Chapter 4 I Don’t Need No Groom!! Four days after their initial visit to the Holy Mother Cardinal’s orphanage, Shinichi and Celes returned to the red-roofed building for girls, cloaked under the guise of a merchant and his maid. “I apologize for visiting so late. Is Cardinal Vermeita in?” asked Shinichi. “Oh, Mr. Manju. A pleasure to see you again,” the priestess warmly greeted them upon opening the door. She ushered them in with an amicable smile, but Shinichi didn’t miss the slight hostility and fear that flashed in her eyes. He stepped in and acted like he hadn’t noticed. “I can’t tell you how happy I am that you stopped by. Lady Vermeita has worried herself sick that she hadn’t expressed her thanks properly.” “Ha-ha, well, no need,” he dismissed. As they exchanged pleasantries and feigned ignorance of their ulterior motives, she guided them to the far end of the estate, a room for the cardinal’s personal use. “Lady Vermeita, Mr. Manju has arrived,” the priestess chirped when they arrived at the door. “Please come in.” The Holy Mother Cardinal beckoned them from inside the room. As directed, Shinichi went to take a step inside when Celes yanked his arm and made him stop in his tracks. “It’s a trap.” “Yeah, I know.” Shinichi chuckled in response to her short warning via Telepathy. He could guess that they’d been expecting his return and had planned something based on the priestess’s nervousness, even without checking for the presence of magic. “Anyway, it’s a bit late for a warning. If it were me, I’d have set a trap capable of blowing away the entire building. At the very least.” “That’s absurd! The children are sleeping on the floors above us.” “Which would make it the biggest ace in the hole ever. That’s a mental blind spot, right? You’d assume no one would ever do it. Well, I don’t think she’s that despicable.” Shinichi stepped inside the room. Celes didn’t hesitate to follow him in, and the door clicked quietly shut behind them. With that, a set of complex magic circles emerged out of the ceiling, floor, and all four walls, ensnaring them. “Brave of you to walk so fearlessly into a trap.” The Holy Mother Cardinal rose slowly from the desk, one of the few pieces of furniture in her minimalistic room. The glow from the magic circles illuminated the tender, loving smile of a mother, as if she were looking at her mischievous little children. “Cardinal Vermeita. Thank you for seeing us on such short notice. By the way, what do these do?” Shinichi jabbed the magic circles, completely unbothered by the situation. Vermeita was unable to hold back her laughter, hooting at his brazenness. “Ha-ha, well, it’s so we don’t wake the children. Let’s see. There’s a little bit of Silence and Protection. Then we have some Acid Rain, Lightning Wall, Poison Cloud, and Land Bite, along with a few others.” “Heh-heh, enough to blow a body to smithereens,” Shinichi chuckled as he examined the symbols and pictures in the circles. All you needed to cast a spell was magic power and a visualization of its effects. There isn’t any need to yell something like “Fireball!” But the more vivid the mental image, the stronger the spell. Most magic users relied on words—otherwise known as incantations—to enhance them. There were, of course, disadvantages to using an incantation. First, it took time to chant them. Second, because humans only have one mouth, they could only unleash one at a time. On the other hand, magic circles didn’t have any of these disadvantages. By laying down one’s imagination as letters, symbols, and diagrams, a circle procured magic and allowed one to fire off a spell quickly. It could even cast multiple spells at once. These magic circles were helpful in complicated spells, including Teleport and Summon, by acting as additional magical support. The only two real disadvantages were the long setup time and their lack of portability due to being such large drawings. But they were ideal in cases where one was lying in wait. “It’s so like an undying hero to set a suicide trap to kill your enemy,” Shinichi commented. “I was scared the first time, too, but I got used to it after a while.” “…That’s what she said.” “I’ll crack open your skull if you keep joking around,” Celes growled as she latched her hand onto his head, intent on punishing him for his dirty mind. He let out a shriek of pain, but he was still cracking up on the inside. I wonder what you’d think if you knew you were a Swampman, Holy Mother. Would she even get