Big and powerful? He doesn’t even have the imagination or intelligence or knowledge to construct an actual vision. He was going to be the most disposable pawn to them. I opened my mouth to thoroughly disabuse him of his misguided notions when a frail little voice said, “Eddie…”
I spun around and saw the very last person I wanted to overhear this.
“Ahh, shit.”
I tugged at my hair in frustration. All this threatening and lecturing—which was not my style—was for one purpose: to keep the squirt from finding out. But somehow it always backfired on me in the crucial moment.
“So that’s what you think of me,” April said.
Eddie averted his eyes uncomfortably and said nothing. The coward.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know you felt that way,” she said, on the verge of tears. “You can say what you want about me. But don’t sell drugs. Never do that. It will never make anyone happy. It’s why Vanessa is…”
“……”
I remembered how she had bawled at the funeral.
“If you hate me that much, then I’ll leave. But don’t ever get involved in drugs,” she said.
“You don’t have to leave. It’s these little knuckleheads who are going away.”
“No, Matthew. It’s fine.”
April approached Eddie and wrapped a handkerchief around his bloodied fist.
“Good-bye.”
She turned and fled from the orphanage. I followed her without a word. I might be a slowpoke in the shadows, but my legs were still long. I found April crouched on the side of the road a short distance away.
I was afraid bounty-seeking scum might have attacked her, but she was fine, to my relief. As soon as she saw me, she turned her back to me. That told me she wanted to be alone.
“There you are,” said Arwin, catching up. She took one look at April, then reached out a hand, which was ignored.
“Where will you go next?” Arwin asked. Normally she was good at being considerate, but in this case, she chose to be blunt.
“…Why did they say that? Did I do something wrong?”
“You don’t have to care about what idiots like them say,” I insisted. “You could give away every single coin you have and go begging in the street, but they’ll still say you get away with having good looks or that you had the benefit of a good life. They’re looking for things to complain about so they can feel sorry for themselves.”
The problem was Eddie’s built-in sense of inferiority. As long as he blamed it on other people and shirked responsibility for his actions, there was no saving him. If anything, showering more love on him would only deepen his inferiority complex.
“I don’t care what they say about me. But why would they get involved in drugs…?”
“It’ll only end with them becoming addicts.”
There were many reasons dealers failed to break free from the business. Money and personal ties. Getting addicted to their own supply. Those who sent others to hell always fell in themselves at some point. Even me, most likely.
“They’re probably going to get beaten by the orphanage staff until their eyes pop out.”
They weren’t going to understand without a beating. Not because they were stupid, but because they’d never had that kind of education. If they weren’t taught to approach things rationally, they wouldn’t be able to apply their intelligence properly, and they’d wind up resorting to short-term means and pleasures.
“It doesn’t mean everything you did was wasted and unwanted,” I said. “At the very least, I’m grateful to you.”
Downcast, April’s lips moved to murmur something. I pretended not to hear it. At that point, I wasn’t looking for gratitude for petty things like this.
“Shall we go home?”
“Yeah.”
She wasn’t in any state of mind to go to the Adventurers Guild. April nodded obediently.
“…I told you before about how I wanted to be a teacher.”
“Right.”
“Am I not cut out for it?”
“You’re not,” I said. April gasped. “Even if you used the old man’s money to build a school or whatever, it’d be a failure. I’d bet money on it.”
“Matthew,” Arwin said reprovingly, grabbing my shoulder. I brushed her hand away.
“You think so…?”
“I’m not saying it won’t work because you’re incompetent or anything. Just the opposite: You don’t realize just how enormous your dream is.”
“What do you mean?”
“There are fewer parents than you think who want to send their children to school, especially if they’re poor.”
When you’re poor, you need every last pair of hands to work. To the poor, children are a source of labor. Giving them an education might not pay off in the future—if they can even imagine the future at all. Money in sight. Food in sight. You can only see what’s before your eyes. There’s no investment in the future.
“If you’re really serious about improving their lives, it’s a political issue. To get children to go to school, you need a system where the rich and powerful create the structure and the rules, and then fund it. You can’t do it all on your own.”
If parents put the child to work, they’d at least have one more person’s earnings to live on. Obviously, the parents would choose that option.
“……”
“Which is exactly why,” I said, putting a hand on April’s huddled shoulder, “you can’t try to put everything on your back. Find allies to help. Create more people who agree with your ideal vision.”
It takes strength to change the world—and numbers are strength. The more people one has, the easier it is to be taken seriously.
“Nothing will work out at first, I’m guessing,” I continued.
No one would listen to her. Even those on her side might not listen. She’d feel very lonely at times.
“And if you feel like you’ve really lost your way and don’t know if you were right, go back to the beginning. Your starting point will tell you where to go next.”
Nobody was successful right from the start. Everyone had to deal with repeated setbacks and failure.
“You don’t have to start with a big goal. Try a smaller specialty school instead. You’ll probably fail at first. But eventually, everyone will notice what you were talking about was true.”
The more successful examples there were to point to, the more others would agree. Even the people in power could use some intelligent followers among the common people.
“It might not even be successful in your lifetime. But if others pick up the torch after you, your vision might one day come to pass.”