The lady minstrel said quietly, “This stays between us: He actually taught me because I agreed to spread rumors to ruin the reputation of the church.” Apparently, the tongue-lashing he had received from the holy warriors hadn’t sat right with him. Shinichi felt a shiver run up his spine, thinking about how minstrels could be one’s worst nightmare when they put everything into defaming someone. I feel bad for the church for making an enemy of the mass media… The Internet wasn’t a thing in this world. Neither were radios or newspapers. That meant normal people who couldn’t use Telepathy had to rely on traveling merchants or minstrels to learn about the world beyond. The minstrels had a tight grip on the transmission of information: If they said something was white, the people would have no choice but to believe them—even if the thing in question was black. Now that the church had made an enemy of the minstrels, it was possible for public opinion to eventually start plummeting down. “A song is mightier than the sword,” huh? I mean, even Cú Chulainn ended up dead because of a minstrel. Shinichi let out a small sigh, though he did feel encouraged to know the minstrels were on his side. The minstrel was ecstatic as she grabbed her signed lute. “Rino, you have to do one song with me! This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for me to hear the legendary Diva in person!” “What?! B-but I should continue healing and cleaning up the vineyards…,” Rino mumbled, panicking. “The vineyards are already done,” Arian happily assured her. They all turned around to see her gripping a hoe, standing next to a mountain of scorched vines and roots. “It was much easier than plowing the ground in Dog Valley!” “Sure. But you’ve gone too far,” said Celes with a sigh as she pointed to the farmers. Naturally, the stone dragon had made them afraid, but the sight of the young girl plowing through the diseased roots at inhuman speeds had frightened them just as much. “Well, if things are all cleaned up, it shouldn’t be a problem. Won’t you sing for us, Rino?” asked Shinichi. “Hmm… I haven’t practiced in a while. I’m not sure if I’ll sound good…” “We won’t care if you mess up. I’d love to hear your cute voice. It’s been so long.” “If it’s for you, I’ll try my best, Shinichi!” Rino exclaimed. Her gloomy expression broke into a smile directed at her favorite person. “You’ve become a real womanizer.” Squeeze. Celes pinched his back. “It was just to make things easier for all of us, Celes…,” Shinichi tried to justify, making excuses. Arian pouted when she saw them huddled close together. “Hey, let’s make a stage for Rino’s concert!” “Uh… Sure!” “…As you wish,” said Celes, even though she didn’t seem to be satisfied with his explanation. They started getting things ready, lining up the tavern’s tables in the town square to make a simple stage. It was time for the Rino the Superstar Goddess concert. “Is everyone ready?!” “““YEEEAH—!””” The concert was a smashing success. They even set aside some time for Rino to have a meet and greet with her fans. After everything, the townspeople brought local wines and grapes for a big banquet. “Wow, these little grapes are supersweet! They’re more delicious than the ones from the mountains!” exclaimed Rino. “It’s because we grow them with care and hard work. Here, eat up,” said one of the farmers. “Hmm, white wine has sweet tones. It’s divine,” Celes commented. “Right? It pairs well with fish. We have many customers who come all the way from the seaside cities to buy it.” “I’m not the biggest fan of wine, but I think I’ll have some grape juice,” said Arian. The townspeople had thrown this together to thank them for saving the town. In between mountains of food, the girls enjoyed the banquet with huge smiles. As for Shinichi, he was sitting away from them, engaged in a pleasant chat with the minstrel and peddler. “To perform with Rino herself. This is the story of the century!” chirped the minstrel. “You know, our wine would fly off the shelves if we claimed the grapes were crushed by the Goddess Rino herself… Oh, but that’s practically blasphemous! Please forgive me, my Saint!” cried the peddler. “I actually think that perv would be overjoyed,” added Shinichi. Both were looking to spread Rino’s good word. Shinichi forced a smile and used a different tactic to get some intel. “By the way, have you heard about where Elazok had been spotted? Or any stories about the Evil God’s whereabouts?” “No. I’d heard rumors that you were fighting his minions, but that’s about it…” “I don’t remember hearing anything about the Evil God,” added the minstrel. “I see…” Shinichi acted disappointed before moving on to his real question. “Then have you heard of anyone who’s seen the Goddess?” “The Goddess is right over there!” cried the peddler. “I’m not talking about Rino. I mean the Goddess Elazonia,” clarified Shinichi. The minstrel looked at Shinichi with skepticism. “Hmm? Why would you care about the Goddess Elazonia?” “I imagine the Goddess knows the whereabouts of the Evil God. Maybe she could lend us her power if the Evil God did return or something.” “I suppose,” said the minstrel with a nod. Obviously, Shinichi’s explanation was a mountain of lies. His real goal was to find Elazonia and destroy the system that created the undying heroes whose existence alone threw the world into instability. Three hundred years ago, she abruptly came into being and used heroes to build her religion. I have no doubt that she exists. There were only the two people who’d seen her: Eument, the first pope, and ex-Bishop Hube. Both were given impossible power upon meeting her. Hube had led an army of ten thousand heroes against the Demon King. But when he failed, he was offed, dissolved into a sandy powder from which he could never be resurrected. She enslaves people by granting them infinite resurrections, then destroys them when they end up serving no utility. She is the cruelest Goddess. And she definitely exists. The problem was he had absolutely no leads about her true location. “Vermeita, the Holy Mother, let me flip through the archives in the Archbasilica, but I wasn’t able to find anything on potential whereabouts of the Evil God or even the Goddess… I know I’m grasping at straws, but I’m just trying to find anything at all,” said Shinichi. “I see. It is a global threat, after all,” agreed the minstrel with a grave nod and a serious expression as she thought. “All I know about those two entities is based on the holy book from the church.” “Would you happen to know any other legends, excluding those about the Goddess—stories predating the church, tales about the Evil God’s army bringing the world to the brink of extinction?” pressed Shinichi. “Why are you interested in those old stories?” “I couldn’t find any information even after searching the church records. Which leaves me no choice but to search for something outside of the church.” “I guess. But I only know one ancient story. It’s the one where the human woman falls in love with the god of the forest, but I couldn’t detect any information in it about the two divine entities.” The minstrel started to sing softly, strumming her lute. “In the past, there were more stories passed through song. Perhaps they contained something, but