Mistress looked at me, her head slightly tilted in confusion, while my dear younger brother’s brow furrowed in a manner which seemed decidedly less than pleased by my intrusion.
Suppose I can’t blame him for being wary, I mused. After all, I had tried to step between them in the past. His attitude, disrespectful as it may have been, was completely justified. I accepted it without much protest, merely giving a slight shrug of acknowledgment.
Standing at a polite distance—neither too close nor too far—I lifted my hands in a playful gesture of surrender, elbows bent, trying to ease the tension. “I’ve only come to talk today, Brother. That is all, I assure you. Should you doubt my word, you are welcome to remain and hear everything that I say for yourself.”
To further show my harmless intent, I took a step back, keeping my posture relaxed. But Edward’s distrusting gaze never faltered.
“As if I’d leave you alone with her for a second,” Edward replied coldly, wrapping a protective arm around Carolina, pulling her close against him. It was a gesture of possessiveness so blunt and forthcoming that I almost laughed. Almost. Instead, I settled for a wry smile, though a flicker of pain shot through me. I knew this vigilance, this defensiveness against me, was entirely of my own making, yet it still stung to be so distrusted.
“What is it you came to say, Gilbert?” Edward continued, his voice steady but firm. “We didn’t plan on being out here for much longer.”
His words were direct, his intentions clear: whatever words I had come to relate, they had better be brief.
What am I, a wild beast? I thought, feeling a slight twinge of exasperation at Edward’s relentless wariness. But despite that, I was still grateful he was willing to allow me to speak at all. “Thank you, Brother,” I said with a soft nod. “I’ll keep it brief, of course.” I tried to ameliorate the awkwardness by offering him a kind smile, hoping it might ease some of the tension. Unfortunately, my attempt only seemed to have the opposite effect—Edward’s face tightened even further. Standoffish, I supposed, was the most charitable way to describe his demeanor, though threatening was likely the more accurate word. Yet, what could I do? I deserved it all and more.
His gaze sharpened, urging me to get to the point, and so I took a steadying breath before I, in one swift and determined motion, sank to the ground and knelt before them.
“To begin, I owe you an apology, my mistress,” I said, my voice low but clear. “For misleading you about my recovery and for inciting Edward’s wrath, which in turn brought harm upon you. The fault is entirely mine, and I am deeply sorry for it.”
Carolina’s eyes widened. Clearly, she had been unprepared for such an apology, especially one coming so late. I had avoided the subject for so long that she must have thought I would never address it. But if this act of humility could earn back her trust, it was a small price to pay—especially considering what I next intended to say.
Slowly, deliberately, I lifted my gaze to meet hers, feeling the quickening of my pulse as the moment drew closer. Despite my anxiety, a small, bittersweet smile began to tug at my lips. “Though it pains me to do so right after apologizing, I must ask you one final favor, Mistress. I must ask that you indulge me one last time.”
I held her gaze intently, pouring every ounce of my sincerity into my eyes. I wanted her to feel the weight of my words so that she would understand the depth of what I was about to reveal.
“I am in love with you, my mistress.”
The words fell from my lips like a confession of sin. What a decadent, corrupt man I was—to confess my love to a married woman, and in front of her husband (my own brother) no less. I understood the gravity of my actions, the transgression I had committed. But it had to be done. The wound had to be laid bare, for only then could I begin to heal.
I was to be crown prince. After that, emperor. Malcosias needed to be my sole focus, my unwavering priority. I couldn’t afford to be swayed by any distractions, least of all the complication of an unrequited love.
I had told myself this very thing countless times over the past few weeks, hoping it would help me to move on. But despite my best efforts, a part of me stubbornly clung to Carolina, my mistress—yearning, wanting.
Thus, I had confessed—so that I might be rejected once and for all.
Of course, it burned at me, the patheticness of it all—to be so helpless that I had to ask the very woman I loved to put me out of my misery. But the price of staying silent was far too high for me to bear. Becoming crown prince, with all the power that position entailed, was dangerous enough. Add the weight of an overwhelming limerence, and it became a volatile mixture. I could already feel it—that destructive urge, that insidious desire. The temptation to use my power to rip Carolina away from Edward, to claim her for myself. Truly, there was no greater tyranny than that of a man in love, and I could not allow myself to become that.
It should have ended there—with my miserable confession of adoration. But despite myself, despite the voice of reason screaming that no more needed to be said, that I stood to gain nothing but might certainly lose everything, my deluge of words continued.
“I love you,” I reiterated. “The earnest you. The kind you. Whether you’re chiding me with concern or smiling over the beauty of a flower, I love every part of you... Wholly and without reserve. If it’s not too bold of me to ask, is there a world in which I could be the one to make you smile? Would that be too much to wish for, my dear mistress?”
This was, I knew, an exercise in futility, a hopeless plea that would lead to a foregone conclusion—there were many ways to describe my foolish persistence, and none of them were flattering. Yet despite knowing the answer, I needed to hear it. I needed closure.
To my surprise, Edward remained silent. His glare was still sharp and unyielding, but perhaps he understood the nature of this “final indulgence.” He let me speak without interruption, though his patience was clearly wearing thin.
My mistress...also said nothing. Her brow furrowed prettily, and she seemed at a loss. But behind that hesitation, I could sense something deeper—perhaps a trace of that same understanding. Her gaze wandered with her indecision for a moment more before finally settling on me with a grave determination.
She drew a steady breath, and with a clarity that both stilled and shattered my heart, she spoke.
“Your Highness, I acknowledge the depth of your feelings, but please know that I cannot accept them. My affections lie solely with Edward Ruby Martinez, and nothing shall ever change that. Humbly, and with all due respect, I must decline your request.”
There was no hesitation, no ambiguity, no room for lingering hope. Her rejection was clear, total, and indifferent—exactly what I needed to sever the stubborn ties of this, my first love. She dipped her head gracefully in apology, her demeanor as regal as ever.
And though her rejection cut deeply, there was something else there—something that prevented my heart from shattering completely. Gratitude. A quiet, profound gratitude for the opportunity I’d given her to provide a clean break between us.
Thank you, Mistress, I thought as the pain settled in. Thank you for making this as clear as it could be. Now, with no regrets, no lingering attachments...I can finally move forward.
I clenched my fists tight and squeezed my eyes shut against the sharp pain of heartbreak. Every bit of affection I had harbored for her only made it hurt all the more. But it was, I was surprised to find, a good pain, the kind that signals a push in the right direction. It was keen, it was real, but it was also the beginning of acceptance.
With that bittersweet sensation thrilling through my veins, I slowly rose to my feet. I looked at Carolina—at the pained expression etched on her face—and forced a smile.
“Sorry about that, Carolina,” I said, intentionally using her name, stripping away my suggestive title for her. “I do apologize for foisting such a difficult task onto you. But you have handled this rejection with grace and kindness, so I thank you.” I paused briefly to take a breath. “I apologize for keeping you out in the cold. Please, go back inside. Enjoy the party.”
I stepped aside, gesturing towards the warmth of the hall. Carolina gasped, seemingly taken aback that I’d referred to her normally for once, exactly as any member of her extended family might, while my brother stared at me with that impenetrable, stony expression of his.