it? Would it leave her confused? Would she lose her mind? Or would she have the will to get over it? He couldn’t guess what was going on inside her head just by looking at her plastered smile. “Well then, Mr. Manju. Have you come tonight to show off how close you two are?” “No, no. If we had, I’m sure you wouldn’t have given us such a warm welcome.” After all, she’d set a trap that’d easily kill a normal person and leave nothing behind, rendering them incapable of resurrection. Vermeita must have discovered their true identities and goal. “Well, I thought you’d humor me with a sales talk. You know, make a deal or something,” Shinichi began. “All right. Would you mind showing me your true identities?” asked Vermeita. “Oh, how rude of me.” Shinichi had forgotten that he was still in his middle-aged merchant form. He looked back at the maid. Celes had already guessed there was no longer any reason to hide, so she dispelled Illusion. “Nice to meet you, for real this time. My name is Shinichi Sotoyama. You can just call me Shinichi.” “I am Celestia. I go by Celes.” As she got an eyeful of the young boy with black hair and the dark-skinned woman with pointy ears, Vermeita wasn’t unsettled, but she was bug-eyed at the sight of the first demon she’d ever seen. “A dark elf… You really are an agent of the Demon King.” “How did you figure it out anyway?” He didn’t hesitate to ask a bold question. Vermeita nodded pleasantly. “I may not be as well connected as Cardinal Snobe, but I have my ways. I happened to come across the name of the merchant Manju in Boar Kingdom.” Even after the orphans left the orphanage for good, Vermeita continued to fret about their well-being, often visiting their homes to check in or sending letters and telepathic messages to those far away. Out of them, there was one man who’d become a priest in Boar Kingdom. She’d happened to hear him talk about a strange merchant, Manju. After Shinichi’s visit to the orphanage four days ago, Vermeita had started collecting information on Manju when she remembered the priest. She asked him to look into it further and eventually determined it was the same person. “A certain figure had proposed that the king of Boar Kingdom make a deal with the demons. This individual also visited one of the most prominent jewelers in the Holy City and immediately afterward handed one of the cardinals an incredible sum of money. His companion was an inhumanly powerful magic user… Well, even with just that information, it’s enough to connect the dots and make one suspect he’s connected to the demons.” “This is what happens when you’re lazy and use the same name,” Celes scolded. “Whoops, how careless of me…” Vermeita smiled patiently at them, just as when she was speaking with the children. But her eyes glinted, sharp. She was prepared to activate the magic circles if they made the smallest move. “And what is it you wished to speak with me about?” “You’ve already guessed, haven’t you?” Otherwise, she would have activated the magic circles when they walked into the room, instead of prattling on with a pointless conversation. Vermeita smiled at his guess but remained silent. Shinichi offered to answer in her stead. “I want you to join us.” It was an extreme request, especially to one of the highest members of the church. It was essentially asking her to betray her own organization. But she must have predicted this was the case for she was neither startled nor angry. She nodded as if her suspicions had been confirmed. “Before that, may I ask why you selected me?” “Cronklum is gonna be defeated soon anyway. There’s nothing to gain from working with him. Snobe is too hedonistic and greedy. It makes him dangerous. Effectus is too stubborn. He’d never listen to what we have to say. On the other hand, you strike me as a good person. You’re popular with the people. Plus, you’re open-minded enough to listen to the likes of me.” “I’ll take your words as a compliment.” He’d basically admitted she would be the easiest cardinal to manipulate, but she didn’t seem to care. “By the way, do you know why Cronklum is gonna be defeated soon?” he asked. “Only a bit. As I was looking into this ‘Manju’ character, I stumbled upon information that a popular singer was interfering with Miss Sanctina’s mission.” “Hmm. It seems you’re missing the most recent development.” “Care to enlighten me?” “That singer is the daughter of the Demon King. Sanctina has fallen head over heels in love with her and has gone so far as to