the church declared there were no gods other than the Goddess Elazonia. Most of the stories were lost.” “I see…” Shinichi’s shoulders slumped a little. Another dead end. The peddler glanced at him, remembering something. “If you’re looking for old stories…well, I imagine the elves might know.” “The elves?” Shinichi parroted back in surprise, quickly glancing at Celes who was disguised under Illusion. “There are elves who have broken out to the surface?” “Yes. If you head east from here, you’ll come to a large forest known as Cemetarium Forest. That’s where the elves live.” “Oh, I know about that. There’s stories about love between elves and humans!” gushed the minstrel, strumming her lute and singing again. Shinichi listened. He was convinced of something. “I thought the only race living aboveground was humans, but I guess there are elves, too.” After all, the dvergr and dark elves were treated the same as demons, too. Shinichi had just assumed that all nonhumans lived below the ground. “The elves refuse any contact with humans. I’ve heard they’ll kill you on sight. Yeesh. Scary. That’s why many people haven’t seen them,” added the peddler. “I guess love between an elf and a human can only happen in song…,” noted the minstrel, lamenting the lack of romance in the world. A few seats down, Celes made a face like she wanted to say something, but Shinichi didn’t notice, continuing with his questions. “So these elves might know something. Don’t tell me they live for thousands of years,” Shinichi said. “I’ve never heard of elves having a long life span. But like I said, the elves don’t associate with humans. They developed their own culture, which means they might know legends and stories outside of the church,” replied the peddler. “And then there’s that story about those old ruins called the Elven Tomb that exist in Cemetarium Forest,” added the minstrel. “Old ruins?” repeated Shinichi, eyebrows arching in surprise. “You heard that right. The elves apparently call it their graveyard or their birthplace. Legend has it, incredible treasure lies there!” the minstrel boasted with sparkling eyes as she imagined mountains of silver and gold. The corners of Shinichi’s mouth pulled up in a grin. He had the feeling that treasure did sleep there but in the form of information. “Elven ruins, huh? I’m interested, even if it has nothing to do with the Evil God or Goddess.” “You should be careful,” the peddler cautioned Shinichi, who seemed eager to go. “Elves are known for hating humans. I doubt they’ll just let you into the ruins.” “Especially since the heroes of the church are supposedly trying to destroy the tomb,” added the minstrel. “You don’t say. Now you’ve really caught my attention,” said Shinichi with a wider grin. It felt like he’d just discovered a footprint left by the unknown Goddess. Once the banquet was over, Shinichi’s group returned to their rooms in the inn where Celes used Telepathy to meet with the Holy Mother Vermeita. The heroes reported to her in the Holy City. “You’re right. The church has dispatched heroes to destroy the Elven Tomb,” Vermeita immediately admitted when Shinichi repeated what the peddler had told him. “I would have preferred to hear all important information when we stopped by the Holy City,” said Shinichi. “I apologize. We were so busy. It slipped my mind.” Vermeita was talking about appeasing the masses who were blaming the church for all that had transpired. There was one incident in particular: Once called the Messiah, Bishop Hube had been revealed to be an agent of the Evil God. With her hands full, Vermeita was able to grant Shinichi permission to view the archives and provide necessary maps, but she hadn’t had any time to sit down with him. “Oh yeah. You looked like you’d pulled an all-nighter.” “Yes, I hadn’t slept for five days,” she replied. “…Excuse me?” “I mean, seventy percent of our clergy had been turned into heroes by Hube, sent far away to battle the Demon King. When you came, thirty days had passed without them. Everyone who remained in the Holy City was practically worked to the bone.” “……” Shinichi was at a loss for words. Just imagining it made him feel sick. Say there was a company on Earth with 70 percent of their employees away on a thirty-day business trip. They would be totally screwed. The church had only been able to overcome this hardship with magic. “Any bodily fatigue, and I would use Healing. Any need for sleep, and I would use Awaken. If I died, the Goddess would resurrect me. Working around the clock at this age is difficult.” “That’s totally an abuse of power,” Shinichi added with a grimace. He was in between admiration and fear of the Holy Mother, who had just described hell as “difficult.” If death from overwork was impossible, it was basically an infinite inferno. “But of course, by taking things to the extreme, it’s not only your body that endures a big hit but your soul as well. More than a hundred of our clergy have disappeared from the Holy City.” “Well, any normal person would run.” “And those sent to attack the Demon King have abandoned us. They couldn’t handle the stigma of becoming a fake hero, deceived by an unholy priest. There were close to a thousand of them who just left.” “I can understand where they’re coming from. But they’re really spineless.” “Plus, there was a faction of extreme believers who would not accept the cease-fire with the demons. They left, too. In total, our clergy is down to seventy percent.” “Ugh…” Shinichi recoiled, even though he was basically the one who instigated all this major loss. Arian and Rino were sitting next to him and listening to the telepathic messages, hanging their heads apologetically. “I am so sorry, Lady Vermeita. I can’t believe the remaining people are forced to work so hard…,” said Arian. “It’s all our fault. I’m so very sorry,” offered Rino. The two apologized, but the Holy Mother smiled like she’d caught a pair of children up to some mischief. “Arian, Rino. No need to feel sorry. It was our fault that Hube got out of control. We’ve reaped what we sowed,” added Vermeita. “But…” “All the clergy, including myself, view this as an opportunity to reexamine ourselves. We should actually be grateful for what you’ve done.” “Grammy Vermeita, you’re too nice…,” said Rino. The Holy Mother was the true personification of grace as she took sole responsibility for the situation. Both Rino and Arian couldn’t help feeling moved. Shinichi butted into the conversation with a cold look in his eyes. “I mean, in all seriousness, there’s no reason we should be concerned. And you can quit this sob story to get our sympathy.” “Hmm, I’ve been found out,” Vermeita admitted without a trace of shame. “What?! Was your whole story a lie?” yelped Rino in shock. “No, I did die from overwork, and the number of clergy in the Archbasilica has dropped,” replied Vermeita gently before explaining in simplified terms. “The church and the demons are still enemies, even though we have the cease-fire in place, and I am personally allied with the demons. I’m relieved we don’t have enough soldiers to fight. There is no need for you to feel sorry.” “But you have to remember that Arian and Rino are good people,” Shinichi reasoned. “It might not be the case for me or Celes, but they’ll get down on