CHAPTER 2 It’s Usually the Boss’s Fault 1 We’re finally back at the base. I take Heine, who’s been loafing around, out to the construction site for our future city. “…I don’t know how else to say this, but you people really are several kinds of ridiculous…” Seeing the Combat Agents busy themselves with work on infrastructure and buildings, Heine’s been in a state of mild shock ever since. Thanks to the special materials, which are light, durable, and fireproof, the buildings are going up at a steady rate. The various types of construction equipment scared her at first, but when she saw the countless pieces of heavy machinery working to move building materials, Heine could only stare with her mouth agape. The Combat Agents looked smug upon witnessing Heine’s expression. Yeah, I get it. This is the sort of reaction I’ve been dying to see, too. Using Earth’s modern devices to completely redefine a primitive planet’s idea of technology. That’s what I really wanted to use my Evil Points for. My original plan was to be an exemplary Combat Agent and use them to summon some crazy-advanced weapons in the heat of battle, but I’d say blowing the locals’ minds with high-tech construction equipment is a close second. “This is our true power. You guys are lucky the war ended before I showed off what I’m really capable of…” Hearing me wax sentimental, Heine lets out a note of surprise. “When we first met, it looked like you were struggling…” “Okay, next, I’ll take you to the residential district. You really are in luck, having me, the boss, show you around. There’s nothing wrong with getting in my good graces while you can.” After I completely ignore her comment, Heine shoots me a skeptical look. “S-so should the boss really be spending all his time giving me a tour, then? Aren’t you busy? I don’t particularly mind if someone else…” “Don’t be stupid. Look at the lascivious stares those men are directing your way. Think about the situation you’re in. They’re not bothering you because you’re tagging along with me, the strongest and most important one here. I’m doing you a favor!” Overhearing our conversation, the working Combat Agents shoot me nasty glares. “The hell, man?! Don’t fill the rookie’s head with lies!” “You’re being put on guide duty because you can’t operate heavy machinery for shit! Besides, Alice is in charge around here, and Tiger Man is the strongest agent!” The foulmouthed Combat Agents all pause their tasks just to yell at me. “Considering the only thing you’re good for is fighting, you’re in no position to talk shit!” “Oh, shut up! Who cares about a bunch of third-rate losers with double-digit designations?! I’ve served longer than all of you, so you damn well better respect me! Besides, I’m smarter than the lot of you combined, you dumbasses!” With that, the lackeys’ expressions turn dark. And then— “Hey, looks like Six is hungry for an ass-kicking! He’s filling his squad with women like he’s trying to put together a harem or something!” “All you’re good for is being Lady Astaroth’s arm candy! How about you get your ass back to Earth and suck up to the Supreme Leaders some more, huh?!” “Useless asshole! Don’t act like you’re some big-shot senior agent just because you’ve been around a little longer!” The bottom-feeders step away their heavy machinery, faces red with anger like they’re ready to pounce. I crack my knuckles and get ready to show them why I’m the top dog around here. “Oh yeah? Bring it on, chumps! I’ll knock some sense into all of ya!” “Hey, stop that! Aren’t you guys supposed to be on the same side?! How can you go from friendly to fighting in the blink of an eye? You’re even more bloodthirsty than demons!” Having shown the rank-and-file Combat Agents who’s boss, I’ve escorted Heine over to the residential district. “Hey, are you sure you’re okay…? They really did a number on you…” “Meh, that sort of thing is just part of our daily routine. Also, saying they did a number on me makes it sound like I lost, so please phrase it differently.” My recovery enhancements will have me healed up in no time, meaning their attacks didn’t do any lasting damage. So if you ask me, I didn’t lose. But Heine looks shocked by my words and stares at me. “They were taking turns beating on you, and I’m pretty sure I heard you apologizing. I don’t think you can spin that into anything other than a loss…” “Nah, I was just pretending to surrender. Like a tactical retreat or whatever. So long as I make sure to hunt them down and ambush them one by one later, I’ll still be the winner.” For some reason, Heine shrinks away after hearing my brilliant plan. I then lead the troubled Heine to the dorms built in the residential district, open the door, and— “This is where you’ll be living… Oh hey, it’s the Demon Lord.” —on the first floor of the dorms, we run into Viper buried in paperwork in the corner of the lobby. 