“…Sir Yuri?”
The figure beside her shifted, and the warmth in her right hand instantly faded.
“You’re awake.”
He was sitting on the edge of a chair placed next to the bed. Blue-tinted moonlight poured through the window onto his back as his eyes softened in relief.
“Are you hurt?” he asked.
“No…I’m fine. Um, Sir Yuri…?”
“Yes?” She wanted to ask him if he had been holding her hand.
If I didn’t imagine it, then that other time, too…
But she couldn’t gather the courage to take his hand, now that he had withdrawn it from hers.
“Um…what time is it?” She couldn’t say the words on her mind.
“It’s the middle of the night,” he answered calmly.
“It is?!”
She tried to leap out of bed, but she was too weak. Realizing what she wanted, Yuri hesitantly put his hand on her waist and helped her sit up.
She was shocked. She couldn’t believe he was tending to her so devotedly.
Also, if she admitted the truth—she was a little bit captivated by how elegant his movements were.
“Can you drink something?”
“Y-yes. Thank you.”
She hurriedly took the glass he was holding out, and the water was pleasantly cool on her throat. Before she knew it, the glass was empty. Slowly, her hazy thoughts came into focus.
…This is my room, isn’t it?
All her familiar things were there. But she couldn’t understand why Yuri was in her room. And not only that, the two of them were alone. In the middle of the night.
All right…I remember falling in the garden and Yuri coming, but then what…?
She looked down at herself.
………I’m in my nightgown.
No.
No, no, no. She shook her head. There was no way Yuri could have changed her clothes. Sienna would never have let him do that. The maids must have washed her, changed her, and put her in bed. There was no other answer.
But to be seen in her nightgown by a gentleman who wasn’t her lover or fiancé—well, that didn’t bother her, but there were plenty of other problems.
My hair is a mess because I was sleeping. I like this nightgown, but it’s all wrinkled!
She touched her face—no powder. Everything was a mess.
How humiliating for Yuri to see her like this! She had to comb her hair. She had to smooth out her nightgown and put on makeup!
“S-Sir Yuri, I’d like to tidy myself u—”
“Was that your version of a joke?” he retorted, deadpan.
“I’m sorry,” she said, bowing her head.
“Who is this meek maiden?”
“…I’ve made a huge mistake. Even I know that.”
He must have sensed how bad she felt because he didn’t press the point. “Your maids were here until a few minutes ago, but they looked so exhausted, I told them to rest.”
“Oh…” Something occurred to her. “Does that mean you’ve stayed with me this whole time?”
Almost twelve hours must have passed since she collapsed.
Yuri gave a little nod. She stared at him.
“I mean, I left to eat in the other room, and I wasn’t the only one keeping an eye on you.”
Still…
A pail of water was sitting on the floor. He must have used it to cool her neck; she noticed a damp cloth balled up by her pillow.
Before she could thank him, he said sternly, “Anyhow, Brigitte, about this afternoon. Why did you do something like that?”
His tone was so harsh, she didn’t answer right away. Although his face revealed little, he was obviously angry. And she knew she deserved it. She shrank, opening and closing her mouth several times before finally saying, “I just…wanted to meet my spirit.”
“And you thought forcing yourself to get used to fire was the right way to do it?”
“I thought that as long as I was afraid of fire, my spirit wouldn’t show itself.”
“Brigitte,” he said, as if he were scolding an unreasonable child. “Before, when Lisa Selmin tried to attack you, didn’t you say you were scared?”
She hadn’t expected him to bring that up. Still, she didn’t want to be coaxed into changing her mind.
“…I did. But I can’t stay this way.”
“Brigitte,” he said, this time with even more reproach—but then his hand brushed her cheek.
“!”
She gasped. That was a lover’s touch. His hand was so gentle that she thought her heart would stop.
“You said you were afraid.”
She looked up. He had stood from the chair, repeating his point as if he was lecturing her. His brow was tightly furrowed. His pained eyes gazed down at her.
“You cried that day, remember?”
She shook her head. “…You were the one who made me cry.”
Her words sounded surprisingly like an excuse, even to herself. Her throat quivered. She had to stop, or else he’d see her foolishness again.
“I…I didn’t cry because I was scared.”
“…Brigitte.”
But, but…
“I want to be strong like you…”
A strained noise escaped her throat, and then the dam burst.
She could no longer hold back the flood of her emotions. Yuri seemed startled by the tears rolling down her cheeks, and for a second, he pulled his hand back. In that instant, she burrowed her head under the covers and curled into a ball. It was the most obvious means of escape.
“…Brigitte…”
“…!”
Even he was unlikely to pull the covers off her. His voice sounded weak. But she couldn’t bring herself to answer. It was all she could do to press one hand to her mouth so that the wails would not escape.