“Glasses is missing. And he took my cat with him.”
When we returned from the Holy City, I was greeted by my boss’s office half in ruins. He’d clearly been attacked by someone, and the words “rest is up to you” had been hastily scrawled out on top of the desk.
For the time being, I reached out to the one other Church leader who might be willing to listen to me. I contacted the Horny Slut—or rather, the Holy Saint—and she agreed that until we found Glasses’s body, he’d be treated as “missing” rather than dead.
Regardless, we were still in the wake of the recent cardinal assassinations; none of the Church higher-ups would want to publicly announce that yet another one of the Seven High Cardinals had been killed. And so, the disappearance of High Cardinal Salamanrius was swept under the rug, and the Slut—I mean, the Blind-Eyed Saint, Nevissa Vernalia—became my boss for the interim.
That was what they told me, anyway. I wasn’t especially concerned about it, though. There was no way Glasses would drop dead that easily, so I was just worried about my cat, Atalanta.
In the meantime, I decided to focus on cleaning up the trashed office... Then, around a week later, the saint showed up in person at Glasses’s cathedral.
“Arshelm fell last night. The Demon Lord’s former army attacked the city.”
I froze up, holding a sliced-up book in my hand. “Excuse me?”
That sure woke me up.
“There are reports of a separate invasion force in the northeast as well... In any case, we should go somewhere we can sit down and discuss this. The situation is worsening by the hour, but a hasty response won’t improve matters.”
I was supposed to be the one hosting her, but I was rushed into a meeting room next door to the ruined office. The saint told her attendant, Sister Loria, to go and prepare her guest quarters. That left three of us in the room: the saint, her devil-touched bodyguard, and me.
What was the dog-eared guard’s name, again...?
“It’s Schnoë.”
“Right, thank you.” I gave a perfunctory bow in response.
If she’d sent Loria out of the room, I had to assume we were about to discuss some shady business. I’d made the right call sending Cion on an errand as well.
“So, what’s going on?” I asked as the saint sat down. “Is this connected to Glasses going missing?”
The saint had Schnoë unroll a map of the continent on the table. She must’ve already brought him up to speed on the situation.
“We only just received word, but we believe the invasion began at the same time as the attack on High Cardinal Salamanrius.”
“Who’s behind it?”
“That’s still unclear. What we do know is that another large-scale invasion force has already arrived on the other side of the central mountains, in the Damoxas Plains to the northeast. According to our scouts, there are several hundred demons at Arshelm, and even more at Damoxas.”
She held out a sheaf of documents—reports from scouts, presumably. My brow furrowed as I stared at them. This wasn’t a spur-of-the-moment invasion; the demons had some sort of objective here. I had to imagine Glasses’s disappearance was related somehow.
“Royal knights have already been deployed to Damoxas, and I’ve received word that holy knights are on their way from Eldias as well. However, reinforcements for the Arshelm front have been delayed.”
The eastern front was wide-open plains, but the western front was all mountains and forests—there were too many obstacles. Cavalry would be more effective in the east. That was why there were large numbers of mercenaries stationed in Arshelm, carrying out guerrilla attacks against the demons...
“Have the mercenaries been wiped out?” I asked the question that had risen to the top of my mind.
“Not quite yet,” the saint said calmly. “The attack primarily targeted the city’s cathedral. That allowed the mercenaries to construct several defensive lines; they’ve been repeatedly falling back and buying time for the citizens to evacuate.”
They were holding out against enemies way above their pay grade, trusting that help would come.
“It’s only a matter of time until they’re annihilated completely,” she continued.
Sitting there staring at a map, I had no way of knowing the full extent of the slaughter. But from the markings and annotations here and there, it was clear that many lives had been lost.
“I’m told that Inquisitor Karm is accompanying the royal knights. I’ll be sending out some of my own people to join them via a separate route. So I’d like you to go to the mercenaries’ aid, Alicia.”
My interim boss remained cool and composed as she spoke.
This woman was a Horny Slut, a Holy Saint, a figure of reverence within the Church, and the savior of the weak. But, all of that was just her public-facing position. Underneath it all, not only was she a Horny Slut—she was also a demon.
“They’re your people, aren’t they?” I asked slowly. “Can’t you get them to stop somehow?”
If the Demon Lord had wanted peace with humanity, then maybe...
“I don’t imagine so. I am an exile from their lands, and in any case, the present crisis is humanity’s own doing. If we ask them to simply lay down their arms without any reprisal against the side that struck first, can they be expected to listen?”
She was right—all of this had started with the Hero. Cion had killed the Demon Lord, and the Church had gotten nervous about her growing fame and tried to assassinate her. Veiss, her master, had tried to put a stop to that plan by going after the Seven High Cardinals, leaving half of their seats empty. And unfortunately, all of the cardinals the champion had killed had been from the extremist faction. The people who’d taken a strong anti-demon stance were gone, and to make matters worse, a certain self-proclaimed “Deathwatcher” had gone around wreaking havoc within the Church. Thanks to her, our security had ended up in tatters; that had given the demons an opening to invade.
I’d wanted those damn cardinals to disappear, but when they actually had, it had just caused more trouble. The fact of the matter was, demons had infiltrated the Church. Maybe we’d actually needed a few of those torture-obsessed perverts for rooting out spies.
I still absolutely hated their guts, though.
“In any case—” the saint said, trying to bring the conversation back on track.
“So, what exactly do you plan on asking Cion to do?” I cut in ahead of her. She hadn’t come out here just to make small talk. “You’re not going to tell her to go take out the invading commander or something, are you, Your Sagacity?”
Schnoë tensed up just a little at the murder in my voice, but obviously he wasn’t stupid enough to actually reach for his sword.
Good boy. Stay.
“I do not believe that any future lies in the taking of lives,” the saint said, surprisingly earnest and straightforward. As she stared at me with her blindfolded eyes, she smiled for the first time that day. “Please rest assured—with my reputation and your assistance, there is still room for negotiation.”
This already sounded way too fishy, but I didn’t have the means or the connections to try anything else. I’d just need to use this woman as best as I could. The last couple of months had been full of painful reminders that our world was neither kind enough to be saved by a single bride, nor small enough to be saved by a single Hero.
“All right,” I finally said. “I’ll assist you.”
With a little reluctance, I placed my clenched fist in her outstretched hand.
“But, if you try anything funny, this time I’ll destroy you for real.”
I wasn’t making a threat; I was stating a fact. If the time came, I fully intended to carry out my duties as an inquisitor. But unfortunately...
“Oh? Oh my... That certainly set my loins aflutter...”
My words only backfired against this pervert.
“Excuse me,” I began pointedly.
“Oh, please don’t worry! It’s quite all right! I can keep my cloisters separate from my oysters!”
I didn’t know what she was talking about, and I didn’t particularly want to. I cleared my throat. “I’m trusting you here, okay?”
“Of course!”
Schnoë looked almost comedic as he anxiously glanced back and forth between the two of us.