betray the church.” “What?!” Vermeita shrieked, unable to suppress her shock. She’d figured from their interactions that the outward purity of the Saint was hiding something sinister. But never in a million years would she have guessed that Sanctina would realize she was interested in the same gender and betray the church. “If you work with us, we’ll give you other pieces of information. They’d benefit you, for sure. Obviously, we’re also prepared to give you gold and material goods.” “You’re a generous one. Even with that donation of yours,” she commented. “Oh, that’d be the Demon King’s money, not mine.” “…Sir Shinichi?” Celes sent him a piercing glare. He whistled, pretending not to notice. As she witnessed their friendly exchange, Vermeita broke out into a smile, but her face clamped down immediately into something more serious. “A tempting proposal, I must say. But if this alliance ever came to light, I’d lose everything. That means the children would have nowhere to go.” She explained that was why she couldn’t take such a risk. “If that happened, all the children could go to the castle of the Demon King. We’re going to be swamped with the potato harvest soon, and I want to try sowing wheat, so we could use the extra help. And then there’s the Demon King’s daughter—her name’s Rino. It’d make me really happy if she could have more friends to play with.” “That sounds nice. But I have to wonder if the children wouldn’t end up slaughtered and stewed.” “If you’d just meet Rino, you’d immediately understand why that would never happen. She’s a total angel. I mean, even Saint Sanctina fell for her.” “‘A total angel’?” Vermeita repeated the unfamiliar words slowly. “Oh, that just means she’s a supercute, supergood kid.” All Vermeita could do was shake her head since she didn’t know the person in question. “I’ll also let you know that the Demon King doesn’t eat humans. He doesn’t have weird ideas like trying to conquer the world. He likes to fight with the powerful and dote on his daughter. He’s basically a big-ass muscle head.” “That’s not a very nice way to speak of your master.” Vermeita chuckled wryly, but she didn’t seem to doubt him. She didn’t even need to use Liar Detector. Based on the way Shinichi talked in excitement and exasperation, Celes silently affirming him by nodding along, Vermeita knew they were telling the truth. “Let’s stop talking about what I’d do if I were discovered. I even admit that it’s possible we misunderstand the demons. But the church could never coexist with these ‘evil creatures.’ What would you intend for me to do about that?” “All you need to do is keep sending your heroes. We’ll keep up appearances as enemies. If there’s an attack once a week, well, let’s just say the Demon King would be happy to have someone to tussle with.” It would dishearten the people to know the demons hadn’t been beaten back yet, but if the two parties continued with this little tableau of combat, the people would be none the wiser. “On top of that, if necessary, we’ll eliminate the followers of the Materialistic Cardinal and the Agreeable Cardinal so they are pushed further and further away from becoming the next pope,” Shinichi tacked on. “I had an inkling,” started Vermeita, “that the one who chased off Ruzal and his party of heroes from Boar Kingdom…” “…was me. I broke them and forced them to surrender. Easy peasy,” finished Shinichi. The corners of his mouth curled up, suggesting he could do worse—much worse. He didn’t know if Vermeita bought it, but she looked away as she quietly contemplated his proposal. “And once you’re pope and you have real power in the church, you could help us out by starting the reconciliation process with demonkind. But if that’s impossible, we can keep up the enemy act. We could even see a drop in the wars between humans, ’cause you’d have us as your common enemy. That would make things a lot easier for the rulers, I think.” “…You are a scary one,” murmured Vermeita with a sigh, impressed that he’d planned this far ahead despite his age. “You’re offering me an escape route if things go south. You’d make me pope… There’s certainly a lot to gain.” “Right? If your goal is to become pope and not annihilate the demons, it’d do you a lot of good to work with us. We’ll make your dreams come true.” Vermeita felt a sudden shiver run up her spine as she wondered how much Shinichi actually knew about her. But she kept her emotions under wraps as she began to shake her head slowly. “This