Lina and I took a short breather once we had unpacked our belongings. After commending our servants for a job well done, I dismissed them from our guest room, leaving Lina and me alone at last.
My heart soared. How long has it been since I had some quality time with my beloved wife? I caught my darling Lina’s eye, and she flashed me a smile, moved over to the chair by the window, and began to...embroider.
She worked quietly, eyes glued to her fingers as they placed stitch after stitch after stitch. When she noticed me watching, her eyes crinkled with a gentle apology; she explained that her task was urgent. Her explanation complete, she returned her attention to the delicate fabric.
Well, so much for quality time.
But that was all right. If Lina deemed her work of critical importance, then my role was to support her with patience. Though my hands were idle, my eyes found solace in observing her. Watching Lina was never a chore—it was a privilege. Each moment spent admiring her revealed another layer of her beauty, each detail more enchanting than the last. Indeed, I could happily spend a lifetime just like this, discovering the endless facets of the woman I loved.
She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear—a simple, innocent gesture that meant nothing more than that she wished to keep it from obstructing her work. Yet, oh, how it stirred something deep within me. My breath caught, a soft sigh nearly slipping past my lips, but I quelled the sound—along with the sudden and overpowering urge to sweep her up from that chair, lay her down on the bed, and pin her beneath me. She’s holding a needle in her hand, I reminded myself. Are you trying to hurt her?
And if I did cover her body with mine, what then? Would I be able to rein in my desire, to apologize and retreat if she protested? Or would that wilder, untamed part of me come to the fore?
No, I told myself, struggling to restrain the heat building within. I needed to distract myself, to divert my thoughts before her next innocent gesture shattered my self-control completely. The best course would be to distance myself, at least for now. Some time apart would cool my head and help me regain control.
I crossed the room and crouched beside her, bringing my gaze level with hers so that I might ask her sincerely. “Lina,” I began, my voice steady despite the turmoil inside, “would you mind if I went to pay Teo a visit?”
She glanced up at me and said, “Of course not,” so casually and so gently that it nearly undid me. I thanked her, to which she responded with a laugh sweeter than anything. “For what?” she asked, her eyes twinkling with amusement. I managed a smile, stood up, and made my way to the door, waving a final goodbye before closing it behind me.
Out in the corridor, I let out a heavy sigh. Walking away from Lina, from a rare moment alone together, was a sacrifice, but it was a necessary one. Better this than risking losing control, than letting my desire turn me into something I wasn’t.
I better actually go see Teo, I thought, knowing that a lie, even a small one, could chip away at the trust between Lina and me. And the thought of losing that trust—of losing her—was the most terrifying thing I could imagine.
The fear of falling from her favor stiffened my stride as I made my way to Teo’s room. When I arrived, I knocked, but in the same motion, I twisted the knob and pushed the door open; I wasn’t about to give him a chance to turn me away. “Teo, can I come—” The words died in my throat as I took in the sight before me. “—in...”
“You can, as you clearly already have,” a half-naked Teo replied. His golden hair was still damp from a recent bath, and droplets of water clung to his skin. His hastily thrown-on shirt hung open, revealing a glimpse of his slender (but toned) chest. He sighed, running a hand through his wet hair, shaking his head slightly. “Perhaps next time, you’ll consider that some doors are closed for a reason.”
“It couldn’t wait,” I blurted out. “I had to see you.”
“Excuse me?” He lifted a brow, a flicker of concern crossing his features. “What happened?” His eyes searched mine, silently questioning. You’ve been in Celestia for all of half an hour—what could you have possibly mucked up already? they asked in an accusing manner. He removed his fogged-up glasses, wiping them clean, and gestured for me to sit. I obeyed, taking the seat across from him as he slid his glasses back on. Crossing his arms, he asked again, “So? What happened?”
I hesitated, the words sticking in my throat, until they tumbled out all at once. “I... I nearly violated Lina.”
My words dropped like a leaden weight into the room.
Teo gawked at me in disbelief. “Come again?”
I tried my best to explain myself, but the words came out jumbled and confused. “It was nothing—just a gesture, really. She moved to brush the hair from her face, but it...it undid me. I nearly lost control. Lina, she’s...she’s beautiful, and I was unprepared for the power of her allure in that moment. I’m pathetic, I know.”
Teo said nothing.
“I must learn restraint,” I continued, my voice trembling. “What if I were to act on such impulses? That would be...that would be...”
“Absolutely fine, would it not?” Teo’s sharp voice cut through my self-recriminations. “How long do you intend on denying yourself what pleasures should have been shared on your wedding night?” There was a note of irritation in his tone, as if my fears were not just trivial, but insulting when compared to the magnitude of the situation he must have built up in his mind.
A flicker of frustration sparked within me. My concerns were not so easily dismissed! I was seriously, genuinely worried! As I brooded over his response, a sudden, startling thought hit me. “H-H-How do you know about what happened on our wedding night? I never told you about that...I never told anyone!” My voice rose in alarm, the realization twisting in my gut. “W-W-Were you watching us?!”