“Is that another nugget of wisdom from your favorite erotic novels?” “I—I—I said I don’t read them!” Seeing Clarissa get so worked up made Shinichi want to bully her more, but he managed to control himself. “I mean, it can range from exchanging books and food to chatting over a cup of tea. Basically, I want us to become friends.” Based on their conversation, he had no reason to believe the elves would allow them to see the tomb if they asked right away. That’s why he planned on taking small steps to improve their relations before eventually revealing his real goal. I don’t have a ton of time to waste, but I could mess up if I rush things. Plus, there’s a possibility that I can find the information I need from listening to their stories. If he could get them to tell him information about the Goddess, he wouldn’t need to set foot in their hallowed tomb. That was his thought process behind this suggestion—it was the most peaceful one—but Clarissa made no attempt to hide her scowl. “Excuse you? A human could never stand on equal ground and become friends with us. I mean, look at us—beautiful, dignified, strong. You should know your place!” “You’re so extreme, it’s almost honest.” “What are you, a masochist?” Celes snapped at him. But she was staring at the elves, a vein throbbing angrily at her temple. When he glanced over, he saw Arian looking unhappy with her lips pursed. Even Rino seemed uncomfortable. But Shinichi was more confused than angry. Yeah, they’re better at magic than humans. Sure, they’re beautiful. Their culture seems more refined, too. I get why they’re arrogant, but this… Clarissa was unnecessarily cross, yapping her head off like a tiny Pomeranian faced against a larger dog. Is she afraid of humans? No, that can’t be the case. I bet… Shinichi pieced together the reason behind this feeling of uncanniness like a puzzle, deciding to change tactics and go on the offensive. “Are you okay with that?” “With what?” asked Clarissa. “Are you really okay with destroying your only opportunity to save your village from destruction?” he replied, completely doing away with his humble manner from before. He opted for a more forceful tone. It wouldn’t have been surprising if the arrogant elves got angry and launched some attack spell at him, but— “Wh-wh-what are you talking about?!” stammered Clarissa, clearly showing her agitation. The two elves behind her opened their eyes wide in surprise, exchanging uncomfortable glances. “I’m right, aren’t I?” Shinichi had on an evil grin, guessing from their reactions that he was spot-on. “Ummmm… Can you explain?” asked Rino. She couldn’t really get what he was implying. Shinichi quietly explained, “Basically, their village is at risk of being destroyed because they don’t have enough men.” “What?!” “Tsk…!” Arian, Celes, and Rino were all stunned, but the elves’ faces twisted in frustration. Shinichi didn’t need any further confirmation; looking at their reaction was enough. “The question first came to me when I saw you all fending off the perverts: Why weren’t the male elves fighting?” The owner and the other heroes had completely forgotten about their primary objective of destroying the Elven Tomb. Instead, they kept attacking the elves on a ten-day basis to grapple with beautiful elven women. The elves had been aware of this for a while. There was no other reason to go out of their way to send girls, knowing it’d make them uncomfortable. “Maybe they were worried that the pervs would kill the male elves in a fit of rage?” asked Celes, on the nose. “I won’t say that’s not a possibility,” replied Shinichi with a bitter smile. The only reason the heroes rushed into battle with no changes to their strategy was because they liked getting brutalized by the elven girls. If male elves were sent to the front lines instead, the heroes would get craftier with their methods—setting traps, planning surprise attacks, or otherwise taking advantage of weak points, making them dangerous enemies. In that case, it would make sense for the elves to send in the girls, knowing the heroes would go easy on them. But if the elves were as dignified as Clarissa made them seem, they wouldn’t shoulder the risk of dispatching their girls, knowing there was a one-in-a-million chance of them getting captured and tormented by the humans in the ways of erotic novels. “And yet, Clarissa’s gang of beautiful girls was sent to fight the heroes. Why? Because there’s barely any men. It’d be a problem if one slipped up and died,” explained Shinichi. “Uuugh…!” Clarissa gnashed her teeth together—in a way unbefitting a proud elf. Shinichi’s guess seemed to be spot-on. “But what caused