Psycho marked the occasion by uttering a line from a certain epic poem.
“Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.”
They were standing before the gate of despair. And the name of that despair was…
“School Village… I guess this is the place.”
A wooden wall towered before them amid the gloomy trees spreading out to the left and right as far as the eye could see. The gate nestled between the walls was topped with a ceramic tile roof, designed in a fashion that was sure to spark nostalgia in anyone who had come from Japan.
This portal was also currently emanating powerful waves of despair—hence Psycho comparing it to the gates of hell. The reason for this despair was that they knew the peculiar location known as School Village, famous for producing Japanese-style school PE swimsuits and samurai swords, awaited them on the other side of the still-closed gate.
“PE swimsuits and katanas. I thought this was supposed to be another world. Why are we running smack-dab into Japanese culture way out here?”
Homura had an extremely bad feeling about this. Sure, she got homesick at times, but despite this mysterious village’s attempts to tug at her heartstrings, it sounded like there were plenty of things she didn’t miss waiting for her inside as well.
“Maybe cultures just dovetail sometimes, even in another world…,” said Psycho. “I mean, is it really that big of a surprise? We’ve seen plenty of things already that seemed familiar. Like the buildings, or the ways people eat.”
“Now that you mention it, you’re right… A lot of the towns and streets looked like something you might find in Europe. The food also seemed like pretty normal stuff for other countries…”
Homura thought back to their first visit to Galdorssia, and she recalled how it had reminded her of something out of an old European town. Even before they reached Galdorssia, there had been the horse-drawn wagon to contend with. There were plenty of elements here that seemed like they would fit right in back on Earth.
“Even on Earth, similar pyramids were apparently built in both Egypt and Central America,” said Psycho. “Maybe coincidences like these are just inevitable.”
“Maybe, but this still feels a little excessive…”
It made sense there might be similar weapons, but what possible explanation could there be for the fact that the village was producing the kind of swimsuits used in a Japanese PE class? Homura had a serious bone to pick with the creator of this world.
“I’m sorry for dragging you all into this,” Jin said sheepishly.
Homura responded in a fluster. “No, no, it’s fine! That’s not what I meant! We’re not just here for your sake; what you need, we all need,” Homura said.
Though to be honest, Homura was none too thrilled to be here. She didn’t have the most pleasant memories attached to school swimsuits.
“As soon as we get what we came for, let’s just get the hell out of here.”
Their main objective for visiting School Village was to get their hands on a new weapon. Jin’s katana had broken during their last fight, and this village was known for creating weapons very similar to Japanese katanas.
Through a complicated series of events, Jin had actually already acquired a new katana. However, it was also a cursed, malefic sword that encroached upon her mind whenever she wielded it, making it difficult to use. She needed another one that was just plain and ordinary.
Sadly, they had no choice. This was a matter of life or death. After making up their minds, they had crossed several mountains to the east of the port town of Aurerich before eventually arriving at School Village.
“Let’s hope we get our hands on a katana before anything else happens first…” Homura offered a little prayer to God. Of course, God was back at the church in Galdorssia, so she probably couldn’t hear them at the moment. Which was probably for the best. God didn’t need to be bothered right now.
Homura and the others stood before the entrance to the village, already eager to leave. Proto turned toward the others and cocked her head.
“I thought you all wanted to eat some of that rice stuff you’re always going on about. It’s all you four ever talk about.”
“That’s right! Mmm, rice…”
Homura had completely forgotten. What she wouldn’t give right now for some sticky white Japanese rice. A vision of a piping-hot bowl floated into her mind’s eye while Jin, who was standing next to her, nodded emphatically. Proto, who couldn’t understand their obsession, looked exasperated.
“I don’t get why you’d want to eat those gloopy little white pellets so badly in the first place…”
Gloopy white pellets?!
“Don’t phrase it like that! I mean, yes, they are kinda gloopy, and white, and pellets. But it sounds so gross when you put it that way!” Homura said, scolding Proto.
“Geez, whatever…” Proto surprised Homura by turning away, seeming downcast. “It’s not my fault. I just don’t get what the big deal is.”
Homura felt her stomach drop. She should have thought about how her words would affect Proto.
“Y…you’re right. We just come from different cultures, that’s all. Maybe I got a little carried away…”
Homura felt bad for yelling. Proto was a mechanical life-form from outer space. It wasn’t just that their cultures were different; Proto was a completely different type of entity. It was unfair of Homura to expect Proto to have the same touchpoints a human did just because Proto happened to look human on the outside.
Proto often had mean things to say when it came to food in particular. But she probably just felt left out because she couldn’t understand what it meant to eat. Regardless, it was important to compromise and meet each other halfway.
