“I just wanted to say thank you. Like, thanks to you, I can now be an otaku around my family. It’s so liberating, y’know? And I’m grateful.”
That’s cool and all, but people are going to hear you! I thought, quickly checking whether anyone was looking at us.
“Oh, don’t worry,” she said. “I don’t mind if people hear me. I kinda decided that I won’t hide it at school anymore either.”
“What?”
“You know how you told my mom that being an otaku is nothing to be ashamed of? It changed her view a bit... and it changed mine as well. You were right. There’s no shame in it. Some of my classmates watch anime and play gacha games, and they don’t even hide it, so why should I? I was scared about letting people know just how much I like this stuff, but I really don’t care anymore. Of course, I’m not gonna rave about BL and raunchy doujinshi in the classroom or anything like that, but if I keep it to, like, totally safe-for-work stuff... talking about it won’t be a problem. And it probably never was to begin with.”
“Nishina...”
I’d never really thought about it before, but she was right. Even the popular guys and girls talked about anime and games. And, though she understood that discussing lewd manga was a different story altogether, she’d finally stopped hiding her hobbies not only at home, but at school too.
“I’m proud of you. So... did you already tell your friends?”
“Yeah. They didn’t make fun of me or anything. They all were like, ‘So what?’ I feel kinda dumb for hiding it for so long, especially since it made me feel so bad and all. I actually even found out that some of my friends play the same games I do, and I was able to chat about that kind of thing openly at school for the first time... It was awesome. Seriously.”
“Oh, nice. I’m happy for you,” I said, and I genuinely meant it. Now she could be herself in front of her family and friends.
“It’s all thanks to you.”
“Huh?”
“If you hadn’t spoken to my mom like that, I would never have realized all this for myself.”
Nothing I could have said reflected the way her words made me feel. Being told something like that was such a wonderful feeling that I almost felt undeserving of it. All I’d done was tell her mother what I really thought—nothing more. But if my actions had meant more to Kokoro, I could only be happy about it.
“I’m truly glad we met. Thank you for everything,” she said with a melancholy smile.
Yet, somehow, Kokoro’s words made me feel not only happiness, but also loneliness. In a way, it sounded like she was putting an end to all that had happened between us. I don’t know why, but this feels like a goodbye. Perhaps that’s what she really wanted to tell me.
I was staring at her, speechless, but she ignored me and continued.
“That’s that then. Bye, Ichigaya,” she said.
This is it... This is our last goodbye.
All the memories I had of our time together began to flash through my mind. I was the one who had changed. I was the one who was glad we’d met. And it was me who was grateful for Kokoro’s advice and support. Without it, meeting girls would have been out of the question.
But her help had gone further than that. Kokoro had been the source of my motivation. She had been there to root for me, to think of ways to help me, and, sometimes, to tell me off when I was doing something wrong. Most of all, when I was down or hurt or unconfident, she had always been there to save me.
“N-Nishina!” I called after her as she was walking away. She turned around, and I couldn’t help but notice the pain on her face. “If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t be the person I am now either. Thank you!”
She didn’t reply, but she smiled. I stood there, watching as she continued walking away. Even after she’d disappeared from my sight, I couldn’t bring myself to move.
This is really it... Goodbye.
＊ ＊ ＊
That evening, I tucked into some reheated food from the grocery store while on the phone to Elena.
“That Circle Fit Expedition video you uploaded was hilarious! I had no idea you were so athletic. You got so much further into the game than I expected!”
Circle Fit Expedition was a video game that had recently become popular among VTubers. Instead of a normal controller, you played it with a strange circular hoop which you had to bend and stretch in different ways, resulting in a veritable workout while playing.
Elena, of course, was just as involved in the trend and had uploaded an Emily Saionji video just yesterday. Despite her delicate, slim figure and her elegant demeanor, Emily Saionji had a lot of stamina and a surprising amount of strength—so much so that VTuber fans couldn’t stop talking about it.
“Hehe, I have to stretch and take dance lessons as a voice actress, so I think that helped,” Elena replied.
“Voice actresses need to take dance lessons? Whoa. The dancing in the video where Emily sings was amazing too. You’re telling me that you did it yourself?”
“Of course. It would be meaningless otherwise.”
She can really do anything...
Elena and I mostly communicated by text, but around once a week we would have a phone call like this. Thankfully, she always spared me a lot of awkwardness by texting me first to ask if it was okay, which is exactly what she’d done prior to our current phone call.
The only issue was that we hadn’t seen each other, not even once, since our date to the movies during summer vacation. Considering how busy she seemed, I hadn’t been able to bring myself to invite her out.
At school, Elena and I were in different years, so we basically never ran into each other unless we tried to do so. I also still didn’t know whether she was okay with her many friends knowing that she had a boyfriend, so I thought that it was best not to cause a scene.
I still hadn’t talked to her about what had happened with Kokoro—how we had basically been forced to go on a date together, how we had held hands in the haunted house, and how we had (almost) spent a night sleeping in the same room. I knew it would have been better to tell her, but I couldn’t find the courage, and I felt more anxious about it every time we spoke.
“You know,” Elena said, “it’s almost like nothing’s changed since before we were dating.”
“Wh-What do you mean?!”
Really? It doesn’t feel that way to me. We’re chatting a lot, we’re talking to each other on the phone, we’re going on dates...
“I didn’t mean that in a negative way! I’m sorry! I just meant that I’m glad to still be able to talk with you about Emily’s videos.”
“O-Oh.”
That’s good to hear...
To be honest, I had no idea what a couple was supposed to look like. Since I’d never had a girlfriend before Elena, I didn’t know if I was even acting like a proper boyfriend. Now that she mentions it, I’ve been sending her my thoughts about her videos since way before we started dating.
“By the way,” she said, “I was wondering when we could go on another date...”
“Ah, r-right,” I replied, feeling kind of defeated. I’d waited so long to ask her out on another date that she’d asked me first. “What about next Sunday?” I suggested.
“That would work perfectly!”
Next Sunday... That’s the day Nishina will go on her first date with Yuya. Not that that has anything to do with this, but where was it she said they’d be going? Right, the Lemon Slayer collab café, and to karaoke after that...
“Ichigaya? Is something the matter?”
“N-Not at all! I... I was just thinking about where we should go! Do you have anything in mind?”
“Hmm, let’s see... We could go to Dinkyland...”
“R-Really?!”
Dinkyland was an amusement park—no, the amusement park. Without any doubt, it was the most famous in all of Japan.
“I... well...” she said, stumbling for words. “I’ve always wanted to go on a date there. Would that be a problem?”
“N-Not at all! Let’s do it! Dinkyland it is!” I replied, taken aback by her cuteness.
We spoke for a little longer, then decided we would meet at the station closest to the park right before it opened.
“See you there then!” I said.
“I’m looking forward to it!”
“Me too!” I hung up the phone.
With our phone call over, I lay down on the couch, thinking about my upcoming date.
An amusement park date... just like with Nishina. Ugh! Why am I thinking of that right after talking to my girlfriend?! I’m the worst. This is a totally different place anyway. You can’t compare that tiny local amusement park to the world-famous Dinkyland. And Nishina’s mom was with us the whole time, so it didn’t count as a date.
I should just forget all about it. I’ll make new memories with Minami. Nishina will do the same with Yuya. We’re on separate paths now... And Nishina’s already walking off down hers.