this discrepancy?” asked Arian frankly. Shinichi thought as he answered carefully. “It could simply be a trend. Boys and girls are generally born at the same rate, but the birth of a boy doesn’t guarantee the next baby is going to be a girl.” In dense metropolises, it was common for children to be evenly divided between the genders. But this was an elf village with a scant population of one hundred. If they were experiencing problems with declining birth rates or an aging population, they would lack people who are capable of having children. Say there were fifteen married couples. It wouldn’t be strange if the newborns skewed toward girls. “Either that, or elves have a lower male birth rate.” “…Ack!” Shinichi observed the elves’ faces. All of them glanced away as he spoke. “Hmm, seems I’ve hit the nail on the head.” “Is that a thing?” asked Arian in disbelief. There were species of butterflies and other organisms with extreme male-female imbalances, even though they were rare. The elves weren’t human, so it wouldn’t be alarming if they possessed similar traits. “But I imagine you have a bigger problem than this gender thing. It means you’re having a hard time conceiving—and therefore having healthy children.” “H-h-how do you know?!” stammered Clarissa in shock. Shinichi hit it on the nose again. He couldn’t help laughing at her candid response. “When we used Celes’s magic to observe your village yesterday, I thought it was far too small.” The elves had been residing in Cemetarium Forest and guarding the Elven Tomb for at least the past two hundred twenty years, since Pope Eument ordered its destruction. That meant they’d probably lived there ever since the Goddess’s religion was born. “But a population of one hundred is too small for a race with loads of magic and no foreign enemy. Am I wrong?” Shinichi asked. “You have a point,” said Celes. The elves were powerful enough to heal injuries and cure disease with magic. In a pinch, even the use of Resurrection wasn’t out of the realm of possibility. After all, they were strong enough to fend off the Goddess’s heroes. Anyone would imagine their population and power would explode under these conditions. And yet, they’d remained a small population hidden deep within the forest. “And the reason behind it all has to be inbreeding depression,” said Shinichi. “What’s that?” asked Rino. “When a group keeps marrying their relatives for generations, it eventually leads to their destruction.” He chose his words carefully. Obviously, there was no way he’d sully her innocence by talking to her about sex and incest. “All living organisms have dominant genes and recessive genes. Under normal circumstances, only the dominant genes are the ones that make any difference. But when relatives get married, they’re more likely to possess the same recessive genes, which means those manifest in the children and… You have no idea what I’m talking about, do you?” “Erm. I really don’t understand.” “Let’s see. Basically, the couple will be more susceptible to having sick children. That’s why it’s not the best for immediate family to get married.” “Really?!” Rino gaped at him, but she suddenly seemed relieved. “What is it?” asked Shinichi, curious about this change. Rino beamed at him. “I used to wish you were my brother, but now I’m happy that’s not the case.” “Uh, yeah…” Shinichi turned bright-red. Unconsciously, Rino had essentially proposed to him. The look in Arian’s and Celes’s eyes seemed sharp enough to kill him. He rushed back on track. “Anyway, if relatives keep getting married, they’ll only give birth to sickly children, and the race will eventually be destroyed.” “In other words, the elves are all incestuous perverts,” concluded Celes. “That’s not true!” cried Clarissa as Celes shot a scornful glare at her. “Okay, fine. Even you have the decency not to mate with your parents and siblings. But everyone in the village is related, right?” asked Shinichi. “Aaargh…!” Clarissa didn’t say anything, grinding her teeth, telling Shinichi that he was right yet again. “I’ve heard the minimum viable population for a given race is around one thousand. Based on the elves’ current population, we can estimate there were only about ten elves when they created this settlement,” he continued. It would only take four or five generations until everyone in the village was related in some way, making it impossible to avoid those recessive traits. And the fact that the elves tend to bear fewer male children would only accelerate things—forming a single bloodline. “When that happens to human settlements, it’s common practice to invite in people from outside of the village and try