“Um, I personally think that House Mercure used to be much worse than it was here. Although I suppose that things were indeed similar—they were just on another level at the schoolhouse.”
In both the old schoolhouse and the Royal Knights, the people at the top tyrannized the weak and the powerless. I assumed that this was what Char meant.
With a nod, he resumed, “While we were here, I... I thought of you. Of the you before you regained your memories, specifically.”
He was talking about my clueless, timid old self—the Lam from before I awoke to my past life as Aurora. My personality had since done a complete one-eighty.
“I realized just how horrible your situation was back then. I don’t understand how I never noticed until you spelled it out for me.”
“I went a little too far when I criticized you back then. You were completely clueless about the world outside the Mercure estate, after all,” I admitted.
It had been unreasonable of me to impose my own morals from five hundred years ago on him without considering his situation. Yet, he had still listened to my concerns and tried in his own way to improve himself.
“No, I believe you did the right thing. You pretty much saved us. But I regret not having done anything to fix the situation beforehand. If I had stopped the servants from bullying you, perhaps the old Lam would have felt free to act more like your current bubbly self.”
“Probably not. My old self had always been an apathetic, timid, naive coward, ever since she was a child. She’d given up on life and lived in constant fear. Although, I suppose the way her parents treated her and the aftereffects of the reincarnation spell might have played a part in shaping her personality. Either way, you don’t need to concern yourself with it so much,” I said.
“I also realized that I never properly apologized to you,” Char said, fixing his gaze on me.
His demeanor conveyed far more about his emotions than his words, and from reading it, I could feel how much he regretted his past behavior.
“I know it’s a long time coming, but I’m truly sorry for the way I treated you back then.”
I blinked and felt myself grow flustered. “Um... Don’t worry about it?”
Honestly, there didn’t seem to be any need to bring up this matter now. While it was true that the old Lam had suffered tremendously, Char had made incredible progress in correcting his attitude, rescuing me more times than I could count. I wasn’t sure what had sparked this newfound introspection in him, but it seemed he had gained some insight during his time at the Royal Knights.
Leaving the estate had helped us broaden our horizons, which was a good thing. We had both been raised in unique environments, so we often struggled to wrap our heads around matters that others considered obvious. Despite our differing values, I didn’t want to stop reaching out to new people.
“If you had told me back when I first regained my memories that you would apologize to me like this, I wouldn’t have believed it.”
“I can see that you don’t really care about the past, but I didn’t want to pretend that it never happened,” Char said, averting his gaze in embarrassment.
He had been born the son of a duke and then went on to become the top student at the schoolhouse. Needless to say, he never had to be humble before. The fact that he was now able to understand his own mistakes and apologize for them showed just how much he’d grown as a person. While he had seemed hopeless at first, I could tell just by looking at him that he was doing his best to better himself.
He seems to worry about the past, but he really doesn’t need to. Besides, he doesn’t need my help to become a better person; he’s doing great by himself without me needing to hold his hand. If anything, I’m the one who ends up relying on him for a lot of things.
Char was the type to speak through his actions rather than his words.
But it’s a good thing that he chose to talk to me about it. The fact that he’s trying to become a better person is already progress. I shall keep watching over his growth.
Char was the first person since Finis who didn’t need to rely on me.
But it’s not quite the same as her...
As Finis was my master, I had been the one relying on her. But with Char, things were different. To me, Finis was my mother, my disciples were my children, and everyone else in the world was a vulnerable, delicate being who needed my protection. But Char didn’t fall into any of these categories. As such, I still struggled to this day with navigating our relationship.
“You’ve got a lot of stuff on your mind, don’t you?” I whispered without meaning to.
“Of course I do. However, there are still many things that I don’t understand.”
“Like what?”
“You like me, but I honestly don’t understand why. It might sound strange to say this about myself, but while I see how I can be easy to hate, I don’t think that I’m particularly lovable.”
“I-I disagree...” I stammered.
While it was true that I had wanted to divorce him at first, I didn’t feel that way anymore.
“You refuse to let me protect you, don’t you? You don’t even let me take care of you,” I said.
“Why would I? I’m your husband, not your child. How could I let you take care of me?”
“Well, you have a point, but...I’ve noticed that you always try to protect me—even though you’re not that strong.”
