As I lay there gazing up at the ceiling, my vision began to blur.
I couldn’t let things end like this.
It didn’t matter to me anymore whether we came out of this as friends or lovers—I just wanted to keep her in my life, and to be able to smile and laugh with her again when this was all over. In that case, would it be best if I went to apologize to her right now? But then, what would I even say? What if I failed to express myself properly and only ended up making things even worse? The thought alone was enough to make my stomach churn.
What if I just sent her a text instead? That would reduce the risk of me screwing up and saying something I didn’t mean, at least. If I really poured my heart into writing an earnest, thoughtful message to her, she’d at least give me the courtesy of a response, wouldn’t she? Okay, let me try to draft something up really quick…
But it was no use. I was too tired to think straight, much less compose a heartfelt apology. After the day I’d had so far—first being dragged around and forced to deal with Sera all morning, then having a tough conversation with Ushio about breaking up on top of that—I felt completely exhausted. The lingering soreness from yesterday’s skiing lessons probably wasn’t helping either.
All I’d wanted was to enjoy my class trip and make it an experience to remember. And while I’d certainly accomplished the latter, it hadn’t been for the right reasons. If it ended like this, the only memories I’d have to look back on would be of things I wished I’d done differently. I didn’t want that, and I was sure that Ushio didn’t either. This was the first school trip she’d ever been on, and it would probably be her last. She deserved better than for things to end like this…as did I. What an absolute waste.
I wished we could just try again.
Start the whole trip over, from the very beginning…
If I had a second chance to do things right, I’d avoid Sera like the plague and just focus on enjoying my vacation with Ushio. I could do better next time—I knew I could. I’d make this class trip one for the history books. Something we could both look back on and always remember fondly. But how was I supposed to turn back the clock? It wasn’t like I had a narratively convenient time machine on hand or anything.
Ugh, this is so stupid… I need to stop fantasizing and face reality.
Of course there’s no way to—
“Wait a minute.”
I shot upright.
All of a sudden, a crazy idea had popped into my head. It felt absolutely insane, but if I could actually pull it off, it might be just the ticket I needed to salvage this whole vacation and make a last-minute comeback from the brink of disaster.
I might not be able to start this trip over from the beginning.
But that didn’t mean I couldn’t extend it.
✦ ✦ ✦
I crept quietly to the door and out into the hallway, careful not to wake Hasumi. It was five o’clock in the morning, and the whole hotel was deathly silent. Although I couldn’t imagine any of our teachers being up and on patrol at this hour, I avoided making a sound as I tiptoed down the hall.
In my backpack, I had only the bare necessities; I’d left my suitcase in the room, thinking it would be too cumbersome to lug around.
After sneaking all the way down to Ushio’s room, I took a deep breath, then called her phone. I waited on pins and needles as it rang once, twice, three times… But she didn’t pick up. It seemed she was fast asleep.
It was too early to give up yet, though, so I put my phone away and tried knocking on the door—loud enough that it would hopefully wake her up, yet quietly enough that it wouldn’t echo down the hallway. After knocking on both literal and metaphorical wood, hoping that no teachers or students would catch me up and about, I heard rustling from the other side of the door.
Okay, phew. Sounds like she’s awake.
I lowered my hand and waited there anxiously until she finally got up and creaked open the door, peeking warily out into the hallway in her pajamas.
“…What is it?” she asked.
Ushio sounded pretty damn grumpy about having been woken up, judging from her voice being a fair bit lower than usual and a lot more monotone. It was almost enough to make me lose heart, but I couldn’t back down now.