Prologue
AH, ESTEEMED LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, it is my great pleasure to make your acquaintance. Oh, who am I, you ask? My good sir or madam, you do make me laugh. Tee hee hee. Why, I am none other than Amaori Renako. Charmed, I’m sure.
What a delightfully beautiful day, is it not? Oh, how I do so love life. Such a treasure these November days are, as autumn flees and winter’s icy fingers creep in. On such a fine afternoon, as I walked along the side of the road, metaphorically skipping with glee (for I fear I cannot pull off the real thing), I contemplated my rare fortune.
My dear reader, I hear you asking, “Fortune? What the heck are you talkin’ about?”
Well… (Tee hee hee)
Get this: me ’n Ajisai-san kissed!
A while back, that is. But I was still on cloud nine. I felt like I had found a cheat code to keep my self-esteem stat at max permanently.
Mm-hmm. I paused to smirk at a passing shiba inu out for a walk with its owner. Then I clasped my hands together and begged the powers that be: Can I be post-Ajisai-kiss! Renako forever?
Yeah, whatchu lookin’ at, dog? You jelly?
I stopped to admire an ornamental camellia and gave it a tender smile. You know, shrub, you’re not so bad looking yourself, I thought. But compared to my lovely flower, the apple of my eye, my dear Ajisai-san… Oh, what am I saying? How foolish to even hint you might be equivalent! (Tee hee hee) Sowwy! Ell oh ell!
I twirled and danced down the street, wanting to shout I LOVE YOU, WORLD! the whole way. And then I arrived. At the place. Where. She. Was. Waiting. For. Me.
“Hey, what’s poppin’, Rena-chin? What madeja late?”
She = Kaho-chan, that is. A ticked-off Kaho-chan.
“I expected you ten friggin’ minutes ago!” she snapped. “Not like it’s the end of the world, but you could, like, shoot me a text if you’re running behind, y’know?”
I gave my hair a dramatic flip, flip.
“Omg, I am so sorry. I got a li’l held up saying hi to a doggo and some flowers. You know how it is! You’ll forgive me, right, bestie? …Right, bestie?”
“You got a lotta nerve, punk.”
Kaho-chan’s eyes narrowed intimidatingly. But who cared? Even if Kaho-chan got mad at me, I could still think, Yeah, but Ajisai-san kissed me! and carry on my merry way. Ajisai-san’s kisses were worth the world. Even if I never amounted to anything, I was still guaranteed happiness. For I! Had been kissed! By Ajisai-san!
“Ugh. What are we gonna do with you?” Kaho-chan groaned. Then she turned to the vision of loveliness standing next to her. “Hey, Aa-chan. Back me up here.”
That vision of loveliness—Sena Ajisai-san—said, “R-right, yeah. If you don’t keep us in the loop, we get worried about you. You have to message us. Or else!”
Not the “Or else!” Oh, my bright future! Gone! Ruined! Pulverized!
But! B-b-b-but! But she had kissed me!
Yet a kiss meant nothing. For if she grew to hate me, there went all my chances of any future kisses.
My legs wobbled. I felt the urge to bury my face in my hands. I was utter trash. My stroke of luck had made me lose sight of how lowly I really was. The kiss was a reward for working hard. Not like some log-in bonus I could get by sitting around on my ass. To win another kiss from Ajisai-san, I needed to work harder than I ever had before. And I had forgotten that! The most crucial piece of information! If I stopped working hard, she would dump me, and her kisses would go to someone else entirely. Having aimed for and earned a kiss myself, I knew better than ever how much each was worth.
I wept bitter tears. “I-I’m so sorry. I’m trying, I really am… I’ll do better next time, so please! Don’t ever leave me! I’m trying, I swear! I shwe-e-e-aaar!”
“Wh-whoa, calm down. I’m not even that mad,” said Ajisai-san.
“Girl!” Kaho-chan yelled, so loudly everyone at the entrance of the mall must have heard her. “You’re so friggin’ obnoxious!”
But I was trying not to be! I swear!
On the day our story starts, Kaho-chan, Ajisai-san, and I had plans to go shopping at the mall after school. The teacher held me back to talk, so Kaho-chan and Ajisai-san left without me. I failed to honor the time we agreed upon, wretched cur that I was. And that brings us back to the point where we left off in the narrative.
“It’s no biggie,” Kaho-chan told me. “We still had plenty of time to shop, y’know?”
By now, we were more or less shopped out and sitting in a café. There was a big grin on Kaho-chan’s face as she sipped her cocoa, her shopping bags sitting alongside Ajisai-san’s in one of the baskets the café provided for customers to put their bags in.
Ajisai-san cupped a mug of herbal tea in her hands. She smiled. “The evenings are cooling off really fast this time of year.”