themselves if their actions have caused hardships for others. Right now, it’s a minor inconvenience, but it’s something that others could use to force concessions in future negotiations.” “Taking advantage of others’ kindness? You’re horribly wicked for a Holy Mother,” Celes judged. Vermeita chuckled at Shinichi’s cool analysis and Celes’s direct criticism. “Hee-hee. Perceiving someone’s true intent is essential in leading people, you know. Consider this a lesson learned. Rino, your purity is a virtue, but if you seek coexistence between the humans and demons, you must become more comfortable with conversations like these.” “Y-yes!” replied the girl. “Trying to garner her favor again, huh? You really are a troublesome old hag,” cursed Shinichi, somewhat concerned that Rino fell for the Holy Mother’s words too easily. But it was a good lesson on social interactions, so he decided to continue their telepathic meeting. “Let’s get back on track. It’s true that the church has dispatched heroes to destroy the Elven Tomb, right?” “Correct,” replied Vermeita. “Which means something there spells bad news for the church?” “That would be my guess.” She refused to say anything outright. However, that wasn’t due to a desire to protect the church or herself; she really didn’t know the reason why. “We have been attempting to destroy the ruins for more than two hundred years in accordance with orders left by the first pope, Eument. However, there are no oral legends nor any written records remaining that explain his motive.” “That’s terrible! You can’t just destroy the elves’ graves without a good reason!” objected Rino angrily. Her pout made Arian smile. “But the fact that you’ve continued to try must mean you haven’t been able to do it in all this time.” “Yes. Their numbers are scant, but the elves are all great magic users, capable of fending off even our most veteran heroes. In fact, I was left beaten within an inch of my life when I tried to pursue them in my youth,” explained Vermeita. “You were almost killed?!” screeched Arian, unable to hide her shock. The Holy Mother was among the most powerful magic users in all humanity. Sure, she would have been inexperienced when she was younger, but Arian couldn’t believe she suffered a total loss at the hands of the elves. “It seems you haven’t heard much about the elves in the east since you’ve spent your time in the Boar Kingdom in the west. But if you had continued your journey as a hero, I bet you would have had the chance to grapple with some elves,” said Vermeita. “I’ll pass…,” replied Arian. After all, the elves weren’t bandits or anything. They weren’t doing anything wrong by protecting a monument. Arian felt queasy at the thought of attacking them for the church. Vermeita smiled mischievously at Arian’s naïveté. “Or would you rather whip criminals at Mouse, the labor camp up north?” “That’s worse!” “Oh, really? Because the bandits you caught in the past were sent there, forced into a life of heavy labor.” “Uuugh…” There was no way Arian would win in a battle of words against the wicked Holy Mother, so she was forced to concede. “Hey, hey! Could you refrain from bullying my hero?” Unable to witness this any longer, Shinichi stepped in, steering the conversation back on track again. “Geez. A final order to destroy the protected ruins of overpowered elves? How dull.” “If I may be entirely honest, I would prefer to drop the entire thing as soon as possible. I consider it a waste of our valuable manpower,” replied Vermeita. “But disrespecting the orders of the first pope would negatively affect the church’s reputation. Meaning you have to continue even if you don’t like it.” “Exactly. I’m a little annoyed at Pope Eument for his busybodying,” lamented Vermeita with a sigh born from years of stress. “Well, it was somewhat useful as a sort of trial by fire: New heroes get experience fighting and losing against powerful magic users, which puts the newbies in their place. But these past few years, we’ve had some trouble…” “What kind?” “I think it would be best for you to see for yourself,” said Vermeita, avoiding the question. Shinichi elected not to press her further. “Based on what you’re telling me, the only goal is to destroy the ruins. The orders don’t include annihilating the elves themselves.” “You’re alarmingly collected when you talk about the most horrifying things,” interjected Celes with disgust, but she did get his point. “It does seem strange that the church would order the deaths of all demons but hold no hostility toward the elves.” “So what’s going on there?” asked Shinichi. Vermeita answered simply. “The orders left by Pope Eument are only to destroy the ruins. There’s not a single word remaining that suggests we must kill the elves. On the other hand, there is nothing decreeing we must not kill them, either.” “That said, they’re favored over the demons, who are at the top of the kill list… Dark elves are bad, but normal elves are just fine, huh? I’ll never understand the church’s standards.” “Don’t ask me. It’s what the Goddess decided.” Vermeita put on a pained smile before dropping her tone. “My guess is that Pope Eument wasn’t the one who ordered the destruction of the ruins. It must have been from the Goddess herself.” “And your proof?” asked Shinichi. “If we’re to believe anything in the holy book, Pope Eument was a very honest man. He does not seem the type to demand this without good reason.” Shinichi sputtered. “Would an ‘honest man’ annihilate tens of thousands of people in Mouse to transform it into a labor camp?” “Wouldn’t you say he did that because he was honest?” “Definitely,” said Shinichi with a nod and a pained expression. In history, it wasn’t uncommon for the evilest of people, those responsible for massacres, to be lauded for their honesty by their inner circles. Meanwhile, the opposite type of person would be inclined to commit crimes on a smaller scale, offenses that only satisfied their own desires. After all, mass murder wouldn’t serve to meet any of their ends: It would just be a big chore. It was the honest people with a strong sense of justice who made sacrifices for the sake of a “greater cause.” “I imagine the Goddess told Eument: By penalizing the tens of thousands of evildoers before your eyes, you will save billions of good people in the future,” said Shinichi. “It’s like you were there,” said Vermeita with a grimace, visualizing the plausible scene. “Anyway, it’s likely there is some connection between the Goddess and the Elven Tomb.” “Thanks. Now I know. But are you okay with this?” “With what?” “Helping to uncover the church’s true nature,” Shinichi provoked. “……” Vermeita was silent for a moment, but then she gave her answer, heaving out the heaviness that weighed deep in her soul. “I am not as pure of heart as Sir Effectus.” Her faith in the Goddess had been shaken by the tragedies surrounding Hube’s actions. Shinichi could see the new fissures in the Holy Mother’s heart, but he pretended he didn’t notice, laughing it off. “Heh-heh-heh. Well, we knew you’re a little dirty anyway.” “Ha-ha. Says the one who brought that out in me.” The two chuckled in a friendly way. Rino jumped in, confused. “What’s dirty?” “Wine. It’s made from dirty, rotten grapes.” “What?! Will you be okay drinking