Chapter 12:
Freedom
HE TRIED IMAGINING IT. He reflected on Rosette over the past year…then superimposed Violette’s image onto the crown princess’s.
Her flat belly slowly growing. Lying down pale in the face, sleeping too much, sleeping too little, her palate changing what foods she could and couldn’t eat. Caressing her round belly and smiling, imagining who the baby would take after. Praying that the baby would grow strong and healthy.
He imagined such a pregnancy. But however hard he tried, he couldn’t picture that version of Violette from the neck up.
“Yulan! Welcome home.”
“It’s good to be back. It’s been a while since we had this exchange.”
“Well, you’ve been busy all this time. Gia and I were talking about how you’ve lost weight.”
“Well…I ate like normal, but I was doing more work than I’m used to, so that makes sense.”
“Now you deserve a good rest. I mean it.”
Ahh, what bliss. He admired Violette as her cheeks lifted into a soft smile without her even knowing it. Yulan was sure his expression was the same. Watching her sleep made him quite happy, but it didn’t sate his hunger to hear her voice and see himself reflected in her open eyes.
“Have you eaten supper yet?” Yulan asked. “Oh, wait. You probably want a bath first. If your feet are sore, I can massage—”
“I haven’t eaten supper yet. I wanted to eat with you. And you need a bath and a foot massage far more than I do, Yulan. You’ve been working yourself to the bone for a very long time. You need your rest.”
“I’ll be fine. I missed not seeing you, but the work wasn’t a big deal.”
“Don’t say that. If you overwork yourself, you’ll wind up like Chesuit.”
“Hey, I’m not in love with my work like he is.”
“All the more reason to nip this in the bud.”
He couldn’t detect any grief in her eyes as she pressed her hands to her mouth and giggled. Sighing in relief, he knew then that he’d been right to ask Gia to take care of her. He hated the idea of thanking Gia, but if Violette’s safety had been ensured, a little unpleasantness was small potatoes. If you wanted to keep people away from your wife, no bodyguard was more talented than Gia.
“The party today was lovely.”
“Thanks. We went all out, since it was a formal introduction and celebration. Are you tired? You probably didn’t get to talk to Princess Rosette…”
“I figured I wouldn’t have a chance to talk to her today anyway. Once things settle down, we’ll visit each other at one of our houses.”
Wanting to regain all that lost time to caress the aches in each other’s hearts, they talked nonstop. They smiled over their delicious supper, then sank into their bedroom sofa (it turned out they really were exhausted from the party) and drank the tea Marin brought while having a cozy chat about their recent fancies. They took the time to talk through everything they’d been wanting to say until it was all said.
Their piled-up hopes and wishes conquered, all that remained was to find a way to bring up a subject that was touchy for both of them.
“Listen, Vio…”
An air filled with gentleness and nothing else flowed between them. Yulan’s touch received a warm touch in kind. There was nothing to fear, but he felt incredibly tense; he was scared that he might hurt her by mistake.
“I’m fine either way,” he told her.
Would such wholehearted devotion become a burden or a pair of wings? Did he want to fly free or be bound in chains? When discussing the future, Yulan still didn’t know how much emphasis he ought to put on the subject.