” “Oh, gotcha. Once Mr. Destroyer’s clean, we’ll head over.” Hearing that, Heine smiles and offers her help. “I’ll help, too! It looks like Mr. Destroyer fell asleep. When he wakes up, I’m sure he’ll be surprised by how clean we made him!” “Huh…? Um, what’s Heine talking about…?” Clearly understanding Mr. Destroyer isn’t a living being, Viper looks confused by Heine’s words. “In commemoration of the Kisaragi Corporation’s defeat of the Sand King, I’d like to begin with a short—” With the microphone in one hand, I’m about to start my lead-in to the toast at the party grounds constructed in Hideout City… “Get on with it!” “We wanna drink already! Skip the speech and get to the toast!” The expendables heckle me without fear. I suppose it’s about time to make some things clear to them. “Okay, okay, shut up already! Here’s a toast to the rare feat of all you weak-ass, dime-a-dozen agents surviving the battle with the Sand King… Cheers!” “Cheers…my ass! We’re not dime-a-dozen!” With that half-assed toast, a wave of clinking glass washes over our group. We’ve turned Hideout City square into a party venue, setting up several tables for a buffet-style gathering. The newly immigrated demon residents have joined us for the toast. With the Sand King gone, they’ll now formally become residents of this city. Meaning now’s a good time to get to know them better. But still… “There’s a succubus! A real-life succubus! And I bet that girl with the pointy fang is a vampire! Damn, this planet is paradise! I’m so happy!” “More like a furry paradise… There’s so many fluffy people…!” “I heard the kingdom of Grace was short on men thanks to the war, but it looks like the demons are in a pretty similar situation in terms of gender ratio… I think I’m gonna like it here…” Seeing how the agents are eyeing the demons, it doesn’t seem like they’ll need my help making new friends. The folks on the demon side have surrounded Tiger Man and are offering him praise after watching him fight. “You’re Tiger Man, yes? I hear you stood resolutely in front of the Sand King to keep it from escaping!” “Tiger Man, you’re so dreamy! I just love your rugged chest hair… Can I touch it?” “Sir Tiger Man, if you would spare a moment of your time for us… Ohhh, what a man. Even the charms of a succubus won’t work on him… So this is what a hero is made of…” The succubi press their chests up against him, but Tiger Man offers no reaction, gulping down the rest of the beer in his mug. Unused to this sort of reaction, the more they’re ignored, the harder the demonesses try to get his attention… Rose (predator) and an orc (prey) sit side by side and devour their food. The Lilim girl Camille wanders by to give her thanks, and Tiger Man follows her every movement with an intense gaze. I’m stuffing my face, enjoying the chaotic atmosphere of the party, when Viper comes over to me. “Mr. Six, thank you so much for everything. It’s thanks to you all that the demons have managed to smile again. We were invaders, and yet… How can we ever repay you…?” As Viper goes through her spiel again, I wave the piece of meat I’ve been eating at her. “Vi, you’re always so formal. You just need to say something like, Thanks, I look forward to working with you from here on out, and leave it at that. We Combat Agents are really only good for fighting, so we might not have a lot to do most of the time. When I have downtime, though, I’d love it if you helped me with video games again. Sound good?” “Yes, I’d be happy to! …Um, oh…that is…” Viper replies eagerly but then seems at a loss for words. …Oh, right. I’m going to have a bit of free time now that the Sand King’s gone, but I guess people like Viper, who are actually good at paperwork, will find themselves even busier from now on. “Oh, right, I understand. Vi, you’re gonna be the most in-demand person in the hideout, after all. But you still owe me, so I won’t forgive you if you just forget about it. At the very least, I’ll have you help me finish this stupid game we’ve been playing. That’s something I won’t budge on as the branch manager.” At my selfish request, Viper looks a little happy and a little sad… “Very well. So you still need my help to finish the game…” “Yes, it’s a promise. A promise is binding! I easily forget promises that don’t benefit me, but I never forget promises like this one.” Just then. “There’s no need to thank him, Viper. He didn’t do anything in the fight against the Sand King.” Despite being unable to hold her liquor, Snow interrupts our conversation, glass in hand… “I did contribute! When the Sand King showed up, I protected Alice! Besides, you didn’t do anything, either! All that talk at the start, and you’re nowhere to be found during the fight!” “Silence! That very subject is why I’m here! …Remember, I