that?” she yelped, falling for Shinichi’s evasion tactic. He really didn’t want her to know about the whole Boys Love thing. Vermeita chuckled as she listened to their exchange and then spoke up like she’d suddenly remembered something. “By the way, do you know when Ms. Mimolette’s next book will be done?” “Hmm, I think it should be done any time now,” answered Shinichi. “Oh, then I’ll get my things to visit the Demon King’s castle.” “Hey! Don’t abandon your post in the Holy City!” “Oh, it’ll be fine. I can just teleport to Boar Kingdom. It should only take me two days to return.” “And I’m saying you shouldn’t ditch work!” “This is work. It’ll play an important role in reaching a formal cease-fire with the demons. And while I’m there, I can pick up the new book and submit a request for the next one.” “You’re doing a bad job hiding your ulterior motive!” Vermeita sounded like someone using a business trip as an excuse to go to a fanfic event—essentially, a bad employee. “I hear you loud and clear. But the children are begging for the next book. As you can see, I’m in a pickle.” “Why the hell would you show that to the kids at the orphanage?!” screamed Shinichi. “Don’t worry. I was very careful in selecting the children with potential—and those who I could trust to keep their mouths shut.” “That’s beside the point!” “I am a master at spreading gospel.” “I’ve never been more worried!” “Well then, I should be on my way. I need to pick up the new book as soon as possible,” finished Vermeita, cutting off their telepathic meeting. “I think I’ve made a hideous monster…,” muttered Shinichi. “And it’s all your fault,” quipped Celes. Shinichi was beginning to feel the full weight of his crimes. He had a vision of the graceful maidens at the orphanage falling to temptation, buying a one-way ticket to hell. Before leaving Uverse, Shinichi’s group received dried grapes and jams from the townspeople. Placing their little tour on hold, they rushed off to the eastern edge of the continent. Rino supplied Celes with magic to fly, covering the distance in two days. It would have taken them eight days of walking. They arrived in front of the Cemetarium Forest, the place that housed the Elven Tomb. “It’s so dense,” Shinichi commented. The group was standing on a hill in the distance, looking down at the unbroken sea of green leaves that stretched to the horizon. They had no way of seeing how far it went. “Forests this massive don’t come by often, even in the demon world,” said Celes. “Looks like there’d be lots of yummy nuts and mushrooms!” Rino beamed. “It reminds me of the Amazon rain forests. Ugh, I bet it has poisonous snakes and spiders…” Shinichi groaned. “It’ll be hard to swing a sword between the clusters of trees. I’d rather not go in,” Arian lamented. Each of them voiced their first impressions as they observed the Cemetarium Forest, but they didn’t see any sign of the elves. “Maybe they’re not here today?” asked Shinichi. “No, I think they’re at the edges of the forest,” said Arian cautiously, sensing someone’s eyes on them. Shinichi patted her gently on the back in encouragement. “Don’t worry. I have no plans of making trouble today. Relax.” “Oh, all right,” she said meekly, letting the tension go from her shoulders. “But I would like to check the elves’ main location and their numbers. Celes, can you use Telescope or Clairvoyance?” “Just a moment,” she replied before reciting the incantation. She examined the forest in detail. “Lady Arian is right: There is one elf near the edge. I can see a number of them hunting, but I do not see anything that might resemble houses from here.” “All right. What if we fly? No, that won’t work. They’ll attack us if we do something that suspicious.” He rejected his own suggestion. Shinichi didn’t think Celes would be killed that easily, but it’d be bad to set the elves on high alert before they even had a chance to negotiate. “Something more inconspicuous… Oh, could you send your field of vision into the air and look down using magic?” “Just my vision?” asked Celes. “I want a bird’s-eye view like a satellite image,” replied Shinichi. He drew a simple diagram in the dirt and explained in straightforward terms. “In other words, it would be like chucking an eyeball into the air?” “Yeah. But yuck, what a gross image.” “Understood. One moment,” said Celes. She was silent for a second while she formed the image in her mind, then quietly spoke an incantation. “Send my sight into the sky; show me the shape of the earth. Satellite View.” The magic formed an invisible eye that caught the wind and rose higher. Celes felt dizzy, like she was having an out-of-body experience, but she carefully surveyed the ground until she found what she was searching for. “There it is—the elf settlement.” “What does it look like?” asked Shinichi. “Your hand, please.” Shinichi gripped her outstretched hand, and she used Link to transfer the information into his brain. “I can’t really see. It’s kind of blurry…” “Please cut me some slack. This is the first time I have tried this spell,” replied Celes. “I wanna see their home, too!” said Rino out of curiosity, gripping Celes’s other hand. She observed the images that flowed into her. “It’s not very big.” “You’re right. I’m not even sure there’s a hundred people living there,” said Shinichi. Deep in the forest, there was a hole in the plane of green that contained yellow fields surrounding gray buildings. From the grainy bird’s-eye view, they still couldn’t see any signs of the elves themselves, but there looked to be no more than thirty buildings in the cluster. “I suppose villages with a population of less than a hundred aren’t exactly rare in this world…,” said Shinichi as he thought, but Arian interrupted him with a tap on his shoulder. “More elves are observing us. They’re on guard now.” “Hmm, all right,” he replied, releasing Celes’s hand and asking her to stop the spell before turning his back to Cemetarium Forest. “We’ve determined their location and numbers. Next up is their strength.” “Are we going to fight them?” asked Arian uneasily. Rino’s face held the same expression, but Shinichi smiled and tried to reassure them. “Don’t worry. It’s just a precaution. We can’t negotiate properly if we don’t know how powerful they are.” If Shinichi’s group was stronger, they could pressure the elves, but if it was the opposite situation, it wouldn’t go very well. This was unimaginable, but if the elves possessed more power than the incredibly powerful Blue Demon King, it would be best to give up on investigating the Elven Tomb. He needed to see the elves’ strength with his own eyes first. “We have a perfect test ready. We should at least take advantage of it. Heh-heh-heh,” chuckled Shinichi. “How sick,” snapped Celes as Shinichi flashed his evil grin. The group said their good-byes to the forest home of the elves for the time being. About a three-hour walk from Cemetarium Forest was a small town by the name of Oriens. Population five hundred. It served as the frontline base for the heroes engaging in the fight against the elves, a battle that had continued for more than two hundred years. “Huh. This place doesn’t feel unsafe at all,” observed Shinichi, disappointed, taking in the wheat fields and quaint town streets. “Well, I guess