“Checkmate.”
Even as I spoke those words, I was still figuring out what had just happened. I was clearly standing here of my own will. But in that brief moment—from when Cion had killed me to when I’d carved out one of the saint’s eyes—I’d felt as though I wasn’t myself at all.
It wasn’t that unusual for someone’s body to move independently of their own volition in the heat of battle. We all had reflexes ingrained into our muscle memory; in a life-and-death struggle, our bodies often sprang into motion before our minds could catch up. That was all perfectly normal. Except... My memories were fuzzy. Maybe that was just a side effect of the reckless stunt I’d pulled—converting atmospheric aether back into mana and absorbing it into my body might have interfered with my cognition somehow.
It was all fine, though. My mind was sharp and clear now, and I could intuitively sense exactly how to remove Cion’s brainwashing. Once it was clear that the saint wasn’t going to try anything more, I snapped my fingers, and the remaining threads of mana connected to Cion instantly broke. I pulled out the mana the saint had poured into her, and I devoured it.
That was all it took for the light to gradually start returning to Cion’s eyes. For her, it probably felt like slowly waking up from a strange, hollow dream.
“Cion?” I called her name gently, as though guiding her by the hand—leading her consciousness back to me.
“Nn...”
Hazily at first, her unfocused eyes searched for me. Gradually, the outlines of thoughts began to take shape.
“Ali...cia...?”
“It’s me,” I said softly. “It’s Alicia.”
Floating to the surface came confusion, trepidation...and fear.
“A-Alicia?! Wait— What’s going on?!”
“It’s all right. Everything’s fine. It’s all over.”
“Huh?”
As Cion struggled to make sense of the situation, I raised my good arm and gently stroked her hair. She’d be fine now.
“Saint Nevissa Vernalia,” I said, kneeling beside her slumped figure. “I’ve won.”
“You have,” she replied in a voice utterly sapped of will. She gazed up at me with a frail smile of resignation; she was prepared to face her judgment and accept whatever punishment might await her. “All the weak may do is obey the strong... I shall obey you, Alicia Snowell.”
Her powerless eyes held only despair. No matter how grand her ideals might have been, all that mattered in the end was might. Prayer to the Gods brought no salvation; ideals were only for the powerful. That was the fundamental, incontrovertible truth of this world. That was precisely why the saint had given up on fighting and chosen to fill people’s heads with dreams instead—dreams to provide an escape from this reality where the strong ruled over the weak.
I’d seen myself in her, and I hadn’t liked it. I hated to admit it, but she and I really did have a lot in common, deep down. One of us had tried to bring her ideals to fruition, and the other had given up—that was the single vast, insurmountable difference between the two of us.
“I won’t abandon you,” I said.
She looked utterly perplexed; she must have lost even her power to read minds.
“Who’d want a world where everyone’s saved by one person’s suffering? That’s just sickening.”
She’d sought to take everyone’s sins onto her own shoulders and build a paradise of sweet lies, ruling over it as its lonely queen... I couldn’t stand by and let her walk that path. If I did, then what else would I let myself accept? My thoughts went to the lonely Hero standing awkwardly on the sidelines, glancing over at the two of us without a clue what we were talking about.
“If you’re going to shoulder everything, then I won’t let you carry it alone,” I said to the saint. As she stared dazedly up at me, I held out my hand. “There’s only so much world one person can save, after all.”
Her one good eye widened, wavering faintly as though beholding something unbelievable.
“Or will you have me kill you?” I asked.
“I...”
I knew what her answer would be. If I killed her, I’d end up regretting it; that was as obvious to her as it was to me. Demon or not, she was too kind to let that happen.
“I surrender,” she said. The tone of her voice was simple and free, and she smiled ruefully as she took my hand. “If you don’t trust me, you’re welcome to strike out my other eye as well.”
“Well, if you think it’ll set a better example that way,” I said with a laugh.
The color was gradually beginning to fade from her eyes. Her remaining mana was about the same as any regular human’s. The mana I’d taken in was running low as well; my tail had already vanished at some point, and it wouldn’t be long before my ears disappeared too.
“Alicia...?” Cion hesitantly stepped in as our conversation reached a lull.
“I’m sorry for leaving you out of the loop,” I said.
“No, that’s all right... What happened, though?”
“Well...” I started thinking up excuses. The killer took control of you and sent you on a rampage; Her Sagacity and I had to fight as hard as we could to stop you. I’d feed her something like that, some sort of lie that wouldn’t hurt anyone. Then, I’d shrug it all off with a smile and a “Whew, I’m exhausted...”
But as I turned to see Cion’s face on the verge of tears, my words caught in my throat. I couldn’t say a thing.
“Uh...” I gave an awkward chuckle. “Well, um... You see... What happened was, uh... Ngh—” I tensed up involuntarily as a jolt of pain ran through me.
“A-Are you okay?! What’s wrong?! Are you hurt?!”
Cion frantically reached out a hand to support me, then hesitated. If she touched me, she might make my injuries worse. But if she didn’t touch me, she wouldn’t be able to examine my wounds...
As I watched her panic, I couldn’t help laughing through the tears.
“It’s all right. I’ll be fine. We’ve got two specialist healers right here—if we help heal one another, these injuries won’t be any trouble at all—” Another twinge of pain cut me off.
“But, Alicia—!”
With huge teardrops welling in her eyes, Cion clutched at my shoulders. She was always saying that protecting me was her job as the Hero, but from where I was standing, she felt more like the princess in need of protecting. Those poofy dresses wouldn’t look good on me anyway.
“Listen, Cion...” I could feel the strength draining from my body, but I forced the words out as best as I could. If worse came to worst, I needed to say this, if nothing else. “I’m not as good a person as you think I am. I get angry and I mess up, the same as anyone. I call myself a bride, but I’ve never lived up to that title. I’m not someone you should look up to...”
Cion stared back at me, eyes wide with confusion. She had no idea what I was talking about. But that was fine. This was a confession; it was the monologue of a fool who’d abandoned her faith to follow her heart.
“I... I’m sorry about those devil-touched children. I let my anger get the better of me; I wasn’t thinking clearly. If you hadn’t come to stop me when you did, I... I would’ve lost myself for good...”
I’d long since strayed from a path I could be proud of. If anything, I deserved to be hated for what I’d done. Even if it had all been for the sake of survival, I’d still lived the life of a blood-soaked sinner, sustained by the deaths of others. But if I used my role as an inquisitor and an enforcer as an excuse to hurt people without any hesitation, then I’d lose all right to ever stand by this girl’s side again.
“Alicia...?”
Cion’s wavering eyes were so beautiful. The longer I gazed into them, the more I felt like I’d get sucked in.
“I’m glad I met you, Cion...” Even if it was all set up by the will of the Gods.
Here, at the end, I just needed to tell her this, no matter what.
“Don’t blame anyone—don’t blame yourself—for any of this.”
Even if I died here, I needed to make sure that she wouldn’t feel responsible—that the saint wouldn’t have to erase her memories.
“This is all...on my shoulders...”
“Alicia?!”
I couldn’t see Cion’s face as I let myself lean on her and whispered in her ear.
“Look after the saint for me... Okay?”
The strength left my legs, and I crumpled to the ground. The sensation of blood pooling on the floor and the sound of Cion’s voice calling me began to grow distant and hazy.
Death was unsatisfying, more than anything. It always found its way to us, whether we wanted it or not.
Borne on the currents that carry all of us away sooner or later, I sank down into the world’s depths.
But as I did, I carried a handful of satisfaction with me in the depths of my heart.