has been a fairly interesting discussion, but I must decline your offer. After weighing the dangers and returns, I still feel I have too much to lose.” “Hmm, that’s unfortunate.” But his expression didn’t seem upset at all. I’d say it wasn’t blind faith or personal preference. She calculated the return on investment and concluded she should decline. Meaning the scales could turn if he was able to offer a reward that outweighed the risks. He’d imagined things might end up this way. He was prepared to raise his wager. “Can you say the same thing after looking at this?” Shinichi pulled a large envelope from his jacket with dramatic flair. “What’s this?” “Open it and you’ll see,” he prompted as Vermeita tentatively took it from his hands. Celes turned her back without a word, showing Vermeita that she wouldn’t launch a surprise attack as Vermeita looked at the contents. “……” The cardinal stared at the envelope in silence for a moment. Alarm bells were ringing in her mind. She knew that there would be no going back once she looked inside. At the same time, her heart was pounding so loudly it filled her ears, as if to chorus, What you desire is right here in your hands. “…I’ll take a look.” Curiosity trumped fear. Inside the envelope was a sheaf of paper. The moment she saw it, her entire body stiffened. Drawn there was the beautiful, pure world that she’d always yearned for. “Th-this…?!” Her hands shook violently, and her heart throbbed wildly, but her eyes were glued to the pages. Shinichi smiled, satisfied. “Heh-heh-heh. Feast your eyes on this! A secret love affair between two boys…a comic about Boys Love, otherwise known as a BL manga!” “‘Bee ell manga’?!” Vermeita repeated. The concept of manga didn’t exist in this world—other than in this grand reveal. Of course, it was beyond her comprehension and almost went completely over her head. But she understood that the pictures and words on paper depicted a passionate exchange between two boys. It was the beautiful world, a dirty world—one that she’d pined after for so long. Four days prior, right after Shinichi and Celes did a deep dive into their tragic pasts, the pair started to talk strategy. Shinichi made a bold declaration: “Vermeita’s into BL.” “Bee ell?” “BL, short for Boys Love. She gets off on stories about gay guys.” “Uh-huh…” Celes didn’t really understand what he was saying. “I witnessed the incubus ramming into those criminals, but it seemed painful—and uncomfortable to look at.” “Ah, well, see, the real deal isn’t the same as two-dimensional BL. And it’s gotta be between two hot dudes…” The most hardcore BL lovers could get off on uggos or beefcakes, but normies preferred drawings of slender, beautiful young men. “Okay, fine. How do you know she is into this BL?” “I could tell just by the hungry look in her eyes. She looked at the boys of the orphanage like she was a predator.” She’d tried so hard to hide it, but Shinichi had seen the dark desire flicker past her gentle gaze for just a moment. “When I first heard that Vermeita opened an orphanage, I actually suspected that she’d wanted to make a place to get it on with young boys.” It made it even more suspicious that the Holy Mother Cardinal was well into her forties and unmarried. No shadows of lovers or romance lurked behind her. In truth, there were a few people who’d thought the same thing, leading the masses to trudge up to the orphanage out of sheer curiosity and to sniff out any incriminating details. But no matter how much he investigated, he was unable to find any indication that she’d ever laid hands on the children. “I’m embarrassed to have doubted her,” the jeweler had admitted, even though he’d been the one to give Shinichi that information. “But she’s an ambitious woman. She’s climbed her way up to cardinal. Why would she open an orphanage out of goodwill? Or even as a bid to gain popularity? Especially if it could become a liability later.” It wasn’t just an additional financial burden. If someone were to kidnap the children, they could manipulate her. And if she wasn’t using them to manufacture some pawns like Cronklum had, it did seem like the risk outweighed the reward. “That’s because you’re twisted and refuse to believe in the goodness of others,” she quipped. “I won’t deny that. But there was also a chance that the Holy Mother Cardinal was dirty, too.” That’s why he’d risked revealing his true self by going to the orphanage and engaging with her directly. “It’s no lie that she loves