they have no need for city walls, since the elves aren’t going out of their way to attack.” “Plus, the elves could just blow the walls away with magic,” replied Arian. As they conversed, the party found and opened the door to the only tavern in the town, which doubled as an inn. There were no customers inside. It must have been because it was past mealtime. But there was a beefcake of a man in his forties polishing the round tables. He looked like he might be the owner. “Welcome. A group of youngsters all the way in the boonies, huh? Am I right to guess you’re here for the elves?” “Well, yeah,” said Shinichi, making no attempt to hide it as he walked up to the owner. The group ordered some food. Shinichi tried to nonchalantly cut to the chase. “By the way, could you introduce us to the heroes in town?” “What can we do for you?” replied the owner. “…Huh?” Shinichi and the others all stared dumbfounded at the owner of the tavern as he puffed out his chest, guffawing at them. He showed them the Goddess’s symbol emblazoned on his arm. “I’m in charge of coordinating the heroes. The name’s Zorkus, but everyone knows me as the owner.” “Wait, why is a hero running a tavern?!” cried Shinichi, voicing the most obvious concern. The owner shrugged and grinned. “Can’t eat if you don’t work. We don’t defeat monsters or capture bandits here; we just get the crap beat out of us by the elves. Goes without saying the church doesn’t pay us squat.” “I guess that makes sense,” replied Shinichi. “There are ten other heroes here—they work in the fields, heal the wounded, sell magically created ice, and so on. We all earn our own keep.” “Sounds tough…,” said Arian with a sympathetic tear in her eye. She’d faced similar hardships when she’d worked as a monster hunter. “So what do you need from us?” asked the tavern owner. “Like I said, we have business with the elves,” replied Shinichi, casting a pointed look at Arian’s right hand. She guessed what he meant and removed her glove. This time, the tavern owner was shocked to see the symbol of the Goddess. “Huh, you must really be something to get selected as a hero at such a young age,” he marveled. “Haven’t you ever heard of Arian the Red?” asked Shinichi. “Nope, sorry. Doesn’t ring a bell. I’ve been here squaring off with the elves for the past ten years, so I don’t know too much about younger folks.” “Which means you’ve been losing for ten years,” Celes pointed out, but the tavern owner just laughed heartily and avoided acknowledging her comment. “So you came to defeat the elves?” he asked with a wary look in his eyes. Maybe he was worried they would swoop in and take the prize he’d been eyeing for ten years. Shinichi smiled, de-escalating the situation. “Well, your goal is destroying the tomb, not the elves.” “Yeah, that’s right,” said the tavern owner, catching his own fist in his other palm like he’d just remembered. Shinichi couldn’t help feeling like the tavern owner was trying to lull him into a false sense of security, but he pretended like he hadn’t noticed. “I’ll get to the point. We are here on direct orders from Lady Vermeita to destroy the tomb.” “Vermeita?” repeated the owner. Shinichi caught the barely perceptible grimace crossing his face, and the young boy’s eyes narrowed sharply. “Even though she’s been demoted from cardinal to archbishop, she’s one of the leaders of the church. Don’t you think it’s inappropriate to refer to her without a proper title?” Shinichi acted like a loyal servant of hers, warning the tavern owner to choose his words carefully—for those words would determine whether they would exchange blows over her honor. Celes caught onto Shinichi’s plan and released magic, her face stone-cold. The owner felt its presence, its strength at least equal to the power of the elves who had killed him on too many occasions to count. He nervously mopped up the cold sweat from his brow as he tried to explain himself. “Hold up. I didn’t mean anything bad by it. It’s only because we were actively serving as heroes around the same time.” “I see. Which makes you around the same age as her,” replied Shinichi, quickly accepting the explanation and backing down. The owner sighed in relief. “You know, she attracted all sorts of attention in her teens. People called her the Saint, said she was a genius, that she was different from the rest of us. It’s hard for me not to feel jealous and inferior.” He scratched his head in embarrassment, remembering his younger days. “I mean, she’s the reason why I’m here. I thought everyone would think I was strong if I could just win against the elves that even Vermeita couldn’t beat. Real juvenile, I know.” Shinichi couldn’t detect any inauthenticity in the tavern owner’s expression as he reflected on days gone by. The young boy bowed his head and apologized. “I’m sorry, I had no intention of opening old wounds…” “Don’t worry about it. After coming here, I found something more precious than status and reputation,” replied the owner as he patted Shinichi on the back with a hearty laugh. “Owww… I guess we don’t have any bad blood between us, then. There shouldn’t be a problem in asking you for help, right? We can offer you some sort of compensation.” “What exactly do you need?” “I want to see the elves’ strength with my own eyes. I just need you to fight them.” In other words, it was a reconnaissance in force, taking advantage of their bodies as heroes. It was a logical strategy, but no one would jump at the opportunity to be a disposable pawn. That’s why Shinichi was bracing himself for the worst possible response, even offering money to sweeten the deal. Much to his surprise, the tavern owner’s eyes shined as he leaned toward Shinichi in excitement. “So you’re saying it’s all right to fight the elves?” “Huh?” “It’s only been four days since the last battle, but if Vermeita orders it, we don’t have a choice. I need to let everyone know!” “Hang on a second! I’m not following!” said Shinichi, grabbing ahold of the owner who was about to happily bound out of the tavern. “When you say, ‘It’s all right to fight the elves,’ that makes it sound like you normally don’t.” “What? Didn’t Vermeita tell you? The rule is that we can only attack the elves once every ten days.” “And why’s that?” demanded Shinichi in confusion. The owner warned him it was a long story before going into the details. “The first pope, Eument, passed away two hundred twenty years ago. Ever since, there have been numerous heroes who have tried to destroy the Elven Tomb.” In the beginning, there were only a few heroes who were up against this challenge, as spreading the word of the Goddess and defeating monsters took priority. Only one or two heroes who weren’t busy would challenge the elves, and the attacks weren’t regular. Basically, the elves would beat the crap out of them, and then they’d go back to other necessary work. “But about a hundred forty years ago, the pope at the time gave orders that a squadron of heroes actually try to defeat the elves.” They gathered a total of thirty heroes. This was a massive army for the church at the time, considering they had half of the total number of followers of modern times. “That group of heroes built a small church in front of Cemetarium Forest so they could return to the front lines after