In the end, unable to hide anything from Alan, Lithisia confessed everything to him.
“I’m so, so sorry… I’m the worst, just a shovel failure of a human…”
Lithisia had seen Alan digging Catria’s ears, overheard their conversation, and grown terribly jealous. But she didn’t want to cause trouble for Alan by whining, so she had decided to become a Princess Shovel. If she could only turn her heart into a shovel, she wouldn’t be jealous of Catria anymore, and her awful jealousy wouldn’t cause problems for Alan.
“B-but I couldn’t do it.”
Lithisia had failed. When Alan drew close and called out to her, she had wanted him to shovel her like nothing else. In the end, Lithisia was no shovel; she was just a young lass.
“I see…” Having listened to the princess’s tale, Alan thought quietly to himself.
Truth be told, there was a lot about her story that he didn’t understand. Why did she want to be shoveled like no tomorrow? Why was she jealous of Catria? But at the end of the day, Alan had vowed to do everything within his power for Lithisia, which meant there was but one thing for him to do now.
Alan held Lithisia in his arms and sat her down on the floor of the storage room, her head on his thighs.
“Eeee!”
The miner felt Lithisia’s body warmth through her beautiful golden hair, which fell across his knees. Alan inspected the inside of her ear but found nothing at all; it was extremely clean in there. At this rate, he wouldn’t be able to pick her ears.
“U-um, Sir Miner?!” Confusion rang in Lithisia’s voice. She couldn’t wrap her head around what was happening to her. Why was he holding her in his lap? He had already said he would never marry her. She’d been dumped before anything even started. It was as if he had no need for a princess who couldn’t become a shovel. Sure, he’d never said that directly, but this was how his words had translated in Lithisia’s mind.
“Hrm, there’s no point in cleaning your ears…”
“Ah, er, um, right…” On hearing Alan’s words, Lithisia’s confusion finally dissipated. Instead, a wave of sadness flowed over her. It’s fine. I knew this would happen. I knew my body wasn’t worth shoveling—
“All right. Instead, let’s do your mouth.”
“Wha?”
Quicker than the eye could see, Alan modified his Fluoride Care Shovel into toothbrush form. He grasped Lithisia tightly with his left hand to make sure she wouldn’t flee. Her bountiful breasts pressed up against his arm, causing Lithisia to squeal. But Alan wouldn’t loosen his grip.
Alan had vowed to do everything he could for this young woman. He held Lithisia in his arms like a baby and worked open her mouth.
Brush, brush.
“Eeeeeek!”
Brush, brush.
“No talking. Don’t worry, just stay still.”
Brush, brush.
Alan dug into Lithisia’s mouth. More specifically, he got at her teeth. He used his masterful shovel technique to brush all of the teeth in her mouth, one after the other, in true deep-cleaning fashion. He got every last bit of grime off of Lithisia’s already pristine whites.
Alan then placed his Mirror Shovel directly in front of them. Reflected in the mirror, Lithisia was held like a small baby as Alan scoured her mouth.
“Ah, eee, nnnngh.”
Alan was shoveling her mouth…
Lithisia made a point to brush her teeth every morning and night, yet her mouth now overflowed with euphoria. Her teeth weren’t connected to any pleasure nerves, yet each time the Toothbrush Shovel scraped over one of them, her maidenly nerves electrified. Her body twitched in pleasure, causing Alan to hold her even more tightly.
What’s going on? It feels so good. I’m being happily shoveled…
There was no way for Lithisia to resist.
Brush, brush.
Brush, brush.
Swoosh, swoosh.
“Nnnnngh!”
Alan got between her teeth with a Thread Shovel. Everything in Lithisia’s mouth, even her mucous membranes, belonged to him now. That pleasure, that joy, tore her chest apart—the very same chest now pressed against Alan.
It was too much. Lithisia was on the verge of tears. If Alan kept being this kind to her, soon she’d be unable to live without Alan’s shovel.
