“Your Highness?”
Okay, a lie. I need a good lie—
Then I realized I was wrong for jumping to that thought. Klifford just told me he wanted me to share my troubles with him, and here I was trying to figure out how to deceive him because feelings are hard. What a garbage person thing to do.
Hmm… But ya knowww… How should I even begin to say…?
“Whenever I’m hurting inside…”
My past life was the only thing I had to go off of, so I had to conveniently leave out some details.
“…I’d hug somebody…and they’d hug me back. Then they’d pat my head and tell me everything was going to be okay. So—”
I was about to tell him, So I’m not going to carry my pain with me forever—but then I saw Klifford stand up.
And the next thing I knew, I was in his arms… Er, well, this sort of thing did happen once before, but that was so I could get over that shitty haunting memory—I commanded him to do it! Wait, did I command him to do that?
“Is there a problem with this, Your Highness?”
My mind went blank. It took a while to get the gears of my brain moving again.
Is there a problem with what…? My hand wound? As in, will my hand get hurt from this?
Is it because I told him I’d have somebody hug me? Um, but good sir, I don’t recall the other party ever initiating the aforementioned hug. I always hugged first!
But—
The warmth from Klifford’s arms was so soothing.
I don’t want him to leave.
My feelings betrayed my thoughts.
Maybe it’s okay to let him comfort me for a little while. My wound is not a big deal. So—
“Just for a little while—”
With Klifford draped over me as I sat in my chair, I wrapped my arms around his back.
“We can stay like this.”
I wonder if he’s gonna pat my head, too?
And just like that one day, Klifford’s big hand rested on my head. His movements were clumsy, but gentle—it reminded me of that boy in my dream.
In that sick, twisted dream I had. A dream that would never happen in real life—but whenever I remembered that pacifistic boy who was forced to hold a sword to survive, I couldn’t help but think of Klifford.
I grabbed the fabric of Klifford’s uniform and squeezed tight.
“I had…a strange dream.”
“A dream…you say?”
“Yes. It was about a boy…”
Then I whispered the rest of my dream to Klifford.
He kept his mouth shut and listened through my whole dream. Then he ran his fingers through my hair and said, “That was just a dream—that boy doesn’t exist.”
Not anywhere.
Klifford did exactly as I told him… Actually, he obeyed a little too well. I was starting to feel less like a princess and more like Maki…
He’s spoiling me…and more than a little! I-I’m going to forget how to adult…!
I mean, it’s the way Klifford’s hugging me—that’s what’s to blame! It makes me feel nervous…but also really relaxed at the same time!
And because of that, the room no longer felt cold and empty, but the instant I regained my senses, I was consumed with embarrassment. Klifford was not even slightly to blame. I was the one who had asked him to stay for tea…and now I wanted to chase him out of my room!
I activated the Self Control Magic I had acquired during my years as a princess. Pushing away from Klifford, I cleared my throat and said, “Do forgive me… I’m not usually like this.”
No, hold up—do I always let myself go to pieces like this in front of Klifford?
“You’re seeing a pathetic side of me, yes? I’m starting to worry what you think of me now.”
Aren’t I just the most pathetic Sovereign ever? I always envisioned Sovereigns as cool and majestic. They’ve got their shit together…
“What I think of you…” For some reason, Klifford gave it a serious mulling over.
Um, it’s okay, buddy, don’t think about it!
“What you are to me…”
Klifford’s thinking time lasted much longer than I expected.
But after a good minute, he finally tilted his head to the side and murmured, “A weapon…maybe?”
Er—a weapon? Like, that longsword at his waist?
But—oh! A weapon!
That’s right, I had something to give to him! Perfect timing. I rummaged in my skirt pocket. Good thing I’d transferred it there when I changed back into my own clothes.
My fingers felt… Notepaper, no. Pencil—no. A paper package… There you are!
I took it out and unwrapped it, revealing a custom-made item of fluffy feathers and black luster. It was the sword tassel made of wreven feathers!
“Klifford.” I rose from my chair and presented it to Klifford with both hands. “This is the gift I promised you earlier. Will you affix it to your sword?”
“With pleasure.”
With a reverent bow, Klifford took the wreven feather tassel. He removed the golden tassel that had adorned his sword hilt for the day and replaced it with the feather tassel.
He pulled the sword partly from its sheath and clinked it back in place.
“Don’t you want to pull it out to see what it looks like?”
“As you wish—”
Klifford pulled out his sword and gave it a twirl. The black feathers danced in perfect harmony to the impeccable movements of his sword. From where I was standing, it didn’t seem like the tassel would get in the way when he used the sword for fighting. In fact, the tassel he had before didn’t hold a candle to it!
“I will cherish it always.”
And he wasn’t just saying that to be polite as my bodyguard or my Adjutant—he really did seem to like it.
Urg. I’m not sure why, but I feel lightheaded.
I mean, you know, doesn’t it make you happy to see someone use or wear a present you got them? It’s a giddy-embarrassed sort of feeling.
I guess I need to calm down a little!
“Do you like it?”
I could imagine Klifford promptly answering yes. But it would definitely be a casual yes—
“Yes.” A gentle smile filled Klifford’s eyes as he stared at the wreven feather tassel. He reminded me again of the boy in my dream, even though he had denied any connection. “I love it…”
The boy who hated fighting…
I stood on my toes and reached for Klifford’s head. I rested my palm on his black hair and gave his head a pat.
“Your Highness?” What are you doing? the look in his indigo eyes finished.
I stopped patting his head. But for some reason, I didn’t want to pull my hand away.
Why?
I’ve become so weak…
I don’t know why… It’s a mystery, even to myself.
It was an impulse…or a sudden urge.
“You patted my head…remember? Just returning the favor.”
I moved my hand again.
And since Klifford obediently stood still, I kept patting his head.
Because it’s what I wanted to do.
I wanted to comfort him.
Of course, later, when I regained my sanity, I would scream silently and roll around in my bed awake all night.