And you wanna know why? Because I was her big sister, and that’s what being a big sister was all about.
“Oneechan?” my sister prompted.
“Yeah,” I said. I nodded. “Yeah!”
“What’re you ‘yeah’ing about?”
“I’m your big sister, remember?”
“Um, what?” my sister said.
She may have been taller than me, and she may have been so mature it was hard to tell which one of us was older. But she was still my little sister. And that meant it wasn’t about the right or wrong answers—so long as I did what my heart told me to.
“And that means,” I told her, “that no matter what happens, I always have your back. That’s what being a big sister is all about.”
Her eyes widened. “What the heck? That’s rich, coming from you.” She smirked at me in a condescending sort of way.
I turned, and I left her room. I dropped off my bag and pulled out my phone. Hand on my chest. Deep breaths, Renako. I prayed to god—not any god I knew, but a completely unfamiliar one. I didn’t even know what to call them. But I did know that this same god probably looked a lot like someone in the Quintet.
It took a few days, but the recipient of my message showed up at the train station one evening with a frown on her face.
“Not again,” she said—she being my little sister’s classmate that I’d met a couple days prior. Seira-san. I had a burning question for her.
“Sorry about all the trouble,” I said. “But thanks for agreeing to meet me.”
Seira-san didn’t say anything for a moment. Then she grumbled, “This is about Haruna, isn’t it?”
“Well, yeah. But…” I was a little confused. Seira-san, like a lot of junior high schoolers, wore casual clothing when she was out and about. But what was with the apron? “What’s the deal with those clothes?”
“Hm? Oh, this?” What, like she hadn’t noticed? She hurried to cover her chest with her hands. “I-I was just, uh! Doing chores!”
I saw the logo for a dry-cleaning company peeking through her fingers. Uh?
“You do chores for Onigawara Cleaners?” I asked.
“Ack!” She grimaced like I’d just waved her least favorite food under her nose. “Well. Yes.”
Suddenly, she glared at me with all her might. “What’s that for?!” I spluttered.
“What, you got a problem with it? It’s literally right there in my name: Onigawara Seira! O-Ni-Ga-Wa-Ra! Yeah, I’ve heard all the jokes a billion times. I know it means butt-ugly. Get all the laughter out of your system!”
“I’m not laughing!”
I shook my head as she practically lunged for my throat. Believe me, I knew laughing at someone’s name topped the no-no list of rude comments. And since I was older, it was on me to make Seira-san feel better.
“I think it’s cute!” I said. “It describes you perfectly.”
“Do you really wanna catch these hands?”
“No! I just. Um. Look, oni are cute. Yeah, totally! You know that story about the sad red oni, right? That’s a sweet tale about friendship. And uh… Oh, there’s Kibutsuji Muzan. The guy from Demon Slayer? He’s an oni, and the whole internet loves him!”
“If you’re going to bring up fictional examples, Nezuko’s right there!”
Agh. I was trying to make her feel better, but I was only making her think worse of me. My conversational skills were seriously hot garbo.
“Well, is that all you had to say?!” Seira-san spat. “Can I go home already?”
“Sorry, um, I still have the stuff I need to ask you…”
She groaned with such force it could have wrung out a sopping bath towel in two seconds. “I don’t want to talk about her. I think you’re cutting her too much slack just because she’s your family.”
“I mean, maybe,” I said. “That’s possible.” I didn’t know how to word it properly, so I decided to just word-vomit my feelings. “See, the thing is, I want to trust Haruna.”
Seira-san huffed, clearly annoyed at me. “What, you think I’m lying?”
“No.” I looked down. “I don’t think trust is black or white. Like it’s something you do or don’t do. I just think that Haruna must have her own reasons.” I knew my sister, and I knew she wouldn’t punch someone unprompted. “I know that if I did something wrong, I’d want to own up to it. And find a way to get past it, you know? So it’s like, if I take all of that into account, I think I trust Haruna.”
Seira-san frowned. “I’m not following. Like, I get that life’s complex, but that doesn’t change the fact that she hit someone.”
“Yeah.” It didn’t. In the end, I could only be responsible for me—not anyone else. I couldn’t expect that sentiment or my feelings for my family to perfectly extend to other people.
I looked down at the ground and the shoes I had bought just the other day. By now, they were well broken in. Had dirt and stuff on ’em too. I remembered the sensation, the body warmth, of my sister as she carried me home that day.
Seira-san sighed once again like she was giving up. “Yeah, sorry. I don’t get it. Let’s just move on—do you need anything else?”
“Seira-san.” I lifted my head. “Are you happy with this?”
“Happy with what? Look, I feel like you’re just trying to use me, and I’m getting kinda pissed. But I mean…” She folded her arms across her apron. “Just for you, Oneesan-senpai. Haruna’s self-centered and keeps trying to use other people to make herself look good…but at the end of the day, she used to be a friend. So.”
“Okay.” I bowed very deeply. “Thank you so much, Seira-san.”
Why the thank you? Because she was Haruna’s friend. Maybe it wasn’t my place to say, since Haruna had done the work making friends, but yeah. I felt grateful.
“But you better tell Oduka-san I said hi!” Seira-san reminded me, her hands on her hips in defiance. She reminded me so much of Kaho-chan I couldn’t help but grin.
“Yeah, I will.” Then I decided to tell her up front. “Seira-san, I want to…”
Once she heard me out, Seira-san stared back at me in dumbfounded shock. “Are you for real? You haven’t, like, lost your mind?”
“My mind’s still here, last I checked.” Well, maybe. I wasn’t a hundred percent sure of that.
I felt like I’d screwed up big time, like if I broke a school window in some place no one was going to notice immediately. I could have acted like nothing happened, but that seemed cowardly to me. Therefore, I tried as hard as I could to make full eye contact with Seira-san.
She was quiet for a moment, and then she pulled out her phone. “Fine,” she said. “But you know, she’s gonna see you as the big sis of her assailant.”
I gulped. Her way of wording it made me freeze, but I’d come too far to chicken out. After all, I promised to always have my sister’s back.
“Please, Seira-san,” I said. “Help me meet up with Minato-san.”