resurrecting. They attacked the elves without rest,” said the owner. “Setting a respawn point in front of your enemy’s base is pretty scummy,” scoffed Shinichi. It utilized the heroes and their resurrection capabilities to their utmost, but it wasn’t the kind of strategy that would sit well with the opposing side. “But since the elves are still here, am I right to assume that failed?” “Well, it worked out at first…” Because even if the elves were impressive magic users, there was a limit to their magic. As they kept having to kill the zombified heroes, their magic and physical endurance ground down. They had been driven into a corner, faced with only one option: Abandon their village and flee. That was when something unusual happened. “The killed heroes weren’t resurrected,” revealed the owner. “What?!” Shinichi balked, leaping from his chair in shock. The others opened their eyes wide in surprise. “I thought the heroes couldn’t die?” exclaimed Rino. “That’s how it’s supposed to be… Over these ten years, I’ve been killed more than three hundred times by those elves, and I’m still alive!” replied the tavern owner. “I’m not sure that’s something to brag about…,” said Arian with an uncomfortable smile. Shinichi was lost in thought next to her. Meaning resurrection isn’t unlimited? When Shinichi had tricked an army of ten thousand heroes into thinking they were provided fake blessings by the Evil God, he had said those would only grant them a limited number of resurrections. But maybe he had hit the nail on the head. Maybe there was a limit, even for the real heroes. But the owner said he’s died over three hundred times. Maybe it’s not the number of times. What if it’s the rate of these resurrections? For the past ten years, the tavern owner had died every ten days, leaving a decent amount of time before he needed to be resurrected again. But those thirty heroes could have been dying every few minutes—with very little time in between. Does that mean the Goddess ran out of magic to resurrect the heroes? After all, even the ocean that appeared infinite to the human eye was measurable. Something unlimited was just not possible in this world. Even if the Goddess Elazonia possessed a lot of magic, the heroes would eventually reach their end. Huh, it’s so obvious. Even if she’s a god, we can wear her down if there’s a limit to her power. Heh-heh-heh. “Someone’s in a good mood,” telepathized Celes, guessing Shinichi’s thoughts by his evil smile. She was relieved to see it. Next to her, Rino had a sad expression on her face. “Did the heroes who weren’t resurrected die?” “No, they came back like normal after about a month,” answered the tavern owner. “Oh, I’m so glad,” she said with a relieved smile. When the tavern owner saw that, he somewhat apologetically continued the story. “But while they were gone, the elves angrily destroyed the church and burned down the nearby village the heroes had been using as their base.” “So the villagers got dragged into this mess,” said Shinichi. In a fortunate turn of events, the elves had some sense, sparing the innocent civilians from a brutal massacre. But they did burn down their homes and fields, threatening to kill them next time. “This town was built by those villagers who escaped. They told the church they would refuse to cooperate with the heroes if this happened again.” The church responded by putting a rule in place that the heroes could only attack the elves once every ten days to avoid angering their settlement. “I never expected the church would listen to their demands,” Shinichi said. “Well, it was more because their heroes were dead for over a month.” Rumors had spread that the Goddess’s wrath had come down on them for wasting the gift of life, or that they were being punished for using the holy sanctuary of the church for war. All this caused the thirty heroes and the pope to lose their reputations for fighting against the elves. “The thirty heroes were demoted. Even the pope was forced to step down. Some people said we should stop attacking the Elven Tomb, but there’s no way the church could refuse to follow Pope Eument’s directives. Fast-forward to now,” concluded the tavern owner. “I feel like it’d be fun to really dig up that dirt,” said Shinichi, eyes sparkling as he wondered if there was some dark plot behind the scenes—if someone had instigated the attack knowing it would fail in hopes of stealing the pope’s seat. The tavern owner shook his head with an expression of complete disgust. “Please. We don’t really talk about that here. The church erased it from all records in the Holy City and only tell it to the heroes who’ve been dispatched here.” “Because it’d tarnish the heroes’ reputation,” Shinichi finished with an understanding nod. The threat of the undying heroes had let the church grow to where it was now. The church had everything to lose and nothing to gain if people found there was a limit to their resurrections. “I can’t believe that filthy old lady didn’t feel the need to tell me something this important,” grumbled Shinichi by telepathy. “Even if we asked her, I bet she would claim it slipped her mind,” replied Celes with a sigh as she remembered the Holy Mother’s mischievous smile. Either way, the church and the demons had a temporary peace pact in place. If all went well, they could find a way to coexist. Basically, they couldn’t simply go around killing the heroes until they couldn’t resurrect any longer. It was important information, but it served them no use. “If the Demon King had been just a little more patient and repeatedly killed Ruzal’s party…I wonder if he would have noticed and never have summoned me,” said Shinichi. “I guess that means we should be grateful for His Highness’s impatience,” replied Celes, tapping her shoe against his like a kiss. “…Are you flirting with me?” “That is for you to figure out,” she replied, trying to keep cool, but her tanned cheeks flushed red. Shinichi couldn’t stop his heart from racing faster. Arian quickly picked up on the sweet exchange and pinched his side. “Shinichi?” “What? No, it’s nothing! Ah-ha-ha-ha!” “…Idiot.” “What’s going on?” Rino peeped, as Shinichi let out a sudden laugh and Arian pouted. It wasn’t clear whether the tavern owner had noticed their strange interaction, since he just switched to the original topic. “Anyway, the rule states we can only attack once every ten days, but if Vermeita orders us otherwise… I’ll fetch the others to make a party!” “Hold on. I’d like to make preparations of my own. Let’s push it back to tomorrow,” Shinichi said. “All righty, then. We’ll do it first thing tomorrow. Boy, am I pumped!” The owner hooted and hollered, struggling to keep a lid on his excitement. He flexed his muscles, bounding out of the tavern. “What was that about?” asked Shinichi. “Maybe he’s a war junkie?” suggested Arian. “But he seems a little different from Daddy…” Shinichi had a weird hunch about something. But he turned his attention to preparing for tomorrow, giving himself free rein of the kitchen in the tavern without waiting for permission. It was so early in the morning that the sun had yet to show its face. A cool autumn breeze was blowing. Eleven heroes gathered in front of Cemetarium Forest. There were all types of heroes, from a young warrior