“The last part was unnecessary,” Char huffed sullenly, but he let me continue.
“What I’m trying to say is, you’re so different from everyone else that you make me lose my bearings. I’ve never met anyone as obstinate as you, so...”
Before I knew it, I had found myself being affected by Char’s personality and actions, and by the time I became conscious of it, he had become someone I couldn’t stop thinking about.
“By the way, what do you like about me?” I asked.
I knew I sounded like a nagging girlfriend, but I was just too curious to stop myself from asking.
“What I like about you...?” An annoyed look crossed Char’s face. “Pretty much everything, I’d say.”
“Hey, that’s not fair. You’re the one who made me say how I feel about you first, so you don’t get to be vague about it,” I argued.
“But I did answer your question,” he retorted.
“Be more specific,” I insisted.
As I studied Char, I noticed that his eyes were darting around, his cheeks flushed. He might have been playing it cool, but he was obviously flustered. Actually, this might be the first time I’d seen him in such a state.
“Your personality...” he muttered.
“Still too vague!”
I marched up to him and peered closely at his face.
“Do we really need to continue this conversation?” he grumbled. “With everything that happened between us, it would be more odd if I weren’t interested in you.”
“I won’t move from here until you give me a proper answer.”
A look of resignation settled on Char’s face. Despite how reluctant he was to continue this conversation, he finally leveled his gaze at me.
“I know you don’t feel like you’re protecting me, but if it weren’t for you, I’d probably have worked myself to death by now. I’ve just grown fond of the woman who saved my life... It’s not that strange, is it?”
“It’s not?”
“It’s not. We only started talking properly after you regained your memories and, um... That’s when I took a liking to you. It was quite early on,” he confessed.
He had indeed said these exact words to me soon after I’d regained my memories. At the time, I had thought he was being condescending, so I had brushed it off. But it turned out he had truly meant it; he was simply terrible at expressing his feelings—perhaps Char just struggled with conveying his emotions, in general.
He’s probably never been very good at it. I can’t imagine he had many heart-to-hearts with the people of the schoolhouse.
But he was gradually improving on that front as well.
“I like how much of a hard worker you are,” I said out of the blue.
“Wh-What?!” he exclaimed, taken aback by the suddenness of my comment. What a refreshing reaction.
I just told him how I truly feel, though. Why is he so flustered? Perhaps he’s not used to having his feelings reciprocated in such a direct manner?
That sounded plausible, especially considering how red his face was—although, part of the reason for it was likely because I’d caught him off guard.
Perhaps I should consider showing my affection to him more proactively. Still, I’ve never seen him shy away like this before. It makes me want to tease him a little.
I mischievously found myself thinking that I would like to see him even more flustered. I placed a hand on his shoulder, gripping it firmly over his clothes. The spells he cast on me a few days ago had already dissipated, so my touch wouldn’t hurt him. Not that they would have activated anyway—these types of spells only triggered when the other person harbored malicious intent.
“Wh-What is it, Lam...?”
“Oh, nothing much. I was just wondering why you were preparing to run away,” I said airily.
“Uhhh...”
He tried to step back, but my grip on his shoulder prevented him from moving. He seemed even more bashful than earlier.
What should I do next?
But as I plotted my next move, I suddenly felt a presence behind me. Turning around, I saw the twins walking up to us.
“You’re both still here?” they asked.
It seemed that the two of them had come to fetch us.
“We were worried about how long you were taking, but you were just flirting in the hallway all along?” Barre said.
Behind him, Fouet was sporting a knowing smirk. “Please don’t mind us and keep enjoying each other’s company to your hearts’ content.”
Char’s eyes began darting around again. He was even more embarrassed now that the twins had started teasing us.
“Wha— You... You were watching all along?” he stammered.
“It was quite a change of pace seeing the madam push you around for once. How adorable, Lord Char,” Fouet said.
“You’re more of a pushover than I thought,” Barre added.
“Quiet! Shut up, both of you!” Char exclaimed, visibly overwhelmed.
He cleared his throat and schooled his face back into its usual neutral mask.
“Lam, we’re leaving.”
With that, he turned on his heels. His ears were still bright red. He hadn’t managed to hide his turmoil at all.
“Coming!”
Grinning from ear to ear, I used magic to change into my usual clothes. Char did the same, and we teleported to the first floor with the twins.