“Why are you asking?”
“It’s just, when you made the announcement to the whole unit, you didn’t even hesitate. More to the point, it felt flippant. You were just like, ‘You’re second-in-command as of today.’ I was so shocked I almost fainted.”
“I guess I had another hunch.”
“A hunch?! That’s what made you appoint me as second-in-command?!”
I didn’t have any special reasons for the decision. After I’d beaten the unit into shape, I just saw that I could trust Aul with everyone. I wasn’t thinking in terms of strength or leadership qualities.
“I know how it might sound coming from me,” said Aul, “but in our unit I’m just middle of the pack. Nothing special. I’m still not even twenty, and I don’t have any special skills to speak of, so why wouldn’t you pick someone more experienced for the position?”
“I see. So you think you’re unqualified to lead.”
“Yes.”
Aul. What a pain.
This wasn’t something you brought up the night before an important mission. And why did she wait so long to bring it up in the first place? A whole year had passed since I’d appointed her.
Aul must have seen the look on my face because she quickly averted her gaze.
“For the most part, you’re always leading everybody,” she said. “As far as my duties go, I’m pretty much just writing up reports and putting in orders for weapons. I just handle miscellaneous work when I think about it.”
“You idiot. That’s the whole job.”
“But it’s all just errands, basically!”
“It’s work that has to be done. What’s wrong with that? It’s what the people at the top have to handle.”
“I’m still not convinced.”
I could see her gritting her teeth, and it made me smile. Now that I was Lieutenant Colonel, I didn’t have time to handle the daily clerical work of the unit. I’d been giving Aul more and more work over the course of the last six months to make sure our unit could function without me. I never imagined that she wouldn’t have noticed that herself.
“I’ve been giving you more work since I was promoted,” I said, “particularly when it comes to reports.”
“I was thinking I had more work than usual recently. So that was your doing?”
“I made a point of not telling you. The fact that I haven’t noticed any errors in the reports this last half year shows that you’ve been doing your job.”
“Wish I could be happier about it,” mumbled Aul.
If she hadn’t noticed, that was on her for her lack of observational skills. That said, it was impressive. Aul’s workload had noticeably increased, but she completed everything she was asked without any issue to speak of.
“You’re on the right track,” I said. “In time, I may be able to entrust you with the leadership of this unit.”
“What?”
Aul’s jaw dropped, and her head tilted to the side. She could not understand what I had just said.
“Why the dumb look?” I asked
“Well, I mean, me? In charge of the unit?”
“It’s only natural, isn’t it? I’m a Lieutenant Colonel now. I can’t lead a single unit forever. In time I’ll have to leave the unit to you, and then you’ll lead them.”
“Nope! No no no! There’s no way! No way I can do that! If I’m put in charge, we’re going to break into infighting the moment our mission begins!”
Aul looked panicked as she waved her hands around, disagreeing with everything I’d said.
“Just who do you think your fellow knights are?” I asked.
“You should know that better than anyone! Before you formed our unit, every one of us were like wild horses. We were practically rampaging! The only reason we’re not now is because you’re here. And if you leave, the very first thing that’s going to happen is me getting beaten to a pulp!”
She was so animated I couldn’t tell if she was earnest or just joking.
Does she simply not want me to leave my post? Probably not. I’m giving myself too much credit.
“Ah, I see. So what you need is faith in your fellow soldiers,” I said. “Quit it with the crybaby act. You’re like a kid who doesn’t want to leave home.”
“But I can’t think of any other leader for this unit but you!”
“That’s no way to think about the issue,” I said.
When ranks changed, so too did the environment. With my new rank came new responsibilities. I would move from leading a single unit to leading multiple units. Aul and her fellow knights would become like my arms and legs on the battlefield.
“Even if I leave, it’s not like the unit will just up and vanish,” I said. “All that will happen is that you’ll replace me as the brains of the operation.”
“But who wants that?!”
“You don’t like the responsibility?”
“It’s not that . . .”
For Aul and the others directly under my command, ‘responsibility’ was a word like a distant speck on the horizon. They didn’t do their duties for the Llinger Kingdom, they did them for their own sakes.
“I don’t feel any of that responsibility. It doesn’t bother me. What I don’t like is the idea of you leaving the unit.”
I waited for Aul to go on.
“I’ll be crystal clear; I’m as stubborn as they come. I won’t follow orders that I don’t respect. And if I want to do something, then I’ll do it no matter what. If I think it’s the right thing to do, then it doesn’t matter what anybody else thinks; I’ll push through and do it.”
“I know that,” I said.
That was the reason I’d put Aul in my unit in the first place. So what was she trying to tell me?
“Back when I started, I wouldn’t bow down to anyone. I got results my way, and my way worked, so I refused to listen to any complaints. And when anybody tried to say something, I shut them up even if it meant violence. That’s how I lived as a knight . . . until you showed up.”
Back then, Aul was a real handful for the kingdom. She had a reputation for being a knight who didn’t take orders. I could still remember it, even now. The general was all set to strip her of her rank, but I moved in and requested that she be put in my unit.
“When I first met you, I was all set to do the same as always,” Aul said, going on. “I wasn’t going to take any orders I didn’t believe in. Nobody had ever been able to break my will or order me around. I wasn’t about to change for you, but before I knew it, I’d been completely broken down.”
Aul chuckled as she remembered the time we first met.
“When I faced you, everything I knew about common sense and violence went straight out the window. When I refused to obey, I was smacked. When I tried to run away. you followed me all the way out of the kingdom and dragged me right back. When I tried to hit back, you hit me so hard I can’t even properly remember what happened before or afterward.”
“I didn’t hit you that hard,” I said.
Aul let out a shaky laugh.
“Knock it off with the jokes, Captain,” she said. “I told myself I would never lose to you. I was going to overcome your damned training, and I was going to make you regret your decision. That’s what I believed, and you know me—I hate to lose.”
When I thought about it, I could see it. At some point, Aul had become especially fiery and passionate about training. For her it might have been powered by her rebellious spirit, but for me it was simply funny. I enjoyed watching her grow.
“But you were crazy,” Aul said.
I scratched my cheek with a finger.
“I didn’t really do all that much,” I replied.
Aul had bared her fangs at me, so I’d put her in her place. To me, she was like a cat playing rough.
“Yeah, maybe it wasn’t all that much to you, but to me . . .”
“To you it was what?” I asked.
“It was a first, that’s what. You watched over me the whole time, and you never gave up on me. I didn’t listen to anyone, so everyone else got sick of me and they gave up. But not you. You met me head on. At the time, I was about as annoyed as was humanly possible. But also, I was happy.”