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BY carriage, Agnes made her way to a most convenient little shop. It sold a variety of things and bought secondhand items, too.
As Agnes was busily creating a mountain of dresses atop the shop counter, a man in his early thirties emerged from the back.
“Good day to you, Lady Lefort. Mushrooms again today, is it?”
“No. Not this time. Today, I was hoping to sell these dresses.”
The man nodded sagely, casting his eye across the dress mountain.
“I see, I see. All right, let’s take a look-see.”
The man began combing through the pile of dresses, examining each one and making notes on a notepad with his appraisal.
He was the owner of this little shop and Agnes was a regular customer.
She made herself comfortable on a nearby sofa and waited for the shopkeeper to finish.
“Well, they’re all of fine quality…but these colors. They’re so…drab.”
“Yes, I know they might not sell among women my age, but I was thinking that elderly ladies might like them.”
“Hmm…with a few simple ornamentations added, they might. I’ll have to make some adjustments, so let’s factor that into the price. And the jewelry is very nice as well. That should sell no problem. All right. How about…this much?”
The shopkeeper finished his appraisals swiftly and handed Agnes a piece of paper. Depending on how much money he was offering, making arrangements to leave home was either about to get a good deal easier, or…not.
Nervously, Agnes reached for the piece of paper and accidentally bumped hands with the shopkeeper. At that exact instant, five brown mushrooms sprouted up the length of his arm. Each one appeared in sequence, with a series of cute popping sounds.
Agnes slowly lifted her eyes to meet the shopkeeper’s.
“Oh, please forgive me, my lady. I did not mean to touch your hand.”
“N-No, it was my fault.”
Seemingly used to this kind of thing, the shopkeeper plucked the mushrooms off his arm and examined them in a bunch.
“Ah, Lyophyllum Decastes, the “chicken of the gravel.” Quite edible. But not particularly rare. I can’t give you much for them, but if you’d like to sell…?”
“…Please accept them as a token of my esteem instead.”
“If you insist, then, gladly. A tasty little mushroom, this one. Very firm. Very toothsome.”
Agnes sighed as she watched the shopkeeper hurry into the back of the shop, smiling and clutching the handful of mushrooms.
The reason why Agnes had become a regular patron of this shop? It all came down to the mushrooms.
She had developed a fear of men ever since her commoner days, when they would flock to her in droves and make all kinds of passes at her because of her peach-blossom-colored hair. As a result, the protective spirits that dwelled within her reacted to this fear by—for some inexplicable reason—causing mushrooms to sprout on any man who approached her.
Men Agnes found particularly intimidating would be blighted with the biggest, most poisonous of mushrooms in great numbers.
The neighborhood boys who teased her took to calling Agnes “The Peach Blossom Mushroom Princess” as they fled from her, their bodies covered in clusters of mushrooms.
It’d hardly been the best of childhoods.
But Agnes felt safe with the men of her family. Mushrooms hardly ever sprouted on her adoptive father Benoit or her brother Kevin. When they did, they were of the harmless, tasty and edible varieties.
In the early days of their engagement, Philip had been the hapless recipient of spontaneous mushroom sprouting as well. But bit by bit, as Agnes got to know him and realized how daft he truly was, he almost seemed to become immune. Hardly any mushrooms sprouted on Philip by the end.
Once Agnes began seeing Philip as an incompetent younger brother, the mushroom magic all but stopped working on him.
Yes, Philip’s fungal immunity had been a major point in his favor. But that hardly mattered anymore. After all, he’d broken off their engagement for good.
Unable to accept the prospect of a marriage smothered in mushrooms, Agnes had given up on the idea altogether.
Benoit could use his connections to find her someone understanding and trustworthy, no doubt. But until he dropped his bombshell, she thought she’d already found that in Philip.
She couldn’t risk trusting another man again.
Besides, she could somehow sense that the mushroom reflex had only grown stronger now. She’d missed her one chance.
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ALL right. I’ve sold my most valuable possessions. It’s time to think about what else I can do to make money.
