Chapter 25

CHAPTER 10 To Accept or Deny a Night’s Invitation
First Friday of July I don’t know if it’s foehn winds or an El Niño or what, but summer in London is so freaking hot and so freaking humid and so freaking oppressive, and I think I’m going to just die it’s so hot tonight. “…Isn’t there anything you could do about the way you talk, Tanaka?” “Come on, man—it’s hot as hell out here.” The words sounded like a new employee who had agreed, at length, to only take her earrings out, and Touya Kamijou was fed up with it. “You’re the one who suggested we go out for a drink after our work was over, you know.” “I’ve only been bringing us to pub after pub and they all have cute girls in them, and every single time you stomp your foot and say, Let’s go somewhere else or I’d rather not or Let’s not go there, either!” “…That’s because you’re not taking into account that I’m a married man. Or are you purposely trying to tear us apart because you can’t stand someone else not being single like you?” “Ugh. Says the man who shrewdly ran into a blond, wavy-haired schoolgirl on the street corner; the very same man who was holding that blind nun’s hand to show her where to go and later tripped, immediately diving into the chest of that other sister with sausage curls. And just what was with that girl yesterday anyway? It might be July, but you can’t go around wearing barely anything like that…” “Well, she seemed to be drifting around near the station. I called out to her, thinking she might be lost. I wonder what that was all about? She must have a lot on her mind…” Touya began muttering to himself, but Tanaka wasn’t listening. In general, a single person would only get pissed off listening to Touya. How had a guy like him convinced such a young, beautiful woman to agree to be his wife? “The whole point of going for a drink was because it’s hot out,” said Tanaka. “But now we’re sweaty just from looking for a place to go! What’s the point?” “I don’t care where we go at this point, so let’s pick the next place we see.” “Hopefully, it’s somewhere we can sit down to drink, at least.” Once they’d decided on an extremely random course, they wandered into a pub like a couple of sleepwalkers—and inside they found surprisingly good-tasting local black beer. As they were putting away some fried fish and drinking their hearts out, they suddenly found they were now a group of three, with the addition of some drunk person they didn’t even know. “I’m telling you, you can try shaying Please shtop cutting down trees for the shake of the planet, but if you don’t cut them down you can’t get a paycheck or protect your family. If you were shomeone like that, would you listen to shomeone shuddenly coming up and giving you a do-good-to-the-environment talk? Greed is what movesh people! Greed, I shay! What I mean isss, to protect the environment, you gotta shet up a way for people to protect their families without cutting down trees, you freaking moron!!” “…Er, who were you again?” “Hmm?? I’m Misaka—Tabigake Misaka. Mackerel really make the best fish fries, huh? It’s a little off-putting with them catching sooo many widdle baby mackerels, but ish still good stuff!” Introducing himself, Misaka reached a fork out for the fish fries Touya and Tanaka ordered. On the surface, he seemed like the sort of dandy gentleman who would fit perfectly in a high-class car painted black, but it seemed the alcohol in the local beer had made him very talkative. “And another thing—all those Japanese people who love their wooden homes sooo much that they’re shouting Cut down more! Cut down more! turn around and tell the workers in the Amazon that you’re doing the wrong thing, you know! Do they even understand what they’re saying?! Those idiots! How can you talk about sounding the alarms of global warming when you don’t even change the settings on your air conditioners, much less turn them off, you fake Samaritans! And if you don’t like it, then make a system where you can protect everyone by raising some trees, goddamn it!!” “I, uh, Kamijou, what’s going on with this guy? He reeks of alcohol.” “…By the by, what kind of work do you two do?” “Well, we work for an office that prevents buyouts related to our parent company…” “Oh, huh? A company president?! Wait, hold on—I’m a person who shows people what the world lacks. The Amazon is a little hot at the moment—would you mind listening to what I have to shay, hmm? Would you?” As they went on and on making a ruckus, they eventually heard a sigh from a table deeper in the pub. Touya looked over there, wondering if they’d been too noisy, and saw a blond-haired, blue-eyed lady in a close-fitting suit. He didn’t know whether she intended it, but the sight of her drinking alone in the dimly lit place and her weary expression seemed to make her somehow exude this pinkish aura. Tanaka, who had been completely preoccupied with Misaka until now, suddenly bolted upright. Before Touya could think, Oh crap, it’s that habit of his, Tanaka said, “I’m going to talk to her! I’m going to, I swear I will!!” “Don’t bother,” said Touya with a chuckle. “It’s suicide.” Abruptly, Misaka countered, “Actually, with her, it might work.”