The next morning, Ragi didn’t come downstairs. I wondered if he’d overslept after we’d stayed up chatting the night before. When Alto and I had finished training and I’d made breakfast, I finally went to wake him. At first, I thought he was asleep…but when I went into his room, I found him lying there staring at the ceiling.
“My legs won’t hold me up anymore,” he said softly.
I couldn’t bring myself to answer. Silence fell between us.
“Can you eat?” I finally asked.
“I don’t have an appetite.”
“Beastfolk will grow weak about a week before we pass and gradually lose our mobility. Then a few days before our death, we’ll stop being able to eat.”
I remembered hearing that once, and it came back to me right away.
“Gramps?” Alto poked his head in through the doorway, unable to wait any longer. “Breakfast is ready.”
“Sorry, Alto,” Ragi said gently. “Gramps ate a bit too much yesterday, so I’ll skip breakfast this morning. I also stayed up late chatting with Setsuna, so I’m a bit sleepy.”
Alto glared at us both, his cheeks puffed out. “You two always tell me not to stay up too late!” he said, then stomped back to the living room.
“Sorry to cause you trouble,” Ragi murmured.
“Don’t worry about it,” I said. “More importantly, do you mind?” I stepped closer and laid my hand on his arm, casting a healing spell over him. His complexion was fine, and I detected no injury or illness left in his body, so of course it had no effect.
“Oh, would you look at that. My hangover’s gone,” he said.
I couldn’t help but laugh at the joke.
I knew that the time to say good-bye was drawing near. But now that it was right here in front of me, I felt like tearing open my chest just to rid myself of this pain in my heart. I didn’t want to show those emotions to anyone, though—not Ragi, and not Alto.
The next morning, Ragi still couldn’t get out of bed. Alto was so worried, he refused to leave his side.
“These things happen when beastfolk grow old,” the elderly man explained.
That seemed to satisfy Alto for now, though he still wouldn’t budge from Ragi’s bedside.
Cyrus had just come back from shopping, and he spoke gently as he stepped into the room. “Is there anything else I can do?” I’d already explained everything to him the day I fought Ragi, about how I needed Cyrus to protect Alto and what I’d need from him in the coming days.
“Thanks, but we’re fine for today,” I said.
“Sorry to make you come every day. I know you have your own work to do,” Ragi said. He sounded in discomfort, yet happy at the same time.
“Please don’t worry about it,” Cyrus replied. “Just promise that you’ll spar with me when you’re feeling better.”
He gave me a look as he said it, then slipped out into the hall. I wondered what that was about, so I followed after him. We didn’t speak until we were all the way back in the sitting room, where Cyrus finally stopped and turned to me.
“Yesterday, when I went home, Her Majesty was there. She welcomed me back, and I can’t even begin to tell you how relieved that made me feel. That’s when I realized part of me is hurting over saying good-bye to Ragi more than I thought.”
“…”
“I’ve seen people die before. But I’ve never stayed by the side of someone I’m close to as they died. I didn’t know it could feel so…heavy.” From the way he spoke, I could tell that Cyrus had been carrying the same pain I’d been feeling ever since Ragi had become bedridden. “I think Her Majesty understood, and that’s why she came to say something.”
“Did you tell her you’ve been helping me?”
“No, but she would’ve known. She always knows. I’ve never been the type to stay cooped up at home.”
“That’s probably true; you’re easy to read. I’m sure it was obvious to her.”
“She was worried about you, too,” Cyrus said. “Are you all right?”
“I’m afraid of losing someone who matters so much to me.”
A precious part of my life was disappearing. That wasn’t something that could easily be summed up by “I’m afraid.”
“But it’s better than the shock of hearing about someone you love dying suddenly. So I think staying here and doing as much as I can takes the edge off it a bit.”
My grandfather’s death had been so abrupt. He’d fallen ill and stopped coming to the hospital room where I was. I had believed he would recover any day, but I never got to see him again. I hadn’t even been able to go to his funeral.
