His face was red and blotchy when he turned around. He lunged at me with his fists, face and whiskers caked with dirt.
“Oh, stop that.” I tossed the magic sword behind me and caught his fist. “Only men of the ugliest character stoop to violence after their advances are spurned.”
I squeezed. The paladin screamed. Red liquid began to seep from the cracks in his silver gauntlet. He punched with his left hand this time in an attempt to escape the pain.
Of course, I had no desire to be punched, so I lifted him upward by the hand I was already holding. It pulled the knight off his feet so that his body was pressed to mine. Our faces drew closer.
“Oh, did you want a kiss?” I grinned. “Too bad.”
I turned my back and swung my arm forward as hard as I could. Lutwidge’s body flew over my shoulder, armor and all. He landed loudly on his rear.
“One more time!”
I turned and hurled Lutwidge by the arm again. This time, he landed on his back, and the next time, he kissed the ground with his stomach. I started lifting him again, but he was no longer resisting. It was all he could do to bear the horrible pain. After kissing the ground three times, he’d broken the bones in his ribcage and back.
“You’ve gotten carried away. You should consider your age, sir. An older man can only go so many rounds in a row.”
“Kill me,” he said, sounding delirious. “I cannot live after suffering such humiliation. And once you tell Her Highness, I am done for, either way.”
The sudden note of understanding resignation in his voice angered me.
“Listen up, old man.” I lifted the paladin’s downturned face. “Is that the weak kind of dedication you brought into being Arwin’s bodyguard? You’re soft. Do you have any idea the kind of commitment she puts into delving into that dungeon?”
“Of course I do,” Lutwidge said proudly. “Despite her youth, she stands at the head of our party every time, fighting to save her land that was tragically destroyed by monsters. She cuts a figure like the legendary valkyrie, which we—”
“Is that it?” I wasn’t asking him for a bard’s heroic ode to her.
“I thought her goal of conquering the dungeon was just a daydream at first. But she never gave up. Even in the depths and the darkness, she always stood at the fore, fighting monsters and leading our party. For the sake of her lost country, for the sake of the people and vassals who lost their homes, for the sake of avenging her king father and queen mother, she has placed her life in danger. She never wavers in her commitment to saving her companions. Everything was going well—until you arrived!”
“Enough.”
I let go. The paladin kissed the ground for a fourth time with his chin.
He knew nothing. He had no idea what kind of person the woman he protected was. All he cared about was the title of princess knight; who she was on the inside was of no concern. At this point, it felt foolish even to be angry at him.
I picked up the sword and thrust it into the ground in front of his eyes. It sank deep into the soil, until the hilt hit the ground. The aghast look on his face was a fitting decoration for the sight.
“Listen good. You will never dream of attempting to end my life again. If you can do that, I’m willing to keep this between us. But if you ever try to kill me again or tell anyone about this, I will tell her everything. Everything.”
“You’re not going to kill me?”
“If I was, I’d have done it by now.” I sighed. Why did this holy man have to be so dense? “If I kill you, who’s going to keep Arwin safe in the dungeon?”
“You.”
“Don’t be an idiot.” I shook my head. “I’ve got my own duty to uphold. Remember what I told that boy? Our jobs are equally important. So I want you to go back to protecting Arwin—without any funny thoughts.”
The look in Lutwidge’s eyes was still somewhat vacant. Oh well. I’d done what I came for.
“I’ll take my leave now. Oh, and you handle this mess.”
I turned my back on him and went into the trees to pick up the sickle I’d thrown away. Instantly, I felt as heavy as though my body had been dunked into a swamp of lead. It was difficult just to move a finger. It was always like this, but even still, I hated it. But I couldn’t let him see me stumble. I could still feel his eyes on my back. Does that virgin really admire my ass that much?
The sickle had flown farther than I thought. I picked it up and continued through the trees to the wasteland. There was barely any grass here, just rock and dry dirt in strange, ugly patterns.
The vicious wind made my body tremble. Dull gray clouds covered the sky above. If I fought now, I wouldn’t be able to even beat a simple adventurer thug, much less Lutwidge. It was pathetic that I had to check the weather in order to engage in a single fight. This was all the fault of that damned sun god.
At the time, the Million Blades had been exploring a ruin called the Tower of the Sun God. According to mythology, the sun god had it built for himself and had left a mountain of riches inside. Within the vast tower were a great number of monsters and traps, which we managed to overcome on the way to the top floor. Right then, a voice spoke in my head.
“From this day forward, thou shalt not wield thy great strength unless within my gaze.”
He really didn’t like having his lair invaded, apparently. And so the tight-assed sun god put a curse on us. Some lost their sight, some lost their magic, some lost their adventuring purpose, and I lost my strength.