to get new blood. But elves haven’t done that for more than two hundred years. Well, I suppose it’s more correct to say they couldn’t.” If he was to believe the minstrel and peddler, there were almost certainly no elves other than the ones in Cemetarium Forest. Even if they wanted to welcome new brides and grooms into their clan, they wouldn’t be able to find them. “Things would have been better if you had mixed it with human blood. But the situation with the church made it difficult to engage with humans in any real way. That meant you were slowly heading toward a degraded gene pool,” he concluded. Clarissa flushed red with shame and humiliation. “I—I—I would rather bite off my own tongue and bleed to death than get impregnated by a barbarian!” “Hold off on the erotic novels, would you?” snapped Shinichi in frustration. Her line made her sound like a heroine on the verge of giving in to carnal temptation. It’s like she understands their situation, but she can’t convince herself yet. Shinichi was starting to think Clarissa’s bravado and yammering that elves were superior was her attempt to conceal her fear of impending doom. He began to feel a little sorry for her. But what should I do…? The elves were determined to push the humans away. His initial plan to slowly build an amicable relationship was close to impossible. “…I have no other choice. Let’s risk it. Celes,” he said. “Yes,” she replied, immediately understanding his plans. She dissolved the Illusion that covered her. When they saw her dark, pointed ears, Clarissa and her friends let out a shriek. “You’re an elf?!” “We’re not the only ones?!” They had believed there were no others outside of their small village. The sight of Celes came as an incredible surprise—and a beacon of hope for their salvation. “As you can see, there are others. Obviously, this includes men… Erm, there are men, right?” Shinichi asked Celes. “Yes. I am the only elf to come to the surface, though.” “Meaning we’re prepared to introduce you to some real studs.” “Meaning I don’t have to beg that idiot on my knees to get him to sleep with me? He’s the only young guy—and he’s so full of himself!” shouted one of the elves. “Meaning I don’t have to screw that old geezer who already has a wife and kids? He’s thirty years my senior, and I only did it because we’re not closely related!” exclaimed the other, tears in her eyes. “…Yes, it’ll be all right,” said Shinichi, gripping his temple at the pathetic sight. Then he looked up at Clarissa. “I assume you’ll be forced to marry someone, too. If that’s—” “…I won’t,” she said. “What?” “I said, I don’t have a boyfriend or a fiancé or anything!” she screamed, teary-eyed. “What do you mean?” asked Shinichi. Clarissa’s two companions answered for her awkwardly. “There isn’t anyone who’s distant enough in blood…” “Who she’s with isn’t even an issue. And since everyone is out of the question…” “Ah, it’s gotten that bad, huh?” said Shinichi. They had reached the final stages when the diversity in the gene pool had really shrunk. With the low birth rate of men, there were few bachelors available. Unfortunately, that meant she was at high risk of marrying a direct relative. Even though it was a tiny village that desperately wanted to increase its population, all the men turned her down because they didn’t want to have unhealthy children. “D-d-don’t get it twisted! They didn’t reject me! I rejected them!” Clarissa boasted. “Playing hard to get won’t help your situation…,” said Shinichi. From her tears, everyone could see she was putting on an act, but she kept on insisting. “Obviously, men are all over me! After all, I’ve been put in charge of the super-important job of protecting the village from the pervs! What’s not to like?” “Don’t you think that was kinda like getting you out of the way?” asked Shinichi. Clarissa’s knees suddenly buckled. “Fine! I get it! I’m just totally undesirable…” “That was too easy!” shouted Shinichi in surprise. Her friends crouched next to Clarissa as she wept and wrapped her in a group hug. “Clarissa, there’s no way that’s true!” “Yeah, don’t listen to this nasty human.” “This is why I hate dirty creeps,” Celes chimed in, joining forces with the light elves. “Um, Celes… Could you please not take their side?” Shinichi jokingly asked, but he still felt bad for hurting Clarissa. “You’ve dealt with your own share of problems, huh?” He guessed her only support system came from her parents and these two friends. All the rest must have ignored her, for she served them no purpose. Even then, she never gave in to her despair, continuing to fight for the safety of the village. Her resilience should have