“That little girl called you Cess just now, didn’t she? Does that mean your name is Cecilia?” the man asked. “Y-yes.” “And your eyes—I guess they’re close enough to rose-colored.” “Yes…?” Who did he think he was, acting so familiar with Cess? Cici took a step toward the man. “Hey, you—” But before Cici could say anything more, the man had turned to Mother Natalie. “Sister, I’d like to talk with this girl,” he said, and without waiting for an answer, pulled Cess into a guest room. It happened too fast for Cici to stop him. Cici didn’t know what the man said to Cess in that room. But by the time he was done, Cess had made up her mind to leave the orphanage. “…Cici, wake up.” It was the night before Cess was to leave. Cici woke in the pallet crowded with other children to a rough shaking sensation. “Mm… Cess?” Cici whispered sleepily. Cess brought a finger to her lips. “Shh. Can you come outside?” They slipped out to an embankment behind the orphanage and lay down side by side. A breeze from the river rustled the grass, carrying its green smell to their noses. Somewhere, an insect was calling, its cry like a bell. Although it was night, they could still see shadows, and the moon shone brilliantly overhead. Cess started talking in fits and starts. She said the lord of the domain’s daughter had always been a weak child and was not expected to live much longer. “He said that I was going to become Miss Cecilia.” It seemed that the Viscount Luze had long frequented a certain prostitute. Unbeknownst to him, she had become pregnant and had a baby. What happened after that wasn’t clear, but in the end, the child was handed over to the orphanage. She had already been given a name, however, and at the prostitute’s request, the owner of the brothel, who could write, had that name embroidered on a blanket for her. Was it mere coincidence that the baby was named Cecilia, just like the viscount’s legitimate daughter? The prostitute had already passed away, and it would likely remain a mystery forever. “But, Cess, what if he’s wrong and it isn’t you?” It would be one thing if the child had some distinguishing feature. But there must have been dozens of twelve-year-old orphan girls in this town named Cecilia. “If those are the only things he can use to identify her—” Cess interrupted with unusual force. “I don’t think it matters if I’m really the viscount’s daughter or not. It’s more about being right for the job. And he happened to choose me.” “But you don’t have to go along with it, right?” “It’s more than I ever could have hoped for,” she said with a smile, looking older than her years. Cess was still a child, but when she smiled, she was breathtakingly pretty. That probably had something to do with why she was chosen. Cici understood what she was saying, but that didn’t make it okay. Somehow, it felt like a betrayal. “…You think you’re up to playing a nobleman’s daughter?” Cici snapped bitterly. “You said it’s more than you could’ve hoped for… I didn’t realize you wanted to be a princess that badly.” “No, it’s much better than that.” “What do you mean?” “He said he’d support the orphanage.” Cici’s face went blank. “If I do a good job standing in for the viscount’s daughter, he said he’d make sure the children here receive an education. I mean, if everyone was as clever as you, I’m sure they could make it out in the world. But you know some of them need a little help. I think if they could read at least, more of them could find their way.” “…But what will make you happy? That’s what matters most.” “All of you being happy, of course,” she said decisively, without a hint of regret. Cici let out a loud sigh, then brushed away some dirt and stood up. “I guess there’s nothing I can do to stop you. But if anything bad happens, tell me. I might not look it, but I’m strong and I can think on my feet.” “But you’re awfully small.” “Shut up.” Cici scowled at the older girl and her unnecessary jokes. Cess stuck out her tongue in reply, unrepentant. “Listen, Cess. I—” Cici began, then thought better of it, glanced up with a smile, and started over. “All of us, we’ll only be happy if you are, okay?” Cess blinked in surprise, then her face broke out in a bashful smile. We were all going to find happiness together. That’s the promise we made. What’s going on? Cici walked through the flames with a pounding heart. “Mother Natalie!” She—the woman who had raised them all—didn’t answer, nor did anyone else. Cici could hear only the crackle and roar of flames. Why, why is this happening? Earlier that day, Cici had gone to the neighboring town on an errand. By the time it was finished, the sun had set. Mother Natalie hadn’t provided enough money to stay overnight like she usually did, so Cici had decided to head back that same night. Back at the orphanage, the moon was already beginning its descent, and fire was licking up the walls of the building. Cici dove in without a moment’s hesitation. Red flames were spreading everywhere. Even keeping