Kokoro was looking at me with disdain.
“Are you for real? Did you hit your head? You really think girls like that exist?” she asked.
“I don’t want to hear that coming from you!”
“First of all, how can you come out of a party like that saying that there were no cute girls? Lower those standards of yours, will you? Maybe try and look in a mirror for once?” she continued.
Is it me or am I being insulted?
“I-I don’t think I’m handsome or anything! Anyway, you were the one who asked about my ideal girlfriend! You have no right to say things like that!”
“It’s not even about being handsome! You aren’t taking care of yourself in the slightest, but you want her to be cute! That’s the crazy part!”
Kokoro’s words were like a critical hit straight through my chest.
“Not taking care of myself? I wore my best clothes for this party!” I said, my voice shaking.
“And that’s what you came up with? That weird rock band T-shirt, those cheap-looking jeans, a skull necklace, and sneakers that look like you bought them with your mom in grade school? You’re like the first result when you look up pictures of clothes for nerds!”
“Wh-What did you just say?!”
My knees grew weaker and weaker as she continued.
“Before you come to a place like this, shouldn’t you at least buy a fashion magazine or go to a trendy place like Shibuya or Harajuku and see what the other boys your age are wearing?”
I clenched my fists in anger.
Though I didn’t want to admit it, when it came to clothing, Kokoro definitely had the upper hand.
“But otaku girls probably want someone who looks like them, not some kind of stud!” I said.
“Sure, most are probably like that. That’s why there were so many girls at the party today. The average otaku probably wants a boyfriend who’s an otaku as well; one that accepts her taste and is interested in it, takes care of himself, and, if at all possible, is a little bit good-looking,” she said.
“I see?”
“Nobody wants someone like you, whose looks just scream otaku. And more importantly, you said that you’d rather she not be into BL or otome games, didn’t you? An otaku looking down on another’s taste is the absolute worst, just so you know. A boyfriend who isn’t into anime but doesn’t complain about my taste would be a thousand times better!”
I was already shocked, but this was the finishing blow. It’s not like I hated all fujoshi just because they liked BL and otome games. I just preferred girls who weren’t into that kind of stuff. Am I really asking for too much?
“Who are you to speak for all otaku girls anyway?!” I asked.
“I’m an otaku girl, that’s who!” Kokoro replied.
So she’s giving me advice as one otaku to another? But I can’t let her say all that stuff to me without hitting back at least once.
“Anyway,” I said, “you’ve been laying into me all this time, but you know, even if otaku girls don’t like me, otaku boys wouldn’t like you either!”
“Huh?!”
Out of nowhere, the pressure that had been building inside of me caused me to explode.
“A handsome, but not too handsome, guy with black hair who’s good at games, was it? Even if a guy like that existed, he certainly wouldn’t want to date someone like you!”
“What?! How would you know that?!”
“I’m also an otaku! I know all about the things an otaku boy looks for in a girl. And pretty much all otaku boys want a cute, innocent, simple, meek otaku girlfriend to talk about otaku stuff with. That’s the exact opposite of you!”
“The opposite?! Innocent, meek...?” Kokoro started mumbling to herself, completely astonished.
“A-And... you’re sure of that?” she asked.
“It applies to almost all otaku guys, yes.”
“Then... teach me. Teach me how to become the kind of girl that otaku look for!” she shouted.
“Huh?”
She stared at me, her eyes welling up with tears.
“If you do, I’ll teach you how to become a boy that otaku girls actually like. I’ll even help you find places to meet them!” she said.
“R-Really?!”
“But, in exchange, you have to help me as best as you can too! Like, telling me what kind of girl otaku guys want, introducing me to your otaku friends, or just helping me look for someone!”
Up until now, despite wanting an otaku girlfriend with all my heart, I had no idea how to go about it. Everything would be easier if Kokoro, who was an otaku herself, helped me out.
“Okay then! I’ll help you find an otaku boyfriend. I can’t really introduce you to my friends, since none of them are probably your type. But I can tell you how you should act if you want to be liked, and I can help you find the right places to look for them. So you better help me as well!”
