“The Hero is dead. In the midst of a pitched battle against the remnants of the Demon Lord’s armies, he sacrificed himself to defend the Holy Saint. He fought to the death against Raven, the former slave who served as the Demon Lord’s right hand, and the two struck each other down. His body was consumed by the flames, and his soul ascended to heaven; now, he rests upon Spirit Mountain. The remaining mercenaries and priests fought off what was left of the demon army, guarding the fortress city with their lives. Working alongside Her Sagacity—and, of course, His Eminence the High Cardinal—they kept the temple defended until the holy knights arrived... That’s the miraculous story you crafted. And I must say, it’s getting excellent reviews. Most of the remaining members of the Seven High Cardinals belong to the faction that wanted to tame the Hero, and the nobility are head over heels for Her Sagacity and her inspiring deeds. People are putting on plays about it in the capital even as we speak! His Holiness is also satisfied with how things worked out. What matters is having a legend worth believing in, after all—who cares about the truth?”
As I knelt in a church in a deserted village, praying before an abandoned altar, my unexpected guest finally finished his long-winded, unasked-for explanation. In any case, it sounded like everything had gone smoothly.
“What about the mercenaries and the demons?” I asked.
“They spent three days and three nights drinking and making friends, then headed back up north all together. From now on, they’ll be fixing their fights to earn their keep.”
“What kind of stupid plan is that supposed to be?”
“Please, call it clever. I think it’s a positive development, don’t you?”
The devil-touched soldiers under Raven’s command had been taken prisoner and placed in the saint’s custody for treatment; they were being handled on a case-by-case basis. Some of them were foreign mercenaries, so that’d be a huge hassle to sort out, but it wasn’t my problem. The nobles holed up in the capital could deal with it—if they didn’t make themselves useful at times like this, then what were they even for?
“Now we just need you to come back, and then everything will be back to normal. You can take care of all the paperwork that’s piled up, and that’ll be that. So, are you in a better mood yet, Sister Alicia?”
I turned around, my beloved kitty cradled in my arms, and gave a smile filled with benevolent mercy or whatever.
“What might you be referring to, Your Eminence? I’m not upset in the slightest, and in any case, would it not behoove you to take care of your work yourself?”
“Ouch, how harsh...”
Well, yeah. Not only did you put my darling Atalanta in danger, you dragged him all the way up to the top of Spirit Mountain. What the hell kind of way is that to treat a cat? In another time, you’d be facing execution.
“In any case, jokes aside—I won’t be coming back. I’ve decided to take some time off for a while.”
My voice came out a little sulky, but in all seriousness, I had no interest in letting myself get jerked around by divine whims any longer.
“Does that mean you plan on disobeying the Gods?”
“Does it? If the Gods were to tell me to return, then perhaps I’d obey them. But they seem to be letting me do as I please for the time being.”
It had been a month since the battle, and I hadn’t had any inquisitors come after me. The fact that this slave driver of a boss had been leaving me alone was more than enough evidence in itself.
“So I’ll be taking my leave. I think I’d like to spend some time visiting family.”
Glasses had clearly been expecting that response; his expression didn’t change at all.
“That’s going to be a pretty rough trip.”
“Not to worry—as you can see, I have a capable mercenary to assist me.”
I turned to gesture to my capable and adorable bodyguard; all this time, she’d been crouched behind the altar, concealing her presence while keeping an eye on us.
“I’m grateful to the Gods for their protection and their guidance,” I said. “But it’s all right now. We can walk the rest of the way on our own—we don’t need anyone to look out for us.” I did my best to muster the most honest words I could manage as I expressed my gratitude to the priest who’d taught me and guided me. “Thank you for everything, Your Eminence.”
I bowed my head. It came out sounding like I was trying to convince myself as much as anyone—I knew that other, less diplomatic words would come flying out if I wasn’t careful. Glasses smiled back at me, clearly understanding all of that perfectly. His smug face really, really pissed me off.
“Now then, we should be going.”
I forcefully ended the conversation. My mercenary stood at my side, her hood pulled tight over her head, and we left the altar behind us.
Well, we tried to leave it behind us, but—
“Sister? Sister Alicia Snowell!”
“What is it?”
I turned back around, and the asshole tossed something to me. I caught it in my hands—it was a pair of glasses.
“Your father actually gave me those to look after. Take care of them, won’t you?”
“I swear I’ll smash these damn things...”
This time for real, we left the church behind us. The former Hero tried to take the lead, but I took her hand, and the two of us walked off together. We left the Gods’ side, wandering out of their sight for a little vacation all our own.