the children, but at the same time, she’s a pervert. She gets off on seeing relationships between boys.” The little boys had chattered on casually as they played with the spinning tops: “Let me go again! One more time!”; “You have to do whatever I say, all right?”; “You have to be my servant!” Most people wouldn’t pay much attention to the conversations between children, but Vermeita was too excited to hide it. “That’s also why she separates the orphanage between boys and girls. It’s a way to protect the girls and reduce suspicion, but she made a paradise for herself of exclusively boys. I bet she was banking on if things went really well, she’d get to witness an actual relationship blossom between them… Heh-heh-heh, I know she’s the enemy, but I have to give her mad props.” “Why are you praising her?” Celes looked down at him with a cold glare. Don’t tell me you’re into this, too, she seemed to say. “Whoa! Whoa! Hold up, I’m not into this kind of thing. I only know this ’cause, like, one of my geeky friends has this sister who’s really into BL. He’s the one who told me all this.” “…I see.” “You don’t believe me? Seriously, I—” “I completely believe you. You’re nothing more than a perverted womanizer,” snapped Celes, looking all huffy as she turned away. Not that she’d ever tell him that she was grumpy because he’d talked about other women from his past. In all honesty, her fears were unfounded, because the girl was into BL hardcore, and she’d rather pair Shinichi with her brother than with herself. “Anyway, I think Vermeita would happily join forces with the demons if it meant her BL dreams could come true.” “Do you think that would actually work?” Celes was skeptical, especially since she didn’t really understand the appeal of BL, but Shinichi was confident that he knew the inner workings of this crowd. “That girl that I mentioned? Super-hardcore. She’d always attend conventions in the summer and winter, and it was standard for her to waste hundreds of thousands of yen on fan-made comics of her favorite pairings. She’d chase down her favorite manga, travel to different prefectures all around Japan to attend region-exclusive events and musicals. Geez, I didn’t know if she lived for BL or if she needed it to live.” “I literally have no idea what you’re talking about. But I get the sense that she’s also a sexual deviant.” Celes had no way of knowing this but she was spot on, since that girl was the type of person who would screech: If only that religion had never spread to Japan! We’d be a country brimming with BL by now! “That girl went all out. But Vermeita’s different. She’s only ever been able to fantasize in her mind. She’s never enjoyed fan art or talked to a friend with common interests. I bet her desires have been simmering for a long time, and they’re close to boiling over. She’d bite if we dangled some bait in front of her.” “I suppose it’s better than breaking her spirit with some dirty method of yours.” She was still doubtful as she nodded and accepted his plans. With the exception of her love for BL, Vermeita was a righteous person who’d saved those children. It wouldn’t sit right with them to corner her with some incriminating rumors or torture her to mental oblivion. Their consciences would be clear if they could just entice her with a prize. “Which means we need to go back to the King’s castle to prepare said bait.” “Understood.” Celes nodded before taking out some chalk, drawing a magic circle for Teleport on the floor. As she did, Shinichi scampered to find the owner of the inn, placing five gold coins in his paw to pay for ten nights upfront and the promise of no one disturbing them. This was to ensure no one erased the magic circle before their return. After all preparations were made, the two went back to the Demon King’s castle for the first time in a while. “Welcome home, Shinichi!” cried Rino. “Ah, hey! Unfair! Rino!” Arian whined. Rino and Arian both sprang up to hug Shinichi, who was trying his best to not topple over as they crashed into him. The two had been antsy, waiting for their return after Celes sent a telepathic message that they were coming. Shinichi chuckled. “Ha-ha, based on your reactions, I’m guessing nothing out of the ordinary has happened.” “Nope, Tigris Kingdom wasn’t attacked or anything!” Arian gave him an eager nod. Shinichi began to stare at her very seriously. “…Hey, have you been resurrected since becoming a hero?” “Nope! Why do you ask?” Shinichi laughed and brushed it