“It’s fine, I shouldn’t have said it that way. From now on, I’ll choose my words more carefully when describing how you carbon life-forms mash things up with your intake holes.”
“No, don’t say it like that! You’re doing it on purpose now!”
Homura was positive Proto was just making fun of her now. Meanwhile, Tsutsumi’s stomach suddenly began to rumble. Maybe because Homura, who was so worried about meeting Proto halfway, had been talking about food.
“Nothing puts a dent in your appetite, does it, Tsutsumi?”
Tsutsumi also had her own way of thinking and feeling about things, seeing as she had been raised as a living bioweapon. It didn’t matter what gross phrases Proto decided to use; Tsutsumi was always ready to eat.
“Eating should be…a time to unwind, free from…interruption. To recover…from the world…”
“Tsutsumi, the solitary gourmet!”
Apparently Tsutsumi didn’t care what went on around her, so long as people left her alone to eat in peace. But God help anyone who got in the way of her food. She would shut them up with brute force if need be. Just asking Tsutsumi to share a bite or two off her plate was enough to earn you a bloodcurdling stare.
It was important to give Tsutsumi a wide berth while she was eating.
Tsutsumi’s stomach growled again, letting them all know how hungry she was.
“Oh, I know!” Homura decided to extend a helping hand—for Tsutsumi’s sake, of course. “Tsutsumi, if you need something to keep your mouth busy, you’re welcome to suck on my thumb for now.”
Homura held out her thumb, motivated by about 10 percent virtue, 90 percent vice.
“Tsutsumi,” said Proto, “if you need something to keep your mouth busy, I can make you some nice, fresh mincemeat patties. It will only take me a minute.”
She reached into the wagon to withdraw her war hammer while Psycho grabbed Homura from behind in a full nelson to prevent her from running away.
“All right! Let’s grill us up some people burgers!” she cheered.
“I was just making a joke!” Homura protested. “Oh no! Tsutsumi’s stomach is growling even louder now!”
Tsutsumi’s stomach rumbled again, this time at twice the volume.
“Mm-hmm…hamburgers…”
Tsutsumi began to drool. Homura was already starting to look like a giant hamburger to her.
“Stop behaving like fools. It’s time to go inside,” said Jin, and she knocked on the gate.
A man’s voice greeted them from the other side. “Is that visitors I hear? Hold on a moment, let me open the gate!”
“Ahhhhh, I’m not mentally prepared yet…!”
Homura was released from the full nelson, narrowly escaping being made into mincemeat, but she had other problems to worry about now. What was going to show up on the other side of that gate? Was it hope, or was it despair?
Proto and Tsutsumi quickly threw on their hooded robes as the gate began to creak open.
“Sorry about that. Things have been pretty hectic lately, so we’ve been keeping the gate shut tight until visitors arrive. We weren’t expecting any merchants today.”
As the gate swung open, light spilled out onto the gloomy, tree-lined road, blinding them for a brief moment.
“Ugh, it’s so bright.”
A moment later, they had adjusted to the brightness, and color returned to the world. The girls gasped as they caught sight of what awaited them inside.
“What is this place…?”
It looked like a scene lifted straight from a traditional Japanese countryside.
“Are we sure we’re not actually in Japan right now…?” said Homura.
There was a clear, flowing river, and vibrant paddies stretched off into the distance. Thatched wooden houses stood in rows, with spinning water wheels feeding the fields. A passing breeze swept over them, carrying with it the scent of rice plants.
“I can’t believe it. I thought this was supposed to be a different world—”
Looking closer, however, Homura saw that the women planting seedlings in the paddies were all wearing PE-style swimsuits while they worked.
“Whoops, I guess I spoke too soon. This isn’t Japan after all. I better just burn the whole place down to be safe.”
Homura placed a hand on the gatepost, causing the wood to sizzle.
“Hey! What do you think you’re doing?!”
As one would expect, the gateman was angry.
“I didn’t mean to! She told me to do it!” Homura quickly pointed a finger at Psycho, trying to shift the blame.
“I didn’t say anything…! I thought it, but I didn’t say it!”
As you would expect, Homura was the only one to receive a lump on her head from the man.
“Oww!”
She felt her brain shake in its pan. She also received another lump from Psycho. As one would expect.
“You’re gonna get a scolding from me for that later.”
“I didn’t mean it. My mouth and my finger just moved on their own…”
“Wait, those badges… Are you five with the Phalanx of Blades? I figured you weren’t merchants, but that explains why you look so banged up. Let me guess: You’re on your way back from a mission but had business here first,” said the man at the gate, eyeing the sword-shaped badges affixed to the girls’ lapels.