been praised. Shinichi felt sorry for her and tried to pat her on the back in encouragement, but she instantly smacked his hand away. “I don’t need your pity, you piece of shit!” “Take it easy. I’ll set you up with a nice elf boy. Okay?” “I don’t need someone like that!” She kept denying his goodwill, even to the point where it hurt her. Then she suddenly pointed at Celes. “Besides, that elf with the dark skin is clearly not the same as us!” “…Tsk.” Shinichi clicked his tongue that she would notice something so insignificant, but he smiled nonetheless, making excuses. “That’s not true. Celes is just a little tan from the sun.” “…Heal all wounds, Full Healing,” said Clarissa with suspicion in her eyes. Since a suntan was technically a type of burn, it was possible to heal it with magic. But Celes’s dark skin was genetic, so obviously, it didn’t change anything. “Liar!” shrieked Clarissa. “Ugh. Why did your brain cells have to come together now?” Shinichi groaned. He didn’t even attempt to hide his contempt from Clarissa. “You’re an elf with dark skin, huh? I just remembered something! I read about your kind in books—all about the legendary dark elves!” “I knew you’d know something about them…,” said Shinichi. The dark elves were among the demons that the church was hell-bent on destroying. It wasn’t strange for the light elves, who were their close relatives, to be aware of their existence. And as far as Shinichi was aware, relations between the light elves and dark elves weren’t great, which was why he had hidden her identity at first. There was no way to stop it from eventually coming out, though. “You’re right,” admitted Shinichi. “She’s a dark elf and—” “I bet she’s a smutty pervert!” shouted Clarissa. “A smutty…pervert?!” parroted Shinichi, shocked by the unexpected phrase. “A what?!” said Arian with wide eyes. They were all shocked. Clarissa must have mistaken their reaction as confirmation that she was correct because she puffed up her flat chest in pride. “From the moment I saw your excessively fat rack, I was jealo— I mean, I knew you were a degenerate!” “The bigger the boobs, the bigger the idiot! Why can’t boys just understand?” said one of her friends. “That’s all to say we’re proud of our flat racks! They’re practically proof we’re noble elves!” cried the other. “No need to cry over it,” consoled Shinichi as the three elves pitifully bragged about their flat chests. “Anyway, we don’t want anything to do with a dirty dark elf! I bet all your men are worthless lowlifes who’ll sell us to a brothel after they’re done defiling us! Like in erotic novels!” “Does everything you know come from porn?!” jabbed Shinichi, but Clarissa’s raunchy brain was too full of sexual fantasies for her to notice. “Shut up! Shut up! Shoo! Go home and suck on the tits of your dark elf—or whatever! You’re nothing but a boobs man!” “How did you know?! I mean, that’s not relevant right now!” barked Shinichi, suddenly nervous. Arian shot him a sad glare. As for Celes, who bore the brunt of everyone’s jokes— “O Black Dragon, controlling the ground below, grant me…” She started to recite the incantation for her most powerful spell, expressionless as she was beyond rage. “Celes, I know how you feel, but please calm down!” said Shinichi. “I knew it; you were lying when you said you wanted to be friends!” shouted Clarissa. “This is all your fault!” shot back Shinichi. He looked at Clarissa who was completely unaware of her own hand in this. She was now starting to recite her own incantation for an attack spell. He picked up Celes against her will, turned tail, and sprinted. As they were running away, the other two elves shouted out after them. “Wait, I’m fine with dark elves!” “If he’s hot and tall and loves to do chores!” “Shut up!” shouted Shinichi in return, feeling more annoyed than ever at the pushy elves. He focused all his energy into running far away from that place. When Shinichi’s group reached Oriens after leaving Cemetarium Forest, they headed straight to the tavern. “Man, today was amazing—from their frosty glares to their relentless attacks! All this was possible because the Goddess Elazonia blessed me with this undying body so I can really savor the pain!” said the tavern owner. “Save her praise for another time. Later.” Shinichi shook off the masochistic owner. The group headed up to their room on the second floor, locked the door behind them, and finally had a chance to take a breath. “Seriously… Who would’ve thought the elves would be arrogant, depraved, and stupid…?” said Shinichi. “Ha-ha, what if we let the Evil God take care of them?” asked Celes, grinning from ear to ear. “Celes, you’re