off. Even if she was a “Swampman,” he wouldn’t care. Their memories together would still be real. He was more worried that she’d be upset if she found out, and he didn’t want to see that, which was why he was relieved to hear his fears were baseless. Shinichi called out to Sanctina, standing nearby. She’d been busy glowering at him, seething in envy as he held Rino in his arms. “I have a question: How are same-sex relationships handled?” “Oh, it’s a wonderful thing. Particularly between two women. That’s how love ought to be,” she declared with a straight face. “I wasn’t asking for your personal opinion. I want to know how they’re handled in the church,” he added in complete exasperation. “‘Handled,’ huh… They’re not recommended since there would be no children in that union. The church won’t release a public statement since there are a few people who are against doing that, but they aren’t punished or anything.” “Surprisingly tolerant. I was sure they’d be super-strict, crying out ‘kill all the gays!’ You know, that sort of thing.” Throughout the history of Earth, there had been quite a few countries and religions that deemed homosexuality an inexcusable crime. “But the primary deity is a woman, and the church doesn’t really seem to take a strong stance on sex in general, so I guess it makes sense, once you think about it.” After all, the Materialistic Cardinal held one of the highest positions in the church, and he was public about his multiple lovers. Shinichi got the impression that the church didn’t say much about their followers’ sex lives as long as they weren’t doing anything illegal. “Meaning we won’t run into any problems using this to negotiate.” If the possession of homosexual materials could lead to arrest, the risk would be too high, and the Holy Mother Cardinal would turn them down. Shinichi was relieved to hear that wasn’t the case. “And Rino, I’m sorry to ask you for a favor right off the bat, but I was wondering if you could introduce me to the dvergr who drew your picture book.” “I don’t mind. Do you want a book drawn for you, too?” “Yeah, uh-huh.” There was no way he was going to slip up and tell this innocent child that he wanted something with explicit boy-on-boy scenes. “I can draw a little bit, but it’s heavily stylized, inspired by the god of manga. What I need is something more detailed and artistic. Maybe even realistic.” The aesthetic tastes of this world were way different than Shinichi’s, seeing that he was used to manga as a Japanese person. It was safest to go with a more realistic style when he took that difference into consideration. “It’ll take too long to draw if it’s hyperrealistic, though, and I need it to be finished quickly—” “It’s always so hard to understand what you’re saying, Shinichi…,” Rino murmured, warping her face into a dejected look. “How about we go to meet the artist before we get too wrapped up in concerns?” suggested Celes with a pat on Shinichi’s shoulder. The group filed down to the basement of the castle to a room with a magic circle drawn on the floor. “I shall be back shortly.” Celes stepped on the magic circle, chanting the incantation for Teleport, and disappeared. “Are there dvergr artists in the demon world?” “Yessiree. Other than Grandpa Ivan, the others are down there. I guess the sky is too bright on the surface for them,” Rino offered. As they continued to chat, Celes reappeared with a short, rotund dwarf woman with blue-black skin. “This is Lady Mimolette, an illustrator for children’s books,” Celes introduced. “…Pleasure.” Mimolette’s face showed signs of fatigue as she bowed her head. “You seem a little tired. Are you all right?” asked Arian, concerned. “…Oh no, I’m just worrying about my craft,” she grumbled. Her voice did seem to lack energy. “Are you really okay?” He was growing worried. “When she’s inspired, she’s unstoppable. I suppose it depends on what you need.” Celes urged him to continue, though he remained hesitant. “I’m sorry for calling you on such short notice. I was hoping you could draw a manga for me.” “Manga?” Mimolette echoed the unfamiliar word. “It’ll be easier to show you, I think. I have a digital copy of a weekly boy’s manga magazine—” He slid his smartphone from his pocket, firing up the digital reader app. “You add words to the pictures, spice it up with some sound effects, divide them into panels. Rinse and repeat until it flows from drawing to drawing to tell a tale.” “Hmm, this is interesting.” It was the first time