was close by when the Sand King appeared, was I not?” Snow says this quietly, as though in a whisper. “I was caught off guard at the time. And well…” …? “Oh! Hold on… When the Sand King made its dramatic entrance, did you get caught up in the blast and pass out?!” “Shhh, don’t say that so loudly! Others might hear us! A-anyway, I can’t face Her Highness like this. In the worst-case scenario, I might be dismissed from her service…” …… “So you want me to let you take credit for saving Alice? I’m desperate for glory this time, too! Don’t eat off my plate!” “Please…! If I get fired and have nowhere to go, could I possibly…you know…like Rose and Grimm…?” What about Rose and Grimm? I hope she’s not begging me to marry and support her like Grimm always is. Backed into a corner, Snow glares at me. “Why can you never take a hint?! Or are you really just that stupid?! Anyone else would’ve figured out what I’m getting at by now!” “What the hell are you talking about?! Why are you yelling at me?” “Why do you two always get into a shouting match the moment you see each other?! Can’t we all just get along?!” Viper hurriedly tries to insert herself between us, but Combat Agents are pretty much all thugs, Snow notwithstanding. This squabbling’s just our regular form of communication. “I’ll forgive you today for Vi’s sake, but you won’t be so lucky next time!” “Th-there are times when I really envy you. I think of just how blissfully easy it would be to say what I want, do what I want, and live life as I please…” Viper lets out a sigh of relief as we bury the hatchet for the moment. “Vi, you’re always so tense. Try to relax a little. Here, I’ll lend you the video game, so play it when you want to slack off from work.” I hand the portable console to Viper. She doesn’t have to be totally useless like us, but I do think this girl should take it easy every now and then. “N-no, I don’t think it’s good to skip work… But okay, I’ll borrow it for a bit. I’ll return it in a week or so…” “Only a week? You can keep it forever if you’d like. I mean, I plan to come see you in the office every day anyway.” Having taken that awful game into her hands, Viper smiles as she bows her head in thanks. “One week will be plenty… Thank you for everything, Mr. Six.” As Viper happily cradles the game to her chest, I can’t help but feel uneasy. I feel like I just caught a glimpse of what they call a “death flag.” “Hey, Vi…” “Oh, Viper, there you are.” Alice appears before I can say anything. If she’s here, I guess Heine fully took over the task of cleaning and shining Mr. Destroyer. “Ms. Alice, is it time?” “Yeah, it’s time. All right, let’s get going. Snow, you’re coming with us.” Time for what? When I try to go with them, Viper stops me. “I have a few things left to take care of, so please wait here, Mr. Six.” Oh, I guess she’s finishing the last of the paperwork for today. Snow’s probably going with them because she was useless in the fight, and they’re making her help to make up for it. “All right then, Vi, see you tomorrow.” As I call out to her, Viper briefly turns back to glance at me. “…Yes, see you tomorrow.” She furrows her brow a moment, and her smile seems forced. As I watch her delicate form recede, I think back to what she said when she took the game from me. “One week will be plenty… Thank you for everything, Mr. Six.” I wonder she didn’t just say thank you. Why did she make it feel like that was the last time she’d speak to me? I decide to ask her about it when she’s done with her work for the day, but… …after leaving with Alice, Viper never returns to the hideout. The announcement that the kingdom of Grace would celebrate the defeat of the Sand King by executing the Demon Lord came the next day. 4 As I pace around the office, Rose, tucked under a blanket on the sofa, speaks up. “Boss, calm down, please. Let’s just wait until Ms. Alice can explain the details.” “Alice hasn’t come back, either. And what the hell are you doing? Whose blanket is that?” Apparently, when Alice and Viper left yesterday, they were heading to the castle in the kingdom of Grace. This morning, the news of the Defeat of the Sand King Celebration and the Demon Lord’s execution came out, but… “This is Viper’s blanket that I won from Russell in a fight. I find it soothing to have it wrapped around me.” The two Chimeras, who are quite attached to Viper, have also been on pins and needles all morning. Heine, the one most negatively affected by the news, has holed herself up in the power plant and is obsessively generating electricity. No doubt she plans to ask Mr. Destroyer, currently recharging next to the facility, for help. Then again, Heine seemed to have known something like this would happen from the time she was locked up in the dungeon of the Demon