I woke up in the early evening and made small talks with her again in the bed. She asked me many things, none of which I thought was related to me and her life. For example, although red flowers were decorated in the store below, what did red flowers mean for their business? As for a topic that was more or less related to our lives, a man working at a used car shop sometimes visited here and asked her if she would sell the sedan with a catfish face. Such topics. I was sure that she did not care about such things. I could somehow discern that by the way she talked. Even so, she might think she had to convey the message with the words in the squeezed-out, husky voice. She might be afraid of the timespan in which she said nothing and remained quiet. I guess that is right. Unless she kept on talking, her conversation partner would end up thinking about what she did not know. She might not be able to bear it. No, in her case, was it just her occupational habit? I might be taking myself too far by thinking that she cared about me by that much.
“Now, I hope this time with you continues forever.” She said, and sighed. She was getting her shoulders out of the blanket.
Her shoulders looked cold, and I touched one of them. As I thought, it was cold.
The shoulder moved, and she reached for a cigarette. She lit it, and exhaled the smoke.
“In my room, I usually do not smoke in bed.” She spoke. “You know, the odor would attach to the blanket.”
“You should not smoke.”
“I am taking a day off tonight.”
“Are you skipping work?”
“I will pretend to catch a cold. Hear this. My voice is hoarse, isn’t it?”
“Do you need such a reason?”
“I think that doesn’t work because my voice always sounds strange. Let’s see ... At best, I can tell them that I am having a headache, or I am in poor health, or something like that.”
“Will you tell them so on the phone?”
“Right. I don’t have a telephone here. I will go downstairs and call them. To get the energy boost to do so, I am smoking the cigarette now.”
“If you worry about me, you need not to do so. If I am being your burden, I am getting out of here.”
“Do not say such a thing.”
“For example, if you like it, I will wait for you here. Why don’t you go to work?”
“Hmm, that’s also an option. They won’t suspect me that way.”
I wonder why they might suspect her. About her sheltering me? The company should have already been informed that I escaped from the hospital. Before long, they might call her workplace to ask about me. Uncharacteristically, I thought of such a thing absent-mindedly. I mean, it was an atypical act for me. I wondered to myself what I would expect, but I was not sure. Anyway, my thought was not getting clear. I am wondering if the drugs like anesthesia or a tranquilizer is still working within my system.
She got out of the bed and got dressed. The room was dim. But I could see her body well. It looked a bit aged than she whom I knew well. Is it because of this situation? Or, has my brain become able to gradually capture the reality accurately? In other words, is the effect of the drug becoming less potent?
After getting dressed, she left the room. I heard the sound of the door opening, closing, and the footsteps fading away.
I stretched out my arm from the blanket and grabbed the pack of cigarettes. It was light, but luckily several cigarettes were still in it. I felt a bit guilty because they were her cigarettes. However, I do not have my cigarettes now.
Oh, if I were to leave this place, I would have to borrow money from her. We can do nothing without cash. That is the rule of the human society. When in the military base, when in a hospital, I seldom had the opportunity to use money. I got misled into thinking that the system involving money vanished from the sight utterly.
I wonder if she lends me some money. How can I pay her back? Do I have anything valuable? No, I am carrying nothing. Also, I doubt I will be able to repay. In the first place, how can I make the ends meet from now on?
My eyes saw the smoke drifting. Might I be able to discern it as clouds? I squinted, but it did not work well at all.
This room is too dark. Should I imagine my conducting a night flight? When I started thinking so, I heard the door open. I thought it was too soon for her to come back here, if she actually called them on the phone.
She entered the room. She jumped into the bed and lay down there. While being careful of not dropping the ash of the cigarette, I raised my body.
“I came up with a better idea.” She said in a cheerful voice.
“Better than what?”
“What do you mean by ‘than what’?”
“You came up with the better idea than what?”
“If you are asking me, wouldn’t you ask about the better of the ideas?”
“So, what have you come up with?”
“Taking a trip right now.”
“Who?”
“We.”
“What do you mean by ‘we’?”
“You and I, of course.”
“Oh, I am included.”
“Are you crazy? Do you understand the situation? If you continue to stay at such a place, they will find you soon.”
“Hmm, maybe, you’re right. But, if they find me, it would not be too bad for me.”
“Really? Even so, don’t you think traveling is fun?”
“I have never experienced traveling.”
“Are you kidding? Haven’t you?”
“What about you?”
“I have. Many times. But, umm, it was when I was a little girl. After I became an adult, I might not have been to very far places.”
“Are we going on a trip by car?”
“Yeah. I think it would be better than by train.”
“I’m not sure.”
“We will stay in a hotel at each destination, and eat delicious meals there.”
“Do you have money?”
“No worries. You can count on me.”
“Thank you. I don’t have money at all. I was thinking about what to do from now on. If I go back to the hospital, I believe I can get my personal belongings. With them, I will be able to withdraw money from my bank account.”
“Why don’t you go to a bank and tell them you lost a bankbook? I actually lost mine once. When I cried in a bank, they gave me a new one.”
“Really ... Right, if they can confirm my identity, then they will give me a new one, probably.”
“If you can do that, we should get prepared immediately.” She stood up from the bed. “Well, I wonder where I put the largest suitcase ...”
“Where are we heading for?”
“I haven’t thought of it. Any place will do fine.”
“Any place that you want to go to?”
“Somewhere with a hotel.”
She entered the walk-in closet.
“Oh, yes, how about getting on an airplane?” I heard just her voice.
“It costs us much.”
“You’re right. We are in no hurry in particular, you know?”
“Will you be able to leave work for such a long period of time?”
“Who cares? Never mind that. You need not worry.”
“Don’t you have to call your workplace?”
“I think it was about time that I left.”
After hearing the statement, I stubbed out the cigarette in the ashtray. The smoke drifting near the ceiling was stationary.
I think I have to think about myself more. While I play with her, will I be able to come up with a good idea? But what is a good idea? I don’t have an objective in particular. I have not had any trouble. I am not falling into hard times.
Oh, yes. For example, I might think of killing myself.
Suicide.
Even that was not so serious for me. If so, I did not want to get her involved in the act of self-destruction. I did not know why. But I was just certain about it.
We had a discussion about whether to take a car, a train, or an airplane. But I had imagined getting on a ship. Besides, it had to be on a river, not an ocean. We could go down the river on a small boat. It would lead us to a lake or a sea eventually. I was imagining such a scene several times.
However, I would be the only person on the boat.
She was not aboard.
I had never even imagined that the two of us would go together.
-4-