“Y-Yeah... I had fun.”
“Did you fuck up at all?”
“N-No... At least I hope not,” I said, sitting down on the couch a bit removed from where she was sitting. This felt like the first actual conversation we’d had in a while, despite living under the same roof.
“Cool,” she said with a smile. “So, anyway... I was thinking I’d leave tomorrow.”
This is even faster than I expected...
“I found a hotel where it’s really cheap to stay for long periods of time,” she added.
“A-Are you sure? Can you really afford that?”
“Don’t worry. My mom’s coming back next month, so it’s just until then.”
“I see...”
After hearing Elena’s opinion on the subject, I guess I should have been grateful to Kokoro for deciding to leave so soon.
“Thanks for everything,” she told me with a smile.
I felt a lump in my throat. “No, it’s nothing...”
“I’m not just talking about letting me live here, you know? I really mean everything.”
“O-Oh! I don’t know if anything I did really helped you though...” I said, even though I was happy to hear that she appreciated my efforts.
“It sure did. It’s also thanks to your advice that things are going so well between me and Yuya.”
“R-Really? I’m glad then...”
The mention of Yuya convinced me that it really was because she had a crush on another guy that Kokoro didn’t want to live with me anymore.
“I... have to thank you too. If it wasn’t for you, I still wouldn’t even be able to talk to girls, let alone date one,” I said.
Kokoro’s advice had helped me a lot over the past few months. I’d become way more comfortable around girls, I’d learned how to make myself presentable, and I’d even become a bit more confident. I honestly believed that living with her had turned my life around.
I used to dream of having an otaku girlfriend, and living with Kokoro had allowed me to live through a series of incredible experiences, resulting in that dream becoming reality. She’d spurred me to go to meetups and cosplay events, to find a part-time job, and more. Through these experiences, I’d been able to meet lots of girls, befriend some of them, and even go on dates.
If I hadn’t done any of those things, I probably wouldn’t be dating Elena—a girlfriend who, to be honest, was too good for me. An introverted, shy otaku like myself could never have achieved that without help. Now more than ever, I realized how valuable Kokoro’s advice had been to me.
“Come to think of it, you’ve changed a lot from when I first met you, huh? But you were the one who got Minami to like you, not me. I still have no idea how you managed to pull that one off...”
“Nishina...”
Everything had started when I happened to find out by pure coincidence that Elena was a VTuber, but Kokoro didn’t know that. I still couldn’t tell her, since the whole thing was supposed to be a secret.
“You should be proud of yourself,” she said. “You’d be the perfect otaku boyfriend for a lot of girls now.”
“N-Nishina...” I said again, surprised that she’d compliment me like that. “Thank you. You know, even if we’re not going to be living together anymore, if you need help with something, feel free to ask me, okay? At school or on LINE.”
The words flowed out of my mouth without me even thinking about them. Kokoro had thanked me for helping her out with Yuya, but, all this time, she’d also depended on my advice. I wasn’t too sure I could still be helpful to her, but if she trusted me enough to rely on me, I could only be happy about that—after all, I trusted her in just the same way.
“Thanks, but I think I’ll be fine.”
All of a sudden, I realized just how embarrassing my offer had sounded. That was kind of arrogant of me. She doesn’t need my advice anymore, and I forced it down her throat...
“From now on, I have to do my best on my own. So you do your best too, ’kay?”
Even though she hadn’t said it outright, I knew what she meant. “You do your best on your own too.” Kokoro didn’t want to have anything to do with me anymore. Her words, her voice, her face... everything seemed to imply that.
You have Yuya now, so you don’t want me hanging around. I get that. I bet you also don’t want to make Elena worry, since you’re friends with her too. And... you’re right. I don’t know why I said we should keep in touch. I’m an idiot. That wouldn’t be fair to Elena either.
Beneath the guilt of having proposed something out of line, however, I couldn’t help but feel hurt by Kokoro’s words. Somehow, the distance she wanted to put between us made me sadder than I’d expected.
She’s right. I know that. But then, why do I feel like this? When did I become so dependent on her? My romance goals are met. Nishina’s are about to be too. We should go back to being strangers... At least, that’s what she wants.
“You’re right... Sorry. Please forget about it,” I said, feeling so uncomfortable that I couldn’t stand one more second in that situation. I stood up from the couch.
“Ichig—”
“Good night,” I interrupted, hurriedly leaving the room.
Tomorrow, Nishina will leave. Our friendship is going to end, and we’ll be back to being complete strangers... But maybe we were never really friends in the first place. We were just helping each other out because we shared a common goal, and now that we’ve accomplished that goal, it’s natural for us to split up.
There must have been something wrong with me. I’d found my perfect girlfriend, and yet saying goodbye to my roommate felt so devastating...