The truth was...I already knew the answer. Today after school, I’d heard straight from Ibusuki what she thought of the boy Urano Izumi and his feelings for her. However, I couldn’t tell him that. If I were to just jump in and tell him how she feels...somehow it feels dishonorable, not to mention rude. This is something that Ura has to muster the resolve to overcome on his own.
“Just a minute ago...you called me pure, right?” I reminded him.
“...”
“You might think that, but...from my point of view, you’re the pure one.”
“I am...?”
“Yeah. You’re pure. You’re the purest person I know. You’re so pure and sensitive...and that’s why you’re a coward.”
“...”
“You’ve always been that way. You’ve always been so afraid of getting hurt...and of hurting others.”
He’s a coward, and he’s afraid. I wonder if that’s just his nature, or if it’s because of his experience in middle school. Or perhaps it’s because of both.
“In the end, you threw everything away because you were afraid of getting hurt and hurting someone else, right? But don’t you think it would be okay to be a little more insensitive?”
“Insensitive...?”
“You’re way too sensitive when it comes to your own pain and the pain of others. At best, you’re too sensitive, and at worst, you’re a smart aleck, overly self-conscious, bad at communicating, distrusting of others to a twisted degree...”
“...Your bad examples outweigh the good ones.”
“Oh, sorry. I got carried away.”
“What do you mean you ‘got carried away’...?” Ura glared at me with teary eyes. I cleared my throat to get the conversation back on track.
“Anyway, I’m saying that it’d be okay if you were a little bit more insensitive to your pain and the pain of others.”
“...”
“You don’t need to worry so much... No one is going to be that inconvenienced by you falling in love with them. Even if you did inconvenience them, you don’t have to feel too guilty about it. If everyone were to back down from their feelings because they had to be afraid of hurting the people they’d fallen in love with, then nobody would ever get together in the first place.”
“...”
“It’s the same for you too. You thought that you were embarrassing for falling in love, but you shouldn’t worry about that. Everyone acts really embarrassing when they fall in love.”
Yeah. That’s right. When people fall in love, they become lamer than ever. Their imaginations run wild, they get anxious over every little thing, and their minds turn to molasses as they lose their way. People in love are fighting an intense battle with their own minds, and it must be hilarious to someone watching it all from the sidelines.
“No matter how awkward you become, there’s no need to feel embarrassed. Everyone’s like that. When you truly love someone from the heart, everyone is really uncool, and that itself is really cool.”
Ah... I can do it now. Now I can give some proper words of support to Ura when he’s being consumed by his love and reeling from the painful fate he brought on himself.
I couldn’t tell him anything in middle school. I still didn’t know about love, so I couldn’t tell Ura anything. All I could do was give him generic words of comfort. I couldn’t truly empathize with his pain and struggle. However, now that I have someone I love, I can do it.
“...Hmph.” Ura was silent for a little while, but then he got an arrogant look on his face and snorted his nose. “True enough. You were really awkward and fumbling about when you were trying to start dating Orihara-san. When you got dumped the first time you confessed, you were so depressed, it was totally pathetic.”
“...Shut up.”
“But...you’re right.” Ura got a somewhat radiant look on his face. “This is probably how everyone becomes.”
“...It is.” Everyone becomes uncool and awkward when they truly fall in love. “Well, I guess I’ll head home.” I stood up from my seat cushion.
“Huh... Y-You’re already going home?”
“I’m keeping Orihara-san waiting, so I can’t stay long. Plus, I said just about all I wanted to say.”
Ura got a suspicious look on his face. “You...didn’t come here to get me to confess my feelings?”
“Like I said, that’s up to you to decide. I won’t encourage you to do it, and I won’t stop you either.”
“...”
“Of course, if you ask me to help you, I’ll give you my full support. You helped me with my confession, after all.”
“...You’re not going to tell me to come to school either?”
“Hmm... Well, it’s not that I don’t want you to come, but I’m not going to force you. You said that you’d come back when you felt like it, and I’m fine with that.”
“...”
“Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you. Ibusuki told everyone that you’re in bed with an inexplicable high fever and that that’s why you haven’t been able to look at your phone. If you plan on going to school, you should go along with that.”
“...”
“If you’re not feeling up to it, you should take time off from school for a while. If you don’t show up, your class will probably have a hard time, but... Well, that’s not my problem,” I said in a light, joking tone.
“Ha ha... What’s with that attitude?”
“It’s just that it’s not my problem. Whatever happens to your class, it has nothing to do with me. You’ll probably become an outcast from your class because of this whole thing, but...it’s fine, isn’t it? I mean, you were already an outcast to begin with.”
“Ha ha ha. You’re right. I don’t have anything to lose.”
“All I’m saying is, if that happens, you can just have lunch with Kana and me every day again.”
“Jeez... I don’t get you, Momo. You’re not telling me to confess my feelings or come to school, so what did you come here for?”
“I told you when I got here. I just came to talk.” I didn’t come here to order him around or beg him to do anything. All I came to do was listen and have a conversation with my good friend.
“Didn’t you say you came to have a serious conversation?”
“Yeah, I did. I came here to have a serious conversation...about love. Though I guess that sounds a little cheesy.” I felt a little embarrassed.