Lord’s Castle. She might be trying to distract herself by focusing on her work. “You probably don’t remember because you were asleep, but when we first met Vi, she said she wanted the kingdom of Grace to execute her as recompense for the demons’ many transgressions. She probably means to take responsibility for the entire war, but I didn’t realize she was this serious about it.” Viper had been working hard every day, approaching her tasks with the utmost care and focus, but I guess she was putting in her best effort because she planned to die from the very beginning. …Just then, the door to the office opens, and Tiger Man pokes his head in. “Six, come with me. Emergency meeting in the cafeteria.” I can tell Tiger Man isn’t messing around because, once again, he’s forgotten to purr. “I take it you guys have hearrrrd the news? Man, as soon as we killed the Sand King, things got weirrrd,” says Tiger Man, surrounded by Kisaragi agents. “Why are they executing Ms. Viper? Do those Grace Kingdom assholes not understand just how valuable attractive young women are?!” “Viper’s such a good girl. She’s beautiful but in possession of a kindness and a common sense you’d never find at Kisaragi…” “Well, she might not have thaaat much common sense. I mean, the other day when I said, ‘Heh-heh-heh, so, young lady, what color panties are you wearing?’ as a greeting, she tried to answer me normally.” The last agent to speak up gets smacked by everyone in attendance. Russell, who’s been stirring a pot in the kitchen, says with a note of exasperation: “Will you calm down, guys? We have no idea what’s going on until Alice gives us the details. There’s time until the execution. So right now, we should wait on Alice.” “Mr. Russell, you need to calm down, too. You’ve been stirring the pot for a while now, but you forgot to put in any ingredients.” Russell falls silent at Rose’s words. I take the opportunity to get up on a table and shout: “Alice hasn’t come back, either, dammit! This is a challenge to us by the kingdom of Grace! Vi is our prisoner of war, so why should we sit back and let the kingdom of Grace execute her?! Beautiful young women are valuable assets! If they’re planning to take one of our assets, that’s no different than a declaration of war!” “Wow, I actually agree with something Six said, for once! Yeah, we’re an evil organization! If there’s something we want, we should just take it!” “Heh-heh-heh, now we’re talking like a real evil organization. We’ve all been behaving ourselves ever since we got to this rock. Now’s the time to do some real damage…!” The Combat Agents, who are all petty thugs at heart, cheer in agreement. The rest depends on the influential mutant Tiger Man’s opinion, but… “If Vipurr is gone, no matter how grrrrreat a sorcerer stone I obtain, no one else can make me a kid again! If the possibility isn’t zerrrro, I’m not giving up!” I don’t understand what he’s saying, nor do I want to understand, but if nothing else, he seems to agree we have to rescue Viper. “Ugh, you people really are dumb. Since I’m afraid you’ll mess up on your own, I, Russell of the Water, will lend you a hand. I feel like you all have been underestimating me lately. I’ll show those pitiful humans of the kingdom of Grace just what I’m capable of.” “Mr. Russell, you just uttered one of the Kisaragi manual’s forbidden lines. If you come with us, you’ll probably die, so just stay here and cook something.” I guess everyone agrees we have to rescue Viper. “All right then, let’s get to it! Prepare for war! Remember Kisaragi’s real nature! We’re gonna invade the kingdom of Grace and get Alice and Vi back!” ““““Yaaaaahoooo!”””” And just as we all get fired up… “You morons. Why the hell would you want to invade the kingdom of Grace? They don’t have much in the way of resources. The place to invade is Toris, you hear me? Toris.” Having returned while we weren’t paying attention, Alice speaks to us from the doorway. “So why are you doing the walk of shame despite being an android, huh? Also, the reason we’re gonna invade the kingdom of Grace is to save Vi. We don’t want to take over the country itself!” “That’s why I’m telling you to stop. Viper’s execution was decided from the start. It was included in the terms when they agreed to let the demons settle in Hideout City if the Sand King was defeated. We discussed this with Tillis herself.” Well, I suppose that’s what I should expect from a cold, calculating android. She’s completely heartless. “Hey, Alice, doesn’t Vi’s presence help you as well? I mean, you were piling all sorts of work on her. Given how clever you are, surely you’ve got some way of saving her, right?” “It’s true that since Kisaragi’s full of idiots, having Viper was helpful. But to end a war, there needs to be a