“Eeeeeaaaaaaaah…”
Finally, after deftly brushing the teeth in the back of her mouth, Alan’s hand came to a stop. The whole thing only lasted three minutes, but they were the most joyous minutes of Lithisia’s life.
The princess struggled to catch her breath. It was over. It was finally over. She wanted Alan to keep going, but… But…
“All right. Next are your upper teeth.”
“HUH?!”
Another three minutes later, Lithisia, now drenched in sweat, fell limp. Her arms and thighs glistened like those of a girl who’d just finished practicing her favorite sport, and her cheeks shone brightly red. The only things on her mind were Alan and his shovel.
Sir Miner. Love. Shovel. Love. Stay with me forever. Shovel me forever. Those words ran on repeat. However— No, I can’t! I mustn’t!
Lithisia used the last of her strength to resist the desire threatening to drown her. She couldn’t tell Alan these things; she would cause him a great many problems if she did. It wasn’t like he loved her or anything, and it wasn’t as if he planned to marry her. If she told him she loved him, he would only be troubled by it.
Lithisia clenched her fists in resistance.
Then Alan gently ran the palm of his hand across her head, over and over.
“Ah…”
Once again, hope rose deep within Lithisia. Maybe she had simply misheard him? Maybe he hadn’t said anything about not marrying her?
The truth of the matter was that she felt an immense amount of love in the hand running across her head, as well as in the arm holding her so very tightly. Both were so tender, and they felt so good… Alan had even shoveled her mouth.
“Ah… Mmm…”
Lithisia wanted to ask him, but she couldn’t. She was too scared. She feared she would die on the spot if Alan told her he didn’t “shovel” her.
But when Lithisia looked up at Alan’s face, she found him wearing a smile that seemed to say he’d accept anything and everything. In that case, Lithisia mustered up more courage than she ever had in her entire human—or perhaps shovel—life.
“Um, Sir Miner…”
“Yeah?”
She was going to ask him. She was going to do it. This was her chance! “Um, would you… Um, would you sh…”
Would you shovel me forever?
Just as she was about to lay it all on the line—
BOOOM.
“Long time no see, Princess Lithisia!”
A video feed of Prime Minister Zeleburg appeared before the pair in a display formed by communication magic.
“…”
A Shovel Aura of deep sadness emanated from Lithisia.
“How goes your hunt for the orbs?” Zeleburg asked. “I come to you today to provide you all with a piece of information that might help: the location of the Purple Orb! Where do you think it is? Hee hee hee… Why, it lies in Hell itsel—wait, why are you holding Princess Lithisia in your arms?!”
“Zeleburg, perfect timing,” said Alan. “We’re heading to Rostir now.”
“What? Who the hell are you? More importantly, get away from my Princess Lithisia—” Zeleburg broke off. His gaze had turned to Lithisia and his expression changed to one of astonishment. “What? Um, er… A toothbrush?”
Zeleburg was bewildered. Apparently even demons could get confused.
“Zele…burg…!”
The air surrounding Lithisia froze as she spoke. Her voice throbbed with tears. She’d been interrupted. She wanted to cry. She had squeezed out every last bit of courage she had, and this was what she got in return? She would never let Zeleburg get away with this. Her deep sadness morphed into pure rage, and with a toothbrush still in her mouth, Lithisia spoke.
“ZELEBURF, I’MF NEBA GUIN TUH FOHGIFF YOO FORF BIS!!!”
But thanks to the toothbrush in her mouth, she was a bit hard to understand.
“…”
For a time, Zeleburg simply stared at Lithisia, his eyes widened. Then he put his hand on his chin.
“Adorable… How very adorable, Your Highness,” he said, his voice racked with emotion.
Tragically, Alan found himself agreeing with the heinous villain.
Still coddled in Alan’s arms, Lithisia glared at Zeleburg, and in the loudest voice yet of the day, she screamed. “ZELEBURG, I’MF NEBA GUIN TUH FORHIFF YOO!!!”
Thus went the opening declaration of the First Rostir Elimination War: The Shovel Rebellion, as it would be recorded in the history books.