Back in her bedroom, Agnes was gazing down at her remaining dresses with her arms crossed. These were among the ones she’d taken to the store, but the shopkeeper had rejected them for being too drab to sell.
She’d no further use for them either, but they were still made of good quality material, drab or not. She couldn’t just throw them away.
Agnes got out her sewing kit and brandished a pair of fabric shears.
“…What are you doing, Sis?”
While Agnes was engrossed in her sewing, a figure spoke to her from the nearby chair.
It was her younger brother, Kevin, with his golden hair and reddish-brown eyes. He was her cousin by blood and brother through adoption. He’d lost his mother the same day she’d lost hers.
“What does it look like? I’m making a skirt. And a hair ribbon.”
“What for?”
“Taking apart some old dresses. Hate to just throw them away.”
“But why? Why are you taking your dresses apart?”
“Hmm? Oh, Kevin. You haven’t heard?”
Agnes explained about her engagement being off, which was why she no longer needed these drab dresses and was why she was taking them apart. Kevin sighed and rolled his eyes.
“Gosh, Sis, why are you always so melodramatic? And anyway, ALL your dresses are drab. You’ll have nothing left to wear!”
“Well, these are the ones that were far too drab to even sell. I’m going to cut them up and make them into a skirt and a hair ribbon.”
“You shouldn’t be doing that. It’s not appropriate behavior for a count’s daughter. That’s seamstress work. What are you trying to do, Sis?”
“I was about to get married to a royal, you know. Well, royal-adjacent. I was going to be a countess. But now, I’ve got a new plan. I’m going to become a commoner instead!”
“But…why?”
Kevin shot a glance at Therese, who’d just walked in holding a tray of tea. They shared a nod and a conspiratorial sigh together.
“All right, all right. I’m fine with you giving up the dresses. After all, you only bought those ugly things to appease Lord Philip and his odd fixation. But there’s no need to try to sell them. Or cut them up.”
“…Fixation?”
“Ah, forget that part. It hardly matters anymore. All I’m saying is…now you can wear nice, colorful dresses again. I’m sure you’ll look lovely in them.”
Indeed, ever since getting engaged to Philip, Agnes had slowly replaced her entire wardrobe of colorful dresses with bland, boring ones.
“No, no, no. I’m aiming for a commoner life. I won’t need fancy gowns anymore.”
“Why, though? Why do you have to go to such lengths? You haven’t done anything wrong, Sis. Really, it’s fine! Philip’s the one who went off and had an affair and called off your engagement and made a scene, not you.”
“Even so, no one’s going to want Philip’s reject now. And if I stay at home, I’ll end up putting off your future bridal prospects too, Kevin. No one wants to deal with a jilted, spinster sister-in-law who was rejected by a royal suitor, now, do they? I’d never put that burden on your shoulders.”
No, Agnes would rather die than become a burden to her beloved family.
“So…you’re going to become a commoner?”
“Yep. I’m pretty confident that I can handle it. I’m sturdy, you know? I could be a seamstress or even work in the fields. After all, I was raised as a commoner. It should be easy to slip right back into it.”
Kevin shook his head as Agnes grinned at him, her fists balled up in a display of bravado.
“But you’re missing the point. I don’t want you to go back to being a commoner. Neither does Father.”
“Thank you, Kevin. It’s sweet of you to say that.”
Agnes had been blessed with a loving family and counted herself lucky for it.
That was why she was doing this. It was all for them.
Agnes smiled as her dress shears sliced through fabric.
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Mushrooms of the Day
Matsutake
A high-grade mushroom known by most.
What better reason to check out the roots of a pine tree than to locate one of these mushrooms?
But am I the only one whose mind jumps straight to Matsutake soup, before the actual mushroom itself…?
Lyophyllum Decastes (Chicken of the Gravel)
An edible mushroom with an ashy gray umbrella-shaped cap.
It looks rather like a shapeless, unenthusiastic Shiitake mushroom.
Firm-textured with a rich flavor, it cooks up well. I could go for one right now…!