Chapter 1:
Counting the Days on My Fingers
HAD IT BEEN ONLY A DREAM, she could’ve imagined it to be an expression of bliss.
But holding that bliss in her arms—that was the one thing she couldn’t have envisioned.
✦ ✦ ✦
“Oh, good morning, Vio. You can stay in bed longer if you want, you know.”
“Well, I’m awake anyway…”
“Sorry. I’ll come in in a bit, all right?”
Violette stumbled out of the bedroom to find Yulan adjusting his tie before the mirror. Judging from his put-together appearance, he’d been up long before her. Once he finished with the tie, all he needed was a jacket, and his ensemble would be complete. She knew he was in no hurry to get to work, so he hadn’t gotten up early; Violette had overslept.
Scooping his jacket off the edge of the sofa with one arm, Yulan approached her. He reached toward her hair, messy from her pillow, and gently ran his fingers through the wild locks as if petting a cat. Violette squirmed at the ticklish sensation, and Yulan smiled at her in amusement. He felt like a child again.
“I’ll probably be running late tonight, so go to bed early if you like.”
“All right… Be careful out there.”
“I will. If you aren’t fully awake yet, I’ll have the servants ready breakfast for you. Go ahead and lie down a little while longer.”
His soothing touch awakened the memory of what’d happened before she fell asleep. Just as he’d caressed her hair as he told her goodnight, gentle warmth pressed her closed eyelids. The first night they’d shared a bed, Violette had been so nervous and shy, she’d thought she could never sleep. But now, her bed felt expansive and lonely without Yulan.
“Are you sleepy?”
“I’m all right…”
“Ha ha! I think I’ll have them delay breakfast a little.”
The drowsy sensation of the lines between reality and a dream blurring was nice, but Violette was determined to wish Yulan goodbye at the front door, so she rubbed her heavy eyelids to keep them from closing.
Violette seemed to revert to childhood when she was half asleep, but she probably wasn’t aware of that, and no one ever told her. Yulan had only started seeing her in this state when they began sharing a bed, which had been a long time ago. Marin seemed to know, more or less, but Violette had usually woken herself up in the past, and she seldom let anyone glimpse her fresh out of bed.
She was scared to let anyone see her at her most vulnerable; by the same token, she let Yulan observe her like this because she trusted him.
“I’m seeing you off at the door,” Violette insisted. “Wait just a minute.”
“Thanks. I’ll wait for you in the dining room. Should I fetch Marin?”
“No, thanks. All I have to do is get dressed.”
“Well, you’ve got plenty of time, so no rush.”
When Yulan shut the bedroom door, Violette brushed her hair and walked into the adjoining dressing room. At first, she’d used the bedroom closet, but Yulan kept buying her so many new clothes that the room next door had been converted to a dressing room. Yulan even installed a door connecting the rooms, although it would’ve made much more sense just to stop giving her so many gifts. The bedroom closet was now exclusively Yulan’s. It held all his work clothes, loungewear, and everyday wear, but there was still plenty of room to spare.
Marin had organized the room neatly to make it easier for Violette to navigate. She’d divided the rooms into sections so Violette wouldn’t need to dump all her drawers out to find anything, which Violette appreciated greatly. There was still plenty of empty space in the dressing room, but considering the rate at which Yulan gave her presents, that space would be long gone before they knew it.
“I should probably stop him…”
The weekly gift boxes were starting to clutter not only the closet but the corners of their bedroom as well. That didn’t bother Violette, but even she had to admit that the balance of supply and demand was just getting out of hand. The fact that the quantity of Yulan’s possessions was almost insufficient in comparison only exacerbated that feeling. He gladly spent his money like water for Violette, but when it came to his own possessions, he was indifferent. They’d been married many years by now, yet the only things Yulan ever bought himself were work related. Meanwhile, he showered Violette with weekly gifts… Maybe it was time she put a gentle stop to that.
“I know that’s what I should do. Yet…”
As she slid her legs past the hem of the dress he’d bought her only a few days prior, the look in Yulan’s eyes that day returned afresh to her mind.
“I knew you’d look great in that, Vio.”
His cheeks were faintly pink, and his eyes melted with love. That sweet look hadn’t changed a bit over all these years. Years had passed since she’d gone from perceiving him as a cute little brother to the most wonderful husband in the world, and it was unfair that his smile retained traces of boyhood innocence. Yulan knew Violette could no longer voice complaints when he smiled like that. In fact, she’d be speechless. Just as Yulan had a soft spot for Violette, Violette was a sucker for Yulan’s smile. When Marin teased them for being alike, neither could deny it.
Violette’s reflection in the mirror Yulan had just used was a little too casual for company, but she was well-enough put together to see her husband to the door. The frizzy ends of her hair were the only part of her appearance that wouldn’t cooperate, so she secured them in a simple side do.
“Sorry I took so long, Yulan.”
“Not at all. Thanks for seeing me off.”
Yulan was already at the front door, waiting for Violette. The jacket previously dangling off his arm suited him much better than one would expect once he donned it, and he’d changed into his work shoes too.
As Violette ran up to him now, he eagerly grabbed her waist and smiled merrily while gazing into her eyes—although, until his wife entered the room, he hadn’t even twitched an eyebrow. The servants lined up to see their master off were used to this scene at this point—only Violette remained oblivious of the full daily morning routine.
“You really do look great in that suit. Is it comfortable enough?”
“Yeah. The fabric feels nice, and it’s easy to move in. Thanks.”
“Oh, thank goodness.”
Oh dear… Every time I see him smile like that, I’m speechless.
However old he grew, however masculine his appearance became, his smile for Violette was the one thing that would remain forever young. And now that she saw the once undetected adoration in that smile, it always made her feel complete.
“Well, I’d better be off. Contact me immediately if you need anything.”
Violette giggled. “I know, I know. Have a nice day. Take care.”
“I will.”
Their faces nuzzled together in a kiss. Then Yulan got into the car, and Violette waved goodbye. Their garden was so vast that he’d left her sight line before he even stepped out the front gate. Violette stared at the empty garden for a while in a daze. She didn’t know when it had stopped happening, but the breeze never made her cold anymore. She’d once needed to carry a blanket with her everywhere she walked, but now she was fine strolling the garden in just a thin jacket. Her ashen hair flowed in the breeze to the music of the leaves.
It was then that she realized: This would be her third year sharing Yulan’s surname.