“I’m bac—”
I had just come back from school, opened the living room door, and was stunned into silence by the sight in front of me.
Silky, long black hair. A frilly white blouse. A high-waisted, knee-length, navy blue skirt with thin black stockings. This very combination was popular on the internet not so long ago as one of many outfits that could kill virgins. The beautiful girl in front of me was making it live up to its “virgin killer” name. Over the top, she wore an equally frilly apron as she cooked.
“Oh! Welcome back, Onii-chan! Dinner’s ready!”
I couldn’t find the words to reply.
“Or do you want to take your bath first? The tub is already full.”
“No, wait a second...”
“Well, since it’s ready, might as well eat dinner first, right?”
Ignoring my complaints, the beautiful girl laid food across the coffee table. Everything looked delicious, and the mouthwatering scent of hamburger steak, white rice, and miso soup drifted up my nostrils.
“Let’s eat!” she chimed. We sat together on the couch, chopsticks in hand.
“Hm? Whatcha starin’ at? Ah, I get it! You want me to feed you, don’t you?” she asked.
“Excuse me?!”
“What am I going to do with you? Come now, open wide!”
She took a piece of hamburger and shoved it into my face, so I had no choice but to open my mouth.
“Mmph!”
The meat was much hotter than I expected. I let out a painful moan.
“How is it? Is it tasty? You must be tired after that long day at school! But don’t worry, your little sister is here to listen to all your troubles.”
Tears streamed down my face from having my mouth literally scorched, but she didn’t seem to care, and had moved on to stroking my hair.
“Good boy! You’ve been such a good boy.”
I’d feared for my life when I had that burning hot piece of meat stuffed into my mouth, but I must admit that having my head caressed didn’t feel half bad. She was way too heavy-handed about it, but I could tolerate it. Maybe.
“I-I’ll eat the rest by myself,” I said, hoping to keep the wounds to a minimum, and started eating the hamburger with my own chopsticks.
“Hm... it’s good.”
“It’s not like I made it especially for you! I just wanted to eat hamburger steak and I ended up making too much.”
“What?”
Her change in tone caught me off guard. She was the one who’d asked me how the hamburger tasted, and now that I’d replied she was mad at me.
“And anyway,” she said, “you came home late today and you didn’t text me or anything. Why? I was waiting for you and even made you dinner. Is it another girl? Were you out with another girl?”
“Huh?”
Her expression darkened and she forcefully grabbed my arm.
“Show me your phone. I need to check whether you’ve been texting other girls.”
“Hey, wait!”
“Nishina, you’re getting it all wrooong!” I shouted at her. “The outfit is cute, and preparing dinner is fine too. But what’s with the younger sister roleplay? Then you switched to a caring older sister type! Then tsundere! And then yandere! Make up your mind! There’s so much going on that I’m getting lost!”
“But I just did the stuff I saw in the anime you recommended! All the things that otaku guys are supposed to love! And I performed them all perfectly!”
“Those are 2D girls, and you are 3D. You can’t simply copy everything they do! That’s just weird. You just need to get inspiration from them without forcing it! That’s why I recommended it!”
“Huh?! I read through every doujinshi you gave me, like, ten times, you know?! I even rehearsed my lines. And how expensive do you think this wig was? These clothes are so stuffy I’m almost dying in here!”
Kokoro stood up, furious, and threw her wig to the floor.
Sheesh.
“It’s your fault for not teaching me right. Tell me what I’m supposed to do to become an ideal girl!”
“Uh...?”
“You promised me you’d make me into the perfect otaku girlfriend!”
Why was I, Kagetora Ichigaya, living together with Kokoro Nishina, a popular gyaru (and otaku) girl from my school? Well, it’s a long story...