These two girls—Koyanagi Kaho-chan and Sena Ajisai-san—were my classmates. Our friend group (which also included two other girls) was called the Quintet. With a name like that, you’d think we were an idol group, and honestly? That’s how people treated us.
Kaho-chan was a super cute, super outgoing, super tiny girl who always wore her hair in a half-up top knot. She had a perpetual smile as bright as the sun and more people skills than the rest of the group combined. Everyone knew her, and everyone, from the upperclassmen on down, adored her. She was everyone’s little sister. Kaho-chan belonged to a bajillion friend groups, and she claimed she could rack up 999 Line messages in a day. I couldn’t begin to imagine what it was like to live her life, but it seemed fun, if nothing else. But she had a big secret. When she took her contacts out, she slipped out of her bubbly girl cosplay and morphed into an anxious Debbie Downer like me. Strange but true. I thought her shy side was cute, though. I wished she wore her glasses to school every day, because then I could’ve bossed her around for a change!
As for the other girl, Sena Ajisai-san was my gir. Gi. Girlf. A person I cared for quite a bit! She was roughly my height with long, silky locks that ran down her back in light waves. Her smile had the eye-bleach power of two bazillion waddling baby penguins. She was super kind, super cute, super friendly—basically not even human. She was the angel of Ashigaya High. Unlike Kaho-chan, who was nosy as all heck, Ajisai-san was a lot more passive. She was happy to talk about whatever you suggested, which was why I stuck to her like glue. Ajisai-san was my life-supporting spacesuit in the vacuum of space called school. High school social custom demanded you buy juice for someone who does you a favor. Had I followed that law, I would have drowned her house in orange juice. Same with Kaho-chan’s, honestly.
Oh yeah, and I should mention that this beautiful, flawless being known as Ajisai-san was going out with me. I’d been her biggest fangirl from day one. And now she was dating me. It made zero sense, but who was I to question good fortune? Speaking of fortune, she had even kissed me the other day. Heh heh heh…
I think that was her first kiss too, which meant I was responsible for her for life. Oof. Tall order. I didn’t think I was cut out for that. Facing that same possibility with Satsuki-san almost killed me, so I was pretending with all my might that I Did Not See It. It made me feel nauseous.
“I’m so sorry, Ajisai-san…” I whimpered.
“What are you apologizing for? It’s perfectly okay. Just let us know next time if you’re going to be late. I’m sorry. I was probably too harsh earlier.”
Ajisai-san bowed to apologize for that dread “Or else!” A wave of guilt washed over me.
I mean…if I wasn’t in the picture, some prince or princess would’ve come along and fallen in love with her at first sight. At some ball or something. Then she would’ve married into the royal family; become a princess beloved the world over; and dedicated her life to politics, diplomacy, world peace, and all that crap. She would’ve had the happiest life on the planet. And I’d robbed her of that. Me! My sole aspiration was to be nothing more than an ordinary, boring, cookie-cutter model of a teenage girl. Me! Oh, I was a sinner and a criminal.
“Rena-chin’s mopin’ again,” Kaho-chan remarked. “Lay off her, Aa-chan.”
“Huh? But I wasn’t trying to be mean…” said Ajisai-san.
“Aa-chan, are you still good on time?”
“Oh, sure. My mom’s watching the kiddos today.”
“Sweet! All righty, lemme see what they got on the menu. Ooh, I might go for some cake.”
“Me too.”
As I listened to Kaho-chan and Ajisai-san twitter away, I took a minute to reboot. I had to remind myself that being the only doom-and-gloomer was a major buzzkill. I could always save it for later, once I was home alone and in bed. Buck up, me! I told myself. Mental reset!
I forced myself to brighten up just in time for Kaho-chan to pass me a menu. “Whatcha gonna get, Rena-chin?” she asked.
“Oh, uh, the chocolate cake looks good.”
“Dope. Hey, ’scuse me!”
Kaho-chan ordered for all three of us and then popped to her feet. “Sorry, gotta run to the restroom!”
“Sure thing.” I waved goodbye.
With her gone, that left just me and Ajisai-san. For some unknown reason, I felt embarrassed.
Ajisai-san looked at me with big, worried eyes. “Uh, Rena-chan…is something bothering you again?”
“Wh-who, me? Pssh, nah,” I said. “It’s nothing. Just, like, I’m so happy it’s scaring me.”
“Oh…I get it. That happens.”
Get a load of this loser, I thought to myself. What the heck am I saying?
“I thought…” Ajisai-san began. She broke off, then continued. “I thought my feelings for you came through, but I guess not.”
“N-no, they did! I promise!”
Ajisai-san pursed her lips (oh, those lips!) in the slightest of pouts, and I rushed to explain myself.