During late nights, when few sorcerers come to Harré, the guild is staffed in pairs. The canteen is closed at this time of day, so no sorcerers stick around longer than they have to. It’s at this time deep in the night, when the guild is far quieter than it ever is during the day, that a pegasus comes descending from the sky.
Sulking after they refused to let me join their emergency meeting regarding Zozo, I’m working overtime to prepare a report compiling our total requests, as well as demon-investigation reports to be submitted to the kingdom, when all of a sudden Alkes comes to tell me that the knight commander has arrived. With no other choice, I leave my office to see him. What brings him here so late at night?
My only source of comfort is that Alkes is here, staffing reception. I’ve been relying on him for things every now and then.
Grove Dalvesp... Truth be told, I’d rather avoid him if I can. It’s too bad expressing that thought through my words and attitude has no effect on him whatsoever. I don’t want to see him tête-à-tête, but it’s not that bad when there’s a third party present.
“Are you okay, Director?” asks Alkes with a smile, seeing my scowl.
“I’m fine. Thanks for letting me know.”
I go to the guild’s entrance, not bothering to hide my displeasure as I ask Grove what he’s doing here, to which he replies he happened to be in the area and decided to drop by. Why couldn’t he just continue on his way? Surely he has something better to be doing at this hour.
Stretching his large shoulders with a tired look, he tells me he’s on his way back from Sheera, having made some progress investigating the shape-shifting demon on his visit to Orcinus together with Sheera’s knight commander and decided to make a temporary return. Sigh... Seriously, if you’re tired, just go straight to your barracks.
I am, however, interested in that demon, so I lead him to the canteen and sit down at the opposite end of a large eight-person table with him, resting my chin on my hand. The chairs at this table are the only leather ones in the canteen, and are thus much softer and more comfortable than all the others. I’ll put up with a headache or a backache, but not both—not now.
Basically, I took this here because I expect this to get long, and perhaps it’s a testimony to my being okay with it taking a while. A little surprised at my lack of intent to shoo him out as soon as I can, I end up scowling again.
“This is what you look like right now,” says Grove, raising the outer corners of his eyes with his fingers to mimic a scowl. What a nasty man.
“Rude. So, what did you find out in Orcinus?”
“Its new king has given me permission to investigate. So we’re just getting started.”
“What, you haven’t made any progress at all yet?”
“Pretty much. Sheera wants to forge a military alliance, though.”
“What? Are they planning to go to war?”
With whom? This is really out of the blue.
“Now, now, don’t jump to conclusions,” he chides.
I’m pretty sure news of an imminent military alliance would make anyone—okay, maybe not Alkes, but my point stands—jump in their seat a little.
“They simply want to hold joint military exercises to prepare for when the next demon kingpin threatens the world. They want to establish emergency communication channels, that sort of thing.”
“Ohhh, I see. That makes sense.”
The status quo changes day by day.
“Talk in Sheera is they’re holding a big wedding for their princess soon. You’d think the whole nation was already midfestival, looking at it.”
“She’s marrying her servant, right? They really made their love come true despite everything... Time sure flies.”
At some point, all the employees except Alkes took their breaks. As I check on him at the counter, he does a slight bow in greeting. If it’s only Alkes here, surely no one would mind if we had a more private conversation for a moment.
“I...haven’t wanted to change. Ever since then,” I say, changing the topic.
Things change as time moves on. There’s no stopping it, and wishing for things to remain the same will only get you left behind. Ever since the day Eruve was murdered, I’ve resisted the ticking of the clock, but there’s nothing I can do to halt or push back the hands of time—tempting as it always seems.
“But the seasons keep turning. I’ve grown older. All despite how I wish to remain my old self forever.”
I don’t want to change. I don’t want to move on, leaving those radiant times behind. I’m a fair bit older than Eruve now, but I keep my hair as it was back then, cutting it every time it grows a little.
My feelings haven’t changed either. And I still intend to catch the true Black Pegasi Slayer. The kingdom and the knights may have given up, but I’m never going to. I will find them and chase them to the ends of the earth. As long as I remain true to this goal, Eruve will never disappear from my heart.
“Have I...changed?”
My vision blurs; I feel something hot in my eyes. No matter how much I wish to remain the same, I can’t stop my body from growing day by day, and everything and everyone around me has changed from back then. Fewer flowers show up on Eruve’s grave compared to before. Even if I don’t forget about him, others do. I don’t want to live in such a world. I’m so tired of chasing after the idea of his lingering image and crying every time.
“I wish at least I could remain the same...”
I can’t let my body or my feelings change from the time I loved him. I don’t want to let such a thing come to pass. What kind of face is Grove making now? He might be exasperated with me for spouting nonsense all of a sudden.
“You’ve changed,” he says at last after a pause, in a low voice that makes those words resonate in my ears.
Is that really the best thing he can say to a woman in these conditions? Looks like this man really does have no consideration for other people.
“You’ve become much more beautiful.”
The sound of the ceiling fan feels suddenly so much more obtrusive.
Though I’m not looking at Grove’s face, that voice of his brings to mind an awfully kind face he’s probably making right now, and it frustrates me. I can tell my cheeks are hot without even touching them, but pretend not to notice. I’m irritated with myself for shedding tears over his words.
“Why...won’t time...stop...?”
Maybe it’s my fault for working so late. Pressing my face into my tearstained arm, I fall asleep.