Part 43:
The Miner Goes to Hell
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And so the trio of Alan, Lithisia, and Catria headed into the depths of Hell to retrieve the Purple Orb.
First they dropped by the World Tree Castle, where they briefly greeted a happy (and bouncy) Fio, only to tell her that they were going to “drop in on Hell for a sec.” They used shovel transmission (skipping while merrily singing about shovels; it’s quite fun) to descend the 6,666,666 steps to Hell.
At last, Catria and the others arrived on the creepy, purple-hued plane of Hell.
“So, this is Hell,” said Alan.
“Can you not say it like you’re some kind of easy-breezy tour guide?!” After screaming, Catria took several steadying breaths.
I’m really here.
Despite being deep below the surface world, there was actually a sky; it was ashen, but it was there. Storm clouds and giant balls of fire roiled above. One ball smashed into the surface overhead, exploding.
I’m actually, really here.
Catria was dizzy. The air was so cold she might freeze, but her skin was so hot she might burn up. Her senses were going crazy. In no way was this a place intended for humans.
“Sir Miner, is this the demons’ home base, shovel?” Lithisia, on the other hand, looked perfectly fine. She really had given up her humanity.
“It’s one specific demon’s home base, to be more accurate. This is an area called ‘Baadr,’” Alan explained.
Hell was actually made up of several distinct areas, or dimensions. Baadr was Asmodeus’s territory. Notably, this region was thought to be governed with relative order compared to some of the others.
“The person we’re looking for should be in the Prison City Dis, which is located at the center of Baadr.”
“Should we expect combat?”
Alan had once said he fought a demon lord. Catria could believe him now; there was no way it wasn’t true.
“No. We’re going to negotiate. My contact can be a bit of a hardass, but they’re no idiot.”
“You mean there are demons you can actually negotiate with?”
“Well, not with words. But shovels work.”
“Amazeshovguage! (Sir Miner’s shovel language is as amazing as ever!)” Lithisia was still in the happiest of shovel states. She had received a brand new shovel as a replacement for her old one.
I get what he’s saying, but… Catria frowned.
Alan said his contact was Asmodeus, who as far as Catria knew was the demon lord said to have led the army of darkness during the eternal war between the gods, Ragnarök. Asmodeus’s magic power had ripped the surface world to pieces. This wasn’t the sort of entity you picked a fight with for the fun of it.
Get your head in the game, Catria… She took more steadying breaths. It’s going to be okay. Remember all of the adventures you’ve been on. The pyramid in the desert, the Deep Sea Shrine, the city in the sky. You survived all of them.
Catria then grabbed the Holy Knight Blade on her back with her shaking hand and clenched it tightly. This action alone provided her with some semblance of courage, mysteriously enough. As long as I have this sword, I’ll be fine. Even in Hell.
As Catria put an invincible smile on her face, Lithisia giggled.
“Catria! I see you’ve finally awoken to the fact that you’re the captain of the Holy Shovel Knights!”
“Pardon…?”
What the heck is this shovel talking about?
Lithisia didn’t even register as a princess to Catria anymore.
“It’s just you look so happy with that in your hands.”
Catria turned to look at what she was holding. It wasn’t a sword. It was a red shovel Lithisia had sneakily placed there.
“GAAAAH!” Catria panicked and slapped the tool down on the ground.
“Ah! Catria, you mustn’t waste a good shovel like that!”
“Haaah, haaah!” Sweat poured down Catria’s face as she gripped her Holy Knight Blade for sure this time. No. No, I’m a Holy Knight. I’m not a Holy Shovel Knight. I made a little mistake, that’s all.
Catria took deep breaths again until she found serenity.
All right, I’m okay. I have my sword.
“Your Highness, I am a Holy Knight. I’m happiest when I’m wielding a sword, not a shovel.”
“But that Holy Knight Shovel Blade is 50 percent shovel?”
“It’s 100 percent sword.”
“Enough, you two. We’re attracting attention,” said Alan.
The pair turned around only to hear a bellowing roar. Incomparably huge skeleton dragons were descending upon them. They were unbelievably large, bigger than even the Red Dragon they had faced in the desert. Worse, there was a whole dang bunch of them. At least ten, likely more. They all brimmed with murderous intent.
“Alan! Didn’t you say this place was relatively stable?!”
“Relatively. These guys are just very sensitive to the sound of shovels. If you let your guard down, they attack right away.”
Catria’s experience as a knight warned her of the degree of imminent danger. Just one skeleton dragon was bad enough. Extremely bad. Its fierce crossfire breath was an inevitability. She had to run.
No! She had to cut down her enemy. She would find a way through this oncoming swarm of death. Catria made her decision in a matter of milliseconds and moved to fire her Justice Stream.
“DIG!”
KA-CHOOOOOOOOM!
But before she could, Alan’s Shotgun Wave Motion Shovel Blast pierced Hell’s sky. The light blue beam of energy even cut through Hell’s lightning, engulfing all of the skeleton dragons. They let out cries of terror as they vanished.
The battle was over in an instant.
“…”
Catria was still holding out her Holy Knight Blade.
Alan somehow felt bad for her. “My apologies, Catria. I had planned to leave at least one for you to take care of, but it’d be a problem if they called for reinforcements.”
“Amazshovrabbits! (Amazing! Sir Miner even goes all-out against mere rabbits!)”
“Those weren’t rabbits.”
“Wow, the shovel is pro animal rights, too!”
Catria still wouldn’t move.
“Don’t worry,” Alan went on. “This is Hell. You’ll have plenty of chances to train and…hey?”
Catria still wouldn’t move. She stared at Alan’s shovel. Alan found this strange and took a step closer to her.
WHOOOSH!
Catria swiftly backed up, almost as if she were running away from him.
“What’s wrong, Catria? Did you shovel wet yourself?”
“N-no! That’s not it, Your Highness!” Catria shook her head as she averted her gaze from Alan’s shovel. She clutched her Holy Knight Blade and did everything in her power to erase the thought that had surfaced in her mind for a fraction of a second. No, no! Absolutely not!
“Eh? Well, as long as you’re good. Let’s go. Dis is close.”
I will never think “his shovel is so dependable”! Never!