gripping his sword to a seasoned magic user. Their varying ages and appearances made them a motley crew. The only common denominator was that every one of them was a powerful man. “Woot! I can’t take it. Let’s get this show on the road,” said one of the heroes to the owner. “Chill. It’s no fun playing with the little ladies when they’re still half-asleep.” “Ha-ha-ha, you’re not wrong.” The men let out hearty laughs and started to stretch in preparation for the coming challenge. Shinichi’s group watched them from behind a boulder a short range away. “They seem really ready to go,” Arian noted hopefully. “Uh-huh…,” said Shinichi, forehead creased. “Isn’t it weird to get so pumped over a losing fight?” “Is it? I imagine His Highness would be overjoyed at such a battle.” Celes cocked her head to the side. “That’s just a problem with your standards,” retorted Shinichi. Even among those with muscles for brains, the Demon King and his wife were probably the only ones so obsessed with battle that when they had no equally strong opponent to challenge them, they became bored with victory to the point that they started to hope for defeat. “I think most people don’t like actually fighting—but the feeling of winning. They prefer the glory of victory over defeat, right?” “There isn’t anything wrong with what you’re saying, but I’m not sure I agree…,” said Arian with a strange expression on her face. As a swordswoman, she did understand why someone would hope for a heated battle. “And if the owner’s been grappling with them for over ten years, he deviates from what’s normal. He’s practically addicted to war,” claimed Celes. “I guess that’s true. But the other guys seem almost too excited…” Shinichi’s face said he wasn’t entirely convinced. But there was no real issue if the heroes helped display their opponents’ strength. As Shinichi watched the men, the sun started to peek its face over the horizon. The owner faced the forest and roared. “Come, elves! Show yourselves! Or we’ll set fire to your beloved forest!” His voice bounced off the trees. From the shadows of the deep forest came three young girls. Each one of them had porcelain skin and golden hair that sparkled. Their limbs were as long and slender as a model’s, and their faces were so perfect, they could have been chiseled by a master artist. And of course, their long ears ended in sharp points. “The elves are here!” The men let out a cry, erupting with suppressed excitement, rushing toward the guardians of the forest who had pummeled them many times over. “““Oh, please! Bully us to death!!””” And then the men put their masochistic fetishes on full display to the world. “.…What?” As Shinichi’s team lost all ability to form words, the elves faced off against the men, each launching off a magic spell with pure disgust in her eyes. “Come no closer, humans! Flame Blast!” The three elves called forth three huge pillars of fire, engulfing three of the men rushing toward them. But as their bodies were incinerated by the explosion, the men let out cries of ecstasy. “Thank you!” “Oof, your love is so hot!” “…Ew,” Celes involuntarily scoffed, her gaze frosted over. But if the men could have heard her insult, they would have taken it as the icing on the cake. “Today will be the day I’ll finally be kicked with your fair foot!” “Don’t come near me, pervert! Suffocate!” “Paradise is getting smacked after I suck on your long ears!” “I’d rather die! Ice Javelin!” Even as their men were killed, the deviants exhibited no fear, rushing into the fire to get taken out by the elves. Only the owner managed to reach one of them. After all, the only reason he worked out was to savor this pain for longer. He fended off the whirlwind of attacks with his steely muscles. “For ten years, I have yearned for nothing but those long ears. At long last, I get to fulfill my desires… Go on! Pierce my chest with those pointed ears!” “““What a creep—!””” spat everyone in Shinichi’s vicinity as the owner spread his arms wide, lunging forward to hug the closest elf. With a graceful duck, she managed to avoid his embrace, leaping backward into a somersault kick reinforced by magic. “Get lost, human trash!” As hard as steel, her slender foot aimed for the center of his groin. “—!!!” He let out a soundless yelp as he was flung high in the sky, looking positively rapturous. When he crashed to the ground on his head, he took one peaceful breath, even though he must have been in immense pain. Then his body was wrapped in a mysterious light before it disappeared. “Geez! All humans are the dregs of society!” spat an elf in front of the forest after the heroes had all disappeared. Even Shinichi and the others couldn’t think of a good retort. “Are all the heroes perverts…?” he asked hesitantly. “Well, there was that one bishop who loved underage girls, the Saint who’s bonkers, the Holy Mother who practically salivates over boys in love… And now we have masochistic kinksters with elf fetishes. She’s right. They’re all human trash,” said Celes. “I-I’m not a pervert!” Arian exclaimed, but Shinichi wasn’t entirely sure. After all, she’d made him lick the scales on her neck, which was close enough to perversion. Behind him stood Rino, looking confused. “Hey, Shinichi. Why did those heroes seem happy about being killed?” “Um, let’s see… There are some real weirdos in the world who like to get hurt by the people they love…,” he started, managing to string together a sentence. How awkward was it to have to explain BDSM to an innocent girl? Rino tilted her head to the side and then gently pinched Shinichi’s arm between her small fingers. “Did that make you like me?” “Uh…” Shinichi felt hot under his collar when Rino gazed up at him, seeming more mature than usual. He quickly gathered himself, smiling in response and patting her head gently. “You don’t have to do that when I already love you.” “Really? Yay!” she squealed, hopping in joy without any trace of the flirtatiousness from the moment before. Shinichi was relieved when Celes silently kicked him in the ass. “Yow!” “Do you like how that feels? Sick jerk.” “What do you want me to do?! Say thank you?” “If that makes you happy, then I’ll—!” started Arian. “Stop! Your kicks are no joke!” cried Shinichi, scampering from her as she drew back her leg. She hated being outdone. They were making such a racket that anyone would have noticed them, even if they didn’t have long ears. “You, over there! Come out! Stop hiding!” came the angry voice of one of the elves. She yelled she’d blow up the boulder they were hiding behind otherwise. Shinichi let out a loud laugh. “Heh-heh-heh. I guess you found us.” “Oh, save us your attempts to look cool,” Celes said as they stepped out. For a moment, the elves were confused by the makeup of their party. After all, it was rare to see one boy accompanied by three girls, but their faces quickly burned red. One angrily shouted at them. “I bet you’re another one of those panting perverts, huh? Saying you want to lick us up and down. I’ll kill you!” “Chill out. I’m not that into elf ears,” replied Shinichi. ……Pinch. Celes tweaked the skin on his back. If they weren’t in this situation, he probably would have clarified—“Not that I don’t like elf ears”—but given the gravity of their circumstances, he pretended