Chapter 55

It was the night of the failed public execution. As she huddled around a campfire with Salvador, Shoshanna told him she didn’t want to do wrong anymore—that if he would allow it, she wanted to distance herself from Daeg Gallus and live alone. “That so?” her brother muttered like it didn’t matter. Then he lit the end of a stick on fire—and pressed it onto his left arm. She could hear it sizzling into his skin and smell burning cloth and flesh. She screamed. “W-w-what are you doing, Salvador…?!” “What? Ouch! Hey, be a little gentler… That hurts!” She was scrambling to treat his wound, and the last step was to apply an ointment that stung so horribly that death was almost preferable. That was what drew the rare yelp from his mouth. But at least it was unlikely to get infected. The sun tattoo on his upper arm was now obliterated by a horrible burn. It had been the symbol of his membership in the organization. “Why did you do that…?” “Why? You said you were done with this line of work, didn’t you?” Shoshanna nodded, though she was confused by his casual tone and incoherent explanation. “Then getting out is my only choice. You’re as stubborn as an ass once you’ve made up your mind.” “…What does me being stubborn have to do with you leaving the organization?” “Huh? You don’t seriously think you can make it out there alone, do you? You’re still a kid! What a joke. Someone will pluck you off the street and sell you before you can blink—if you’re lucky.” Shoshanna stared at him openmouthed. Salvador frowned suspiciously. “What?” “…I thought you’d abandon me.” She knew it was an ungrateful, selfish thing to say. But she had been ready for him to respond by cutting off ties with her out of disillusionment and disgust. “I’d love to. But you know I can’t. You’re too much of a bother.” “A b-bother?” “Yeah, that’s what I said. You are a bother. Have been ever since you were a baby. I can’t tell you how many times I wanted to strangle you for crying so damn loudly, but every time you saw me, you smiled. I couldn’t abandon you then, and I sure as hell can’t now. It’s easier to just give in.” She’d never been able to understand his logic when he talked like this, speaking of himself as if it had nothing to do with him. “…But won’t they kill you for leaving the organization?” “Kill me?” He snorted like she’d made a really funny joke. “Okay, I’ll say I died. Lucky for us, that sharp-eyed bastard Krishna is gone now.” He turned to Shoshanna. “So what do you want to do next?” “…I want to help people. I want to be there for them. That’s the kind of life I want.” “Oh man, you sure are a pain,” he answered instantly, sounding exhausted. But Shoshanna wasn’t discouraged. “Listen, Salvador, I’m done with being the one who’s protected all the time.” There was a silence. Salvador sighed very reluctantly. “Man, oh man, are you ever a pain,” he said, standing up like he was done with her. Shoshanna’s heart sank. Her shoulders slumped. Then she felt someone mussing her hair. “Well, just do what you wanna do.” The reddish-gold eyes looking down at her were surprisingly soft. “I’m never any match for you anyway,” he added, like she really was the most bothersome person he had ever met. As they passed through the market in a town on Adelbide’s border, Salvador said, as if he’d just remembered, “Hey, you wanted a parakeet, didn’t you? The pets are gone now, so how ’bout I buy you one?” The reason she’d wanted a parakeet was because she’d felt like a little caged bird herself. Shoshanna stopped walking and slowly shook her head. “I don’t want one anymore.” She looked up at the sky, one hand shading her eyes. Overhead, birds were flying freely through a big, wide, clear blue world.