The mage woman looked upset from the martial artist’s prodding. I was never part of Do-Melta’s academic system, so I was a complete stranger to all of this talk about the magic academy.
“So, what are you all doing after this?” I asked.
“We were thinking of gathering some mushrooms, then heading home.”
“Mushrooms?!”
That word scared me, though I wasn’t sure if it was because I was a coward or because I was from the modern world. It wasn’t uncommon for people to eat mushrooms because a book mistakenly told them it was safe, and there were food poisoning cases because of that every year. To be honest, I’d been exploring this floor under the assumption that everything was poisonous. I’d warned Carbuncle not to put random things from here into its mouth, so we were fine on that end.
Speaking of Carbuncle, it was pushing my thigh with its front paws and begging me for more bananas. So I peeled a banana and handed it over, and Carbuncle began eating it happily. Cute.
“Are the mushrooms here edible?” I asked.
“Yeah, we only harvest the ones that are obviously safe to eat.”
“Then...I guess there’s no need to worry.”
“If you think about it, there’s poison on pretty much every floor of the dungeon. We’ve always been careful about that kind of stuff.”
“That’s good,” I said.
Being aware of such dangers was really important. There were poisonous herbs even in the Forest. Seriously, there was poison everywhere. The dungeon was a dangerous place that wasn’t very kind to humans.
“What about you? What are you planning to do?”
“I think I’ll explore a bit further before heading home,” I said.
“You mean you’re going to the next floor? Are you sure?”
“I’ll be fine,” I replied. “The Dark Corridors is at depth level 30, and according to the booklet, the next floor won’t be all that tough. I’ll flee as fast as I can if I sense danger.”
“Um, do you mind if I ask what level you are?” he asked.
“Ah, I’d like to keep that a secret, if you don’t mind,” I said.
“Be careful out there.”
“I appreciate the concern.”
After saying goodbye to team Aurora, I went to check out the next floor, the Ever-Raining Wetlands. Needless to say, it was raining, so I turned back immediately. If I’d gotten soaked in the rain, I’d risk freezing to death at the Snowy Jungle. This was a pretty deadly combo, and it made me realize this route could be more challenging than I’d thought.
A Guerrilla Snowman stood in my way on the way home, so we got into a snowball fight; to be more specific, I threw a snowball at lightning speed and made its limbs scatter in all directions.
And so, I’d returned to the main hall.
“Hi, Ashley,” I said.
“Oh, souvenir!” said Ashley as soon as she saw me.
“Huh?”
Had she mistaken me for a souvenir? She probably needed to get her eyes or head checked. I was just about ready to send her to a neurosurgeon.
I gave her a reproachful look, then she smiled at me unnaturally.
“I meant, hi, Kudo. Where’s my souvenir?”
“I didn’t bring one,” I said.
“What?! Tsk... Lame.”
“Now hold on, that’s a little rude, don’t you think? And can you not ask for a souvenir as soon as you see me? You’re starting to make me wonder if I should distance myself from you.”
“Ah, I even went out of my way to get you approval for that route. No souvenirs, huh,” she complained out loud, ignoring my comment.
“You’re not even listening.” Resigned and exasperated, all I could do was sigh.
Meanwhile, Carbuncle hopped onto the counter and began grooming itself, unbothered by everything else going on.
“I was kidding. I did bring you something,” I said.
“Good job, Kudo! I knew I could trust you!”
I said nothing. There was nothing to say. Ashley must’ve come preinstalled with a high-speed rotary that helped her flip-flop so quickly. Maybe it was on her arm, so maybe she could fire off a Broken Magnum like a certain king of braves.
I took a rock out of my Dimension Bag and handed it to Ashley. “Here you go.”
She accepted the rock, held it in both hands, and took a good look at it.
She then looked at me and asked, “What is this?”
“What do you think it is?” I asked.
“It looks like just a rock to me.”
“It is a rock,” I said.
