Turns out my coworker and I were from the same orphanage.
“Goodness me, Anna!” exclaimed Ben, who sat next to me. “Wow, no way! I would’ve never guessed! Never ever! Not ever!”
“Would you be so kind as to explain what the hell that’s supposed to mean?” I asked.
“I mean, you were so unattractive! And you were hungry all the time—” Ben stopped talking when I pinched his side and began to apologize. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”
His tendency to stick his foot in his mouth hadn’t changed one bit since childhood.
“Well, I never thought I’d see you without a runny nose,” I countered.
“You really thought I’d still have a runny nose as an adult?” he asked. “What did you think I’d look like, Anna?”
“Still that same kid with a perpetually snotty nose.”
“That same kid with a perpetually snotty nose, huh?” Ben lamented. His nose was, in fact, no longer snotty. I never thought Ben would’ve turned out to be the same kid I’d once known, who’d always had to carry tissues to blow his nose with.
“What about you, Ben?” I asked. “What did you think I’d grow up to be?”
“I thought you’d mess up a bunch, get kicked out of your adopted home, and end up as a self-made, decent dude.”
“Where do I even begin with that?”
What the hell did he even think of me? There was so much to unpack here.
“First of all, I’m not a ‘dude,’ so why in blazes would you think I’d become a ‘decent dude’?”
“You were the handsomest kid out of all of us,” Ben explained. “Like, to the point you’d have gotten by easier if you pretended to be a guy.”
“Well, that’s true,” I mused. “Back when I lived here, I used to wonder if they’d gotten my gender wrong.”
“Uh, Anna, you’re not supposed to agree with me there, I don’t think.”
“I only really felt like a girl when I realized I couldn’t pee standing up.”
That had been a shock to me, actually. Along with the realization that I wouldn’t be developing certain male attributes. After all, I was better at fighting than the other boys; athletic, smart, a leader among the kids! I was the perfect boy, I thought.
I’d never been able to tell anyone else that it was my inability to pee while standing that had made me realize I was not, in fact, a boy.
“When I was getting adopted, they had to check several times to make sure I was actually a girl,” I said.
“You had short hair and always wore pants,” Ben added.
“I liked them better! They were more comfortable.” And I was always a function-over-form type of girl.
“And also,” Ben said a little sheepishly. “Uh, and also... I wasn’t expecting all that...boing.”
“I wasn’t either.” I sighed, looking down at my chest. I really hadn’t thought it’d grow this much. After my growth spurt, I thought they got in the way whenever I moved. Now choosing outfits was such a hassle! I spent so much money on clothes. “It’s way better to be average, especially when it comes to expenses.”
“Still talking about money, I see.”
“Of course I am! People with money get things done in this world, Ben.”
“No dreams in your heart, huh.”
Dreams did not put food on the table!
The orphanage was under Nadir’s supervision now, and seemed to be in much better shape, but back when I’d lived here, things had been a lot worse. Getting a full meal at all had been a challenge. Children become realists quickly when raised in an environment like that—I was the prime example.
“Well, the letters you taught me came in handy, at least,” Ben mused.
“See?” I said. “You should be grateful! Perhaps even drop to your knees and worship me.”
“Your ugly side really comes out at times like this,” he said with a long, exasperated sigh. “Man, if you’d been found, he might really have kicked me out.”
“What?”
“Remember what I told you before, that there was another kid he’d wanted instead?”
Oh, right. He’d told me this shortly after I became a maid. I nodded.
“Wait, Anna...”
“Huh...”
Wait. Was it me Nadir had wanted to take in twelve years ago? Did that mean...
“Does that mean Nadir thought I was outstanding?!” I exclaimed.
“Well, it’s probably because he ended up with me instead. And he treats me like I’m a failure, so...”
“I mean, you are very bad at your job.”
“You’re so mean...” Ben whined, beginning to tear up.
But I couldn’t afford to be distracted by this! There was something much more important at play here! Namely, the fact Nadir had wanted to adopt me!
“I can’t stay here like this!” I exclaimed. “I’ll see you later, Ben!”
“Hey! Anna!”
Ignoring Ben’s cries for me to wait, I took off running.