to areas where the fire was weakest brought blazing gusts of painful wind, scorching Cici’s throat. “Lia! Pete! Chris! Jesse…!” Please, somebody, answer me! I’m begging you! “Damn it…!” As Cici headed toward the dining hall, a ball of flames fell from the ceiling. The fire was spreading fast in this area, and the heat was overwhelming. Still, Cici walked on. “Cici…!” a voice suddenly screamed. Familiar arms reached out. “Cess…?” “Oh, I’m so glad…! You’re alive…!” a girl’s voice cried tearfully. Cess should have been at the viscount’s residence, and yet here she was. She looked wretched, not at all like a nobleman’s daughter. Her cheeks were sooty, her arms were burnt, and her fancy dress was all torn up. She was covered with what looked like blood. Cici stepped back from her embrace. “You’re hurt!” Cess stiffened, then shook her head listlessly. Although she was acting strangely, Cici didn’t press her, relieved that at least the blood was not hers. “What in the world is happening…?” “It’s my fault. I was such a fool.” Cess clenched her teeth and moaned. “The viscount never intended to leave anyone alive who knew I was taking his daughter’s place. If only I had realized sooner…!” “It’s not your fault,” Cici said, patting her back soothingly. Her shoulders trembled. Suddenly, voices erupted from the stairwell leading to the second floor. “I think I saw a shadow move! Did we miss someone?!” Footsteps pounded toward the voice from several directions. Knife blades glinted. What’s happening? There were men with weapons, and Cess’s dress was covered with blood. Cess had said she wasn’t hurt. Then whose blood was this? Why had no one answered Cici’s calls? “…Cess?” What did she say when she saw me? I’m so glad…! You’re alive…! The way she’d said it, it was almost like everyone other than Cici was— “What happened to the others?” Cess gulped. Her dusky red-brown eyes were peeled wide in shock, and her lips trembled. She bit her lip and shook her head, on the verge of tears. “I didn’t make it in time.” “Is anyone else…” “No. They’ve killed them all. Mother Natalie, Lia, everyone. Yours was the only body I couldn’t find.” Sparks of anger blotted out Cici’s vision. What had they done? Digging nails into clenched palms brought some clarity of mind. This was no time to thrash out in anger. “We have to get out of here before they come,” Cici said in a low voice. Grabbing Cess’s slender wrist, Cici ran to the door leading out to the courtyard. But for some reason, Cess would go no farther. Thinking she must be hurt, Cici glanced back at her, only to be shoved forward alone into the courtyard, where she stumbled to the ground. “Cess?!” “I’m too slow.” Cici frowned. Cess’s words didn’t make sense. “You’re so fast, Cici. Run and get help.” But that was impossible. “Go, hurry! If they see you, they’ll follow you to the ends of the earth. Go.” Her voice sounded strained. She must have been trying to play decoy. At the sudden realization, Cici leaped up. She must have been crazy to think her dearest friend would go on without her. They would go together, or not at all. Cici reached out to her, but that same instant, flames engulfed the pillar between them, sending it toppling over with a groan. She was out of reach. “Go!” That frantic word was the last thing Cici heard her say. Footsteps pounded down the stairs. Go. Cici took off running like a shot, crying hot tears. Hurry. Hurry. If I don’t hurry… But— By the time the squadron of military police arrived with Cici at their side, the sea of fire had spread. Red flames scorched the night sky. Each time the fire popped, a shower of tiny stars exploded. Cici stood in front of the blazing orphanage and wailed to the heavens. I must have cried until I fainted. Sunlight stabbed painfully at Cici’s eyelids. That night, we lay side by side in the grass on this same embankment, Cess and I. Had everything been a dream? Lying in a haze of blurred memories, Cici heard voices nearby. “I never imagined the pawn I searched high and low for would fall so easily.” The sarcastic laughter belonged to the young man who had visited the orphanage two weeks earlier. “Orders were, don’t leave anyone alive. Who could’ve known someone who should’ve been at the mansion would be at the orphanage?” The voice that answered sounded young. It hadn’t even broken yet. But despite its careless tone, the words were biting. “They probably didn’t even know what she looked like.” “I think you knew what Cecilia looked like, Salvador.” “I wasn’t even there yesterday,” the boy said in a weirdly cheerful voice. “That idiot viscount decided everything, and his protégés carried it out.” The man sighed like he was suppressing a headache. “What is that fool thinking? I arranged everything so the pawn would cooperate of her own free will, and look what he’s done.” “He probably thought he could get his way through violence. That sort of noble doesn’t give a damn about the lives of commoners.” “Anything to protect his own