2 Previously, at the Demon Lord’s Castle’s underground facilities. Hearing Viper’s request to be executed, Heine drops her gaze inside her cell. “Um… What’re you talking about? Aren’t you technically the Demon Lord right now? You’re a really important person. I’m pretty sure the demons are gonna be in a bind if you suddenly kick the bucket.” Seeing I’m clearly not a fan of her death wish, Viper gives me a gentle smile as if to reassure me that she’s not simply being self-destructive. “I have already ordered Camille, my lady-in-waiting, to take the demons to the allied kingdom of Toris. Our alliance negotiations had included terms of that sort… However, in the event that they’re denied entry by Toris, I do have one request.” Viper, looking every bit the ruler, fixes her gaze on me. “I’m told by our scouts that you’re currently settling the Cursed Forest and building a city there. Perhaps you could use laborers? I know it’s presumptuous of me to ask, but the soil in the demon territory can no longer grow crops, and we’re now out of water. If you can guarantee them the minimum amount of safety, I have no doubt they’ll be happy to live and work in your city.” Alice and I exchange looks at the unexpected proposal. “<What do we do, Alice? She’s offering to give us the residents of her country. But isn’t the whole point of invading and settling this planet to make room for people from Earth to live here?>” “<We won’t be migrating anyone from Earth until we’ve done more surveying. We haven’t researched yet all the planet’s viruses. It would be less than ideal if we moved people here only to have them die from some mystery ailment… Still, we should be the most hated enemy for the Demon Lord’s Army. We killed their previous Demon Lord, after all. I’m not sure why they’d even wanna come work for us.>” Viper probably realized we’re using our own language to communicate after listening to several of our conversations in Japanese. She shows no sign of unease, waiting with a serious expression until our discussion is over. “I gotta ask you something, Ms. Demon Lord. Why us instead of the kingdom of Grace? I mean, we’re the ones who…you know…offed the last Demon Lord. And we’re an evil organization, so…” “Concerning my father, I don’t believe it was a matter in which you had any choice. After all, we were the ones who started the invasion, so we have no right to complain. As for why I’d like my people to be settled in your city, Mr. Six, well… I’ve heard beastfolk are treated quite well in your organization. Orcs are treated as livestock in Grace, so I believe your city would be a better choice…” Beastfolk? What’s she talking about? I don’t think Rose counts as “beastfolk” or whatever. …Oh! I guess she means people like Tiger Man! Well, I suppose he looks closer to a demon than a human, but he’s just a mutant who was made through surgical enhancement. He’s technically not a beast man. “…What do you think, Alice? Sounds like a pretty sweet deal to me.” I mean, I’ve heard there are quite a few attractive races among the demons like succubi and vampires. Yep, I remember what Heine said way back when. I haven’t forgotten what she offered me that time she tried to recruit me into the Demon Lord’s Army. “No objections on my part. We’re short on labor at the moment. Besides, we came here to negotiate at an advantage. An unconditional surrender is way better than we bargained for. That just leaves the question of reparations for the Grace Kingdom…” Viper looks a bit reassured at the exchange between Alice and me. “I’m afraid this castle now only has a small quantity of treasure, as well as the mystery facilities. I’m quite certain that’s not enough to serve as reparations. Instead, as Demon Lord, I’ll offer my life and body as recompense.” Well, her life is one thing, but her body… Wait, no, that’s not the important thing right now. “As mentioned earlier, my public execution will no doubt help quell the rage of the victims. Of course, I understand it’s not enough. As for the rest, it may be depleted, but they may have the entirety of the demon territory. So please… Can you please save my people…?” She looks straight