scapegoat who can take all the blame. And given that’s what Viper wants, the rest of us aren’t in any position to stop her.” …True, given how seriously self-sacrificial Viper is, that’s something she’d probably say. But… “I hate to do this, but I’m invoking my wartime command authority. Forget about Viper. We finally got everything settled. Don’t mess it up. This is for Kisaragi.” At Alice’s unusually stern warning, everyone present falls silent. It’s now morning, five days before the Defeat of the Sand King Celebration. Grimm’s voice rings out in the training grounds next to the hideout. “Understand me, Commander. I’m not such an easy woman that I’ll forget everything just because you take me on a date!” The day after we’re lectured by Alice, Grimm is fuming. Apparently, she’s upset that we didn’t even notice she came back to life at some point. “Look, it’s not our fault. You’re usually dead when we need you. I mean, for the Sand King battle, if we’d had you around, we would’ve had a much easier time.” Learning she missed out on the battle with the Sand King, especially after missing the Demon Lord’s Army battle, is a heavy blow to Grimm. “…I won’t be swayed by sweet words like if we’d had you around… But I made you lunch. Would you like it?” I take the bento box from the easily swayed Grimm. “Let’s go on a date and eat it together.” Hearing that, Grimm curls her lips into a poorly concealed smile. “Yes, I suppose enjoying a packed lunch together is a regular part of a date. Um, Commander, can you say the words let’s go on a date again? One hundred more times, perhaps?” “N-no way…!” Seeing how happy she is just to hear the word date makes me feel guilty considering where I’m taking her… “I can’t believe I fell for something like this again! I should’ve known you only invited me out on a whim! It was the first time anyone had asked me out on a date, too! Give me back my first time!” We’re near the woods that spread out in front of the hideout. “What are you talking about? This is a proper date. Have you never heard of picnics?” “Hold on! I can understand calling it a picnic if we’re out picking berries or wildflowers. But this is in no way a picnic!” Currently, Grimm and I are gathering mipyokopyoko eggs. Since I heard an amateur can’t tell the difference between mupyokopyoko and mipyokopyoko eggs, I invited Grimm, who seemed to have nothing else to do. “Besides, why did you invite me of all people? I’m not an outdoorsy type! Snow knows how to tell the difference, too!” It’s true that pushing a wheelchair through these woods is a bit of a hassle… “Snow hasn’t come back from the castle, and I thought you’d know a lot about things like this.” “…Well, sure, I do use monster components as part of my job sometimes, but… Sigh, okay, just this once, all right? But in exchange, you need to help me gather materials to use in my rituals.” Well, I guess I can help with that. …And lo, there’s some right there. “Hey, Grimm, which pyokopyoko’s eggs are these?” “These are mipyokopyoko eggs. A strong shock will make them explode, so mind how you handle them… I heard you’re short on money since Alice cut off your allowance, but are you so broke that you need to take odds jobs like this?” “I’m broke enough that I can’t go partying in the kingdom these days.” Grimm smiles thinly. “…Then how about we go drinking tonight? I’ve heard about that girl Viper. I know you two were close, so I’m sure you’re still struggling with that… As the Archbishop of Zenarith, the least I can do is comfort you at a time like this.” “…Okay.” But I’m not going to be comforted. I’m going because there’s something I want to ask Grimm about mipyokopyoko eggs… Three more days until the celebration. The demons in Hideout City have started asking us for jobs. They feel that, because Viper and Heine have been working so hard for their sakes, they can’t just sit around doing nothing. I guess the news about Viper’s execution was intentionally kept from them so as not to cause a stir. With a sudden increase in her paperwork, Alice gets caught grumbling pretty often. She better not look to us for assistance, though. Since we can’t read the local language, there’s nothing we can do to help. When I shrug my shoulders and cite that as my excuse, she threatens to print out a bunch of paperwork in Japanese for me to do instead. I return the favor by telling her it’d just increase her workload because she’ll have to go through and correct all the errors Combat Agents would make filling out the forms. She seemed to have a pretty hard time believing we would brag about something like that. Two days until the celebration. Lately, Tiger Man’s been howling at night, which has been a serious nuisance. There are even more voices joining the chorus tonight. Seems they’re