acting scary…,” Rino said meekly as the maid emanated a black vibe. “What do we do now?” asked Arian. Shinichi grimaced. “One thing is for sure: We’ve burned all bridges of communication.” “But they did seem really into the idea of dark elf men.” “Yeah, we could use that as a bargaining chip. If we’re very patient, they might eventually let us search the tomb, but…I’m not sure if I can keep my cool the whole time.” Shinichi sighed. “Uh, yeah, that’s true.” Even Arian couldn’t deny that. If they kept heckling her—or Shinichi—for being human, she couldn’t say she wouldn’t draw her blade against them. “Besides, we don’t have the time to convince those totally senseless idiots,” he continued. It had already been over a month since they’d left the Demon King’s castle on a mission to reveal the Goddess Elazonia’s identity, since they had focused on spreading rumors and lies about the Evil God along the way. They would be able to keep the cease-fire with the church going longer. It was more a question about how much longer the Demon King could go without seeing his beloved daughter. “We’ve made sure to teleport back to him every five days, but he’s been looking worse and worse every time,” said Shinichi. “He won’t last more than another month,” guessed Arian. They all sighed, remembering the state of the helicopter parent, wasting away to nothing but skin and bones. “We could expedite things if we resorted to using violence…,” Shinichi noted. “His Highness would be happy to wipe them out. We need only ask,” suggested Celes. “Were you that offended when they called you lewd?” asked Shinichi. It seemed quite the sore spot for her. He held out a piece of candy he’d made just for these situations. “You’re sorely mistaken if you think you can placate me with sweets,” she said, popping the candy in her mouth. “I love when you’re honest and eager about eating candy.” “Shinichi, I’m craving something sweet!” Arian cried. “Me too!” piped in Rino. “All right. Don’t worry. There’s plenty to go around,” said Shinichi with a crooked smile as he handed candy to Arian and Rino, who were both jealous. “Even if His Highness were to go up against a hundred elves, he wouldn’t lose. But it would be difficult to avoid killing them.” This was different from the time when he was up against the troops of Boar Kingdom. If the Demon King left the elven bodies in a condition where they could be resurrected, the other elves could just bring them back to life. Of course, they couldn’t execute a “zombie attack” as well as the heroes. But it would be hard for even the Demon King to exercise control against the powerful enemy. “The elves have potty mouths, but I don’t think they’re bad. I’m sad they don’t have any boys, and I don’t want you to do anything terrible to them…,” explained Rino. “Don’t worry. We won’t go around killing each other,” assured Shinichi with a nod and a smile. Rino would always be far too kind of a person. “Besides,” he continued, “those pervs would be angry if we destroyed their precious elves.” “Very true,” agreed Celes, holding back her anger as she imagined the humans, stripped from their reason to live, charging into the demon world in search of dark elves. “Okay. Negotiating is out of the question. So is the use of force. That leaves us with only one option.” The corners of his mouth curled up in a smile. Arian and the girls were aware that meant he was brewing up some dirty scheme. “What did you think of this time?” asked Arian. “Do you know what kind of people are the easiest to fool?” Shinichi responded with a question of his own. “Uh… Stupid people?” she replied hesitantly, caught off guard. Shinichi’s smile got even more sinister as he shook his head. “Unfortunately, the answer is actually ‘intellectuals.’” “Really—?!”Arian balked in surprise as Shinichi patted her on the shoulder before standing up. “All right. Let’s get ready. I’ll prove it to you.” He used Search to extract the necessary information from his brain, then walked out of the room. It took them a whole day to finish their preparations. Shinichi returned to Cemetarium Forest with Arian and Rino. “Rino, could you use magic to amplify our conversation to all the elves deep in the forest?” asked Shinichi. “Yes, I’ll try,” she replied, nodding before closing her eyes and concentrating. “Can I get your attention, please? Wide Link.” Everything that entered Rino’s ears was transmitted to Cemetarium Forest like a radio broadcast. This way, even if the elves retreated, they would hear the entire conversation. “All right, let’s go.” Shinichi took a deep breath, readied himself, and shouted toward the forest. “Hey, elves! Abandon