The lightning flickered into the room, followed by the occasional rumble of thunder in the distance. The rain had yet to let up, growing heavier with each passing minute.
The downpour came with the wild wind, the curtains dancing and the windows creaking loudly.
I walked closer to the bed, and just as I thought Anastasia wasn’t sleeping. This time, she wasn’t trying to hide that she was awake.
She was curled up, looking so small and vulnerable, the blanket barely covering her naked frame.
I sat down on the bed, and it sank under my weight. I took a moment... allowing this sight of her to sink in.
I began with how her straight dark hair fanned out on the pillows. The way her legs pressed against her chest, and her toes pointed.
Despite the lying position, it was as though she was dancing in some surreal way. Maybe her mind was centered on that because I knew dancing was a way of grounding herself.
"Aren’t you cold?"
I noticed how she shivered from the sound of my voice. I leaned close, brushing my hand up her bare thighs, feeling the goosebumps rise as I slid closer.
But I didn’t get to the end as she’d expected. I moved my hand up her arm, feeling her skin hardening bit by bit.
"You’re shivering."
"I’m fine."
"When are you gonna realize that saying that to me won’t work? Anyone else would, but not me, little kitten."
I heard her sigh before she turned toward my direction, the blanket slipping off with ease, her tits bouncing as she got comfortable on the side.
"What was your plan lying naked in my bed?" I asked, amused, hoping I could ease the mood a little.
However, that smile I hoped for didn’t come.
"No plan, just waiting for you," she answered, drawing circles on the sheets.
"You’re angry at me, aren’t you?"
"I should say the same for you too." Her eyebrows furrowed. "You..."
She didn’t finish her words, but I knew exactly what she wanted to say. The startled look in her eyes when I exploded at the bridge hadn’t quite left my head.
"Did I scare you?"
She snorted. "That’s an odd question from you."
"How so?"
"You’re the scariest man I’ve ever met. But seeing you like that... seeing you not amused by the situation like it was something trivial..."
She stopped again, and I figured I had to finish the rest of her words in my head, but she beat me to it.
"It was different... and it was good."
"Good?" I arched a brow. Not exactly what I expected her to say.
"Yes," she said softly. "It made you human."
"Haven’t I been human before?"
"For someone constantly entertained by everything both good and bad, it was a nice change for you."
"Mm..." I muttered. "Is that a compliment?"
She ran a tongue over her bottom lip, and it compelled me to kiss her, but I stayed where I was, simply picturing the taste of her lips on my mind instead.
"How do you do it?"
"Do what?"
"Not feel everything."
"What makes you think I don’t feel?"
When she didn’t reply, I realized I got my answer.
"I feel, Anastasia... too much."
"Liar."
I chuckled deeply. "I’m telling the truth."
She stayed silent, just watching me intensely.
"It’s the truth," I added, more weight entering my tone. "But a man in my position can’t afford to let anyone know that. I didn’t grow up shielded. I didn’t have anyone protecting me or make me feel safe. Yes, I had loyal men my father left behind, but loyalty and protection aren’t the same thing. They’d take a bullet for me, but at the end of the day, I still had to learn to survive on my own."
"You were in with the sharks constantly."
"Something like that..." I murmured. "I couldn’t allow myself to be vulnerable because the moment I do that, they will take from me. I’d rather take from them."
"So you smile constantly even when you’re in pain or angry."
"At some point it became like that. And over the years, even I couldn’t tell that apart. My mood was..." I paused for a second. "Was a version I gave to everyone around me. There was no moment to be weak. I have brothers who depended on me."
"You made yourself the Serpent..." she said softly. "Who is Zade then? The one who isn’t the Serpent? The one that isn’t the billionaire with a fortune to his name."
I paused when she asked me that question.
"Don’t you have an answer?" she asked.
"I guess I’ve spent all my life living up to that name that I have forgotten who I am."
She dipped her gaze to her finger still drawing circles. "You know... for the last two hours I’ve been lying on this bed, I was thinking about how to be more like you."
"Why would you think that?" I couldn’t resist stroking her cheek, and I could feel the warmth beneath my fingertips.
I thought she would be cold, but she was warmer than I expected.
"So that I won’t feel. I thought you didn’t, so I wanted to be like you..." She flicked her eyes to me, the gray colors dull. "But hearing you say all this made me realize you do feel after all, too much."
A faint smile curled on my lips. "It’s a secret, so don’t tell anyone, kitten. There will be consequences."
Then she smiled, and it felt like I had won the lottery, a moment that brightened my mood and maybe hers too.
"Tell me how you’re feeling right now," I asked, and she held my hand tightly.
"Like I’m breaking apart from the inside out."
My throat bobbed at the words, and even a monster like me felt like stabbing myself in the stomach. If I could take her pain away, rob everything so that she could only feel happiness, then I would without hesitation.
What the past had for her was nothing but pain and misery, and it would break her in the way she never expected.
So my goal was to draft a contract, a ruse, so that I could put a ring on her finger and trap her by my side forever.
The starting point was meant to be bumpy for her because her hate for me was inevitable, but as time went by, she would begin to realize that hate was nothing compared to the reserved feelings she had for me.
But in the middle of it, the past caught up to us one way or the other. I told her we should focus only on the future and let the past stay as it was, but turned out I was stuck in it too.
"Do you have anywhere else to go?" she asked in a vulnerable voice.
"Why?"
Her lips pressed in a thin line until I thought she wasn’t gonna speak to me again.
"I don’t want to be alone. Stay. And hold me."
And I did all through the night. Anastasia didn’t once close her eyes, and neither did I, but she wasn’t alone.
~☆~
I walked up behind Anastasia, standing in front of the mirror in her fitted black midi dress. Over it rested a tailored black wool coat.
She was in the middle of fixing the black bow fascinator before reaching for the black leather bag when her eyes connected with mine through the mirror.
"I’m more concerned that all the attention will be on you today," I said, letting my eyes absorb every inch of her.
She was so fucking beautiful. So elegant. And so... mine.
"I’m burying my father," she said as though to get a reaction out of me.
"I don’t see that as a reason not to admire my wife or shield her away from vultures."
She turned to me. "There won’t be much shielding if this rain doesn’t let up."
"It won’t." I cast a look at the window, and the covering of dark skies told me the whole day was gonna be like this.
"I don’t wanna do this."
I dragged my eyes back to her. "Then don’t."
She gulped thickly. "But I have to. He wasn’t so much of a father, but he was still my father."
I sighed, tracing her eyebrow. "I still think we should toss his casket somewhere no one can give him a proper funeral."
Anastasia giggled, but the sound died too quickly for my taste. She’d been reversed for the last few days, but I thought it was better than watching her break down and spiral into theories about her sister being alive.
"As much as that sounds pleasing. This funeral has to happen."
"Unfortunately. Keeping up public appearances is a tedious job compared to showcasing ourselves as a couple. Am I right?" I added with a tease.
Her cheeks swelled. "Unfortunately."
"Everything your father owned is yours now. You’re an heiress."
"Maybe."
I narrowed my eyes. "Maybe?"
"That is, if my uncle doesn’t pop up."