His gentle smile, the warmth of his hands, his cheerful voice—all of a sudden, the only place any of those things lived anymore was in my memories.
I know I couldn’t have left the hospital room. Still, I wish I could have seen him just once. I wish I could’ve thanked him.
“I see. If that’s how you feel, then good. But if anything happens, I want you to tell me straight away,” Cyrus said.
“You’ve already done more than enough. You did all the shopping so I didn’t have to leave them, and kept Alto and Ragi company when I needed a break. I’m truly grateful.”
“I’m glad to hear that. All right, then. I’ll go check in on them.”
“Okay.”
Cyrus gave me a sad smile and walked back toward Ragi’s room.
The next morning, Ragi finally woke up at dawn for the first time in a while, and I breathed a long sigh of relief.
“Is there anything you’d like?” I asked gently.
“No, nothing in particular. Have the three of you eaten?”
“Not yet. I was just about to cook something.”
“Would you eat in here with me, if you don’t mind?”
I nodded and stood up, then went to the kitchen. I set a pot of carrot soup on the stove. It was something I’d prepared earlier, just boiled carrots passed through a sieve and blended with milk until smooth. I’d made sure all our meals were easy on the stomach in case Ragi felt like eating.
As I warmed up the soup, Alto came in and pulled a cup from the shelf.
“What do you need?” I asked.
“Gramps said if I brought him water from the well, then he might be able to drink it. So I’m gonna go get some.”
He rushed out the back door. Maybe the soup really was too much for Ragi after all.
By the afternoon, Ragi had drifted back to sleep. He didn’t wake again when evening fell, though his breathing was steady. Cyrus was worried but tried not to show it as he left for the day.
I sat by Ragi’s bed as he slept, took his hand, and let healing magic flow from my palm. I knew it wouldn’t extend his life, but I couldn’t sit here doing nothing.
His hand twitched faintly.
“Set…suna?”
“Sorry. Did I wake you?”
“No…” He turned his face slowly toward me and gave me a weary smile. “You’re here…every time…I open my eyes. But are you…getting enough rest…yourself?”
“I’m getting plenty,” I lied.
He must’ve known I was just saying that, but he just gave me a strained smile and said nothing else.
“Could you wake…Alto…for me?”
…
I let go of Ragi’s hand and gently shook Alto awake. The moment he opened his eyes and saw Ragi smiling at him, he shifted back into his human form. He must have sensed Ragi didn’t have much time left.
“Gramps…,” he said in a trembling voice.
“Alto.” Ragi reached for his hand, and Alto grasped it firmly.
“Alto, Setsuna… I’m so grateful…to have met you both. Spending…these last few months…together…made me so happy…”
“Gramps…” Tears spilled from Alto’s eyes, soaking the back of Ragi’s hand.
…
“The desk…drawer…”
His voice was so faint it was barely audible, and Alto and I responded at the same time. The young boy squeezed Ragi’s hand tightly, as if willing him get better.
“Setsuna… Make sure…you look after Alto…”
“I swear it. I will protect him, even if it costs me my life.”
Ragi managed another tired smile.
“Alto… Stay close to Setsuna. I’ll be watching…to see you grow up…big and strong…”
“I will! I’m gonna get so strong… So strong you won’t even believe it!”
“I can’t wait to see that…”
Ragi closed his eyes and took a deep, steady breath, then opened them again with a happy smile on his face.
“It’s all right, really… Alto, Setsuna… Don’t be so sad. I’m only…taking a little trip…to the Waterside. Even if my body changes…I know…we’ll meet again someday…”
“No! No, I don’t want you to go! Gramps!”
Ragi…
Ragi’s fingers moved slightly, and he looked up to the ceiling, gazing far beyond it. Then, as if offering up a final prayer, he breathed weakly in the beastfolk language, “<May I…be born again…in Sagana…>”
He closed his eyes, then took his final breath.