“I really care about you, and I know you care about me! That’s why I promised I’d try my best for you. It’s just…that kiss reaffirmed that I kinda need to get my shit together. It’s a lot of pressure. Do you know what I’m saying?”
“I guess so. Well, as long as my message got through…I suppose it’s fine.”
Her smile switched on, and oh my god, it was so darn cute.
“You know,” she continued, “you can always tell me if something’s bothering you. Doesn’t have to be a big thing either. I know you like learning about me, but you’re not the only one who feels that way, Rena-chan.”
“O-okay…”
So she said, but I mean… Ajisai-san was one thing, but we were talking about me. Me, volunteer all the things I hated about myself to my crush? Fat chance of that. Talk about attention-seeking behavior.
That’s exactly why I was trying to work as hard as I possibly could. But then, if I ran into a situation where I was well and truly up a creek without a paddle… Like the time when I got sick and was no help to anyone… Well, then there was only one thing to do.
“…I…I’ll lean on you when I need to,” I admitted. “I guess.”
“Great. Thanks.”
Relief broke out across her face in the form of a smile. But then, she raised one of her fingers and started to give me a lecture.
“Oh, but if you don’t feel comfortable telling me, you can always talk to Mai-chan. She seems easier to talk to in general.”
“Wait, what? What makes you think that?”
“Oh, y’know. Just kinda…vibes.” Ajisai-san’s tone suggested there was no hidden meaning, but those two sentences were nothing but hidden meaning. I recoiled big time.
“No way! Mai and I are both so wrapped up in trying to respect each other’s boundaries that we can’t be open with each other about, like, anything. I literally never know how I’m supposed to act with her. And that’s not a good thing. You’re objectively way easier to talk to!”
“Gosh, you think?” She looked like she didn’t believe me for one second. Don’t give me that look, Ajisai-san! Then she nodded, brought her hands together, and smiled at me like an angel. “Well, I’ll believe it when you drop the ‘-san.’ Just like you do for Mai-chan.”
“…Wait, what?”
I goggled at her. I felt like my whole world had shifted. Like my hair dryer had started talking in the middle of using it. Like the planet of the apes had turned out to be Earth all along.
“Your name? With no honorific?”
“Y-yeah, I guess.”
I stared at her, dumbfounded, for several seconds—and then shook my head. “I’m sorry, Ajisai-san. But there’s no freaking way I can do that.”
“Oh, don’t be like that.”
“Just like elephants can’t fly, I physically can’t drop the honorific from your name.”
“Physically?” She looked alarmed, even though this thesis was formed on the logic of biological fact. “W-well, okay… Sorry, I, uh. I didn’t know it’d be such a big deal.”
“Yeah, well, it is,” I said, folding my arms. “Some things just should not be mentioned, even by you, Ajisai-san. And dropping the honorific on your name is one of them.”
In a defeated whisper, Ajisai-san said, “Oh… Okay…”
I refused to budge on this, thank you very much. Remember that time when I called her Ajisai-chan for a little sister roleplay? That was only a game, and it still almost killed me.
Ajisai-san tried to dispel the awkwardness. “Now that you mention it,” she said in a chipper tone, “I don’t know how I feel about dropping the honorific on your name either.”
“Really? I’m cool with you dropping it.”
Ajisai-san looked me right in the eyes and gave me her best big sisterly smile. “Renako?”
I flipped out. I would’ve appreciated a heads-up.
Ajisai-san extended her hand across the tabletop, still looking me square in the eye. “Want to hold hands, Renako?”
“Hrrgh.”
Never had I felt such acute, overwhelming embarrassment. I was not worthy of such affection from this celestial being! It was bad enough when there was a café table between us. If she had whispered that in my ear when we were alone, the contents of my stomach would have made a guest appearance.
“A-Ajisai-san…” I groaned.
“Come on, Renako.”
Her hand inched closer, begging me to take it. And then, the instant before my fingers touched her palm, she pulled hers back and giggled, her face an embarrassed red.
“Y-yeah, never mind. That’s too embarrassing, huh, Rena-chan?” she said.
“T-totally.”
On the outside, I gave her an embarrassed smile in return. On the inside, I heaved an enormous sigh of relief.
Oh! My! God! I really, really liked this girl! She was so, so! Mrrgh! So darn cute! God, I just freakin—gah! I liked her so much!
Kaho-chan came back from the bathroom while Ajisai-san and I were still playing blushing virgins with each other. She stopped dead in front of our table and, in a low voice, said, “Oh, some shit went down, huh?”
“Hm?” I broke out of my funk and looked up.
And. Kaho-chan. Sat. In. Ajisai-san’s. Lap.
I exploded. “Wh-wh-what?!”
Sure, girls sat on each other’s laps in class sometimes. Like as part of a bit, you know. But we were in public, and Kaho-chan was sitting in the lap of one of the Seven Wonders of the World. E-even I hadn’t gotten that privilege!