at us with an expression prepared to face even death. Oh no, she’s serious. I’ve gotten so used to dealing with unserious people on a daily basis that I can’t help but be put on the back foot dealing with someone this sincere. I mean, Snow’s gone quiet, intimidated by Viper’s commitment. As for Rose… Dammit, I don’t know what the hell she’s thinking, but she’s taking a nap in the room she wandered into. Why the hell is she sleeping in enemy territory? I don’t understand what’s going on! And just as I start to panic… …Heine raises her voice from inside her cell in Viper’s defense. “Okay, I get it! If that’s not enough, you can do whatever you want with me, too! So please…” “Well said! Given how many times we’ve fought, I just don’t feel that guilty about doing things to you for some reason, Heine.” Right as I give an immediate answer to Heine’s exclamation, I see the color drain from her face. “H-hang on, Six. I mean, we’ve known each other a while… C’mon, you know I had to say that as a member of the Elite Four. It’d be a problem otherwise…” …Just then, Alice starts nodding intently and speaks up. “As expected of the boss of an industry rival. Self-destructing is one of evil’s most coveted exit strategies, after all. Well said.” Alice is bubbling with glee. Why is she impressed by Viper’s statement? And, um, I don’t think this is quite the same as self-destructing. “For now, we’ll figure out what to do with you after we take you back to our hideout. We’ll take temporary custody of you and Heine. Leave the negotiations with the kingdom of Grace to me. If you’re moving to our city, at the very least, I’ll guarantee the lives of your people.” Hearing Alice’s confident statement, Viper lets out a sigh of relief. She looks as though a great weight has just been lifted off her shoulders. Alice spends a while studying Viper’s reaction. “…And welcome to the Kisaragi Corporation. It might be a short stint, but try to enjoy yourself. We’re always happy to add a high-level evildoer like a Demon Lord to our ranks.” With that, she smiles cheerfully at Viper. 3 After yesterday’s exchange, we returned to the buggy, where Grimm, seemingly incapable of unlocking a car door, was tearfully pounding on the windows. We got back to the hideout with Grimm complaining all the way, first about waking up in some random place, then about the fact that there’s more women all of a sudden, but anyway— “Hey, Demon Lord, what are you up to this morning?” As I approach her with Heine in tow, Viper looks up from her pile of paperwork. “Good morning, Mr. Six. When I asked Ms. Alice if there was anything I could do while waiting to learn my fate, she gave me all this…” …Wait, so she voluntarily looked for work because she had nothing to do? We’re currently discussing Viper’s fate with the kingdom of Grace. For the kingdom’s part, they can’t just pin all the blame on the deceased previous Demon Lord and let bygones be bygones. In the worst-case scenario, they might just demand Viper’s life as payment. I don’t really think she needs to be looking for work to do under these circumstances, but I guess she’s a diligent girl at heart. I glance over at the stack of papers to see what she’s doing, but because they’re in this planet’s language, I can’t make heads or tails of it. “What’re you working on?” “Oh, this concerns the allocation of materials to the construction site and where to assign laborers, along with the schedule and—” I hold up a hand and cut off Viper mid-sentence. “I got it. If there’s something you don’t understand, make sure you ask for help.” I say this with the air of a dependable superior, and in response, Viper picks up a sheet from the stack. “Oh… In that case, I wanted to ask about this subject…” “Sorry, Demon Lord, I’m a little busy right now. Ask someone else.” “Y-you’re such a…” …As Heine directs an exasperated gaze in my direction, Viper, having put the document back, asks a bit shyly: “Um… Mr. Six, since I’ve surrendered to the Grace Kingdom, I’m no longer the Demon Lord. So…if you could please call me by my name…” Viper then looks up at me, but I can’t help but notice Heine glaring daggers at me. “You do know she’s my leader as well as the former Demon Lord, right? Don’t you dare disrespect her…,” says Heine in a threatening whisper. I guess embarrassing nicknames are out… “All right, then ‘Vi’ it is!” “That’s it, I’m kicking your ass!” While Heine breathes fire, for her part, Viper smiles gently as though to say she doesn’t mind. “Lady Viper, you may be a