We were leaving Lypaed today.
We’d been going to set out a few days earlier, but Elly and Sophia had asked us to do a few things for them before we went, so in the end we waited until their next day off.
Everyone was going to come see us off tomorrow, but Master secretly changed our plans and decided we’d leave today instead.
“I know we should say good-bye in person,” he’d said, “but I just can’t, so I’ll leave letters behind.”
That’s why, ever since yesterday, Master had been writing letters to everyone.
I thought I’d read the letter Gramps had given me one last time, so I sat down on the ground and unfolded the paper.
I’d cried the first time I read it. I just wanted to hear his voice. I wanted to see him again. That was all I could think about.
The second time I read it, I felt like something was off, but I couldn’t figure out what it was. But now that I read it again, I finally understood what was bothering me.
It was Master’s words that made me realize it.
“I know we should say good-bye in person, but I can’t, so I’ll leave letters behind.”
Saying good-bye in person…leaving letters…
Gramps’s letter had come to me from the guildmaster. Why had he given it to Drum in the first place? He was right here with us the whole time, so why go to the trouble of giving it to someone else? A memory flickered through my mind. It was something Gramps told me before:
“These things happen when beastfolk grow old.”
I hadn’t thought anything of it at the time.
…
Once I noticed that single piece of the puzzle, though, all the clues I hadn’t seen before began to fall into place: the reason Gramps left the letter with the guildmaster; the reason why he and Master suddenly sparred; the reason the deadline for the quest had been so vague; the reason Master had spoken to me the way he did when I accepted it; and the real reason behind Gramps’s final request.
Gramps knew exactly how much time he had left.
Master must’ve known, too. I was the only one who hadn’t understood. I hadn’t even realized.
A single teardrop fell onto the paper. Did I even do anything for him at all?
I’d misunderstood everything about that request. Had I ever given Gramps what he truly wished for?
I’m so glad I got to meet him…
But maybe he didn’t feel the same.
I…
“Aaagh…” Grief, anxiety, and regret all rose up inside of me until I felt like I’d scream. I bent forward, trying to hold back the tears.
Suddenly, I felt a warm hand on my back. I didn’t need to turn around to see who it belonged to.
I faced the gravestone and began to speak, pouring out everything inside my heart.
“I—I couldn’t do anything. Maybe Gramps wasn’t happy after all.”
“How did Ragi usually act? Did he look sad or angry?”
“Gramps…was always smiling. He looked like he was having fun.”
A quiet voice seemed to say, “Then that’s your answer.”
I turned to meet Master’s gaze.
“Ragi smiled because you were with him, Alto.”
“Because I was with him?”
“That’s right; because you were there. Or did he write in the letter that he wasn’t happy?”
Tears streamed down my face.
“He…wrote that he was happy.”
“The Gramps you remember and the letter he left behind are telling you the same thing, aren’t they?”
I looked into Master’s eyes and nodded.
Gramps always smiled so brightly. He was always smiling! That was proof that he’d been happy. Even now, the memory of him smiling was enough to wash my doubts away.
“Master, you knew, didn’t you?” I asked, and he nodded clearly. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Maybe I could’ve done more if he’d told me.
“When you take on a quest, you must accept everything that comes with it.”
There was nothing but the truth in Master’s soft words. I had no reply. I was the one who’d chosen to accept the quest. It had been my responsibility.
“Did Gramps know that I didn’t understand what the quest was really about?”
“He knew.”
“Then why didn’t he say anything?”
“Because I asked him not to.”
I didn’t know how to answer that, and Master just stood there, silently watching me.
“What if I’d asked questions back then and checked what the quest was really about? Would you have told me?” I asked.
“Yes. If you’d asked, then I would have told you.”
I wanted to blame Master. Part of me wanted to scream and demand to know why he hadn’t told me. But another part of me felt like that was wrong. And in the end, this had all happened because I wasn’t ready yet.
There was also a part of me that thought maybe I was better off not knowing all this time. Because if I’d known the truth, I wasn’t sure if I would’ve been able to give Gramps a genuine smile.
I fell silent and Master patted me on the back before stepping away. I didn’t follow him. Instead, I stayed there and spoke quietly to Gramps inside my heart, sorting through my emotions.
I’m not sure how long I stayed there, but it felt like I was speaking to him for a really long time.
When I finally ran out of things to say, I got to my feet and forced myself to shake off the urge to stay here. I stood in front of Gramps’s grave and told him I was leaving on a journey. Then, I asked Jackie to take care of Gramps and turned away.
I kept walking and didn’t look back until I reached the gate where Master was waiting for me.
I wondered if he had been standing there the whole time, ever since he’d walked away earlier. He must’ve been. Master had told me he’d cast a barrier over the house Gramps left to me, to keep anyone from going inside.
I felt like Master had changed a little lately. He was still just as warm as ever, but he was acting differently somehow. He never used to rush me before, no matter what I did. He always just stayed right beside me.
But now, when he sensed that I was deep in thought, he quietly slipped away. Yet for some reason, whenever I ended up crying over Gramps again, he was right there without me even realizing it.
I wondered why he didn’t stay with me like he always had before, but I couldn’t bring myself to ask.
“Did you finish your letters, Master?” I asked.
“Isn’t it a little late to be asking that, Alto?”
Our next destination was Sagana.
It was far away from Lypaed, so I thought I’d have plenty of time to chat with Master on the way. It had been a long time since we’d traveled together, just the two of us.
It hurts so much to leave Gramps behind, but at least Jackie will be here with him.
“Let’s go, Master!”
I grabbed him by the hand and took my first step into a new world.