not to notice. The lead elf balled up her fists. “Whatever! You’re still lowlifes planning on destroying our tomb. I’ll murder you!” “Only capable of thinking of two options, huh?” Shinichi heaved out a sigh, looking at the elf who was cute but psycho. That said, their reactions weren’t out of place, given their unfortunate interactions with humans until now. “Let me clear the air. We’re not like those pervs. We came here to talk,” said Shinichi. ““To talk?”” balked the two elves in the back, cautious but interested in Shinichi. He did seem different from the heroes. But their leader rebuked him, snorting. “Hmph. You think we’d believe anything a human says?” “Oh, don’t be like that. If you would be so kind as to lend your exquisite ears and listen to the humble request of a wretched human, I would be grateful beyond words.” Shinichi tried to butter them up. “I suppose, if you’re going to put it like that!” The leader seemed flattered, unclenching her fists. That was easy, Shinichi thought, offering the wooden box he’d prepared earlier. “I hope you can accept this as a small apology for the trouble those perverts have caused.” “An offering? How civilized,” said the lead elf haughtily, accepting the box and removing the lid. Inside was a loaf of bread with a golden crust, wafting with the sweetly sour scent of grapes. “What is it?” “Pound cake made with the world-famous raisins and grape jam from Uverse.” The day before, he had made a sample batch for Arian, Celes, and Rino. He could feel them holding back their drool behind him. It was, by all measures, delicious. The elf’s face twisted in disgust at the sight of it. “Right. But how do I know there’s not some aphrodisiac in it? Like in erotic novels!” “I would never! And hold up—there are erotic novels in this world? And you’re admitting to reading them?!” “O-o-o-obviously not! There’s no way a cultured elf would read crude drivel!” Her cheeks reddened. Her two companions looked at each other. Their gaze told the whole story—she was reaching puberty—and no amount of denial would hide the obvious truth. “Anyway, just try it. If you find it’s drugged, you can beat the living shit out of us. Besides, shouldn’t you be able to use a simple detoxification spell?” Shinichi pointed out. “Obviously!” she said, suspiciously sniffing the pound cake before picking it up and taking a bite. She chewed in silence for a while before nodding, apparently impressed by it. “Huh. The barbarians aren’t bad at cooking,” she observed honestly, handing the remaining pound cake to her two friends who happily devoured it. But they didn’t seem all that astonished by its taste. Celes, Arian, and Rino let their jaws drop in shock. “Ludicrous! How can you scarf down that pound cake…?!” exclaimed Celes. “I can’t believe it…,” Rino added. “You should savor it more,” warned Arian. The two demons trembled with fear. Even Arian looked on enviously, fretting that the elves were wasting the treat. The lead elf saw the girls’ reactions and boastfully puffed out her small chest. “Heh, making a big fuss over this shit? Humans are so crude.” “Oh, that’s embarrassing.” Shinichi flashed her an appeasing smile, but he was running through the possibilities in his mind. I already knew the demons have the worst taste. But that pound cake was so good, even Arian thought it was a treat. Maybe these elves have really refined palates? It was strange to think a small settlement of a hundred elves with no capacity for trade would develop a taste for the gourmet. And she said that they had “novels.” Even in this alternative universe, novels were a thing since ancient times. But with Copy spells, there wasn’t a need for a good printing press that could handle large volumes, which made novels hard to come by. Reading was a luxury only accessible to the upper echelon in major metropolises. It wasn’t something that farmers in small villages could easily enjoy. The literacy rates in cities were okay, though the same couldn’t be said about the villages. The masses would never learn to read or write, opting to enjoy the oral tales of a passing minstrel instead. This was the main reason the minstrels could influence people. Based on their reactions, I think it’s safe to assume reading is a basic right for elves, and they can even indulge in reading novels. This was weird, too. It would make sense for cultural developments to abound in the cities, but this was a small settlement tucked away deep in the forest. What do they know about technology—and science? He was starting to feel the need to be more cautious. He didn’t feel that way when he watched them fend off eleven powerful heroes without breaking a sweat, but he hid his new emotions with a smile. “Why don’t we finally introduce ourselves? My name is Shinichi Sotoyama.” “Ha! You think a dignified elf would give their name to a boorish human?” spat their leader. “You tell him, Clarissa,” one of her friends egged on. “Wow, Clarissa, you’re a role model for all elves,” added the other. “Shut up! Don’t tell him!” snapped Clarissa at the friends who had betrayed her. “Are all elves brain-dead?” asked Shinichi telepathically. “I have no idea,” replied Celes, glancing away. It seemed she knew she could be dumb sometimes, too. “Let’s cut to the chase. If you agree to our proposal, we’ll do something about those perverted heroes,” said Shinichi. “Really?!” cried Clarissa, snapping up the bait Shinichi dangled in front of her. “Really. It’ll be difficult for me to get things to end forever, but I could give you a short break—at least a few months.” At the moment, the Holy Mother basically held the reins for the entire church. If she gave the order, it would be easy to bring down the number of attacks to once a month. If the elf fetishists revolted, the church could haul their bodies away to the far west. As undying heroes, they would obviously resurrect at the nearest church, but it would take them months to travel back from the far end of the continent. And if it really came down to it, Shinichi could find some sadistic dark elves in the demon world and get the heroes obsessed with them instead. “If you use those months to relocate, you’ll never be attacked by the heroes again,” suggested Shinichi. Clarissa’s eyebrows shot up. “Excuse me? Why would we have to run from crude humans?!” “Even with magic, it’s difficult to move all our homes and farms…,” added one of her companions. “Besides, we can’t leave the tomb,” finished the other. “I see. That’s clearly not an option,” said Shinichi, backtracking even though he was annoyed inside. It would be easy for us to investigate the Elven Tomb if they just left their village… There was no way that trick was going to work. After all, the elves had endured the heroes’ attacks for more than two hundred years without ever abandoning the ruins. But the fact that they value this place so much really makes me want to check it out. This was the only lead they’d finally managed to find on the Goddess Elazonia. There was no way he was about to let that slip away. “In that case, I won’t suggest that you move. Well, how about you spend time with us if we fend off the heroes?” “Meaning…you’re planning on getting us sloshed to sleep with us, huh?! You absolute creep!” shouted Clarissa.
Chapter 50
51 min read