trying to distract themselves from Viper’s absence. But with three of them howling, it’s just way too loud. Too much yowling is going to attract monsters to Hideout City and the kingdom, too, so I wish they’d stop. “Tomorrow, there’s going to be a huge festival commemorating the defeat of the Sand King. They’ll also be conducting that ceremony at the end of the festival, but you guys better not intervene.” The day before the victory celebration, Alice comes in to give us one final warning. It’s a bitter pill to swallow, but in wartime, command authority is absolute within Kisaragi. Everyone here knows that. An organization can’t survive without following its chain of command. Everyone seems to nod in agreement, and then… Tonight’s the long-awaited Defeat of the Sand King Celebration. Maybe it’s because there’s a particularly beautiful moon out, but the three beasts we keep in the hideout are howling again and drawing attention from monsters. It’s possible that predators will be attracted to the city even with a festival underway. As hired Combat Agents, we must fulfill our duty and defend the kingdom of Grace. And so driven by that sense of duty… “We’re the Combat Agents of an evil organization! You think we give a damn about rules?! Ha!” ““““Yaaahooo!”””” This is about par for the course for Kisaragi Combat Agents. If they wanna throw a celebration so badly, we’ll gladly bring the party. I take out the mask I usually don’t wear because it’s so stupid-looking and head into the city to witness Viper’s last moments. 5 Viper’s execution is going to be conducted at around midnight in the city square. I suppose it’s meant to be the grand finale to the festival, but from our outsiders’ perspective, it’s just a bit of grotesque showmanship. Having entered the city, we don our masks, completely ignoring the curious stares of the residents. “Okay, so we’re just Combat Agents here in formal attire to enjoy the festivities. And everyone knows there’s no way that Kisaragi agents can be around this many people and not cause problems. With that in mind, everything that’s about to happen should be seen as nothing but normal, everyday activity.” A group of strange men, wearing a bunch of weird masks, all nod in understanding. Insubordination is heavily punished, so we all ready our excuses, weak as they are. “Okay, the ones who’ll infiltrate the castle will be me and…Combat Agent Ten, who only recently got released from the castle’s dungeon.” “Sneaking into the castle’s as easy as taking an afternoon walk for me now. Leave it to me.” I was wondering why I hadn’t seen Combat Agent Ten lately, and it turns out he royally screwed up again and was taken into custody. “So what did you do this time?” “Nothing major. Since I’d reflected on why it was wrong of me to sneak into Princess Tillis’s room at night, I decided to sneak into her room in broad daylight and have a soak in her bathtub.” There’s a lot I want to ask, including why the hell he took a bath in someone else’s home without asking, but I guess I can trust him with the task of stealing into the castle (again). “After the last time I broke in, they revamped the castle’s security measures, but…that shouldn’t be a problem for me.” Is it really okay to trust this man with anything? I suddenly find myself worrying, but I’d be lying if I said this guy didn’t have a knack for infiltration. I touch the mask I’m wearing and adjust its fit. “I know you were locked up all this time, but do you even know where I want to go?” “Of course I know. When it comes to sneaking into Princess Tillis’s room, I’m your man.” Completely missing the point, Ten gives me a thumbs-up. Maybe I should pick someone else to do this… It’s not too late, right…?! As Ten and I head to the castle… …I retrieve something from my backpack. I’ve been taking advantage of moments when the residents aren’t looking to toss these onto rooftops that look like they get plenty of moonlight. “Six, what are those?” “Mipyokopyoko eggs. They hatch when they absorb enough moonlight.” Yes, what I’m planting are the eggs I collected with Grimm. Ten, running next to me, nods in understanding even though he doesn’t know what’s going on. “So it’s like when I tossed my used tissues onto the roofs of the neighboring houses from my second-story window.” “Uh, just to make sure, you used those tissues to blow your nose, right? Don’t do that in Hideout City, got it?” Having finished my egg tossing, I approach the castle’s outer wall with Ten. The walls are even taller now than during my last visit, and all the entrances other than the main gate have been removed. But for some reason, there’s no sign of guards tonight. It might have something to do with the fact that, for whatever reason, a lot of monsters have been spotted near