Once the gnomes had gone, Meryl and Mira, who had been nearby, raised their voices in excitement.
“A hot spring?! That’s amazing! Let’s go for a dip ASAP!”
“Agreed!” Mira said eagerly. She then picked up one of my store’s products. “Oh, please sell us these Squirt Guns. We’d like to play with them at the hot spring.” What she held in her hand was a blue Squirt Gun.
“Hey now, you can’t go playing with toys in a public hot spring,” I scolded her.
“What’s the harm? There won’t be anyone there but us. And recently, my shoulders have been quite stiff...” With a pained expression, Mira tapped her own shoulder. Mira does have some pretty big ones...
Product name: Squirt Gun
Description: A toy you play with by putting water in it and squirting it. If you aim directly at a pressure point on the body, then there’s a massaging effect. It reduces painful shoulder stiffness and lower back pain.
Price: One hundred rims
At a glance, it looked like the pistol type of water gun that’d been around for ages. But this world’s Squirt Guns were high-quality. The fact that they could massage you made them an especially exceptional item. Mira had a good point. It was still a private hot spring, so there was some room for a bit of horsing around in there. I hadn’t used these things before either, so I decided I’d test them out for myself.
However, as we were getting fired up about the idea, Minerva angrily shouted at us.
“No! Nooo way! You can’t!!!”
What’s he so upset about?
“Why not?” I asked, a little annoyed.
“I won’t allow the three of you to go to a hot spring together!” he seethed. “You shameless hussies! You intend to sandwich Yusuke between your naked bodies and have him completely, don’t you? I won’t let that happen!”
Minerva’s words left Meryl and me speechless.
“Of course we’re going to be taking turns. Where did you get the idea that there would be any mixed bathing?”
“I don’t dislike Mister Yusuke or anything,” Meryl started, “but it’s not like we’re lovers, so I don’t wanna go in together.”
“Huh?” Minerva paused. “Really?”
“I personally don’t mind,” Mira suddenly said, ever the natural airhead.
“Mira?”
“All we’ll be doing is entering a bath together, right? So long as we use towels, nothing will show.”
With those large assets of hers, I don’t think towels would cover much...
But Minerva wasn’t having it. He exploded with rage. “I will definitely not allow that!!!”
It took a lot of effort to finally calm him down.
✦ ✦ ✦
This was unbelievable. At this rate, Yusuke was going to fall prey to those cheeky brats. And of all things, Yusuke was going to take them to the hot spring! He had no idea how dangerous that was! To make matters worse, he’d completely left me behind.
No, of course Yusuke had been kind enough to invite me along. But I couldn’t go with him. If I went down to B2, those annoying Chime Blossom Bugs would start whining, and my true identity would be revealed. It was likely I’d have to reveal that I was Michelle the witch to Yusuke eventually, but I wanted to wait until after we’d gotten a little more intimate.
This had seemed like a good opportunity, but I hadn’t expected those two would butt in... That mage Mira was especially in the way. She acted all airheaded, but she couldn’t fool me. I could see through her scheme to seduce him with her womanly assets, clear as day. Also, my breasts were bigger than hers. If I didn’t have this cognitive obstruction spell on me, Yusuke would stop even giving other women the time of day. Aah, this world is so unreasonable.
But what should I do? I had faith in Yusuke, but I could think of some worst-case scenarios. If those two both seduced him at once, his rational mind might crumble. Hot springs were full of mana that lowered people’s inhibitions. No, I had to go and protect him. But what should I do about those Chime Blossom Bugs?
...I could just burn them all.
It was so simple. Why hadn’t I thought of this sooner? Everyone hated those things anyway since they sucked out your blood. I was sure their population would increase again, but if I worked through the night using my Fire Magic to incinerate them, I felt I could stave off the Chime Blossom Bugs on floor B2 at least.
All right, I’ll pull an all-nighter and then go to the hot spring with Yusuke tomorrow. ♡
✦ ✦ ✦
Minerva, who had been sulking beside the store, abruptly stood up. It seemed he’d had a strict upbringing. He was so scandalized by the mere idea of men and women going to a hot spring together. We’d appeased him by telling him it wasn’t like we were going in at the same time, but was he coming back to complain some more?
“Yusuke, about tomorrow... I’ll go with you to the hot spring after all.”
“O-Oh. That’s fine, but didn’t you say you had something to do?”
“Don’t worry. I decided I’ll take care of it tonight. So sell me a box of Ten-Rim Gum.”
“A whole box of it? Are you going to be using a lot of mana?”
“Yeah, just a bit of a Maximum Inferno spell.”
I had no idea what that entailed, but the name alone sounded pretty crazy.
“Don’t push yourself too hard,” I said, handing him my remaining box of Ten-Rim Gum.
“Don’t worry. I’m simply going to exterminate some pests.”
“Huh...”
Minerva’s mood had seemingly done a one-eighty, and he now looked pretty pumped.
✦ ✦ ✦
The dungeon at night, emptied of people, had fallen completely silent. I gathered up the wind to check my surroundings, but there were only monsters, with no adventurers left on floor B2. Only the Chime Blossom Bugs’ shrill cries were reverberating throughout the area. These things were also called Whining Striped Mosquitoes, and they looked very much like bulked-up mosquitoes.
The insects were chirping loudly, “Chee, chee, chee.”
“Hmph. Cry as much as you want now. You’ve gotten in my way time and time again. Thanks to you all, those adventurers are always after me.”
They kept crying out.
“Are you begging for your life now? Sorry, but this is also for the sake of my happiness with Yusuke.”
Readying my magic, I shouted, “Take this, Maximum Inferno!”
An enormous flame gushed forth into the dungeon’s passageway, surging and sweeping across the floor. For some time, the bright flare illuminated the darkness before the dungeon was once again consumed by shadows.
“Did I do it...?”
To my dismay, the insects’ whine sounded again.
“Why, you—!” I yelled. “You’re still here?!”
I tossed some Ten-Rim Gum into my mouth and let the mana course through my body once more.
✦ ✦ ✦
Several hours had passed, and those insects were still chirping away. No matter how many times I burned them, the Chime Blossom Bugs would reemerge like ghosts from the depths of hell. I couldn’t take this anymore.
Their chorus continued, “Chee, chee, chee.”
I’m the one who wants to cry.
“Chee, chee, chee.” They wouldn’t stop.
“Shut up!” I screamed. I blasted a flame toward them, burning them to a crisp, but after a moment their cries started up again from somewhere.
This might be impossible...
“Tee hee! Mister Yusuke, I’ll rinse off your back for you!”
“Aw shucks, heh heh.”
Just as I began to resign myself, the image of a naked Mira closing in on a dreamy and dazed Yusuke floated into my mind’s eye.
No, no, nooo!!! I wouldn’t let those two have their way with Yusuke! If it came down to it, I’d make it so he couldn’t hear anymore...
“Wait, that’s it!”
I was such an idiot! Instead of trying to exterminate all the Chime Blossom Bugs on floor B2, it’d be way easier to make it so that Yusuke and those brats couldn’t hear them! I’d make full use of my Acoustic Magic and turn those cries into the sounds of chirping birds!
Once this ingenious idea came to mind, I plopped down on the floor. Dawn was approaching, and our meeting time was right around the corner.