your village and leave Cemetarium Forest now—or face a dangerous catastrophe!” He repeated the message to smooth over any misunderstandings. The three elves from the day before came flying out of the forest. “What do you think you’re doing, creep?!” shouted Clarissa. “I already told you: My name is Shinichi Sotoyama, Clarissa.” “Don’t call me by name!” She was as annoying as always. Shinichi repeated his demands, irritated already. “Like I said, abandon your village and leave the forest…or face your worst nightmare.” “Ha! Like a pathetic human could do anything to the glorious elves.” “So you’re saying you won’t negotiate.” “We were never going to compromise with humans. Got it? Just tell us where the dark elves are and get lost!” “You’re practically begging to be reunited with us!” He was starting to get a splitting headache. Shinichi sent a telepathic message up into the sky: “Celes, let’s do this.” “Understood.” Before this had started, the dark elf had flown above the clouds, hovering six miles up in the air. Shinichi had explained she would need to use magic to compensate for the decreased oxygen levels and to maintain her body temperature. That was to say, she was expending magic quicker than she would on the ground, and he didn’t want her to have to stay up there for too long. “Confirming target.” Celes cast Telescope to look down at the Earth, locating the elves’ village. She cast her next spell so it wouldn’t fall directly on the settlement. “Apport.” In front of her appeared a giant stone pillar, three times longer than she was tall. Gravity pulled it down, and it crashed in the forest near the village. Rino used Protection to strengthen the pillar to prevent it from breaking on impact. Instead, it kicked up sand and dirt as it pierced the ground with a thunderous clash. “Wh-wh-what was that?!” stammered Clarissa. “We launched a pillar of environmental hormones near your village,” explained Shinichi as Clarissa panicked. A moment later, a second and third pillar crashed into the forest, spraying dirt over their surroundings. “Environmental hormones?” she asked. “That’s not the scientific term. The correct phrase is endocrine disruptor… But there’s no way an intelligent elf wouldn’t know about that, right?” Clarissa broke into a cold sweat at being asked this and avoided making eye contact. “O-o-of course I know! See, it’s a…bad substance that messes with your body?” “Exactly. It’s a very dangerous substance that disrupts the effects of hormones, which are necessary for normalizing the body of a living creature.” “See? We would obviously know about environmental hormones—Wait! A dangerous substance?!” cried Clarissa, letting out a shriek after getting carried away with pride. Observing her was Shinichi with his usual smirk. “And I used the worst poison from among all environmental hormones: dioxin.” “Dioxin…,” repeated Clarissa with a gulp. She didn’t know what it was. What stood in front of her was a human who had more knowledge than the elves. He was confident enough in his assertions that she believed it was a terrible poison. “Organisms exposed to dioxin experience a severe disruption of their hormones. Early symptoms are hair loss and extreme weight gain. In essence, they become bald fatties.” “Aaah!” screamed Clarissa and her two friends. Elves took great pride in their appearance. Losing control of it was a terrifying prospect to them. “But that’s not the worst effect. You’re at a higher risk for cancer. The efficiency of the immune system diminishes, making the affected contract diseases more easily. And…it decreases the fertility of the population, resulting in a lower birth rate—and the babies are rarely born healthy,” concluded Shinichi. It was literally a death sentence to the elves, who were already teetering on the edge of destruction. “There’s enough dioxin that the pollutants will reach here quickly. You three should run.” “You’re inhuman!” “I thought I was a crude one?” “That’s not what I meant!” shouted Clarissa as Shinichi played dumb. Her face turned pale. Her two elven companions were shaking in terror. “This is bad! We have no choice! We have to abandon the village!” cried one. “No! If we do, he wins!” snapped back Clarissa, more terrified of losing to a human than of the dioxin. She planted her unsteady feet. “B-b-besides, it’s all a bluff! I won’t be fooled!” “Heh-heh-heh, then why don’t you just use Liar Detector?” Shinichi provoked. “Uh…” “What? Can’t you use magic to detect lies?” “Of course I can!” yelled Clarissa, immediately casting the spell. “My ears will not allow any deceit. Liar Detector.” That particular magic sharpened her senses, allowing