I knew exactly what kind of girl otaku were looking for. You might say I was an expert. My knowledge would definitely be helpful to Kokoro.
It sucks I wasted so much time and money coming to this party and that I’ll be going home with nothing to show for it, but maybe it wasn’t totally worthless after all.
I hadn’t found a girlfriend but, at least, I found someone who shared my objective. She was a gyaru, the type of person I hated the most, and she’d done nothing but insult me, but it was much better than going at it alone.
“Perfect! If that’s decided, then come home with me!”
“Oka— What? Home?!”
＊ ＊ ＊
“Whoa.”
The sight of Kokoro’s house amazed me. The whole neighborhood had nothing but big, fancy houses, and hers was no exception.
“I texted Mom and told her I’ll be bringing a friend back,” she said.
“Oh, okay.”
She’d surprised me by inviting me to her house out of the blue, but she’d explained that it was just to use her computer. She wanted to look for potential spots to find otaku dates, but her phone was almost out of data and there’d been no Wi-Fi nearby.
To be honest, the idea made me nervous. I hadn’t been to a girl’s house since kindergarten.
Will her parents mistake me for her boyfriend or something? How should I even act?
“Hm? The door’s locked...” Kokoro murmured, as she tried to open it.
She looked at her phone. “Oh! Mom got back to me. Right, she’s out with friends today.”
“What?”
“Oh well!” She shrugged it off, putting her phone back in her pocket, pulling out a set of keys, and opening the door.
W-Wait, but this means that... My heart was pounding in my chest, and my hands were shaking. More nervous than expected, I froze in place.
“What are you standing there for?” she asked, confused, waiting for me to follow her inside.
“I-It’s just... Y-You see...”
How can she be this cool about it?!
Of course, I didn’t even like her like that and I didn’t think that anything would happen just because we were by ourselves. But still! A boy and a girl, alone together...!
“You aren’t getting any weird ideas, are you? Stop it! We’re just going to look up some stuff online!” she said, countering my nervousness with a mix of hate and disgust.
“I-Ideas?! I was just worried about going inside your home without your parents’ permission!” I replied, angered by her attitude.
She really knew how to be annoying. The fact that I’d get nervous because of someone like her made me even more annoyed.
I made up my mind to ignore the fact that she was a girl, and marched inside the house after her. We went through a hallway, a huge living room, and up the stairs, reaching Kokoro’s room.
As soon as she opened the door, a sweet floral smell enveloped me. Just moments ago, I’d decided not to think these kinds of things, but this was too much for a virgin like me. I think I’m going to pass out.
Up until third grade, I was able to talk to girls just fine. Then I fell down the otaku rabbit hole. Ever since, I haven’t had a single friend of the opposite sex. I even got nervous talking with old ladies in my neighborhood, let alone girls my age.
And now, somehow, I was walking into a girl’s room, all alone with her. I hope I’ll be able to leave in one piece.
“Oh...” Kokoro said all of a sudden, glancing at me. She sighed with a look of disappointment.
“What’s your problem?” I asked her.
“No, it’s nothing. I was just thinking that the first boy to come into my room isn’t even my boyfriend. Not only that, but it’s you of all people,” she said.
“Me of all people?! You’re the one who told me to come inside! Isn’t that rude?!” I replied, outraged.
I’m the first boy she’s ever invited to her room? I thought she’d had more experience of that kind, but you really can’t judge a book by its cover.
I took a deep breath and looked around me.
The walls and furniture were all shades of pink and white, giving off extremely girly vibes. There were shelves lined with shojo manga, a corkboard covered in photographs of Kokoro with her friends, and the bed was full of heart-shaped cushions and plushies.
It was exactly what you’d expect from a girl’s bedroom. However, I noticed something strange.
“It doesn’t look like an otaku’s room at all,” I said.
“Oh, of course. I’m keeping it a secret from my family.”
“Why would you do that?”
“My parents disapprove of otaku culture. They have their reasons,” she said sadly, looking away from me.
Some parents were like that. But this meant that Kokoro had to hide her passions not only at school, but at home too. I didn’t know just how deep into it she was, but for someone like me, that’d be hell.