the city. “Well, how do we get inside? Let me first note that I want you to take us to the dungeon.” “I know the dungeon like my own backyard. Leave it to me. For infiltration…let’s go with this.” That’s when Ten produces a couple of maid outfits. “…Let me guess. We’re going to pretend to be maids who work in the castle and waltz in like we belong here.” “Exactly. The walls are designed to make it impossible to climb over them, and with the only entrance—the main gate—shut tight, we need the watchmen to let us in.” Well, I can follow up to that point. “If you were on watch, who would you stop? A friendly merchant? A person in everyday clothes? The more effort you put into perfecting your disguise, the more likely you’ll mess up. In that case, it’s best to go the complete opposite route. If a couple of burly men wandered by dressed like maids, you’d do your best to avoid interacting with them, right?” Well, sure, I wouldn’t want to interact with us, but I’m pretty sure we’d definitely get stopped. Ten begins changing into the maid outfit without any concern for whoever might be watching. “What do you think? Does it look good?” “Good enough to make me think this just might work…” Ten’s evolved into such a weird creature that any watchman would probably avoid him like the plague. “I’ll lend you my optical camo. Use that to hide yourself and follow me.” I take the light-refracting camouflage device from Ten and quickly turn it on. Before me, a buff man dressed in power armor with a maid outfit pulled over it strides confidently into the castle. The two watchmen, completely taken aback by Ten’s appearance, seem to struggle with something internally before pretending nothing’s wrong and opening the gate… No, they’re totally looking the other way. I really didn’t expect this to work. This man might be more than just your average pervert. Ten continues walking, never once turning his head as he whispers to me. “Six, the dungeon is around this next corner. If someone catches me, don’t hesitate to leave me behind. I’m going to make my way to Princess Tillis’s room. Godspeed,” says the outlandish maid, rather dashingly. I nod, even though I know he can’t see me because of the camo. “Sir Six, I had a feeling you would come.” Tillis, leading a group of knights, is there waiting for me. Snow’s standing next to her with a conflicted look on her face. 6 “I gave the watchmen advance notice to let anyone from Kisaragi through, but I didn’t expect them to let you through looking like that.” She looks a bit uncomfortable when she says this. “Sir Six, our nation’s political climate is such that we simply cannot let bygones be bygones. For the sake of a bright future between our kingdom and Kisaragi, would you mind turning around and going home?” Tillis is more serious than I’ve ever seen her before. …But she’s not talking to me. I’m still hidden by optical camo. She’s speaking to the strange, masked maid. I creep past Tillis with my back to the wall and sneak into the dungeon. Tillis seems to be pretty intent, so I’m not gonna interrupt her. I’ll just leave her in Ten’s care. I easily sneak past the sentry and search for the cell containing the person I’m here to find. And at the very end of the dungeon… …I see Viper in a cell, sitting primly on the floor, engrossed in the game I gave her. “Vi… Vi! This is Six, can you hear me?” When I whisper to her from outside the cell, Viper twitches and looks up. “I-is that you, Mr. Six? Where are you?” As Viper glances around her cell, my inner imp can’t help himself. “I’m transmitting my thoughts directly into your mind from far away, Vi… Can you hear me…? Is my voice reaching you…?” “Yes, I can hear you! Your voice is coming in loud and clear, Mr. Six!” Viper looks off into the distance, appearing a bit excited. Rather than following the sound of my voice, she’s probably looking in the general direction of the hideout. “I didn’t know you could use magic as well! And magic as powerful as telepathy, no less!” Oh, Viper, it wouldn’t kill you to be a bit less gullible… “Forget about my secret powers for now. Tell me what’s going on, Vi. Why are you gonna be executed?” Viper puts on a troubled smile. “I’m sorry, Mr. Six. I lied to you… I wasn’t able to keep my promise of staying with you until you finished your game…” Viper delicately hugs the console to her chest like it’s her newborn child. Considering the gloomy atmosphere of the dungeon, it’s a pretty heart-wrenching sight. “So how far did you get in that dumb game I lent you?” “I was able to handle most of the puzzles, but the fighting was rather difficult, and I ended up getting stuck…” If she’s never played a game before, the combat segments would be hard, I bet. “It’s okay, I’ll handle the fighting. You can just worry about