she’d seen something of this sort. She was attracted to its novelty and technique, and a sparkle returned to her eyes. “With picture books, one page is one scene. That means long and complex stories are difficult to tell, but this resolves that issue. The successive panels make the pictures come to life. It may be hard to draw more pictures, but it might not be too bad, since it’s restricted to black and white. The lines are simpler, too.” “One glance is enough for you to analyze all that, huh? So it’s true: The dvergr really are geniuses…” Shinichi was petrified, but he held their talent in high esteem. “Well then, I could easily use this manga style, but what is it you want me to draw?” “Well, that…” He glanced to the side. “Lady Rino, I believe it’s time for your bath.” “Huh? But I want to listen to what Shinichi wants…,” Rino protested as Celes gently nudged her toward the exit, obeying his pointed gaze. “Lady Rino, I’ll wash your back,” chirped Sanctina as she chased after them, a trail of blood gushing out of her nose. “Umm, should I go, too?” Arian offered, gathering from the situation that everyone should vacate the premises. “No. You can stay if you want.” He turned to the dvergr and very timidly started to explain his request. “It’s a little bit of an embarrassing request. A boy-on-boy, hot-and-steamy love sto—” “My kin!” she exclaimed with a twinkle in her eyes as she grabbed his hands before he could finish talking. “A fellow purveyor of romance between men! Oh, why didn’t you tell me sooner? Ah yes, relationships between men and woman are bound by lust! It’s much, much better to witness a passionate friendship between men bloom into romance! Oh, their love is pure and true! Wouldn’t you agree?” “S-sure…,” stammered Shinichi. “Ask my pop, and he’ll say it’s ‘unsanitary’ and ‘not for children’… And I’m like, ‘It’s not like I wanna show kids, you big, fat moron!’ Like, shit! Can’t you tell the difference?! And it’s got nothin’ to do with you! We’re all free to draw whatever we like, ain’t that right?! It’s none of your friggin’ business!” “……” Shinichi was at a loss. It was apparent that the dwarf had been bottling up all her frustration, and it was suddenly rushing out in a torrent of words. “…I guess I know why you had artist’s block. We’re not gonna judge you—in fact, we’ll cooperate—so could you please draw me a BL manga?” “‘Bee ell’?” asked Mimolette. “It’s short for Boys Love. In my world, that’s what they call manga featuring love stories between two beautiful men. Also sometimes called yaoi.” “I see. BL, huh. Yaoi… Oh, joy. Hee-hee-hee,” giggled the dvergr eerily, mirroring BL fangirls back on Earth. “Yes, let me draw this BL manga for you. But can you give me some ideas for the plot? It’ll go faster if I have live models for the characters and speech.” “Models? Well, there’s that man-loving incubus—” started Shinichi. “DE-NIED!” boomed the dvergr with a severe expression. “Yeah, he’s good looking and all, ’cause he’s an incubus. He’s got that going for him. But he only has eyes for sex, sex, sex! He’ll force himself on any man! That makes him a rapist! If it was one of those stories that started off as a friends-with-benefits type situation and blossomed into love…I could go with that, but he’s got no goals other than sex—and nothing else! That’s not any different from hetero porn, now is it?!” “Hmm, valid points.” “Besides! The best part is their initial resistance, right?! Like, ‘I can’t, but he’s just so…’ That’s the part that gets me. But the dude doesn’t even hesitate. Like, if he just bangs ’em and leaves, that makes him a gigolo! Shit, there’s no love there—!” She howled from the very pit of her soul. “Yes, of course,” he agreed. “I’d be pretty angry if someone did the same thing with yuri, or girl-on-girl manga.” “Shinichi…” Arian was a bit disgusted, taking a tentative step back from Shinichi upon catching a glimpse of his true nature—a man from the bloodline of the pervert capital of the world, Japan. At the same time, the dvergr seemed to be calming down from her tizzy, tiring herself out from all her shouting. “Huff, huff…sorry, anyway, not him, please.” “I’m sorry. I can’t really think of any other models…” “…You’re pretty close with His Highness, aren’t you?” “Hey! No! Stop right there!” Every last bit of blood drained from Shinichi’s face as the dwarf eyed him with a disgustingly suggestive look. Just imaging the final piece made Shinichi feel sick to his stomach. More importantly, he