Saintly Aims
MY BROTHERS DIDN’T SHOW UP for dinner that evening. It was just me, Father, Mother, Shaula, and Sirius.
I’m not sure if that had anything to do with it, but Commander Wezen and Sirius headed straight to their office as soon as we got back to the castle. Maybe they were talking to my brothers? I wondered as I silently ate my favorite bread.
“Serafina,” Father said, his face etched with concern as he gazed at me, “I heard you helped your three brothers today.”
Wow. News sure did travel fast! That more or less confirmed that they’d been talking about everything in the office.
“Nuh-uh,” I shook my head from side to side as I answered. “The ones that actually saved them were the knights. You chose a fantastic group of them, Father. They were all very strong.”
“Goodness gracious! Wherever did you learn to be so humble at the tender age of six?!”
“Humble…?” I repeated, unfamiliar with the word’s meaning.
Seeing my confusion, Father’s face took on a pensive look.
“It’s a quality that your brothers lack. They also said that you were quite strong, Serafina.”
Yep, so Father had definitely talked with them about the day’s events.
“What’s that?” Mother chimed in, sounding rather surprised. “Those three boys praised someone other than themselves?”
“At least, that was my interpretation of what they told me,” Father replied.
I can guess that, taken at face value, what they said probably wasn’t very nice.
“Wow! Receiving a compliment from our big brothers?! You’re such a fine saint despite still being so young, Serafina!”
Seeing how genuinely happy my older sister, Shaula, looked for me, a pit began to form in my stomach. I had to come clean.
“I don’t think so,” I protested. “My bind spell wasn’t strong enough to capture all the monsters, and even though Rigel got hurt, I didn’t notice it immediately. I need to try and be an even better saint!”
“What? You’re setting your sights even higher?” Shaula’s eyes widened as if I’d said something truly mind-boggling.
Then Father, in a tone much more serious than usual, asked, “Is that what you really want to do?”
“Yup! I’m going to become a wonderful saint who can protect Sirius and all the knights!”
“Serafina,” Father continued, “I do recall you telling me you wanted to be a combat saint, but I thought that was still a long way off. I only just gave you permission to go into the battlefield with Sirius the other day. I didn’t expect an opportunity for that to become a reality to present itself so soon.”
“We just so happened to fight together today.”
“Yes, and the fact that you were able to jump right in is what’s so unusual. Not to mention, both Sirius and Wezen reported that you performed your duties as a saint admirably.”
I could imagine Sirius saying that, but Commander Wezen had spent most of his time hunting down monsters with little attention on me. Could he really have seen what I did?
I tilted my head confused, as Father sighed, his expression pained.
“This is troubling. If others start to believe that Serafina is a saint capable of fighting on the battlefield, everyone will expect her to take on that role when the situation arises. But she’s only six years old—far too young to be sent into battle. Still, if there are no other saints present, they’ll likely turn to her for that responsibility.”
Fathered drummed his fingers rhythmically on the table.
“If that’s the case…should I be having her train more seriously as a saint?”
To be fair, Father’s concerns were justified. If I were trained to avoid getting injured on the battlefield, my skills as a saint would improve. If everyone started to recognize my abilities, that would then lead to more opportunities for me to be sent into battle. Which for me, that would be a dream come true. I wanted to become an excellent saint who could protect Sirius as soon as possible.
I set the bread I had been eating back on my plate and stood up, pushing my chair back with a loud clatter.
“Father, you once said that you wanted to raise me as a princess who gets everything her heart desires, right? But I’d rather be a saint and save everyone than be pampered as a princess! For me, hearing ‘You’re a saint who saved many lives’ would be far more meaningful than ‘You’re a lovely princess.’”
Father’s expression faltered as I confessed the secret wish I had kept locked away in my heart for so long.
“Serafina!”
I knew this probably wasn’t the best topic to bring up over dinner, but the momentum was already on my side, and I couldn’t stop myself. I clasped my hands together and bowed my head.
“Please, Father! I’d rather train to be a great saint than study to be a great princess!”
“Th-that’s…” Father seemed to be at a loss for words, but I stared at him with pleading eyes, hoping to get my feelings across.
