Chapter 23

The sparkle was blinding. Just looking at her directly made their eyes hurt. …Oh, this has got to mean that all the front money from the Dame du Lac’s request is down the drain. Rintarou was exasperated with her. “A high-class girl has got to have the accessories to match, right? What? Are you upset, Emma? Are you crying over my accessories?! All you’ve got is that shabby cross pendant!” “…Um, Luna… Those high-end brands are really overdoing it…” “Jealous, huh!” Luna smiled as though she had triumphed, continuing with her deplorable attacks… “It sure is balmy today.” Gazing into the distance, she purposefully fanned at her chest and hiked up the end of her skirt. She opened her shirt wide at her chest, scandalously shortened her skirt, and rolled up her sleeves as far as they would go. Her shirt was short enough already, and her stomach and belly button were laid bare for the world to see. Basically, she had gone overboard. Luna was trying to explicitly appeal to Rintarou with an excessive amount of exposed skin. I mean, all boys are perverts. You should be practically drooling. Go on, she seemed to say. “…Uh. Um…Luna… I think you should stop trying to expose yourself…” Emma was good-natured enough to even help her enemies, but it still didn’t register to Luna. “Hey, Rintarou! Yoo-hoo! I made you lunch, too! Hee-hee, this is the first time ever in my whole life that I’ve made lunch. I worked hard to make it for you, and I’d be so happy if you ate it!” “…I think you should also stop acting cutesy…,” Emma added. “Emma, don’t waste your breath.” Rintarou and Emma were expressionless in the face of Luna, who was all enthusiasm. They were swept up by the sheer force of Luna’s appearance. Rintarou, Emma, and Luna ended up laying their lunches out in the courtyard at school. Basically, they were having somewhat of a battle between Emma’s and Luna’s homemade lunches. In the courtyard, there was a little corner with an outdoor terrace with parasols, tables, and chairs. Luna and Emma sat at the table to the left and right of Rintarou, sandwiching him as they started their luncheon. “I realized this yesterday while I was cooking, but…it turns out you can’t just microwave eggs. Hee-hee. I had absolutely no idea. Tee-hee. Oopsie! I’m recording that bit of information into the hard disk in my little heart. Inputting data! Loading! And saved! ” Rintarou had no idea what Luna was trying to even appeal to him with anymore. “…Luna, you probably shouldn’t act dumb or oblivious…” “…You’re a good person, Emma.” Rintarou smiled lukewarmly at the entirely admirable Emma. With Luna beside them, Emma started setting up her lunch on the table. “Umm, so…master. This isn’t much, but…” Emma had made sandwiches for lunch—egg sandwiches, ham sandwiches, tomato-and-cheese sandwiches, the whole nine yards… She hadn’t pulled any fancy tricks or brought anything out of the ordinary. They were just plain old sandwiches. Emma had really wanted to make Rintarou a more elaborate meal, but Sir Lamorak advised otherwise: “An elaborate meal takes too much effort, and you’ll be too much for him.” She had decided to follow Sir Lamorak’s advice, even though it was hard to swallow. And it seemed she had made the right choice. “Wow, looks good! This is the perfect amount of food for lunch!” Because it was so simple, no one would put up any resistance to accepting it. Rintarou didn’t hesitate to pick one up and start eating. “Yeah, this is great. Thanks, Emma.” “M-master… It’s really not anything special!” Emma happily let her face break into a smile. Then, Luna shoved aside the box of Emma’s homemade sandwiches to the corner of the table, throwing down an impossibly large basket with a resounding thump! “Um…Rintarou, I made a little something, too.” “Hmm. Come to think of it, what did you make, Luna?” Emma asked. Luna opened the basket eagerly and started putting out her lunch. “It’s stargazy pie and jellied eels.” ““Geez, this is a lot!”” Rintarou and Emma said at the same time. Thump! The bona fide feast that suddenly materialized out of the basket made Rintarou’s and Emma’s eyes peel open. As an aside, stargazy pie got its name because it involved several Pacific herrings stuck in the pie and positioned to gaze up into the sky. Jellied eels were thick slices of eel hardened into semitranslucent jelly. “Hee-hee. Just some local fare from my prided hometown in England! (But it’s the first time I’ve made either of them).” “W-well…I knew that, but…” To the English’s credit, stargazy pie and jellied eels weren’t half bad at all. If anything, they were delicacies when made right. But…these…looked absolutely terrible. They were plain grotesque. Unfortunately, when it came to Japanese sensibilities, they would be classified as a bizarre combination in the way a foreigner would view Japanese natto, fermented soybeans, squid, or octopus. “Uh… Luna? Don’t you think…this is overkill…?” “I made it all for Rintarou. Now, eat up! All! Of! It!” Luna ignored Emma and shoved the food toward Rintarou. The fish that faced the sky met Rintarou’s eyes with their white, cloudy ones. They looked unbelievably foul. “Uh… Ugh… Are you for real…?” Rintarou started eating the pie and jelly with tears in his eyes. They were good. They were really good, but… “This is a lot… In a variety of different meanings…!” “Oh, Rintarou, are those happy tears?! I knew my meals would be leagues better than the meager little sandwiches, huh?!” Their chaotic lunch eventually ended. “…URP.” “A-are you okay, master?!” After having been coerced into forcing down every bit of that “incredible” meal, Rintarou stopped himself from barfing, and Emma devotedly nursed him to health. “Hah… I couldn’t expect less from the teacher of my heart, the love-meister Kirara Himeboshi… It was perfect. It was moving. Now, then… I guess we can settle this once and for all.” Luna stood, full of confidence. “Now, Rintarou! It seems like the results are finally in! Is it me or Emma? Which of us is the better woman? Make your declaration here! That’s a royal order!” Fwoosh! Luna pointed right at Rintarou… “…The winner is Emma.” “Oh, ah-ha-ha…” Rintarou didn’t hesitate, and Emma could only laugh evasively as Rintarou held her arm up in the air. “Wh-why?!” “Well, you’re a great girl, for sure… If I close my eyes and ignore that you’re a girl.” Rintarou spoke as though he had never been this exasperated. Luna opened her eyes from shock “Wh-what?! Rintarou! You idiot! I did so much for you! You could’ve at least swooned a little or something! You oaf!” “Uh, um…Luna…you shouldn’t expect him to owe you for…” Luna gave off the air that she might have done all of this on purpose, anticipating a reward. As Luna did everything Sir Lamorak had said was taboo when it came to romance, to the point she was obstinately trampling her own path through things, Emma felt a little pity for her. “Ahhh, I guess I feel something? Maybe I’m starting to feel like becoming Emma’s ally without even waiting for the results of your battle? Plus, you’re insensitive and undisciplined, but Emma is principled, honest, and just a good girl. Maybe I’ll actually take this as an opportunity to switch sides?” “Grrrrrr…!” Luna’s face was bright red as she glared at Rintarou with rage for a while… “Waaaaaah! Rintarou! You big dummy!” She turned her back on him and ran away. “Sir Kay! Sir Kaaay! You know what Rintarou did? Listen to this!” Then, she went crying to Sir Kay, who seemed to have been watching from the shadows. “There, there, Luna. He was mean to you… Let’s start by working on your femininity and common sense…” With an indescribable expression, Sir Kay soothed her own lord. As he watched that from the side of his eye, Rintarou sighed. There was nothing else he could do.