Even the vilest of rogues would have been aghast at such atrocious, uncouth behavior, so I had no doubt that Ajisai-san was most vexed. Yet all she said was, “Whoa, where’d this come from?”
“Dunno. Just kinda went with the vibes!”
Not the vibes again! Did she think that excuse was going to fly in the real world? And how come Ajisai-san didn’t mind one iota? Hello?!
“By the way,” Ajisai-san said, “do you mind if we pop by the stationery store? I forgot to pick up some things for the kiddos.”
“Nah, ’course not,” said Kaho-chan.
“How the heck are you two just carrying on a normal conversation?!” I demanded.
“Huh?” Ajisai-san’s eyes widened. Yes, yes, very cute. But I wouldn’t let her cute her way out of this.
“She’s literally sitting on your lap! What is going on here? Am I the only one who can see this or what?”
“Why’re you losin’ your mind over this, Rena-chin?” Kaho-chan asked. “I sit on her lap all the time.”
“You do?!”
Kaho-chan positioned Ajisai-san’s arms around her waist like a seat belt. Basically, she made it look like Ajisai-san was hugging her from behind. Um, rude?! Knock it off!
“Stop treating Ajisai-san like she’s your personal property,” I said.
“Whatcha talkin’ about, Rena-chin? I’m not forcing her. ’Sides, Aa-chan likes it.”
You could be happy to have someone on your lap, but that was for like…babies and pets and stuff. “That is some grade-A bullsh—”
Kaho-chan wagged a finger at me. “Shh shh shh. Back me up, Aa-chan.” She smiled at Ajisai-san. Their faces were mere centimeters apart.
Ajisai-san blushed slightly and nodded. “Yeah.”
Hello?! Whatever happened to that lovey-dovey thing we had going on just a few minutes ago?
Ajisai-san smiled in a chagrined sort of way, as if her family had caught her eating doughnuts in the middle of the night. “I mean,” she said, “Kaho-chan’s cute.”
I couldn’t argue that, but that wasn’t the point.
“And my little siblings are both boys, you know?” Ajisai-san went on. “They’re cute and all, but they’re boys. So I can’t help but find little girls cute. And she’s little. See? Check out her hands. They’re way smaller than mine. It’s kinda funny, since we’re barely five centimeters apart in height.”
“Aww, you’re gonna make me blush,” Kaho-chan said with a devilish smirk.
They were treating me to a feast of AjiKaho content. I almost couldn’t believe my eyes. But now that I thought about it…I guess I did pick up on some shipworthy vibes between the two of them at school. Which still didn’t excuse this behavior!
“Oh, here comes our cake,” Ajisai-san said. “I’m not sure how I can eat like this.”
“I could feed you,” Kaho-chan suggested.
“That could work!”
I spluttered in outrage. Was this what happened when you combined two touchy-feely girls? They carried on like this was totally normal, but Kaho-chan was getting more Ajisai-san action than I ever did!
Suddenly, Kaho-chan looked over at me. “Whatsa matter, Rena-chin? You jelly?”
“Huh? Me, jealous? No. Not at all. Really!”
“Mm-hmm,” she said, like she didn’t believe me. “I see. Very, very interesting. Makes sense, though! ’Cause Aa-chan’s lap’s reserved just for me.” Her face had all the malevolence of a rich kid who walks into a shop, buys a toy another child has been begging for, and waves it in their face.
“Ohh, you’re gonna get it. I can tell what you’re really thinking!” I told her.
“Huh?” Ajisai-san looked alarmed, and there was a note of apology in her voice. Oh shoot. “I’m sorry, Rena-chan. Is this, uh, out of bounds?”
“Oh. Uh. Well. No. Maybe. Um.”
My mind went blank. Oh, shoot, shoot, shoot. I wasn’t trying to make her feel bad! Darn it, Kaho-chan! I thought. This is all your fault!
“It’s okay, Ajisai-san,” I said. “I know you’re not to blame. Every move you make is just and wise. We mortal men may at times be led astray by our ignorance, but I have full faith that we shall one day find a way to coexist in harmony.”
“Uh, what does that mean exactly?” Ajisai-san asked.
“Rena-chin’s blabbin’ nonsense again.” Kaho-chan stood up and stretched, sounding as detached as an alley cat yawning as it watched humanity plodding off to work and another day running the rat race.
“Anyway,” she added in a perkier tone, “I’m gettin’ up so you can eat.”
“Thanks.”
Kaho-chan returned to her original seat. When I glared at her, she tipped me a cheeky wink. That entire performance was to get under my skin. I just knew it.
She turned back to Ajisai-san and said, “You’re a good big sis, y’know that?”
“Am I really?”
They resumed their ordinary, everyday conversation and began to tuck into their cake. I, meanwhile, was too on edge from what I’d just witnessed.
“You’re literally amazing in every way,” said Kaho-chan. “You always put your little brothers first. You’re kind, you’re pretty, and you’re uber-duber cute. I wish I had a big sis like you.”
Facts.