He sounded like he was about to cough up blood. “When she nominated me for class representative...I was so pissed and thought she was being such a pain...but the truth is I was a little happy. I was happy that she said that she wanted to work hard with me. That’s why I thought I’d do my best, because I thought that there might be something in it for me. That’s the kind of ulterior motive I had.” Ura’s voice grew sadder and sadder, and it seemed like it was about to fade away.
“But...she didn’t care about me!”
“...”
It’s a very common story. A cheerful and sociable girl approaches a boy who doesn’t have a lot of friends, exchanges contact information with him, and becomes friends with him. The boy thinks it was something special, but to the girl it was something totally normal and not special at all. It’s the kind of love story about an introverted guy and outgoing girl that you could find anywhere in Japan. However, even though the story is commonplace, for the people involved, it’s a big deal that can change their life.
“I’m so lame, pathetic, and embarrassing... I hate myself so much! That woman pisses me off, but I’m even more pissed off at myself...” Ura seemed poised to tear himself apart with all the self-deprecation he was spewing. “It’s always like this... As soon as someone is nice to me, I get the wrong idea, get carried away like an idiot, start building up feelings one-sidedly, and then...despair. Nothing’s changed since middle school...”
Ura had experienced another heartbreak in middle school. The situation was a little different then, but his love had gotten the better of him, and his heart was deeply wounded because of it.
“Why did it turn out this way? It’s the same as last time... It would have been better if it had just ended with me being the only one to get hurt, but I dragged someone else into this and got them hurt too... It’s pitiful. Just how pitiful can I be?”
It’s just like I thought. Apparently, Ura wasn’t really upset with Ibusuki, and he didn’t really harbor any resentment toward her for being nice to an introvert like him without having any intention of starting a relationship. Of course, he probably harbored those feelings to some extent, but more than that, he felt guilty. He was regretting that he needlessly hurt someone else because they found out about his love for them.
Sometimes, love can hurt the person who receives it. The kinder someone is, the sorrier they feel that they can’t return the other person’s affection; that’s what happened in middle school. After what happened, Ura was so fed up with everything that he shut himself up in his room. Ura was hurt because of his heartbreak, but because he hurt Ryu, he felt even worse. Ryu was hurt from finding out about Ura’s feelings, and Ura was hurt even more when he made her feel that way. It was the worst kind of negative cycle, the kind that you couldn’t do anything about.
“That woman... She must be feeling so annoyed right now. I mean, she was just being nice to some introverted guy, and he went and fell in love with her. It’s the most annoying kind of situation. I’ll bet she doesn’t even want to see my face anymore. Well, she’s probably laughing about it right now and complaining to her friends about how gross it is to have the introverted guy fall in love with her—”
“Don’t just assume all that,” I said. I’d kept quiet this entire time, but that was the one thing I couldn’t stay quiet about. “Don’t just assume Ibusuki’s feelings.”
“...Huh?” Ura sat up and scowled at me with eyes that still had the remnants of tears he’d wiped away. He glared straight at me with a mixture of anger and anxiety in his eyes.
“I know that you’ve been hurt, that it’s hard, and that you’re in pain. But there’s no need to make assumptions about Ibusuki’s feelings and feel worse than you need to.”
“...Bah. Don’t act like you understand how I feel,” Ura said as if to provoke me. His lips twisted into a bitter grin. “Don’t talk down to me. Hmph. It must be so nice. You get to date the woman you love, and she loves you back. Just a year or two ago we formed the ‘Virgins for Life Alliance’ to support each other, but now you’re so outgoing and have a girlfriend...”
His thin, taunting smile gradually twisted into anger and frustration. “...You don’t understand, Momo. Someone like you... Someone who’s so straightforward and pure like you could never understand how a coward like me feels!”
“Yeah, I don’t,” I said plainly. “I don’t know. I don’t know how you feel, and the only person who does know is you. And, of course, Ibusuki’s feelings are the same way. You don’t know what they are.”
“...”
“Only you can know what your own feelings are. That’s why if you don’t put your feelings into words, other people won’t be able to understand them.”
I remembered something that Kana had told me when I asked him and Ura for advice before I started dating Orihara-san. He said that all princes take action on their own. Even when a prince is rich and handsome, if he never makes a move himself, he won’t get the princess. If he doesn’t put his feelings into words, then nothing will begin.
“...The hell are you saying?” Ura said with a hint of annoyance in his voice. “Are you telling me I should confess my feelings? I should just do it and accept a noble defeat? Screw you. That kind of cliché is just—”
“No. I’m not saying you should confess,” I said, cutting him off mid-sentence. “It’s up to you to decide whether you want to confess or not. I’m not going to push you. All I’m saying is that you need to stop assuming foregone conclusions and sulking about them before you’ve even told her how you feel.”
“...” A kind of bitterness that resembled embarrassment appeared on Ura’s youthful face.