wouldn’t live very long if the Demon King found a book pairing him and Shinichi just lying around the castle. “But I can’t get my creative juices flowing if I don’t have models.” “Hmm, I don’t have any manga or anime that would inspire BL situations. Or male idols that you could reference… Hey, Arian. Do you know any fairy tales that we could twist into a boy-on-boy story?” “I wouldn’t tell you even if I did…,” Arian said curtly, shaking her head. She’d really prefer not to insert a bunch of dudes into her mother’s stories or the minstrels’ tales, especially the ones that made her heart race with the idea of romance. “If that’s the case…there’s nothing else we can do.” Shinichi racked his brain for a moment before slipping his arm around Arian’s shoulder with resolve. “Draw me and Arian.” “Oh? I didn’t realize you’re a boy in girl’s clothing! Perfect!” Mimolette trilled. “No! I’m a girl!” Arian shouted, pushing out her flat chest as proof, as the dvergr stopped pumping her fists in excitement. “Tsk, a girl, huh. That’s not gonna—” “You fussy amateur!” Shinichi boomed. “Is that the extent of your fantasies?! Are you trying to tell me you can’t change a girl into a boy in your mind’s eye?!” “…What…did you just say?!” “If you really loved BL, you’d be able to pair a friggin’ pencil and eraser together! Or turn a man into a woman! Entertain the possibilities of him getting pregnant and giving birth! Don’t give me that bullshit! You can’t even imagine a girl as a boy? Un-friggin’-believable.” “Um, Shinichi, I think standards in your country are out of whack…” Arian’s face paled as she listened to him, but the dvergr chortled in response to his little pep talk. “Heh-heh-heh. I guess I still have a long way to go… All right. I’ll take you up on it and make the best BL manga!” “Yeah! Attagirl! That’s the spirit of a real BL fan!” “I haven’t agreed to this!” Arian protested frantically. But he wasn’t paying her any mind as he sauntered over to her without another word. “Sh-Shinichi…?” She could sense that he was different from his usual self. She took one, two steps back, banging into the wall behind her, preventing her from escaping his advances. Shinichi slammed his fist into the wall, supporting himself with one arm and leaning in. “You might say no, but you’re really into me, aren’t you?” “Y-yeah…” He smirked devilishly, but his eyes were dead set on her. Arian’s cheeks flushed red as she nodded slightly, yielding to him— “Cut!” Mimolette screeched. “Cornering her into the wall is good, and your cocky lines are okay! But you!” She looked at Arian. “You can’t just give in! You gotta build some tension in the scene. Up the ante! Resist his advances!” “Say all you want, but I’m not sure I can reject him…” “I’m sure you’re unsatisfied about the way he treats you in some way or another, aren’t ya? Look deep into your heart! And don’t hold back! Tell him the truth—unapologetically!” “……” Arian’s expression clouded over with unexpected seriousness as she took Mimolette’s pointers to heart, and she shoved Shinichi’s chest, hard, with her two hands. “Stop it! I bet you say the same thing to the other girls!” “What are you talking about?” “Don’t play dumb! I always see you hanging around her—giggling together. You don’t even care about me!” “…You’re acting, right? This is all pretend, right?” “Aaah! Wonderful! A conflict between lovers! An affair! I love it!” Uh-oh. These accusations were all too real for Shinichi. He was starting to panic. In the background, the dvegr was getting riled up, giving them some more stage cues. “All right, push him over!” Mimolette prompted. “What?!” “…This is all your fault, Shinichi.” Arian swept her foot under his, and he came crashing down. She pounced on him, straddling him, tearing open his shirt with all her might, as he lay powerlessly under her. “I’ll make my mark on your body! You won’t be able to make eyes at someone else ever again!” “Wait! Wait! Wait! Calm down! This is going too far!” “Wooow—!” The dvergr whistled. “Switching positions? Reversing the top and bottom? Whew! I gotta say, words can’t even begin to express my excitement! Oh, I curse how limited language is! How you betray me!” “I think we’d call this a usurper— I mean, please stop!” “Why won’t you look at only me, Shinichi…?” murmured Arian as she brought her face closer until their lips, almost— “—Having fun?” Celes asked, voice as frigid as the dead of winter, returning to the room after bathing Rino.
Chapter 40
32 min read