“A-Agnes…?” Philip bleated, but Agnes only gave him a cold look of triumph.
“Don’t talk to me, you waste of air. I only want to hear the sweet sound of my beloved Claude’s voice.” She’d gone over that line many times in her head, but actually saying it out loud made her want to die of embarrassment.
“Oh, Agnes. I’m going to make sure you’re a satisfied woman,” Claude breathed, sounding delighted, and kissed Agnes on the forehead. She hadn’t been expecting that, so she had to roll with it somehow.
“B-But…” Philip, looking lost in despair, allowed himself to be led out of the garden by the guard knight.
The moment he disappeared from sight, Agnes squirmed free of Claude and let out a gasping breath.
“Th-That was so shameful…! Oh, I’m so embarrassed, I can’t stop shaking!”
She knew she was red in the face, and her hands were trembling. Obviously, it had been a fake performance. How could Philip not see through it? On the contrary, it seemed to have worked like a charm.
“Are you sure that was all necessary?” she asked.
Armand nodded, smiling with satisfaction at his idea. “He misinterpreted your shyness around Claude as a sign you weren’t truly in love with him. He needed to see your devotion to Claude in order to accept it.”
“Seriously?”
That made sense. Kinda. Maybe.
“Oh, you’re done? Maybe we should practice more. For the next time we encounter Philip?” Claude teased, grabbing Agnes’s trembling hand and placing his lips against the back of it.
“I-I think that’s enough!” she rejected.
“Oh, drat…”
“Well, you two can flirt as much as you like after this,” Armand said. “I won’t be able to make it to the wedding, but I’ll wish you both every happiness now.”
Armand was Claude’s older brother. He wasn’t coming to the wedding?
Cesar, however, had a different sentiment as he rolled his eyes and said, “Stop being so stubborn. The grid has been reinforced. We have good knights in place. You should come to the wedding, Armand.”
“Nah. Someone has to be around to keep an eye on Philip. Make sure he gets to work as he should.”
Everyone had to agree with that; Philip was not to be trusted.
The mushroom spirits, however, had other sentiments as well, as a chorus of loud pops announced the arrival of new mushrooms on the garden lawn.
With its characteristic big warts, the white Amanita cokeri grew alongside a Podostroma cornudamae—another poisonous red and white mushroom. The deer antler-shaped mushroom can poison a person just by touching them. Seeing as it sprouted on the ground, maybe this indicated they were being considerate.
However, their sudden appearance must signify…
“Um… It seems some surveillance mushrooms have sprouted,” Agnes said.
“Rawr!”
“They’re saying… Leave things here to us,” Claude interpreted.
Armand blinked a few times, looking at the “surveillance mushrooms,” and at Claude, interpreter of the sacred beast’s tiny roar. He grinned and threw up his hands.
“Then, I’ll come to the wedding, Mushroom Princess. To celebrate your union with my…mushroom-brained little brother.”
✦ ✦ ✦
🍄🍄🍄
Mushrooms of the Day
Cryptoporus volvatus
It grows on tree trunks and looks like a snail. The bottom part is cream-colored and the top part is a glossy brown. It looks like a chestnut stuck in the tree bark. The name makes it sound yummy, and it definitely looks yummy, but apparently it doesn’t taste good.
A shrewd mushroom that wants to be stroked every chance it gets. It sprouted thinking, “Now’s my chance to be praised and stroked!’’ But when it found itself plucked by two Crest Bearers, it decided to show off to the general assembly instead.
Chorioactis
A mushroom that starts as a spherical shape and opens into a star shape, blackish brown on the outside and orange on the inside. A super rare mushroom that is an endangered species. It is also called the “Devil’s Cigar” because of the way spores spew out like white smoke from the cracks.
Philip was acting way too overly familiar with Agnes, so it sprouted to spurt angry spores.
Leucocoprinus fragilissimus
This semi-transparent white mushroom radiating with lemon-colored stripes looks exactly like a Japanese umbrella. The elongated handle is hollow, and the cap is incredibly thin. It’s known as one of the most fragile of mushrooms. A non-touchable mushroom that breaks even if you poke it with your finger or if the wind blows on it. It’s good friends with Entoloma virescens and Podoserpula miranda, which both also quickly disintegrate.
“Don’t touch Agnes!” it sprouted to warn Philip.
Sphaeroborus stellatus
When ripe, this mushroom’s outer skin splits into 6 to 10 pieces in a star shape, and it expels black sticky balls about 1 millimeter in size. Although it has a small body the size of about 1 centimeter, it has a range of a few meters and is quite aggressive. Its sticky balls can’t be washed away easily with mere water.
It sprayed sticky spheres on Philip’s clothes and succeeded in giving him a polka-dot makeover.
Clitocybe acromelalga
Yellow with an indented cap. A poisonous mushroom; it’s vicious. Once it enters the body, it lays dormant for 4 to 5 days. After that, it attacks the fingers, toes, and penis of the victim and causes excruciating pain for a month or more. Why does it target the penis? No one knows.
“Do you want the penis pain punishment?” it threatened Philip. A brave mushroom. It’s willing to sprout a kamikaze mouth attack if the situation calls for it.
Hungarian Sweet Truffle
It looks like a white potato, but it’s a truffle that’s as sweet as saccharin. It’s often eaten as is as a dessert. Boasting a unique sweetness in the mushroom world, it is still sweet even when dried.
Agnes’s unexpected sweetness took it by surprise, making it realize it was in danger of losing its status as the sweetest one.
Amanita cokeri
A white mushroom with big warty bits and a flaky stalk. It looks kind of like an all-white Amanita muscaria. Nobody knows if it’s poisonous or edible, but I wouldn’t want to take a bite and find out! A surveillance mushroom that is worried about Agnes’s personal and psychological state.
“I’ll call the troops! Leave it to me!” it called, filled with enthusiasm.
Podostroma cornudamae
It looks like bright, burning red fingers reaching from the ground. Only a few grams can be a lethal dose, and even touching it is not advised. It’s a really poisonous mushroom. An important figure in the poisonous mushroom world who previously burned away the hair roots of both Philip and the King of Oreille.
“If the hair punishment wasn’t enough, next time I’ll take your eyebrows!” it cried, aiming to punish Philip.