I’d been expecting something far more serious, but she just needed to pee. I thought it was rather anticlimactic.
“It’s because you chugged that orange juice earlier,” I said.
“But I was gonna go dive with you, so I thought I should hurry,” she replied.
I couldn’t really blame her if she’d hurried so she could catch up with me.
There were restrooms of sorts at the safe points located on each floor, but on these building floors, there was an unspoken rule that you weren’t supposed to relieve yourself at some random spot unless it was an absolute emergency. It wasn’t much of an issue out in nature, like a forest or a grassy field, but a building would become pretty nasty if people excreted all over the place. People generally took care of their business before entering the Yellow Wall Vestiges, but that wasn’t always possible. We couldn’t be worrying about bathrooms all the time when dungeon diving, and I’d heard it wasn’t too uncommon for people to answer nature’s call in front of their teammates.
Realizing that, I said, “Oh, come to think of it, I don’t think there’s a restroom in the upcoming safe point.”
“Ah! You’re right!” said Scrael, horrified.
Some safe points had such facilities installed—basically, partitions to hide you from view—but that wasn’t always the case. Smaller safe points that were meant to be used as emergency shelters against monsters omitted them to secure enough space for people to hide inside.
“But I don’t think I can hold it in much longer,” said Scrael.
“R-Right! I get that!”
“I’ll have to do it here...”
We didn’t have much of a choice. I did have all sorts of camping gear including a simple toilet, but I didn’t have a partition. Though, it’d probably be fine as long as I looked out for her.
And so, we made our way past monsters and entered the next safe point. Luckily, no other Divers were around at this time, so we had the place to ourselves. This one was supposed to be for emergency shelter, so it was pretty tiny.
“I’ll have to use the corner of this safe point,” said Scrael.
“Yeah, there’s no other option,” I agreed.
Scrael was crossing her legs as if she was five seconds from exploding; a strong breeze probably could’ve dislodged the floodgates. I’d never seen her in such a precarious state before.
I quickly assembled my compact emergency toilet, which was just a small cardboard box covered in a plastic bag with an absorbent tossed inside. It was quick, simple, and very useful for times like these.
“Do it here,” I said.
“Th-Thanks,” she said timidly.
“I’ll be outside.”
Just as I spun on my heel to stand outside the safe point, I heard something.
“...we should.”
“Then...”
“...right?”
Voices could be heard from the path we’d taken here, and they sounded familiar. They were from the guys who’d been giving Scrael nasty looks earlier at the guild hall.
“No way, are they heading this way?” I wondered aloud.
I had to do something, or they were about to walk in on Scrael relieving herself.
“Akira! Help!” said Scrael.
“R-Right! But what do I do? What do I do?!”
The voices were getting closer.
“Scrael! Hurry up and let it out!” I said.
“But you’re still in here!” she protested.
“I know, but still!”
“Mew.”
“Carbuncle?! You stay quiet for a bit, okay?” I said.
We really couldn’t have those guys see Scrael like this. I had to hide her somehow.
I enormously blundered by not realizing I should’ve gone outside to buy some time. I was in a complete panic and pulled out a wrapping cloth from my Dimension Bag. I was going to take a page out of my ninja otaku friend Kogano Shinobu’s book and use the ninja art of camouflage.
I held the piece of cloth up behind me and cast a generic illusion spell, Stealth Hermit. The spell would blend the target with its surroundings so anyone coming this way wouldn’t be able to see what was behind the cloth.
Phew, that was close. I can’t have those jerks seeing her like this.
And so, I’d camouflaged everything behind the cloth without much thought, thinking the issue had been resolved. But in fact, I’d been standing facing Scrael at that moment.
When I opened my eyes, Scrael was before me with the front of her tribal outfit pulled up to her knees, her sensitive parts completely exposed. Yes, that included the groin area and the little bush growing there.
Scrael yelled in a hushed tone, “A-Akira! Why are you facing this way?!”
“Well, uh, this is just the cool way to use this spell, or ninjutsu, you see. I couldn’t help it!” I said quickly.
“Just shut up and look that way!”
“The thing is, it’s hard for me to turn around like this...” I tried to argue.
“Mew,” interjected Carbuncle.
“What is it, Carbuncle?” I asked, then I noticed it was pointing toward the entrance with its little paw.
“I wanna make a bit more money.”
“Should we go to the next floor then?”
“At our level? Nah, no way.”
The voices were getting closer and closer.
We immediately closed our mouths.
The footsteps were getting louder along with the voices. Eventually, they came up to the passageway right next to the safe point entrance.
A moment later, they passed by the safe point. They’d never intended to stop by in the first place.
The voices grew distant, and I said, “Looks like they left.”
“Good...” breathed Scrael.
As we let out a sigh of relief, it happened.
“Ah.”
“Ah...”
The sudden drop in tension seemed to have made her relax and opened the floodgates. A remarkably loud sound was heard as a considerable amount of liquid was suddenly unleashed. Her position seemed to have shifted as she’d relaxed, and she completely missed the makeshift toilet and went all over the floor, which was immediately stained. There was no way for Scrael or I to stop the damage, of course.
“Ah, ah, aaah...” she said quietly, her face red and completely helpless.
The discharge, which had been coming out at an arc, gradually weakened until it stopped completely.
I was looking right at her, but she couldn’t even scream as the Divers from earlier would hear. An awkward silence hung in the air as neither of us knew what to say.
Not able to handle the awkwardness much longer, I said to Scrael, “U-Um...”
She stared at the ground, not saying a word.
“Well, uh, how do I say this...?” I continued stuttering. “That was very regrettable, and I’m sorry—”
“Stop. Don’t talk,” she said simply.
“Y-Yes, ma’am!”
I put the wrapping cloth away and stood at attention. Meanwhile, Scrael cleaned up after herself, then she stomped on the makeshift toilet—hard.
“Akira, you stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid...” she said.
“I-I’m sorry! There was nothing I could do!”
She sobbed, her face red and eyes full of tears. “I’m so ashamed. I’ve never been so embarrassed...”
It went without saying that the return trip was incredibly awkward. Scrael wouldn’t even answer me when I talked to her, and she just stomped her way forward.
She took her frustration out on monsters by blowing them into pieces with excessively powerful attacks. Her victims included Lizard Skins and Golems, and she even used a Jinshu move called Blast Palm on one of the bosses on this floor, a Don Lizard, tearing it asunder with a single blow.
“Scary...” I said under my breath.
“Mew...” agreed Carbuncle.
Still, she looked kind of cute with her cheeks puffed out in displeasure.
Ever since this incident, Scrael and I occasionally had awkward moments when we saw each other and remembered this day.