She gave me a puzzled look. “So...what’s with this thing? Is it super valuable or something? Some sort of gemstone in the rough?”
“Nope.”
“Then what’s so special about it?” she asked.
“Huh? Nothing.”
“Then it’s just a rock!” she said and threw the rock on the ground.
The receptionists on both sides, who’d been listening to our conversation, started cackling. The receptionists here all had lovely personalities.
“Listen, Kudo...” started Ashley.
“That’s for calling me a souvenir,” I said.
“Ugh...”
“Don’t worry, I did bring you something,” I said. “I know you went through some effort to get me approved, so of course I got you a gift.”
Ashley gave me a sour look, but she did deserve it. I reopened my Dimension Bag and brought out some northern bananas.
“Here you go. Northern bananas,” I said.
“Whoa, those are quite rare! I didn’t think they were something you could find on a first dive,” she said.
“They weren’t all that hard to find. I just looked around areas with the type of vegetation that was in the booklet.”
“But the booklet just had info in text. How did you know what kind of tree to check?” she asked.
“I already had some prior knowledge on that end, and bananas technically aren’t trees, they’re herbs.”
“They are?”
“Yes, at least that’s the case for the bananas back where I come from.”
With major companies like Google and Yahoo backing me, I had access to any information at my fingertips.
“Here, look,” I said and showed her an image of Carbuncle posing next to a tree full of bananas.
✦ ✦ ✦
“I’ve asked this before, but how does this picture thing work?” asked Ashley.
“Ah, it’s too difficult to explain, so I won’t even try,” I said.
“You’re giving up just like that? Well, I won’t try to force you.”
I was glad she was understanding about this. I still wasn’t gonna forgive her for the souvenir incident though.
“Oh yeah, I met the members of a team called Aurora,” I said.
“Oh, that team. They’ve been on a roll lately,” said Ashley.
“Are they that good?”
“I think they’re strong. Though, personally, I think they should take a bit more time with their dives.”
“So you think they’ve been getting risky?”
“I’m not their receptionist, so I can’t say. Even if I were, I wouldn’t be able to stop them if they say they’re working on behalf of the kingdom.”
“Do you think they’re being pressured to hurry?” I asked.
“I’d assume so. They’d need to produce results with all the backing they’ve been getting, so I’m sure there’s a sense of urgency because of that.”
“That sounds like a pain.”
“Accepting money comes with responsibilities, Kudo,” said Ashley.
“Aren’t there high-paying jobs that are really easy and chill?” I asked.
“No...and it isn’t like you need one.”
“Why not?”
“You’ve been diving in the dungeon pretty much every day,” said Ashley.
“Huh? But the dungeon is fun.”
Ashley held her head in her hands. She looked pained as if she were trying to communicate with someone who didn’t understand her language. I mean, technically I didn’t; it was thanks to God’s translation powers that I could converse with her at all.
But right away, she discarded the thought of whatever had been ailing her and turned her attention to the banana in front of her.
“Anyway, are you sure I can have this?” she asked.
“Yes, it’s yours,” I said.
“Yay! Thanks, Kudo!” she said, already moving on.
Maybe you had to have thick skin like hers to make it as a receptionist. It wasn’t an easy job, that was for sure.
I planned to keep the rest of the northern bananas to share between God and me.
After completing some paperwork, I said to Carbuncle, “Do you wanna come home with me today?”
“Mew!” said Carbuncle with its paw raised.
So, we went to God’s place as usual. There, I asked him if he could keep an eye out for Carbuncle whenever I left it in Do-Melta.
“Sure. If someone tries to mess with it, I’ll drop some divine punishment on them,” he said with a smile. His tone had been so casual that you’d think he was munching on some snacks in front of the TV as he’d said it. He’d been very godly in that moment.
“Sounds kind of scary,” I said.
“Mew.”
So, I said goodbye to God and went back home with Carbuncle.