the puzzles, Vi.” “…I’m sorry. My execution is scheduled to take place soon. Everything will be over by the time you get here, Mr. Six…” Even though Hideout City and the kingdom of Grace are technically neighbors, it still takes half a day to get from one to the other. Since Viper doesn’t know I’m right in front of her, the smile on her face wavers further into sadness. “I really enjoyed the time I spent with you, Mr. Six. All you did was come to the office and play video games, but listening to you let out weird voices or suddenly complain about something—Well, I found your carefree lifestyle heartwarming.” She doesn’t think I’ll make it in time, so she begins spilling her feelings. “Oh, I see. Vi, you probably shouldn’t say any more. You might end up regretting it.” I warn her for her own sake, but she just quietly shakes her head. “I won’t have any regrets. When I was helping you with your game, that was the only time I wasn’t a Demon Lord awaiting execution, but simply Viper, playing with her friend. I really, really appreciate what you—” If I let her keep going, there won’t be any salvaging this. “Vi, please don’t say any more. I’m a Combat Agent for an evil organization. I might use this embarrassing story to make you do ridiculous things in the future, you know.” “It’s okay. Remember, I told you when we first met that you could do anything you wanted to me. But even after all the time we spent together, no one at Kisaragi troubled me in the slightest.” When she says this, Viper looks a bit more relaxed than usual. Since she thinks she’s about to be executed, she probably thinks there’s no harm in joking around. “It’s not over yet, Vi. It’s too early to relax. You might end up getting kidnapped and taken to some evildoer’s hideout.” “That’s fine by me. If I could be of use to them in any way, I wouldn’t mind.” Once again, Viper just goes with the flow. “Girls shouldn’t casually go along with every little thing. I promise you’ll end up having regrets if you keep that up.” “I assure you, I won’t. If only I could see you again, Mr. Six… I would do anything. Even now, as I wait for the end, not being able to remain by your side is my only regret…” Viper then chuckles, having teased someone for what might have been the first time in her life. …I see. “‘Anything,’ huh? Well, first, let’s get you outta here, Vi.” I take off my mask and deactivate my camo. Viper freezes and stares at me, mouth agape. “What’s wrong, Vi? Your face is all red, Vi! I did say you’d regret it if you kept going, didn’t I? Hey, Vi, can you tell me how you feel after giving that embarrassing confession right in front of my eyes?” “…! …!” Viper, a blushing, trembling mess, glares daggers at me. “Mr. Six, you’re so mean!” “And, Vi, you’re a liar. I won’t let you break your promise. I’ll say it as many times as I have to. We’re going to finish this stupid game. Together.” I’ll think about the rest once I’ve safely kidnapped Viper and taken her to the hideout. Viper has a troubled look on her face. “I can’t leave this place. For the demons to be forgiven by this kingdom, I need to—” “I don’t care about any of that. I’m a member of an evil organization. Why should I care what happens between the kingdom of Grace and the demons? I’m just gonna kidnap you, Vi.” Yes, it tends to be forgotten a lot, but on a basic level, we’re still evil. Great acts of villainy, like kidnapping beautiful young women, is technically part of our job description. “B-but if you do that, you’ll drive a wedge between Kisaragi and the kingdom! This could result in another war!” “If that happens, Alice will figure something out. She’s smart, unlike me. Besides, our primary goal is world domination. The kingdom’s gonna be ours eventually. It was always a question of when, not if.” “…Oh…” Viper recoils, but the truth is the truth. After all, we’re the bad guys. “B-but even then, your fellow Kisaragi Combat Agents could end up getting dragged into the war! Surely, that’s…” Wait, is this girl serious? “You mentioned this yourself, Vi. We’re always at one another’s throats. Heine even said we were more bloodthirsty than genuine demons.” But that’s a no-brainer… “The job of a Combat Agent is to fight. If there’s no more war in the world, we’ll be out of work.” Viper goes dumb as I say this without a shred of hesitation. “Besides, I’ve thought this for a while, but Combat Agents are mostly scum anyway. If we lose a few, it’s no skin off my nose.” “That’s awful! You shouldn’t say such things!” Viper’s a good girl even in situations like this, but we’re running out of time. I produce my vibrating blade and press it against the cell bars. “N-no, you mustn’t, Mr. Six! There are lots of people who’ll be in trouble if I escape! …Oh!” In no time at all, the first bar is severed. As