prisoner, but you’re still allowed to get mad, you know. If you don’t, he’ll just keep trying to push his luck.” “I truly don’t mind how I’m addressed. But let’s move on for now. Heine, have you been given a job?” In sharp contrast to the short-tempered Heine, Viper smiles rather serenely. “So, Vi, the thing is…Alice had her try a whole bunch of stuff, but it turns out all she’s good at is fighting…” “H-hey…! It’s not like you can do anything other than fight, either! L-let me explain, Lady Viper. I tried to help with the construction, but their tools are weird and…” As Heine desperately tries to explain… …Squeak…squeak… The sounds of a moving wheelchair filter into the room. Eventually, the front door to the dorms cracks open, and a pair of eyes eerily peer in… What is this, a horror movie? “Hey, Grimm, come in already. You’re creeping me out. If you stay over there, I’m gonna throw salt and try to exorcise you.” Suddenly, the door flies open to reveal a cranky-looking Grimm. I guess she really didn’t want salt in her eyes. “…You seem to be enjoying yourself, hanging out with a former enemy and some girl you met just yesterday. Sigh, Commander, you’re always so forgiving when it comes to women…” Grimm’s being her usual needy self, wheeling herself near Heine and shooting her a venomous grin. “It’s been a while, Heine of the Flames, pillar of the Demon Lord’s Elite Four. To think that you, our former foe, would end up as the commander’s concubine…” “Now wait just a minute! You take that back…” A vein on Heine’s forehead twitches at the comment, and Grimm backs away, clearly intimidated. …But the moment she notices Heine isn’t in possession of a sorcerer stone, she takes an aggressive stance. “Oh, hush. With your abilities stripped away, you’re nothing to be afraid of! I can’t believe you took advantage of the fact that I was stuck inside the buggy to seduce the commander! Have some shame, you home-wrecker!” “I honestly didn’t expect anyone to call me a home-wrecker…! I didn’t seduce him or steal him away! I was forced into being his slave!” Ignoring the dramatization of Angry Wife versus Jealous Mistress, I call over to Viper. “Vi, Vi, it’s loud in here with those two arguing! Let’s go play outside.” “Huh…? B-but…I have a lot of paperwork to do…” Ordinarily, she shouldn’t have to do anything until a decision has been made regarding her fate, but I guess she’s conscientious to a fault. She’s oddly reluctant to abandon her work. “Hold on! Commander, I just heard you call her Vi! When did you two get so close?!” “I agree with this gloomy curse-woman! Stop calling her Vi!” As Viper responds with a forced smile, Grimm puffs out her cheeks. “I mean, I’ve known you longer! I deserve a pet name, too!” “…Okay, that’s asking for too much. You’re a little too old for that.” Grimm takes out a doll and readies a curse, so I grab Heine and hold her in front of me as a shield. “Hey, quit it! If you’re going to bicker, do it outside! Why do I have to get dragged into this?!” The fact that I grab Heine tighter to keep her from escaping sends Grimm into an absolute frenzy. “How dare you flirt in front of me, you home-wrecker!” “How the hell does this register as flirting to you?! Is something wrong with your head?!” Just then. “Um, Ms. Grimm…was it? I apologize on Heine’s behalf. If you’re going to curse someone, please curse me. I’ll endure any curse intended for her.” “Er…” Ever the martyr, Viper steps in front of Heine to shield her. Grimm lets out a yelp of surprise, while Viper deeply bows her head. “I understand. You need not explain your motives. I know you have reasons to hate Heine for killing many of the Grace Kingdom’s soldiers. That is why you’ve been picking a fight with her, is it not? Please use me to take your revenge for the fallen.” “Lady Viper, I doubt this witch is thinking that deeply about this. Her reasons aren’t that noble.” Viper’s earnest plea succeeds in making Grimm uncomfortable. “Commander, isn’t this girl the Demon Lord? This is starting to make me feel like the bad one.” “Since you’re the one picking fights at random, I’m pretty sure that does make you the bad one.” Shocked by my statement, Grimm takes a moment to collect herself before giving Viper a warm smile. “I did come here to pay you back for all my comrades who fell on the battlefield, but I’m over that now. Rankis, who always seemed to stare intently at me as I napped in the middle of the training grounds… Oz, who seemed to have a thing for me and would always kindly push