her to detect slight tremors in the voice, increased body temperature, and other factors associated with lies. Shinichi watched until she had completed the spell before repeating himself. “Dioxin is a dangerous poison that deals massive damage to an organism’s health and introduces abnormalities into their fertility rates. We have put dioxin on those pillars and shot them into the ground near the elven village.” “…It’s…true?” whimpered Clarissa in surprise. Her Liar Detector hadn’t detected anything—proof that Shinichi wasn’t lying. “Told ya.” Shinichi showed her a sad and compassionate expression, even though he practically felt like sticking his tongue out and laughing at them. In fact, he hadn’t told any lies, but he hadn’t expressed the full truth either. It’s true that dioxin is a deadly poison. Agent Orange, an herbicide and defoliant used by the United States during the Vietnam War, contained a type of dioxin. It was a terrifying chemical weapon—a thousand times more toxic than cyanide. Masses of people still suffered from the consequences. But I never said I used that kind! The word dioxin covered a group of over two hundred substances. Not all of them were toxic enough to be used as defoliants. Shinichi had made this substance by burning one of the few things he’d brought with him from Earth—the vinyl chloride in his smartphone strap. It wasn’t very toxic to humans, and there wasn’t enough of it to have any negative effects. When I said we “put dioxin on those pillars,” I never said we applied enough to risk their lives. Technically, I never lied. The elves listened to his explanation and made the assumption themselves that it was dangerous. Plus, dioxin usually only has negative effects if ingested. Driving those pillars into the Earth wouldn’t result in any immediate damage to health. Yet, the elves mistook his meaning again, assuming the dioxin was like a curse they could never escape. Well, I might have provoked their fear. But I never lied. Before this, he had confirmed through tests with Celes that Liar Detector can find lies, but it couldn’t guarantee that what the speaker said was the truth. The elves were unaware of that fact. They blindly believed in the power of their magic. And that brought their downfall. And their advanced knowledge and wisdom was just enough for them to understand chemistry—but to a limited extent. A completely ignorant person would have deflected: “Well, I’ve never heard of dioxin” or “There’s no way that could be real.” “To think they were deceived by a lowly human because they’re such clever elves! Heh-heh-heh!” “You’re the worst man I’ve ever met,” Celes said from the sky, but Shinichi ignored her as he gazed at Clarissa and her friends before putting the final nail in their coffin. “Look, you should run away as fast as you can—or you’ll turn out like this.” He gripped a bunch of his own black hair with his right hand and yanked it off. The wig had hidden a shiny bald head caused by dioxin poisoning (which was what he wanted them to believe, but he’d really just shaved it). “““Aaaaaaaaahhh—!””” shrieked the three elves, dashing away with Cemetarium Forest behind them. Listening closely, Shinichi could hear the cries of the other elves deeper in the village. It sounded like they were abandoning the settlement, running for their lives. “That’s enough, Rino,” Shinichi called out. “All righty.” She cut off the Wide Link before tugging on Shinichi’s sleeve, asking him to bend over. “I’ll heal your hair.” “Thanks. It’s surprisingly cold.” “But I think it’s kind of cute. You look like Daddy.” Shinichi ran his hand over his smooth head with a pained smile. Rino beamed, holding her hands up and reciting the incantation. “Make it nice and fluffy again. Full Healing.” Her power showered his head, speeding the growth of the follicles so the hairs grew faster. “Magic is so convenient. You never need to worry if you get a terrible haircut,” said Shinichi. “Which is why you didn’t hesitate to shave off all your hair, but I don’t know about this…” Arian sighed, both relieved to see Shinichi back to his normal hair and exasperated at him. She glanced in the direction the elves ran. “You lie as well as the Evil God.” “That’s an insult. To the Evil God.” Celes was disgusted, agreeing with Arian as she touched down to the ground. “Hey, I achieved our goals without hurting anyone. You should be thanking this gentle liar.” “I have reason to believe you’ve given the elves some serious psychological scars,” she shot back. Shinichi gave himself a pat on the back, completely ignoring her, and just started walking toward the elves’ village.
Chapter 51
28 min read