As I was doing that, Shaula looked back and forth between Father and me, then spoke up in a genuinely confused tone, “I’m a saint too, you know. That’s why I train twice a week. The captain of the Saint Knight Brigade even said that with only this much training, I’ll have all the skills I need to become a perfectly good saint. Serafina, since you and I both have red hair, we have the potential. You don’t need to work so hard—you can be a great saint even without pushing yourself so hard.”
“Shaula…” I murmured.
My big sister wasn’t wrong. Just like with sewing or learning a foreign language, training twice a week was probably all it would take to become a respectable saint.
“Still, since you are a princess, when you get a little older, you’ll have to go to things like tea parties, fancy events, and take trips abroad. At those kinds of places, it’s all about showing off how ladylike you are, but in a subtle way, such as throwing in Arteagian words when you speak, or quoting some old poems, just to show everyone how smart and refined you are.”
In other words, I needed to study to the point where I could casually speak some Arteagian or quote old poems without making a fool of myself as a princess.
“You’re a princess, so it’s not like you can ditch those responsibilities altogether,” Shaula continued. “If you only focus on saint training and ignore your princess lessons, you’ll end up embarrassing yourself in the future. You should balance things out and put more effort into your studies as a princess.”
It was probably true that my manners as a princess weren’t very good. I recalled all the times my brothers teased me for my poor etiquette. Sirius always got cross with them when they went too far, but they were just speaking their minds.
“It might sound dull and tedious, but all those little things add up, and then people start saying stuff like, ‘Oh, that princess is really well educated.’ Before you know it, your marriage prospects go through the roof.”
After stating that, Shaula looked at our mother as though she was seeking her support. “Mother, don’t you suppose Serafina’s saying all this because she hasn’t had enough fun experiences as a princess?”
“Huh?” I responded, thinking that I’d had plenty of good times with Seven and the knights.
Shaula stroked both the shoulders of the dress she was wearing, “Wearing pretty dresses is so much fun. And it’s also enjoyable to go to a grand theater and watch a play from an excellent seat. When royalty attends, the actors make small changes in their performance and say lines just for us. It’s such a thrilling spectacle.”
“Oh, really?” I nodded thoughtfully; I’d never experienced any of the things that Shaula was describing.
“You’re only six, Serafina. There’s still so much that you don’t know. If you focus on your education as a princess, your life will definitely be filled with fun!”
I felt like I understood what she was trying to say, and I also knew she was saying it for my own good. Wearing pretty dresses, eating delicious food, and watching a special performance all sounded like a splendid time. It would also be nice to have the right manners and education so people would fawn over you with compliments like “You’re magnificent!” or “How wonderful!”
But if Sirius and the knights got hurt while I was having a good time, I’d probably feel so bad that all that happiness and enjoyment would just disappear.
It felt like everyone in the room wanted me to be a proper princess who was respected by others, so saying anything that went against that felt daunting. But I took a deep breath, mustered up my courage, and finally replied, “I…don’t desire to be a perfect princess. I’ll study as best I can because I don’t want to embarrass Father or Mother, but I don’t need anyone to praise me for being a good princess.”
“Serafina…”
Seeing how bewildered Father, Mother, and Shaula looked, I realized that I was causing a lot of trouble for them, and I immediately felt apologetic for being so selfish. But I was also so overwhelmed with my desire to become a saint that I was only doing what felt right for me. I hung my head, unable to bear looking them in the eye.
No one said anything after that, and the silence hung heavily in the air, only interrupted by the sound of a chair scraping against the floor.
Steady footsteps walked in my direction until someone was standing right behind me.
Still unable to lift my head, I suddenly felt hands reach out from behind and gently rest on my shoulders.
“Your Majesties, Serafina is blessed to have been born your child.”
I recognized Sirius’s voice coming from behind me. So he was the one standing there. My heart soared at the realization he was on my side.
“Please allow Serafina to do as she pleases so that she can become even happier.”
Sirius’s words were so supportive, and when I heard his deep voice, it made my chest feel all tingly. His warmth from his hands made my shoulders, which had been a little chilly, feel all cozy. The heat from his touch soon spread throughout my entire body.