my wheelchair away, telling me I was getting in the way of training… Jed, who eagerly pounced on our fateful meeting by accidentally stepping on a handkerchief I’d dropped and then came sobbing to me begging not to be cursed and promising he would wash it… Heh, the men who I could have had futures with all died before me…” “Y-you have my sincere…” “Look, you gotta stop claiming any man who looks your way is interested in you. It’s becoming a problem. Just think about how embarrassing it is for me walking next to you.” After I interrupt Viper’s attempt to apologize for Grimm’s monologue, Heine chimes in. “So, um, is everyone in your squad like this? I took you guys pretty seriously when we fought. This just makes me feel stupid for considering you my rival…” H-hey, at the very least, I was taking the fighting seriously, too…! The clock strikes ten AM. Grimm declared she was going to nap until evening, and Heine and I sat watching over Viper as she did paperwork. A short while later, Alice wandered in carrying a big stack of papers. “…Here’s some more work for you, Viper. And what’re you two up to?” “As the head of this hideout, I’ve been keeping an eye on Vi.” “I’m making sure Six doesn’t do anything weird to Lady Viper.” “So you were getting in her way. Look, unlike you two, Viper is good at her job. Here, you can have the game console Lady Lilith left behind. Go play with it over there, Six.” I take the handheld console from Alice and plop down on a sofa. “Ha, getting yelled at by a brat! If you want to avoid that in the future, stop bugging Lady Viper! Unlike you and I, Lady Viper’s received the highest-quality education to be worthy of the throne. Which is why she’s perfectly capable of governing a city!” Heine puffs out her chest as though Viper’s accomplishments are her own, and Alice retorts: “Don’t think you’re not part of the problem, either. Now come with me. I’ve figured out your new workplace.” Heine insults me as she looks back and forth between Viper and me. “Huh?! W-wait, I want to be with Lady Viper…! It’s really risky to leave her alone with this bastard!” “I’m a proper gentleman. I have enough restraint to delicately toe the line with people who really want me to leave them alone.” “The whole point is that you shouldn’t be doing anything at all! So, Alice, what’s my job going to be? Is helping Lady Viper not good enough?!” Reluctant to leave us, Heine keeps the complaints coming. “Oh, relax. You’ll be working in a comfortable, welcoming environment and doing important work that makes use of your talents.” “What do you mean, my ‘talents’?! Are you going to make me do perverted things similar to what Six is constantly subjecting me to?! Am I cursed to wind up in those situations whenever I run into you guys?!” As Heine whines with tears in her eyes, I grow increasingly curious about where she’s going to be assigned. “Well, if you’d prefer that sort of work, I guess we can make that happen. But our Combat Agents are all talk and no action. They don’t have the balls to follow through on anything they say to the women they harass. Besides, in our company, we may be lenient with untoward advances to a certain extent, but actual sexual assault is subject to punishment.” “R-really?! You’re serious?! I can really trust you, right?” As if gaining a measure of hope from Alice’s words, Heine asks for confirmation again and again. This is Alice we’re talking about. I’m almost positive she found a better use for Heine than base perversions. As the loud one is led away by Alice, the only sound left in the dorm lobby is that of Viper turning pages and running her pen over paper. I turn on the game console so I can focus on that instead of interrupting Viper’s work. “No, you’ve already gone down this hallway! It’s a dead end! Oh, oh, there’s a monster following you from behind!” “But this is the only hallway left! You sure there wasn’t a puzzle on the way here?! Dammit, the monster’s in the way!” The game Lilith had been playing is pretty hard, and because I’ve died so many times, it didn’t take long for me to ask Viper for help… “Mr. Six, I caught a glimpse of a red button next to one of the torches!” Peering into the small screen from next to me, Viper points at the torch in question. “Oh, you’re right! Good work, Vi! …Dammit…! Hey, that killed me! This was a switch to a trap door! What now, Vi, what now?!” “S-s-sorry, I’m so sorry! That’s my fault; I’ll take full responsibility!”
Chapter 58
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