Hashimoto took a sharp right turn. I lost my balance and almost hit my head on the passenger-side window.
“The only thing on your mind these days is Sayu,” he grumbled. “That’s not necessarily bad. From what I’ve heard, you take really good care of her. The law wouldn’t look too kindly on it, but from a humanitarian perspective, what you’re doing isn’t wrong… I’m saying that as your friend.”
“So what—” I was trying to say, “So what are you so pissed off about?” But just then, Hashimoto took another sharp turn at an intersection. I heard a thunk, and the car shook. This time, I really did knock my head on the window.
“Can’t you drive a little more carefully?”
“We’re in a rush,” Hashimoto replied without an ounce of remorse. He must have done it on purpose.
“It’s been obvious for a long time what’s important to you. You should have realized what it is by now. And yet, here you are, desperately trying to turn a blind eye right up until the very last second. That’s what pisses me off.”
He wasn’t even attempting to hide his rage. This was so unlike his usual calm demeanor. Even when he griped about work, he always had a carefree smile on his face.
Now, however, Hashimoto was clearly angry. It was the first time in years of friendship that I’d seen him like this.
“And you were just gonna sit at work at a time like this? I could tell from the look on your face that you wanted nothing more than to run out that door,” he spat, casting a quick sideways glance at me. “If you don’t hurry up and figure out what matters to you, it’s going to slip through your fingers.” With that, Hashimoto turned back to watch the road ahead.
His words echoed in my mind.
If you don’t hurry up and figure out what matters to you, it’s going to slip through your fingers.
I got the feeling that was exactly what I needed to hear right now.
“You’re worried about sending Sayu home by herself, aren’t you?”
I couldn’t bring myself to answer straightaway. I knew he was right, though.
“But there’s more to it than that,” he continued. “That might be part of it, but it’s not everything.”
He paused there.
Just then, the traffic light turned red. The car came to a stop, and Hashimoto sent me a piercing stare.
“You don’t want to be separated from her.”
It felt like he was grabbing my insides with his bare hands. My chest ached.
“That’s not true… As long as she’s happy, that’s all that matters.”
“And you think she’ll be happy? Going home like this?”
Bull’s-eye.
That was exactly what I was worried about.
I knew that Sayu had to go home. Circumstances demanded it.
But that would solve only her mother’s problems—not hers.
After all that running away, Sayu had finally begun to smile like she meant it. I feared that smile would be wiped off her face all over again when she went back to her family.
“It’s written on your face,” Hashimoto said, startling me. “You’re my best friend… I can tell.”
The light turned green, and he stepped on the gas pedal.
We both fell silent again.
I thought back on the doubts that had been troubling me before.
What would be best for Sayu? And where had she gone?
I didn’t think she was in any sort of danger. She’d gone missing several times before, and it had always been of her own volition. Considering the timing, it seemed safe to assume that was the case now, too.
“Do you have any idea where she might be?” Hashimoto asked me abruptly.
“No… Well, I do have some ideas, but we’d just be going around to every place I can think of,” I replied, and Hashimoto laughed.
“Sounds like you have your work cut out for you.”
Hashimoto pressed the gas pedal a little harder.
That was when I realized we were only one station away from my stop.
“Driving sure is faster than taking the train, huh?” I remarked.
“The train takes a pretty roundabout route to your stop. Should we start by heading over to your place?”
“Yeah, that’d be great.”
“We can use the car to look for her, too. It’ll be quicker.”
“…Thanks.”
“Save the thanks for when we find her,” he said before lowering his tone. “Yoshida…if something really matters to you, don’t let anything distract you from it. You two need each other. If you’re worried, why don’t you go with her?”
“Go with her? All the way to Hokkaido?”
“Yeah.”
“You think so, too, huh…” I shook my head, and Hashimoto laughed at me.
“What? Did Mishima tell you the same thing?”
“How’d you know it was Mishima…?”
“It just seems like something she’d say.”
Hashimoto knew his stuff. Maybe he’d already caught on to Mishima’s personality—her work habits included.
“We’ll manage at the office. I mean, we’re only working to get paid anyway. Even if things go south, who cares?”
“Come on, that’s way too irresponsible. I’m playing a crucial role in these projects now,” I replied. Hashimoto shot me a sidelong glance.
“You’re playing a crucial role with Sayu, too,” he remarked harshly. “You put yourself in that position, and now she needs you. Wouldn’t it be equally irresponsible to just wave her off with an ‘okay, see ya, good luck in Hokkaido’?”
“…That’s—”
“It’s the same thing. There’s no difference. All that’s left is for you to decide which one matters more.”
He breathed a small sigh.
“…Why do I have to lecture you like you’re a kid?”
“…Sorry.”
But his lecture had helped me realize how I felt. Even I wasn’t that thick.
As I sat in silence, Hashimoto said again, “Work will be fine. You’ve left us some pretty good guidelines. Endou and I will take care of the more demanding work, and Mishima can handle any new tasks that come in. We’ll manage.”
“I suppose so…”
“I won’t say any more. The rest is up to you.”
Hashimoto reverted to his usual calm tone after that.
“I take a left turn here, right?”
At his question, my attention shifted to the car window. The area outside looked familiar. We were at my local station.
“Yeah, it’s a left turn here.”
“I’m surprised how well I remember the way.”
Hashimoto sniffed proudly and quickly made his way to my apartment.
We soon arrived outside. I told him to wait for a minute, then bolted up the stairs to my apartment.
I tried the front door, but it was locked. When I unlocked it and pushed it open, I found Asami sitting in the living room.
“I didn’t realize you were here,” I said.
“I couldn’t just leave the place unlocked, could I?”
“I appreciate that.”
“I take it you haven’t found Sayu…” She sighed, shaking her head. “I’ve looked everywhere I could think of. I stopped by work—even checked our secret spots. There was no sign of her.”
“This might be a long shot, but what about Yaguchi?”
“He’s still on his shift. If you want to talk to him, you’ll have to go to the convenience store.”
“Nah. If he’s working, it’s not him. He’s just the only person I could think of who might try to kidnap her.”
“Wow, you don’t trust him at all. I guess he does have a prior.”
Asami seemed calm, considering how panicked her message had sounded.
“You seem pretty chill.”
“Freaking out won’t help anything.”
“I guess not, but… You’re not hiding her from me, are you?”
“Why would I do that? That wouldn’t do her any good.”
I looked Asami straight in the eye—it didn’t seem like she was lying.
“I’m going to check a few other places I thought of… Sorry to ask, but—”
“It’s fine. I’d just be sitting around worrying if I went home anyway. I’ll wait here.”
Asami, perceptive as usual, guessed what I was going to ask before the words even left my mouth. I wanted someone to stay at home in case Sayu returned while I was gone.
“Okay. I’ll be back before you know it.”
“Roger that. I hope you find her,” Asami said, giving me a little wave.
I rushed out the front door and headed back to Hashimoto.
…Where are you, Sayu?
I gritted my teeth as I climbed into his car, then told him all the places I could think of.
I had to track her down, no matter what it took.
Just then, my phone began to ring.