Despite the fact that I had retired at a most reasonable hour the night before, I awoke the next morning feeling more weary than refreshed. I rubbed at my heavy eyelids, attempting to banish the remnants of sleep that clung stubbornly to my lashes. What time is it? my groggy mind wondered. I tried to sit up and glance at the clock, but I found myself inexplicably hindered in my efforts. A strange pressure held me fast by the waist, preventing even the slightest movement. Sluggishly, I tilted my head downward—only to discover a heavy, muscular arm draped across my midsection.
My face burned as the memories came flooding back. That’s right, I thought, the undeniable truth hovering at the edge of my awareness, though I barely dared to examine it too closely. Ed and I...consummated our union last night, didn’t we? I took an inventory of my feelings: there was some embarrassment, it was true, but also a bubbling joy—and no disgust or shame or discomfort. There was satisfaction—and also relief, I realized. We had been together for so long, yet in all that time, Ed and I had shared nothing more sensual than chaste kisses. I knew he loved and cherished me, but the absence of what I assumed was customary intimacy had left a silent question lingering within me—one unanswered until now. He did desire me. I was a woman in his eyes. I had barely acknowledged the weight of those doubts when they had been pressing upon me, but now that they were lifted, how light I felt! Ed and I were now truly bonded as man and wife, with no obstacles remaining to us as lovers. The thought brought a tender smile to my face.
I allowed these warm, loving emotions to blossom in the garden of my heart, then turned to face my husband, who even in his sleep wouldn’t let me out of his arms. At rest, the hard lines of his face gave way to softer shapes, a glimpse of the boy he undoubtedly once had been. Cherubic was the word that came to mind, and the selection of this adjective made my eyes dance with amusement as I admired this newfound aspect of the man I loved.
As I gazed upon him, something else dawned on me—I felt no...intimate discomfort whatsoever. No aches, no soreness, not even the lingering fatigue one might expect. I recalled Ed’s gentleness and consideration from start to finish, and I couldn’t help but smile wider. It must’ve been hard for him to hold back with such care, yet he had done so without the slightest hesitation. I couldn’t help but wonder: Can he even enjoy himself under such self-imposed restraint?
And I wasn’t talking strictly about last night. Ed had always placed my needs above his own, so much so that I doubted if he ever thought to put himself first at all. It was his steadfast nature, his unwavering love, that had given me the strength to overcome my past and become the woman I was today. The love of this one man had transformed me entirely, molding my heart into a beautiful shape I could never have imagined.
The swell of affection within me grew, coalescing into a single thought, profound in its simplicity. “Thank you, Ed—for loving me.” The words tumbled from my lips, as if they had a mind of their own, expressing my desperate wish to convey my gratitude to him, even if he was still lost in the land of dreams.
But then Ed stirred, and his eyes fluttered open. “You stole the words straight from my mouth, my love,” he said in a soft voice. “Thank you, Lina—for falling in love with me. I love you.”
His voice, though rough with sleep, was laden with love and affection. My heart melted at the sound, a gentle smile gracing my lips as I looked upon the man who had given me everything without my ever needing to ask.