I place my blade against the second, Viper tearfully pleads with me. “Pl-please stop, Mr. Six. The demons’ lives are on the line. If you don’t stop, I’ll get mad. I really will! I’m still a Demon Lord! I’m strong!” The second bar clatters to the floor, and as I’m working on the third, Viper glares angrily at me through her tears. She’s so adorable. “I—I hate you… I thought you were a nice person, Mr. Six. But considering what you’re doing, I hate you! Please. We’re so close to ending things peacefully! You’re going to ruin everything!” The third bar falls. Knowing she can’t threaten me into compliance, Viper tries to sway me with tears. But she’s so cute when she cries. I bring the blade up to the fourth bar, and Viper grabs the dull side. “Why do you insist on causing so much trouble? We met only recently, and we don’t even know each other that well. I made my peace with this outcome long ago. So please… Please…” Viper turns away in an attempt to hide her tears. “Vi, Vi.” As I ignore the gloom and call her name cheerfully, she faces me again. I’m just a teeny, tiny bit stupider than most people. That’s why I can’t really deal with important matters or handle heavy topics. But there’s one thing I know for sure. No one truly wants to die. “For now, let’s just head back to the base and play that stupid game.” As the fourth bar rolls onto the ground, Viper breaks out sobbing. 7 Carefully cradling the game console, Viper tags along behind me. “Mr. Six, it’s only until we finish this game, all right? After that, I’ll have you return me to the kingdom. I’m going to keep my promise, so you have to keep yours, too, Mr. Six.” “I know, I know. I promise, I promise. But, Vi, your eyes are all red.” Viper casts a suspicious gaze my way. After having a good cry inside her cell, she seems to have stopped holding back with me. How did this unquestioningly naive young woman end up like this? “Oh, if the game console breaks, we gotta start over, okay? And before we can do that, we’ll have to order a new one from my country, so…” At those words, Viper tightly cradles the console to avoid damaging it. “If you break the console, Mr. Six, that condition is null and void. A-also, no slacking off and dying on purpose! Please take it seriously!” That’s fine. I can always just overwrite the save data. Besides, if I explain the situation, I bet Heine and company will just go ahead and destroy the game console on their own. Once we reach entrance to the dungeon, I peek outside to assess the situation. …Straining my ears, I can hear Tillis’s serious attempts at reasoning with Ten. “Sir Six, please give up! This is a matter of a formal treaty between Kisaragi and the kingdom of Grace! …Also, Snow! Stop holding back!” “N-no, Your Highness… I may not be feeling all that up to it, but I’m not holding back…” Unfortunately, the optical camo only works for one person. Since I have Viper with me, it’ll be really hard to sneak out. However… “Gah! Dammit, he really is strong!” “Surround him! He may be a Kisaragi Combat Agent, but he’s unarmed! Hold him down!” “Combat Agent Six…! S-so this is the power of a man who’s taken down the Demon Lord’s Elite Four…!” Out of the corner of my eye, “Agent Six” is brawling with some knights while wearing a maid outfit. As Tillis noted, Snow doesn’t seem as sharp as usual. Could it be that she’s holding back, knowing I’m here to break Viper out? In order to save myself, I hand the optical camo to Viper. “This is an item that makes you invisible. I’m going to save my maid self. Use that to escape through the gate.” “I-I’ll go and ask Princess Tillis to delay the execution for a bit! So please…” Viper may say that, but Tillis is a true ruler at heart. I can’t imagine she’ll pity Viper enough to delay the execution given that her kingdom’s authority is on the line. I take out my mask and put it back on, then run over to the other me. “This is as far as you go!” “What the—? Reinforcements?!” As I appear and block the knights in, a murmur of confusion ripples through their group. “Hey, me, the mission’s complete. Let’s get the hell outta here.” But the burly maid only shakes his head. He puts his hand on his mask and— “Y-you! You’re Sir Combat Agent Ten! Someone, check on the Demon Lord! Sir Ten is a decoy! Forget about him! Restrain the new guy and hurry to the dungeon! Securing the Demon Lord is our top priority!” As Ten reveals himself, sweat beads on Tillis’s brow, and she slowly backs away. Ignoring the watchful gaze of the knights, Ten slowly makes his way to Tillis. “I have something I still need to do. Move.” “B-but this is the way to my room… May I ask what you intend to do…?” Tillis is clearly still bit traumatized by Ten’s past actions and continues to nervously retreat.
Chapter 64
39 min read