interests, I suppose?” It seemed clear to Cici they were talking about the lord of the domain. So it was Viscount Luze. The truth seared itself into Cici’s mind. That man murdered Cess. Mother Natalie. Lia. My little brothers and sisters. An inferno of black flames swirled in Cici’s stomach. Suddenly, leaves crunched underfoot, and a shadow fell over Cici’s head. “Well, well, a survivor. What’s your name?” Cici’s heart felt strangely calm. I never intended to hide. If they’re going to kill me, they may as well do it quickly. That way at least I’ll be with everyone else. Still lying sprawled on the ground, Cici hoarsely whispered an answer. “Cici.” The man’s eyes narrowed as he inspected his find. “—Oh, you’re a girl.” He didn’t sound surprised, but Cici was caught off guard. Although she had never claimed to be a boy, everyone assumed she was from her way of speaking and style of dress. Hardly anyone outside the orphanage realized she was a girl. “So you must be another Cecilia.” She felt her heart shredded once again at the sound of the old, familiar name. Cess. Cici. Lia. All were nicknames for Cecilia. The man grabbed her chin roughly and turned her face toward him. “And what nice rose-colored eyes you have. The special shade unique to the Luze family. It seems I missed it, thinking you were a boy. That child did seem to be hiding something. I guess it was you.” Cici felt as if she’d just been hit in the head with a hammer. Was the man saying she had the Luze family eyes? She remembered what he’d said to Cess the first time he came to the orphanage. And your eyes—I guess they’re close enough to rose-colored. They must have explained it to her before they took her to the mansion. They were looking for a twelve-year-old girl named Cecilia with unusual rose-colored eyes. There was no way someone as smart as Cess wouldn’t have realized the person they were searching for was Cici. Cess! Cici moaned inwardly. She had been trying to protect Cici from the start. She could stand it no longer. She crumpled to the ground, her knees pressed to her chest. She couldn’t breathe. Sadness crashed over her. Something black, like anger but far more hideous, was eating through her stomach. The man looked at her with interest as Cici exhaled a shaking breath. “Do you hate the viscount? Shall I let you take your revenge?” “Revenge?” “If you do as I tell you, you’ll have the chance to torment him as much as you please. We’ll have to keep him alive for a little while, but once his job is complete, he’ll be your plaything.” He must mean she was to take over Cess’s job. “…You must be joking,” she spat out, turning away. She didn’t know how these two were related to the viscount, but if they—if this man—hadn’t taken Cess away— “Oh? Then what do you intend to do?” the man asked with a snort. “Ouch!” He mercilessly grabbed her bangs and yanked her face up again, peering down at her with amusement. His irises were bluish-silver, and she noticed he had two black dots next to his pupil. “You aren’t planning to get revenge on your own, are you? A powerless child who can hardly even feed herself could never take on the lord of the domain.” Cici stared at him wide-eyed. He was right. She had no one to turn to and no home. She had nothing. The orphanage and the people she cared about more than anything in the world had been burned up, leaving only a pile of ashes. “True, killing the viscount won’t bring your family back,” the man continued, suppressing a smile. “But if you die like a dog, what good does that do? You’ll turn to ash just like them, poor thing. None of you will rest in peace.” Their faces—those of Cess and Mother Natalie and all the others—flickered through her mind. “Wouldn’t it be better to teach him a lesson?” His words were like kindling to the dark flames in her heart. In an instant, they had consumed her entire body. “You should follow your heart. You hate him, don’t you? If you can’t forgive him, why not destroy him—him and this whole kingdom?” the man whispered devilishly. Cici heard a faint voice. As long as I’m alive, I won’t let you behave that way. I want you to be able to hold your head high! Flames engulfed the image of that brilliant smile, and the voice faded slowly until Cici could no longer hear it. “Have you made up your mind?” Instead of answering, she sneered and grabbed his outstretched hand. The night before, when she had stretched out her hand, it hadn’t reached Cess. Cici stood up slowly, as if to shake off the pain that was tearing her apart. Whose voice do you want to hear? Cecilia stood at the window of her bedroom, looking down at the castle district as the sun set. She wondered why she hadn’t been able to answer the question. She should have told Constance Grail then and there. She knew the answer well enough. No one’s voice. She didn’t want to hear the voice of anyone who had left her behind, least of all her voice. After all, she knew how furious they would be with her.
Chapter 49
14 min read